darkniters

[darkniters]

hey losers i was writing a thing from ask box and it. DISAPPEARED. im so sorry

[darkniters]

i wrote this in 2022, enjoy!

-

"we can't keep doing this, john" you mumble, watching as he takes a drag out of his cigarette.

"hey, you called me, toots." the way his eyebrows furrow tell you that he's thinking the same thing, the guilt and regret settling in when the cloud of lust lifts at last.

you scoff and groan, looking away from his naked figure, instead taking in the articles of clothing that were ripped off and scattered around your bedroom.

"we could work out, you and i." johns voice is quiet, vulnerable. He's looking out the window now, thinking, hoping.

you cross your arms to lay them on your knees, tucking your chin in the fold of your arm, hiding.

"you know that's a lie," you tease, but the twist in your gut makes you regret your words when a familiar scowl makes whatever softness he had left for you disappeared.

"id call off the wedding, you know i would." john finishes his cigarette, placing the stub on the ashtray that's on the night stand. His engagement band flashes with the movement, the gold mocking you.

tears blind your vision, john tenses up when he hears your light sniffles.

"why didn't you show me this side of you before all this?" You're hopeless, this is hopeless, but you needed to know.

his hand is heavy when he places it on your head, fingers threading through the knots he created from moving you around in the bed.

"i wasn't in love with you before.."

his confession is what breaks the dam, and your chest tightens as you begin to sob. fat rows of tears begin to stream down your face.

"it's too late for you and i john, you know that." you say, but still lean into his touch.

john shakes his head, suddenly becominging mindful of the time and he just knows he'll have a million messages from his fiancé asking him where he's been.

he pulls you into his chest, masking your cries and just holding you. exhaling a shaky breath, john wished he could just go back to a time before life got so complicated, before he complicated everything.

"im sorry."

[darkniters]

i wrote this in 2022, please enjoy

-

sitting by your pc, you're not really paying much attention to the monitors, but more blindly scrolling on your phone. seeing your creator friends making tweets come up on the timeline, and even getting some interactions yourself.

you've got one ear under your headphones, the other laying limp behind your ears, when suddenly a familiar notification chimes from your pc, the same on your phone.

you've received a discord message! but sitting in a ball on a chair seems much more appealing right now, maybe the notification can sit for a bit?

the thought wasn't properly considered, as you were already leaning forward to move your mouse, clicking on the messaging application.

it's a dm from ted!

the single way conversation read as such:

YOU.

you better answer you stupid son of a bitch or i will rain hellfire upon you

HURRY UP

they were all sent within the same minute.

pls be nice to me ted nippleson

what do you want, i have no more corpses in supply, you're gonna need to wait another week for that.

are you INSANE

i do not CARE for your pitiful corpses, fool

however i have made you something (oooh ted i wonder what it is)

you couldn't deny you were weary of what ted prepared for you, but curiosity consumed you as you continued to type on your keyboard with satisfying clicks.

i am very frightened ted

have i ever told you that you are a very scary man

nope, but its good to know that i have that sort of power against you.

anyways, i hope you like this, took me a bit to put together

[ link ]

looking over the link, it sent you to spotify, and you clicked into it. a gasp escaped your throat.

ted made you a playlist! and it had some of your favorite songs and some of his own. this was the first time anyone ever made you a playlist, and you were deeply touched by it. another discord message was sent.

it was very difficult to put together, please oh please im begging on my knees make more playlists public i can't keep guessing the songs you like from twitch con 2 years ago.

ted you actually got it super on point, very impressive top man!

yea cause im never wrong (y/n)

you switch the playlist on, it didnt seem to be in a liminal order. scanning through the songs, he was REALLY on point. you read the description of the playlist.

whats up pussy supreme (you are scared of me, admit it)

you've been on the ted nivison brain waves recently, and yea we talk and game a lot but i feel like a thank you is in order, so check it out! a playlist of the shit you listen to (and some of what i listen to too)

thank you for taking quality time out of your life to talk with my stupid ass

reading this, a smile never left your face. the fact that he even did this in the first place was just so nice!

DUDE you killed that shit

i gotta like make something in return

you silly goose

the reason i made the playlist to arch over both of our music tastes is so you dont need to do anything!

YOURE DEBT FREE

DUDE ILL FEEL BAD

ILL HAVE SOMETHING READY IN A FEW DAYS

NO LEAVE IT ITS FINE

I JUST MADE IT CAUSE WE TALK ALL THE TIME AND WE GAME TOGETHER

I DONT NEED SOMETHING BACK YOU USING YOUR TIME TO TALK IS ENOUGH

PLEASE

ITS OKAY

naaaah i'll make you something for sure dude

spending my time is bare minimum, you do the same with me!

new songs keep playing during the conversation, but when 4:00 comes around, teds gotta head out

alright wise guy

you're lucky i have a video to record right now

or else this would continue

enjoy recording dude, im gonna keep listening to this playlist that you've created for my fine ass

FINE???

YOU ARE THE GOOFIEST MOTHER FUCKER IVE EVER MET

DO NOT CALL YOURSELF FINE

BITCH

D:

i hope your video corrupts

and you

shit yourself during recording

and you lose power

YOU DONT MEAN THAT

I DO????

conversation then fizzled out.

you took one more glance over the playlist and noticed something.

some of these songs were made for confession.

you didnt question it, maybe it was done because he likes them, but also some of them were completely out of the ordinary im the playlist, and stuck out like a sore thumb.

little did you know, ted put those in deliberately, seeing if you'd notice and ask about it. maybe not now, but at some point. and maybe, just maybe, he'd have the balls in telling you how he actually feels.

