darkeagle554
darkeagle554
10 posts
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darkeagle554 · 10 months ago
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You deserve a healthy love with someone who hears you, sees you, understands you, appreciates you, supports you, and loves you. Someone who is patient, communicates clearly, and creates a calm safe space to heal, grow, and bloom together. A love you don't have to heal from.
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darkeagle554 · 10 months ago
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I hate every thing. I hate how every single thing is making me irritated. I hate how iam having headaches frequently. I hate that iam not able to find people who share same interests as me, who are understanding and respectful. It's like the people around me are aliens, monsters of some kind. I fear them so much because they are so predictable and judgemental. Not at all friend material. I have always hated my family and religion. Everything is exhausting. And nowadays iam having chest pains as well which is annoying. I cant go out whenever and however as i please because of my religion and culture. I have nothing to entertain myself with except a mobile but i dont want to always use it whenever I feel bored. I want something else. I want people to talk to, i want to go visit museums and gardens and buy lots of books. I feel so numb and it's hurting to be always like this. What am I supposed to do? I know i should have patience and try to change whatever i can for now but i just dont feel I have any motivation to do so. I feel so ungrateful. There are people suffering way more than me and iam complaining about trivial matters. I want to go out. I feel suffocated. I dont want to really die. I want to experience things which will make me happy and I need to find myself again by going to therapy. I need help.
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darkeagle554 · 11 months ago
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darkeagle554 · 11 months ago
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#Youtube #habits #mentalhealth
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darkeagle554 · 11 months ago
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Iam glad for this person's words. I will try to read it over and over until i can understand it.
#youtube #advice #brave
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darkeagle554 · 1 year ago
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PLEASE WATCH THIS DRAMA GUYS. THERE IS NO ROMANCE AND ONLY ACTION. ITS QUITE REALISTIC TOO AND THE ACTORS ARE AWESOME.
Glory of Special Forces (特战荣耀) Whump List
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Whumpee : Yan Po Yue played by Yan Yang
Synopsis : A coming-of-age story follows Yan Po Yue, a young man who is outstanding at everything yet remains a loner that doesn't fit well with the team. After surviving harsh training and difficult missions, he becomes a proper soldier who fights alongside his comrades. (MDL)
Genre : Action, Military, Bromance
I would also like to thank @love-me-a-lotta-whump for the shout-out !
Warning ! Possible spoilers below !
Note :
When I use the term "Fighting" in the whump description, it mainly refers to hand to hand combat, sometimes with a knife. When fighting Yan can be hit, kicked, thrown to the ground,...
Ep 1 : Shot at (a lot), barely escapes an explosion, uses his body as a human bridge so his team can cross, lots of fighting and shooting, in an explosion, on the ground stunned, ears ringing, gets up with difficulty, shot twice in bulletproof vest, falls in the water, sinking unconscious — Running a lot (training), shouting to give himself strength, pouring water over his head —  Scolded
Ep 2 : Humiliated — Sparring, montage of military training (running, crawling, climbing, shooting,…) — Falling from a cliff, lost without a map, hiding, infiltrating a high-ranking drill, catches a snake 
Ep 3 : Scolded, has to stay in a room as punishment, stressed, recalls traumatic memories — Still stressed, PTSD, doing push-ups, sweating, overexerting himself, exhausted, passes out, concern for him — Brought to the infirmary, dehydrated, given an IV drip — Angry, frustrated
Ep 4 : Military base attacked, hiding from snipers
Ep 5 : Stressed, worried for someone, has to make a difficult choice, fighting, furniture thrown at him — Blaming himself, passing his frustration on a punching bag — Training with a knife, overpowered multiple times (arm twisted, pinned to the ground,…)
