darkxacademiasblog - Tumblr blog

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My hopeful future after I graduate

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One of the most important alchemical symbols of Renaissance Christian alchemy was the virgin Mary squeezing her tiddies into a bowl

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i badly want to turn this into a study blog kind of an account. but i'm also uncertain about my consistency with posts. i might change the username if i turn this into a study blog account or maybe more like an account to document every moment of my life- both the worst moments and the best ones and be absolutely transparent here.

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I cannot believe some people out there still don’t know that overpopulation as a cause of ecological collapse is a racist myth that easily leads to eugenics.

We all know your countries are slowing down reproductively. So when you say things like “having children is irresponsible” and “there are too many of us already”, who are you talking about? Who are you referring to? Who should stop reproducing? Whose existence are you blaming?

Like with most global ills, rich white countries are the problem. The problem is Northern overconsumption. It’s not about Black and Brown countries reproducing. It’s people in rich countries currently consuming resources at a rate more than 30 times higher than those in impoverished countries. There aren’t too many of us. There are never going to be too many of us. The fact that you even think there could be too many of us is telling. Your systems are the problem. Dismantle them instead of blaming poor people of color for a problem your people created.

Leave African women’s reproductive choices, specifically, alone. How about a world where people in the Global South keep forming the families they want and people in the North stop barreling through our collective resources? How about that?

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reblog to give the last person a kiss on the forehead 🌿✨

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The saddest think about TSOA is how melancholy the writing is, how the narrator (Pat) rushes thru the event of his past in one chapter or two, because it's obviously something he would rather forget...just mentioning the thick details, hell he doesn't even mention his sisters...

but when his time with Achilles comes, it's all slow, every expression noted down, every tilt of the head, the way sun shined on his hair, the way his eyes crinkled, everything.

It gets even more clear during the war, how little he describes of the near ten year experience of the deaths, killing, saving, how little of the battles he fought or the people he mended...it is all Achilles, Achilles this and Achilles that.

You know what's making me kind of teary while writing this? I feel as if the book was written during Pat's time alone in the world. Notice how the narration shifts to present tense as soon as Pat dies, notice how it stays that way. It's like..him sitting there by Achilles grave and he's recalling all the story to Thetis, right? And he's teary, but cant cry cuz he has no tears left to cry, and he's stuck in a trance, in his longing for his Achilles and he does not care that Thetis is his mother...he just goes on with the story and he says things like....

like..imagine Par's form leaning on to Achilles' tombstone, staring at the empty sky..and his face is expressionless, his eyes holding all the grief unimaginable and he goes.. “I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind,"...then his voice cracks, "by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.”...then tears rolling down the cheeks, a sad smile on lips.

and that quote.. “We were like gods at the dawning of the world, & our joy was so bright we could see nothing else but the other.”

the writing feels so nostalgic. It's not as if the characters are living, it's that they have lived. And the narrator knows how their story ends but he cant help but recall all the beautiful parts, all the softness of Achilles, all the childhood games...and when I think about the "we were like gods.." quote, I always tear up, cuz I think Pat too was in tears when he said that.

"I am made of memories" and the whole fucking book is a memory. In the end, when Thetis writes his name, he sums it all up whit just one short sentence (last sentence of the book) and it's like..he's so done with Achilles' absence that he cannot wait a second more, not to finish their story, not to give some kind of fancy ending..no hugs, kisses, apologies, no dialogues or no description of their emotions or expression...just..

..our hands meet and there could never be a greater miracle in the existence of the universe

fuck you Madeline

[darkxacademiasblog]

hobbies include sitting on my bedroom floor being absolutely devastated by the fact that i have a physical form

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is it the seasonal depression time yet? i hate being 16 but i also love being 16. 16 has brought in so many complexities in my life. at least, i'm being productive this week. being immensely busy is what keeps me away from profuse thoughts. when you're 16, life becomes a bit difficult and often, the people you love drift away from you. hate it here.

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I couldn't post yesterday because my wifi was down but thankfully, today it's working just fine. Yesterday was quite a productive day. I journaled for an hour in the morning which was the best start to the day for me. I completed a lot of my pending holiday homework and I read halfway through the book I'm currently reading which is Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. It's a nice, light-read after all the heavy classics I read last month. Unfortunately, I couldn't go for a walk because it was raining quite heavily. Nevertheless, it was a nice day and I lowkey love gloomy days, so that made it ten times better. I hope y'all had a great yesterday and in case y'all didn't, we are always blessed with a today. We've time and we can always make our today the best one. (and I'm sorry for my pathetic photography skills. the dim lights didn't do the work. :'))

day 1 of #100daysofproductivity

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dear lord can i pls skip to the part where i feel truly alive?

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i'm going to do the 100 days of productivity challenge and post about my, preferably and hopefully, productive day here. at this point, this account is switching roles and i really need some motivation to get into a discipline, so here we go.

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OMG. this deserves more recognition. it's so articulate.

"You are drunk."

"Drunk with love."

He collapses to the ground and rolls in the grass, cigarette ashes on his badly torn jeans. Breath falls heavy from his lips, full of alcohol and swollen with stars, and then floats like sweet smoke towards the thundering sky. His eyelids are down, his hands are clumsy, gripping at the edge of his jacket, nervous fingertips playing with my bracelet. His earrings sparkle in the golden light.

"I wanted to taste the moon."

A raindrop falls on his tongue, and his red-stained teeth twinkle white and innocent in the flickering light of the streetlights. He lifts his fingers, he raises them up and pulls them as far as he can, and he almost seems to touch the black blanket that in the Bible is called the firmament.

I lay down on the damp ground next to him, one hand clenched in a fist and the other open on the chest. He takes my wrist and brings it to his mouth, leaving a wet kiss on the fair skin of my palm. I resist the urge to wipe my hand off my pants and I look at him. His forehead stretched out and white, cheekbones quick and sharp, his smile light and sugary, eyelashes that shine like pearls.

"You're crazy."

"Crazy about you."

[darkxacademiasblog]

B1/B2 is the worst level of language learning to be at bc when ur C1 and people ask you if you speak a language, ur like hell ya bitch i do, and when ur A1/A2 ur like umm not really, but when you’re B1/B2 it’s like??? do i speak that language???

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Even with a bullet journal and weekend to-do list, I STILL MANAGED to forget about something I have to do for a class! Thankfully I don't have that class until Tuesday, but damn why am I like this lmao

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the end of august/beginning of september smells like a brimming cup of tea, new textbooks, and autumn slowly approaching

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september will be kind. september will be magical. september will bring the missing energy. september will be working towards our goals and self. september will be a month full of growth.