[darkniters]

i wrote this in 2021 for cscoop but i will replace coopers name with schlatts. enjoy!

-

"very sorry about having to delay the video again! i'm working really really hard on it, just give me some extra time, and i'll have it up by next week!"

... i feel bad for lying to the fans, but what am i supposed to say in a situation like this. 'oh sorry loyal viewers of the y/c/n youtube channel, ive been a bit busy having a child.'

i hadn't told anyone about her, and i wasn't really planning on it until she was old enough to conveniently walk into my recording studio. i made a really bad decision months ago when i decided to fuck a dude i didn't know, but the outcome was truly someone beautiful.

i sighed and decided that i should maybe try get a video out by next week, so i get off my ass and head to my recording room. however, before i do so i go to my own room to check on my little girl.

she's sleeping peacefully in the dimly lit room, nothing but her soft breathing being heard. i smile, not in a million years would i expect this to happen. when i found out i was pregnant i was mortified, i told nobody, i still haven't, what will they think of me if they found out i just fucked a random dude? i'd be slaughtered for sure. however, when i first lay eyes on her, i knew that she deserved all the love in the world, for she was perfect.

instead of staring at my child for the next hour i decide to finally get out of the room and work on the video i promised. it was already recorded, just editing to do, so the fun parts already over with. instead of wearing headphones, i let the sound come straight from my speakers, with my pc turned down extremely low, just to not disturb my daughters slumber.

the videos not too hard to edit, just a gameplay of castle crashers with the sleep deprived gang. the memories of the recording session rushed back as i was editing, a smile was brought to my face.

"go dude get his ass!' i yell into my mic.

'you're fuckin alive too y/n, help me out here!' schlatt responds 'besides, you were all talk earlier, what was that you said 'ougghhh i'm sooo good at castle crashers i finished all of it on the original xbox, you guys wont get any opportunity to shine.'

the rest of the group laugh as schlatt teases. mika ended up getting the final kill on the boss.

'god, you two tease SO much, why dont you two just fuck already?' mika joked. the group laughed once more, however, i was left thinking... is this really what everyone else thinks? do they know im pregnant? oh god...

'you good y/n? shit was a joke please dont think too much about it. i dont wanna get too many thoughts into your head.' mika interrupts your thought process.

'dont worry moka, i was just thinkin of a good response, since schlatts mouth is a little too full at the moment.' i smile, leading up to a bit, hoping schlatt gets where i'm trying to go with it. i never actually thought of cooper as such, however, the idea was intriguing... i wouldn't say no if he ever asked me out... and with this little dude on the way, itd be a good help.

'my mouths too full? what the fucks that supposed to mean?' schlatt quizzes, surprisingly he doesn't know what i'm leading up to. thats not like jschlatt...

'your mouths filled up with deez nuts dog, jesus christ' you giggle, schlatt groans in response, a bang on his desk being heard over the discord call. once again the other members in the call erupted into laughter.

'how'd you miss that coming, schlatt! i saw that shit from 300 miles away!' aztro struggles to say, her voice filled with laughter.

'surley.' mika simply says.

'look shut up, i'm a bit stup- oH SHIT WATCH YOUR ASSES WE HAVENT SAVED' schlatt yells out, but it's a little bit too late, as each knights health runs to 0.

the video was edited in the span of 3 hours, and with regular checks on the wee doll, everything was going fine.

you let your subscribers know that the video was done and ready to be uploaded with a tweet and youtube community post.

'hey dudes! the videos all ready to upload! see you guys again next week!'

as soon as i posted, likes and quote retweets were flying in. the people in the replies were ecstatic, and all of the dudes were dropping 'welcome backs :D' in the comments.

however, when i saw the response from schlatt, i swear my smile beamed more.

'welcome back fuckhead, we hangin later, yea? awesome, i'll be an hour ;)'

though my smile didn't last, for i looked down to see my daughter in my arms. oh. fuck.

what's schlatt gonna say when he sees you?!

hes gonna think im a whore! oh fuck my friendships gone hes gonna tell everyone, and im just getting feelings for him and everythings goin- woah hold on.

. . .

it sounds so right to say that?

i have feelings... for johnathan jschlatt...

i have feelings for johnathan jschlatt...

i have FEELINGS for JOHNATH okay we get it.

there's definitely a blush on my face, but i gotta put this newly discovered truth to the side, cause this silly little goobers here. what do i do?! i cant just stuff her into a closet! my plans foiled!

aegghhh...

this panic ensures for an hour, until that dreadful moment where theres a knock on the door.

i put her back into my bedroom, hoping that theres a chance that maybe she'll sleep again?

and walk back down the hall...

to the front door...

and slowly pull the handle...

to reveal...

...

schlatt, of course, who else was i expecting.

"schlatty!" i exclaim, pulling him into a tight hug.

"ey, whats up y/n," schlatt responds, return the hug, placing his head atop of mine. "you've been offline for a bit and wanted to see if everythings good. i hope you don't mind me suddenly coming over." he chuckles.

i smile in relief, hes so chill all the time. "don't worry, i've just been a bit.. pre-occupied, i'm perfect as usual dude." i close the door after schlatt, and we both walk into the living room.

theres no shortage of conversations, johnathan talks about how him, mika and pandah recently had a massive clear out, and he found an old glow in the dark ring i won for him in an arcade years ago.