Ep 6 : Talking about his trauma — Woken up in the middle of the night for a drill, running through a field with explosions all around, running, crawling, shot at 
Ep 7 : Still participating in a drill, shooting, hiding, fighting — Going in a tunnel that’s about to collapse, running to avoid rubbles falling, tunnel collapsing, concern for him (a lot), crawling through rubbles, calling out, tired, more rubbles falling, protecting himself
Ep 8 : Crawling through rubbles to go save someone, rescue team trying to dig through the rubbles, refusing to drink water, tunnel collapsing even more, trapped in a room, worried for someone — Rescue team has to pull back because of risks of further collapse, concern for him — Air vents filled with rocks so the oxygen is dimming, another tremor, mud and dirt falling on him — Drinks water reluctantly (limited quantity) — Covered in mud and dirt, sleeping, has a nightmare, curls up on himself, exhausted, tries to dig through the air vent, desperate, worried for someone, the room has less and less oxygen, collapses — On the ground barely conscious, trying to stay awake, found, finally able to take a full breath of air, concern for him, rescue team desperate to save him, trapped once again after a landslide — Rescue team and friends digging for hours to save him, finally found, carried, wakes up for a brief moment — In bed in the hospital, wakes up, sipping water with a straw, had lung infection with severe dehydration and hypoxia, scolded
Ep 9 : Emotional — Training to disarm and set traps, trap exploding, coughing, covered in flour/dust
Ep 10 : Fighting — Ice put on face, wound disinfected — In a drill, running and crawling through a field with explosions all around, shot at — Told to take off his uniform, scolded, blood poured on him, emotional — Encounter possible drug trafficker, stressed
Ep 11 : Attacked, fighting, kills someone for the first time, shocked, hand shaking — Bandages his leg, hand still shaking — Shot at, offers himself in place of the hostage, concern for him, taken hostage, hands tied, restrained, choked — Taken away, at gunpoint — Arm cut, kills two people, leg hurting — Recalls his first kills, PTSD, crashes the car — Barely able to walk, collapses, feverish, leg wound infected, concern for him — Barely conscious, coughing, given medicine and water — Dragged in a handmade stretcher, helped to walk, collapses, concern for him, shaky breathing — Leg hurting, asking to be left behind — At gunpoint, shot, collapses on the ground, saved, woken up, gunshot wound treated
Ep 12 : In a hospital bed with an IV drip, scolded, tries to move but in too much pain — Psychologically assessed, asked about his state of mind when he killed for the first time, emotional — Wakes up screaming from a nightmare — Training instead of sleeping, recalling his past trauma and the previous killings, PTSD — Sparring, becomes aggressive, has flashbacks of his first kills, doesn’t stop fighting when told to, almost kills his comrade, restrained, struggling, shouting, PTSD — Emotional, begging
Ep 13 : Friend tries to comfort him —  Complaining, told to change path, emotional, shouting, devastated, hitting his head — Locking himself in the bathroom, concern for him, curled up on himself, very emotional, crying, feels like his world is falling apart, finally comes out of the bathroom, comforted — Depressed — Scolded — Emotional, shouting, crying — Running, tired, laying on the ground sweaty — Sparring
Ep 14 : On a drill/competition, running, hiding 
Ep 15 : Still on a drill, shooting, being shot at
Ep 16 : Still on a drill, hiding, fighting — Fighting, shooting and being shot at — At gunpoint — Fighting
Ep 17 : Enduring an intense training, running in full gear through mud and water with no food, given disgusting food, more running in terrible conditions, almost throws up, has to carry heavy weights, falls, helped up, exhausted — Woken up in the middle of the night
Ep 18 : Sparring in the mud, covered in mud — Running while carrying someone, tired, exhausting training — Woken up by smoke grenade, coughing, locked, suffocating — More intense training in the water, tied up and thrown in the water — More intense training
Ep 19 : More intense and exhausting training in harsh conditions