-

"'we're only 20 points away from being able to get anything from the prize counter, come on john, lets play some easy mini games!' a 18 year old y/n replays in your mind.

'you want to get something so bad get your own points... i'll keep watch though cause i know you too well, y/n.' johnathan responds. 'besides, you wouldn't want me to miss if you got something huge, right?'

i stick my tongue out, preparing to spin a wheel with numerous numbers of points on them. it finally lands on 100 points, which definitely isn't the most but it's not the lowest amount either.

'YOOOOO!' you yell in unison, claiming your points.

as we arrive at the counter, i see this glow in the dark ring and decide 'john will hate me for this'

so i purchased it, and jokingly proposed to johnathan. to my surprise, he said yes, and wore it back to his house, his parents question it, i remember. they've been very keen on johnathan and i getting together, ever since we were younger. too bad my plans changed...

as we both kept reminiscing of the past and our food arrived, everything was going quite well. she was silent for majority of the time schlatt was in my home, which is really lucky.

we would occasionally go silent, and during that time i would scan johnathans face. he'd catch me starting from time, and he'd stare at me with forced wider eyes. we'd laugh at this.

unfortunately the moment was ruined, for a small, frail cry could be heard down the hall. at this moment i could feel my soul leave my body FUCK

"dude..." johnathan begins hesitantly. he looks extremely confused. "you.. you fuckin... child dlc?"

you both laugh at the comment, however he still looks lost. the kids probably best not to be left crying, so i head to the room to bring her down the hall. i come back, and his face shows a bit more understanding.

"woah." he gawks. his head relaxing on his shoulders and his muscles un-tensing. a smile is brought to my face.

at this point the small wails from the girl has stopped, her tiny frame in your arms as you sit down next to johnathan, a little closer than last.

"shes my little dude! sorry i didnt really say anything... i didnt want anyone to know, especially the youtube dudes..." at the end i trail off, thinking how stupid that sounds. these guys are some of my closest friends, why would they judge me for something like this?

one of his arms wrap around my shoulder and the other wraps around the little girl in my arms. theres a tranquil smile on his face, as he looks down at her.

"why'd you think hiding something this cool was good idea, y/n? look at her! she's awesome, i'm sure the dudes will love her!" he laughs. he leans his head against mine, and my face grows warm. "still surprised you 'got some' though, yknow what im sayin?" you can feel a faint smile tug your lips.

schlatts finger runs down the childs arm softly, and ends at her hand. he stopped and stared as her tiny fingers gripped around his finger. truth be told, he was astatic that his long time friend had a child. he was so happy to see his friend happy, and to have her here in his arms, and her daughter made everything better.

he loved you.

he kept staring at the little girl in my arms, his eyes unmoving, but there were another set of eyes that were unmoving.

my eyes kept on schlatts face, a dazed smile plastered on both of our faces. unnoticed, i put my hand over johnathans which rested on my shoulder.

his eyes move to look at mine, a shimmer in his eyes as his pupils grow. i study his face, his pasty physique now grazed with a soft pink, and his lips slightly parted. his eyes seem to be doing the same as yours.

his hands turning around to grasp mine, and just now am i noticing how silent the room is, all that is heard is the breathing from the three of us. a nervous smile once again graces my lips, leaning my back into johnathan a little more.

after a couple of more seconds of decision on wether or not this is what we should be doing, our mouths finally meet.

it was a very quick kiss, but we take no time at all to go back for a second, then a third.

and then a fourth.

once finished, we both smiled and looked down, both of our faces a rose like color. johnathans hands still caught by the girl in my arms, and my own.

"i could get used to this." johnathan says after some time, his head leaning into mine. all three of us falling asleep on one another. i hum in response, with a small chuckle coming through. i turn my head and give him another kiss on the cheek, and as i do it his cheeks turn red again. some of his brown hair falls down closer to his face as he looks at me again, simply to return the favor.

his lips are slightly chapped, but still feel soft and perfect against yours, he parts first, feeling his finger finally being let go. she had fallen asleep.

"my fingers sweaty... euch" he whispers, making a grossed out noise at the end. he leaned back into you. "love you."

i feel hot again.

"love you too johnathan."

-

this story was better when it wasnt jschlatt dont care hope you enjoyed

[darkniters]

omg i loved the girl dad schlatt short you wrote,

could you do more, maybe of them two and reader, appearing on stream?

Thank you, it’s ok if you don’t want to!

jschlatt whos a girl dad

two

“boys, we got a crazy stream lined up for you all today.” schlatt grinned at the camera, leaning back in his chair as he looks towards his right.

off of the side of the camera, is you! sitting with your young daughter in your lap. she’s old enough to be speaking, but in this situation that isnt really the best thing.

she can run her mind a lot, yappin about whatever comes into head and just saying anything and everything all at once. i mean, its a GREAT sign, your kids healthy, but johns bright idea of bringing her on stream to play city skylines with him isn’t something that is sitting right with you.

“may i introduce you all, to the specialist guests of all time…” he reaches his arms over, and she jumps into them. he then lifts her up and over, and onto his lap with great ease. “you boys remember small men dont you?”

a codename came up by schlatt to keep her identity fully concealed. she’s also sporting a pair of sunglasses and a mask, which he ripped directly from ranboo with absolutely no shame.

“SMALL MEN?” she whips her head around to stare at her father, shes so much smaller than him that he’s had to lower the camera, the top of his head cut off. “i thought i was UTKA?” she sounds offended.

schlatt stares down at her, his hand holding her back in place as the other rests on the table, as he lets out a hearty chuckle, “these losers wont be calling you utka, sweetheart. thats what we call you!” he explains. you can see through the side of the sunglasses that her eyes are shining up at her dad.

“speaking of ‘we’ as the collective,” he looks over at you, a giddy smile again finds it way on his face. you roll your eyes, before rolling your chair into frame as well.

you make an explosion noise from your mouth, making small men giggle loudly. schlatt pulls your chair as close as possible, before he rests his hand on your arm rest, making sure you dont move out of frame.

“family reunion, baby! like a big ram family right infront of ya.” he cheers, small men starts frantically waving at the screen.

“small men wave up at the camera up there, they cant see you when you wave to the screen!” you tell her, her heads moving around as if its a chickens, quickly jutting around in every direction like she’s never been in the room before.

she finds the camera and leans forward, waving frantically and crazily, and schlatt starts waving too, copying her to the best of his ability. you let out a much more relaxed wave, just lifting your hand and moving your fingers.

“alright, small men. you ready to make a city?” schlatt gently grabs her hand and brings it to the mouse. she grabs ahold of it, her hand looking pathetic compared to the size of it.

“daddy im gonna make… the BEST city. in the whole. ENTIRE world.” she beams, excitement taking over her to become a character.

he has chat and view number invisible, meaning whatever chat is saying, none of you will see. overall being a good thing for your anxieties, you dont want to know what everyone is saying.

after an entire explosion and the new monument “BIG MAONTIN” in the city “the hOuse,” you leave the room briefly.

you notice how quiet the house is outside the room, it feels almost alien to have a house so quiet. but you know that your daughter, and your lover are going to have a memory to cherish forever. and that means so much more to you than anything else you could be doing right now.

[darkniters]

jschlatt who draws

you’re about to go to the store to do a weekly shop, the food in the fridge is running low, and the cats arent getting any thinner.

when the list is complete, you set it on the counter, to easily be found and picked up right before you go. you gotta find your bag first though, so you leave the room.

you speak loudly through the house, informing anyone whos willing to listen that you’re leaving, and will be back soon.

however, when you find yourself ready to grab your list, you see schlatt, hunched over where your list was situated on the counter, hunched over and scribbling rapidly.

making your way over to see what he’s up to, wrapping your arms around his waist as you prop your chin on his shoulder.

you see that he has sloppily written a few extra things onto the list, and now he’s scribbling drawings on the side of the page.

a plethora of cocks line the side of the page, as well as a drawing of one of the cats. he’s drawn a pair of eyes in the top left corner.. oh wait no. those are tits.

a crudely drawn person, a few scribbles of the pen. the sides of the pages are completely fucked up. and he’s still adding to the collection.

however, when he finally puts the pen down, you see his hand was covering the bottom right of the page, a collection of hearts are gathered there. he lifts his arm to wrap around you, before he bring his lips to graze your face.

“get yourself something nice.” he whispers, bringing his lips to the shell of your ear. he then pulls out a collection of cash, and slips it into your back pocket. you fail to argue with him, as he picks up the page and holds it infront of you, ushering you to leave before you even think about rejecting the money he gave you.

you smile, take the page, and leave the house, studying everything over and over before your eyes lock on the hearts in the bottom corner.

he has your initials and his initials placed next to eachother inside of one of the hearts, it looks like something a high-school girl would do with her crush, but this was a fully grown man, and you can’t help but love him for it.

[darkniters]

jschlatt who gets you to appear briefly in a video

in the video, things are about to change, schlatt talks about how the content on his channel is going to not constantly be tiktok reaction videos.

however, he really needed someone to hone the point home for the audience that he doesnt want to keep up this content anymore (like he needed it, i doubt we wanted it too)

one evening, after editing the video, he walks out to the main living area of the apartment, where he sees you lounging about on your phone, cats laying on either side of you.

he smiles, he then circles around and comes in front of you, sitting in the small space left on the couch. as you lower your phone, you offer him a small smile.

he begins his proposition: “how’d you like to appear in a jschlatt video, sweetheart?” he offers quietly, his voice gentle as if he went any louder it’ll falter your decision.

you look at him confused, you didnt NOT want to appear, but this came out of nowhere. you never discussed anything about you appearing on camera or making you guys public, so the proposal took you by surprise.

“whats it for?” you quiz, not entirely sure where this is leading. he smiles in return.

“i need you to pretend to tell me off, in a sense. you know like, ‘schlatt we’re going broke you gotta stop tiktok reacting’ or something. nothing serious, and if you dont want to its okay.” he explains. you nod your head, imagining how it would go down.

“yeah i can do that, do you wanna do it now?” you ask. you lift yourself up from the couch, the two cats meowing in discontent due to the shifts in weight.

“yeah if you dont mind, i’ll just pretend you come into the room and do it.” he stands up and reaches out his hand for you to grab, and you both make your way into his recording room.

he sits himself down in the chair, and then gets his recording software up and running. once everything is tested and ready, like his mic and such, he turns his body to you.

“alright so yeah, just come in and say like ‘you gotta stop tiktok reactions its ruining this family’ or something really over dramatic. just a quick bit, nothing more.” he explains.