Ep 20 : Thrown into an hostile environment and has to survive — Stun grenade thrown at him, ears ringing, fighting, jumps from a cliff — Attacked by leeches — Fell in a hole, in pain, vision blurry, heavy breathing, anxious, helped up — Tries to climb up out of the hole, fails and falls, lying on the ground exhausted, recalling and talking about his traumatic past
Ep 21 : Helped out of the hole — Captured, tied up, manhandled (a lot), almost hit by a car, dragged on the ground by a car, concern for him, beaten, struggling, exhausted — Fighting
Ep 22 : Fighting — In the hospital — Training, scolded
Ep 23 : Fighting — Split lip
Ep 24 : Has to live for 10 days in a single room with his teammates 
Ep 25-26 : None
Ep 27 : Talking about his traumatic past — Training
Ep 28 : Training, shooting and being shot at, fails the mission, scolded — More training, more shooting
Ep 29 : None
Ep 30 : In a drill/competition — Scolded, kicked — At gunpoint
Ep 31 : Still in a drill, lots of shooting, hiding, running (the usual)
Ep 32 : Still participating in the drill, chased by a lot of people, hiding — Doesn’t know/believe the drill is over, stays in the wild alone during several days
Ep 33 : Still doesn’t believe the drill has ended, voice raspy, paranoid, collapses exhausted, passes out — Scolded
Ep 34 : Tries to dismantle a bomb (not a drill), sweating, tense, fails, panicking, saved, thrown away by the explosion blast — Curled up on himself in a corner, devastated, crying — Has a nightmare, silently crying out — Crying, blaming himself — Grieving, crying — Running to clear his head
Ep 35 : Talking about his guilt, crying — Going back to the place of his past trauma
Ep 36 : None
Ep 37 : Fighting, surrounded — On a mission, bombarded by mortar shots (chaos and whump for several of the team members), worried for someone
Ep 38 : Barely avoid mortar shots, caught in an explosion, rolling down a hill — (lots of whump for the rest of the team) — Found unconscious, taken away by the enemy — Tied in a cage in the water, interrogated, gun pointed at his face, threatened — Tied up with half his body underwater, shivering, exhausted (Gif Set)
Ep 39 : asleep still tied up in the water, saved, shivering — Running away, chased — On a mission, infiltrating the drug dealer base, almost hit by a rocket
Ep 40 : Shooting and shot at, uses his body as a human bridge so his team can cross, fighting, in an explosion, on the ground stunned, ears ringing, gets up with difficulty, shot twice in bulletproof vest, falls in the water, sinking unconscious, wakes up, swims up — Intense fighting, thrown in the water — Shot in the wrist, in a desperate situation, hiding, saved — Wound bandaged, exhausted
Ep 41 : Thrown to the ground twice
Ep 42-43 : None
Ep 44 : Participating in a worldwide drill/competition (planning, shooting, tense situations)
Ep 45 : Still participating in the competition, avoiding lots of explosions, shooting, being shot at, blasted by an explosion, ears ringing — Lots of shooting — In a car under heavy fire — Stays behind so the others can escape, lots of shooting — Walking alone in the mountains/desert 
>> More Whump Lists
More Whump List with Yang Yang :
>> Who Rules the World
>> Fireworks of my Heart
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darkeagle554 · 1 year ago
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I desperately try to understand this and think that this applies to me too. But i dont know its difficult. Am i not trying at all? Am i just lazy? But regardless, i really like this poem and just wanna share with people here. I took it from pinterest.
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darkeagle554 · 1 year ago
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So true. This is something iam struggling with as well and perhaps my understanding of this post is only for short period of time since i find difficult to change my ways and mindset.
“An intimate relationship does not banish loneliness. Only when we’re comfortable with who we are, can we truly function in a healthy way.”
— Unknown
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darkeagle554 · 1 year ago
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So pretty.
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Gradina, Bulgaria (by Super Straho)
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darkeagle554 · 1 year ago
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I like reading, music, scrolling pinterest and of course cdrama♡♡. I came here as a substitute for other toxic social media. Hope its a good place.
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