“right, got it.” you nod. you leave the room and close the door behind you. schlatt starts blabbering on about something, and then yoy open up the door.

“schlatt you gotta stop making tiktok reaction videos, we can’t afford to live here anymore.” you say sadly. he looks at you with a distraught look in his eyes.

“oh god.” he lets out breathily. “oh fuck.” he stares into the camera.

“somethings gotta change around here.”

he then suddenly breaks character and bursts out laughing. “that was perfect thank you so much.”

he stops the recording and bounds over to you, wrapping his arms around you and pecks your forehead, then your lips. “you’re so good.” he whispers.

“thank you,” you breathe back, pecking him again on the lips. “can’t wait to watch it back when it’s uploaded.”

-

a few months later, the videos live, and you’ve forgotten about the bit you both did.

“even my girlfriend has had enough of my bullshit!” he exclaims through the screen. when suddenly a familiar scene plays on your screen.

you smile, and you see yourself doing some horrible acting, not looking good but looking decent, hair flat and wearing loose clothes.

schlatt leaves the office, and offers you a grin.

“videos live, i hear youre already watching it?” he asks, hearing the video play through your phone. you nod, looking at both of you stare eachother out on your screen. then. you notice something.

schlatts eyes can be seen from the side of his face, and his eyes are bright and glistening as they stare at you, before they lose some color when he looks to the screen.

his eyes are filled with so much love for you, and his audience, hopefully, will see that too.

[darkniters]

jschlatt who whispers to you

twitch dot tv slash jschlatt is online, and you’re well aware due to the loud personality voice schlatt has put on in the other room.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” he yells, the sound echoing throughout the house. you usually check into his streams, but right now your busy figuring out your hours for work and are in no need for distractions.

you look around the living room quickly for a red pen, needing to circle something on the page, but your efforts deem useless. you suddenly remembered schlatt took one into his office with him to do a bit.

you didnt want to find a different red pen because you knew where that one was, so you quietly make your way down the hall before schlatts office.

his fans figured out about you through a lot of bits schlatt would make where he would tag you on twitter or tag any girl he posts on instagram with your username, so you weren’t a private couple, but you still weren’t twitch or youtube public.

you open the door timidly, trying to bring as little attention to yourself as possible. unfortunately for you, the shitty tiktok schlatt was watching just ended, and his spiel afterwards was done.

his head whipped to your direction, and he gave you a grin. you gave him a smile back, and he reached his hand out for you to grab.

you grab ahold of it and make your way behind his chair, head resting on the back of it as your hands snake their ways around his neck.

he speaks briefly to his audience, as he rocks the chair gently from left to right, moving your head along with it. before he looks up at you, eyes full of stars like he’s seen the greatest thing of the entire universe.

“whats wrong?” he whispers, gently. its not a breathy whisper, its just making his voice quieter so the mic can’t pick it up as well (it does still pick it up)

“i know you have a red pen in here and i really need it” you whisper quieter, the mic unable to hear you at all due to you being farther away and also a lot less loud than schlatt.

“oh right yeah,” he reaches to the left of his desk, and grabs the pen. “just be careful its a bit finicky.” he mumbles. his hands reach up to where yours rest around his shoulders, and he gently brings it to his lips, kissing the back of your palm gently.

you smile, take the pen from his grasp, and then peck your head down to kiss the crown of his head, his hair ticking your face. you then break away from him, and thats when you remember he was still live. your face briefly flushes.

schlatt also seemed to have forgotten, as he stares at you grinning as you leave, before he brings his full attention back to the screen. the chat is running like crazy, simply saying your name in all caps and many awws. schlatts cheeks are painted red.

“alright alright chat moment of weakness, lets get a move on.” he continues to stream, but it seems after that encounter; he seemed much happier for the remainder duration of the time live.

[darkniters]

jschlatt whos a girl dad

you guys may have seen this prompt before on another account and thats because i asked them, i love girl dad schlatt. enjoy!

in early days, schlatt wakes up to baby cries in the night, to either bring her into you if you decide to breastfeed, or he brings a premade bottle in.

you both got a super deep arm chair that you sit with your small little baby cradled in the crook of your arm. but she looks specifically teeny when shes in schlatts arms.

he cant dress her for shit, moreso dressing her entirely in one color instead of giving her a little bit of style.

he makes fun of her greatly when she has no hair, calling her “baldy” with any opportunity he gets.

on the topic of nicknames; he does have a few very cute ones. if he was to ever make her public in videos, he would definitely come up with a nickname, like small men, to be channel authentic. but around the house he calls her utka.

on the channel, when shes a bit older, he has a table sitting right outside his door with a pair of sunglasses and a face mask, and if she ever HAS to come in (she does often) she’ll have to put them on, he wants her to have privacy for as long as possible.

she begs you guys for a third cat and if she gets it she’ll probably name it after some obscure tv show you and schlatt had her watch when she was younger.

i feel like schlatt would only want one child. with two your even but three you’re outnumbered, may as well stick to where the parents are the ones in charge.

i have so many other ideas i would love to hear if you guys have any too, drop them in my ask box :]

[darkniters]

jschlatt whos not good at cleaning

he really REALLY tries his best, but its just not his strong suit. he doesnt even notice that things are dirty until you point it our or until its very clearly dirty.

and when he does clean, he’s really bad at seeing everything, he leaves things on the tables, on the counter, in the wrong places. he just forgets to put everything away if they’re not all grouped together.

he likes stocking cupboards, and he sets them up well, but if the salt and pepper shakers are sitting on the table? yeah those are staying there until you put them away.

sweeping floors are hard for him, he always seems to just go around and miss a whole section.

he doesnt bring the bin in his room out until the very last moment, when it’s practically overflowing, probably able to fill a second bin bag with everything peeking out the top.

he asks to be reminded if he misses something, because he knows he misses things, and has started to look around for cups that may be in other rooms or checking floors for large spans of dirt.

hes trying his best. besides, everyone loses track from time to time

[darkniters]

jschlatt who likes your band

you come back home from a session with your band, nothing incredible but practice makes progress.

you unlock the door to your apartment, tired and wearily, ready to conk out on your bed and relax for the night, when you hear a sound coursing through the house.

its john, as expected, but he’s playing your music through the speaker on the counter in the kitchen. a pleasant aroma is also pacing its way through the house, making your stomach growl and grumble with a hunger you didnt even know you had.

you walk deeper into the house, and into the kitchen, his back is facing the door but he’s moving his shoulders from right to left in time with the song, singing along very quietly but very sweetly.

its cute! he’s having fun in the sun, listening and shimmying along to the music. if he’d had heard you arrive, he’d probably stopped before you even reached the other side of the front door.

but no, he’s showing his support and giving his own rendition of your song, very quietly to himself.

you make your way closer to him, sneaking along the room trying to stay unnoticed, until you reach your hands up and place them over his eyes, he jumps in his skin, hand gripping the counter as his face flushes white from the tips of his ears to the apple of his cheeks.

“oh fuck dude” he sighs out, his entire body loosened when he figured out it was you, after a brief moment of being concerned. you cant help but laugh at him, before he turns around and pushes you away slightly.

hes much more quiet after that, your presence in the house made known to him making him shut up until it gets to sillier lines or just melodies he likes in the song.

during dinner, he lets the songs play on, and he tells you when his favorites come on, singing much more along with the chorus, and you tell him the background details of each song as they play.

later that evening, when your conked out and schlatts still up, he keeps listening, singing along dreamily as he imagines the meaning behind the words, and what he can do with you when your next song drops.

he sleeps listening to the songs, too, the melody southing and the vocals pretty. he can’t wait until you go on tour, he’ll always be your number one fan.

[darkniters]

jschlatt who likes to kiss

in moments of true serenity, in the wee hours of the day, schlatt often times finds himself peppering your face with small, gentle kisses.

anywhere and everywhere where he can slot his lips, they’re there. on your forehead, the apple of your cheeks where he can see them get red under where his lips grazed. he kissed the bridge of your nose, from between the eyebrows to the very tip of your sniffer. he finds the corner of your mouth, not going you the satisfaction of kissing it directly, but pecking at the edge of your lips.

he finds your jawline, dont assume thats safe from him either. and then his escapade lowers down the core of your neck, before he trails his head to the side and nips and tickles your neck.

you love when he does this, as not only does it show the affection that he builds up, but its the fact that its so unfiltered him, showing off love that you wouldnt want demonstrated by anyone else.

your favorite thing is when he lulls his journey, and when you can just feel his facial hair tickling your face in regards to where he stopped. he doesnt stop often while hes doing this, but when he finds himself whispering proclamations of love, it seems he forgets how to multitask.

in a more intimate setting, he finds his tongue bullying its way into your mouth.

he skips the foreplay, not using any time to soften your face, simply crashing his lips into yours and separating his lips to have his tongue peek out, in an attempt to get your mouth to open up.

theres not many times you dont let him in, allowing him to explore and dominate the inside of your mouth. both of your eyes are drifted closed, not being able to see eachothers next move but feeling it inside the crevasse of your mouth.

when you break away due to the importance of oxygen, your faces are dyed red, both your eyes are glossy but have a hint of a new feeling hidden inside of them, and a thick, durable string of saliva holds your lips together, like tape that doesn’t separate the lovers.

[darkniters]

jschlatt who stays awake a little bit longer than you do

when both of you migrate your way into your shared bedroom, it’s sort of a silent race between you two in who falls asleep last.

you’re both trying your best to not sleep and make the most of your time together, however with the video thats playing on your phone faced down, as you curl your way into schlatts side, you’re lulled to sleep, your hand pressed atop of his chest feeling his breathing and heartbeat below the palm of your hand.

schlatt always finds himself staring at your face, the expression calm and unbothered. his arms snakes around your torso as he holds you close get slightly tighter, as he stares at you like you’re a firework show.

although currently your conked out, how does he find you not doing anything so interesting? it seems as most of the emotion is going on in his head, his face unreadable, but his eyes full of emotion and love, could also be seen as admiration.

he follows the freckles on your face, the lines of your closed, down facing lashes, to the lines under your eyes. then down your nose before his eyes stop on your lips, before restarting the trail over. it doesn’t really make sense why hes so encapsulated by this, your face doesn’t magically change overnight.

he even loves your acne when your having particularly rough patches, and when your eyes have much darker rings around them, he likes to bring his mouth close to your eyes in some strange attempt to kiss them away.

the sleep helps with removing the rings, but when you’re not fully asleep and you feel him do that? you feel like he’s the cure to all your restless nights.

soon after studying your face, he always pecks the top of your head, before outlining you, and his breathing becomes steadier than it was before, both of you making a sleepy melody together.

[darkniters]

jschlatt who interrupts your time of work

the readers gender isnt implied but he does say “atta girl” / includes a bj

nsfw below cut

every so often, schlatt finds himself yearning for a release, but ever since you’ve come on the scene, getting off himself? off the menu.

he’ll find you in the living room, picking up your laptop bag, or hunched near the ground working on some project, before he stops infront of you, placing his foot infront of where your sitting as a sign of power, at least that’s certainly how you see it.

he stands above you, looking down at your curled up state before crouching down to your level and pinching at your chin.

“got another project for ya, sweets.” he’d utter, his voice quieter and deeper than usual, before coming im close to you.

you assume he’s gonna kiss your lips, preparing yourself for it and fluttering your eyes shut, but he swerves in the last moment, nipping and pecking at your neck like its a bird feeder for a bird.

you give him leeway, allowing him to have his way with you, before he breaks away and stares at you.

“whaddya say?” he breathes. lifting his thumb to caress your cheek.

you nod, although this may be something due soon, why would you give up on an offer like that? if you weren’t in the mood before, you certainly are now after that demonstration of affection.

he grins, it looking much like as when a wolf bares its teeth, before he stands up, holding your shoulder as a way to keep you on the ground. he then moves his hand up to pet at the top of your head, “atta girl.”

you place your hands on his thighs, you need to sit up straight to be eye level with the tent growing in his sweats, the grey shade of them making the bulge seem bigger.

you peck his dick through his sweats, it bouncing lightly under the fabric, before you lift your hands and tug at the waistband. you pull them down and his dick springs out, not having any underwear on to sheath the apparatus away.

his pants hang loosely around the bottom of his upper thighs, your hand resting once again on the fabric, before you grab ahold of the top of the fabric with one hand, and the other curiously runs a finger along the side of his cock.

you have experience in taking schlatt in your mouth, but it always takes some getting used to every time you begin, because he’s big. his cocks long, and its a bit girthy, nothing completely unordinary though, he doesnt have some monster cock. either way, he never fails to reach the back of your throat.

you tentatively kiss his tip, it a light shade of pink with how much pressure it’s been under, before wrapping your lips around the head and swallowing around it, in an attempt to get a reaction out of him. your attempts result you in a success, as he lets out a breath he didnt know he was holding.

as you lower your head, you can feel each and every detail that pops from his cock, from the large vein at the bottom of it, to the thickening of the base, having to open your mouth wider to accommodate the size of your mans length.

his mouth opens as he lets out a groan, enjoying the feeling the heat of your mouth heating up the already hot length. as your mouth comes closer to the base, he feels his tip reach the back of your throat. you then move your head back and his dick begins to leave your mouth, and when you lightly suck and hollow your cheeks around him, he lets out a moan.

“oh fuck toots.” his eyes roll back as you continue. you’re now looking at him through a layer of eyelashes, your eyes clouded now with a layer of lust as you crave more. one of his thumbs graze the apple of your cheek while the other tangles itself in your hair.

you continue to go down on him, slightly moaning around his cock as he pulls at your hair to do whatever he wants you to do. his hips begin to move steadily forward and back, kissing the back of your throat in the process. you gag slightly around him, fat tears rolling down your cheeks. his thumb brushes the tears away, the contrast between his thumb moving slowly and sweetly, to the quick pace of his hips moving, is intoxicating.

the consistency of both those begin to stutter soon however, he shoves his cock in your mouth urgently, having you gag and moan against it, almost shoving it down your throat. he continues to moan and splutter out praises, and your name coming out in staggered breaths. it’s clear he’s preparing his release.

in a final ditch effort, you fully hollow your cheeks, staring up at him and having long lines of tears roll down your face. you go down as far as you can on his dick, and you lift your hands from his thighs to grip at his balls.

he lets out the most pitiful, pornographic moan youve ever heard. then you feel thick, hot spurts of liquid shoot down your throat. he stills, hand still tangled in your hair, as the other that was on your cheek moves to the side of your neck, where he kissed earlier.

you close your eyes, allowing him to shoot his load into your mouth, before he pulls out, leaving a line of cum on your tongue. when you see his dick, its still leaking out, his tip a much deeper shade than before, as if its blushing at you, and veins have grown more prominent along the side of his cock.

he sighs, his cock softening slightly. his breathing is staggered and his eyes keep fluttering open and closed, not sure what state they wanna stay in. must have been an intense release.

“god toots, you’re incredible..” he breathes out. and then, his eyes open slowly, looking down at you. he pets your head as he grabs your hand, helping you off the floor. “don’t think we’re done yet, sweetheart, you deserve something for that amazing performance.”

all giggles and smiles, your work for that day; was long forgotten.

[darkniters]

jschlatt who was an imagination kid

often times, schlatt likes to tell you about some of the things he did as a kid. and a lot of the times its the games he would play in his backyard when he was in no mood for baseball.

he has an older sister, we know this, and a lot of the time she didnt want to give into his boyish behavior, and so when he had spent enough time hitting a ball hard against the wall, he’d start leaping flamboyantly around his garden.

he used to have this game he’d play, where he was himself but all his imagination buddies were from his favorite games, and he had to save that universe from the big bad, before having a big dance party, and then leaping back into the portal dimension, going to save the next world in dire need of some ‘johnny schlatt action’ as he put it.

you quiz him if he still imagines this now, often time finding him talking to himself in the kitchen, or seeing his head spin from right to left as if hes in a conversation, but not moving his mouth.

“no,” he informs you, “those are just signs i gotta get emitted to a home soon.”

he does secretly imagine those days again, but he’d never admit it out loud.

[darkniters]

jschlatt who has a cardboard cutout in his room

it stands in the corner of his bedroom, you know that american flag with that woman on it (is it beyonce? im not sure, im european) yeah, well he has that draped over the back of it.

hes been meaning of getting rid of it, it just takes up space, plus jambo really doesnt like it and has scraped up the bottom of it, leaving deep gashes in the cutouts feet.

as his housemate, youre also made uneasy by it. its not often you enter his room without telling him, and even then the cutout makes you jump.

even if you know hes not in the room, you dont pay enough attention to the corner and you’re jumping in your skin, thinking youve been caught for doing something completely innocent, like giving his computer mouse back, or dropping off a pair of socks he dropped on his way to his room from doing laundry.

hes caught you getting scared by it once or twice; the door opens and you walk into the room, with him laying on his bed, dickin about on his phone. you ask him a question, something about dinner, hes not really listening.

then suddenly your head spins suddenly, and your shoulders bounce, a quick sigh leaving your mouth.

you point at the cutout “that fuckin thing scared the shit outa me. please please PLEASE get rid of it soon dude.”

he decides hes gonna keep it for a little bit longer.

[darkniters]

jschlatt whos a bartender

im adding onto this post

your group of friends all leave one by one, leaving you the only one of your group left in the bar, waiting for your lift home (because you cant drink drive!)

you decide not to drink anything else, having your fill for the night and just ready to conk out the second your head hits the pillows.

youre reproached by the bartender, youve been sitting at the bar while you wait, not thinking one person is worthy to occupy an entire table. he greets you with a smile.

“you want anything else?” he leans forward as he asks this, smile on his lips. you shake your head, leaning in closer again.

“no, no, im done for the evening, thank you though!” you can tell yourself its because you dont want any alcohol in you all you want, but really its because that shit costs money.

“hey, if you want i can make you something alcohol free?” he offers, “it’d be my honor, and i’ll even make it on the house. just for you toots” he grins, subtly flirting with you

a roll of your eyes and a small chuckle leaves your lips. “alright, if you insist.”

it seems as if this bartender cant stop smiling, as he moves away, he’s got the widest smile youve ever seen from a person, teeth showing in all their pearly glory. he briefly walks away to get a glass.

while he’s gone, however, the universe decided that you’re its next victim.

a man approaches the chair beside you, and sits himself down. theres a strong attempt from you to pay him no heed, to focus on the man behind the bar making your elaborate yet alcohol free drink, but this man is in dire need of your attention it seems, staring you out while you look forward.

you sigh, turn towards him, and give him a small, unmotivated smile.

you’re not really listening to what he has to say, but he does say “whats a place like you doing in a girl like this” which is just. not right. at all. it makes you laugh though.

you don’t care about this guy enough to listen to him babble on about himself, and it seems the same comes from the bartender, finishing your drink and setting it infront of you.

while the guy doesnt seem like trouble, youre still wildly uncomfortable, and you give a sideeye to the bartender. his brown eyes are already on you, as he scratches the side of his face. the beard below his nails make a noise.

he understands your look, and he nods subtlety.

“hey man, this is my girlfriend youre speaking to. may wanna back off a bit.” the bartender says monotonously. he then reaches out his hand and grabs ahold of yours, gripping it softly.

the other man is surprised, probably just as surprised you are. you play along though.

“yeah sorry, i just wanted to see this man on shift, cant get any better than a man in uniform, right?” you regard cheekily. although its brash, it’s exactly what you’re thinking.

his tight fit black shirt is doing something to you, and he’s now looking out for you? you gotta come back here more often.

the bartender grins as the man leaves in a huff, giving up on his attempts to further advance with you. at some point, his fingers began to run left to right over your knuckle, without either of you noticing, it seems.

when you look back to him, his face is red, still gripping your hand. he clears his throat “apologies, i didnt mean to go to that level of extreme… in which saying we were together…” he seems flustered and embarrassed that he thought of that, and he physically cringed at himself for even bringing it to light.

he attempted to move his hand away, but your clamp on his hand was stronger. the heat between you two couldve melted the ice in your still undrunk drink. you cant help but smile. “i didnt mind at all, thank you.”

both of you are overjoyed that there are more than one bartenders working tonight, because everyone else wouldve been left waiting, your red faces looking into eachother as your hands stay pressed together.

he clears his throat.

“um. its not often time i find myself asking this but. can i give you my number?”

you pretend to think, lifting your unoccupied hand and tracing a finger around the rim of the drink he made for you.

you respond quietly, jokingly, “only because you paid for my drink”

a smile is exchanged between you to. he writes his number on a napkin, and leaves you to put it in while he runs off to server other customers, his eyes often looming back over to you while you drink your final drink of the night.

you call him over before you leaving, letting him know that youre going.

“please let me know when you get home!” he calls out as you walk away.

you turn your head and smile his way, giving a quick nod and a wave his direction.

when the bartender finishes his shift, he finally gets access to his phone again, you shouldn’t have your phone with you behind the counter! you’ll get distracted easily!

he sees he has 3 messages from an unknown number

‘hiiii im home btw :]’

‘wait i didnt give you my name oopsies‘

‘anyways GOOBDIGHT’

he cant help but let out one of those large grins he does, hoping he will see you at the bar, or other places, again soon.