davidlikebowie-noturaccountant

[davidlikebowie-noturaccountant]

We love a season that starts with vic michaelis getting unjustly ground into dirt and ends with them earning all the glory

[davidlikebowie-noturaccountant]

[davidlikebowie-noturaccountant]

neil perry with glasses you'll always be famous to me

[davidlikebowie-noturaccountant]

Vaquero Leo. For anyone who needed it

[davidlikebowie-noturaccountant]

guys I can make anything about anderperry. every single thing. ever.

[davidlikebowie-noturaccountant]

speaking of peeing the bed it's been long enough that i can tell this story publicly. in high school i went to a party at some house with no adults, as you sometimes would, and at the end of the night like 10 people all clonked out together in the same bed. fully clothed, one of those teenage moments where you're like wow heehee how rule-breaking, because sure a lot of our parents wouldn't like us sleeping in a bed with a bunch of other teenagers and no adult supervision blah blah. fond memories. anyway.

i'm an extremely light sleeper, so i barely slept, and sometime around 6 am, i woke up to a girl totally panicking, very quietly, because she peed the bed in her sleep. and listen. this wasn't a group of mean kids by any measure. but there's no level of kindness or understanding in the world that will make peeing the bed when you're 17, surrounded by people you only sort of know, a gentle blow.

so i sat up and she was like "oh my god" and I signaled at her to be absolutely silent and I said I'd be right back. And I crawled over everyone and out of the bed like a stupid cat.

and the thing is, by senior year i wasn't getting bullied much anymore. i was generally pretty well liked by my peers, but, if this makes sense, people still didn't always expect very much from me. i was still figuring out how to mask (autistic) and i still often said or did something that made everyone remember i'm weird and they'd just be like "well. that's story for you. i guess." and for the most part i'd become pretty secure in that.

so what i'm saying is i had nothing to lose and this girl had everything to lose.

so i went downstairs and i made tomato soup. and by "made" i mean i put a whole can of tomato soup in a too-small mug and microwaved it until it was lukewarm so as to be convincingly "made" but not so hot to burn someone.

and then i walked back upstairs, and no longer like a cat, i clumsily "attempted" to crawl back into bed, loudly lost my balance, and spilled tomato soup all over the girl and her lap and several other people's laps and heads and the mattress.

everyone woke up confused and anguished and i was like, "oh my god, I'm so sorry. I just got really hungry and it's all i could find."

and everyone immediately accepted with absolutely no further questions that I would go downstairs, make tomato soup at 6 am,and bring it back to bed. everyone just begrudgingly climbed onto the floor and went back to sleep while I put the bedding right into the laundry.

i don't even know this girl's name. i only remembered this story recently because i'm in my hometown for a few months and recently a high school acquaintance said, "hey. do you remember spilling soup on everyone after prom? why did you do that?" and for a moment i genuinely did not and i stared at them completely dumbfounded while the memory loaded and then i started laughing too hard to answer for 2 minutes.

the best part is i can tell this story, and even if it reaches the people who were there, none of them will know which one of them peed the bed. thanks to tomato soup.

[davidlikebowie-noturaccountant]

this made me stare at the wall for a little while x

[art by de4dp0ethonor]

[davidlikebowie-noturaccountant]

“I was good, i was really good”

[davidlikebowie-noturaccountant]

If you're in the dps fandom and you hear piano man start playing just give up you're done for

[davidlikebowie-noturaccountant]

Evil Sam Reich be like:

I just got here

[davidlikebowie-noturaccountant]

Oh no the game changer episode got so much darker

[davidlikebowie-noturaccountant]

[davidlikebowie-noturaccountant]

Went to Catholic school my whole life and when I was 14 I had to do confirmation classes and since I went to school in a different diocese all the other kids had already done their confirmation and shit and it was weird as hell. I had to commute an hour home and then go to the basement of a church where I argued with the teacher all the time because he didn't actually understand philosophy, basically a protestant, very tragic.

Anyway part of the confirmation class was that I had to go to confession and so I went and I confessed all my sins or whatever but the next day my school also decided we needed to go to confession. So I'm waiting in the line for fuckin ever and then I get to the little confessional and I'm like "forgive me father for I've sinned it's been one day since my last confession" and the priest goes "huh?" And I explained the whole situation to him.

He asks where the hell I live and I tell him and he tells me he actually used to be a parish priest at one of the churches in town, and then he's asking me about priests he used to know and we get to talking about sandwich shops and restaurants and parks and it goes on for 10 minutes or so before we realize there's a whole line behind me so he tells me I don't gotta do anything and I leave.

The kid behind me in line grabs me as I walk past and goes "Dude what the fuck did you do?" And I almost told him what happened but I decided it would be funnier if I didn't so I was like "a lot lol" and he was like "do you gotta do like 10 hail Mary's now or something?" And I said "no it turns out if it's bad enough he just tells you you're going to hell, no contrition no nothing" and this kid was like Uber Christian and I think he felt bad for me forever because afterwards he was way nicer to me

[davidlikebowie-noturaccountant]

for anybody else who felt seen by ally's "gotta go" run during "earnest-est"

[davidlikebowie-noturaccountant]

mathew baynton. that’s it. that’s the post.

[davidlikebowie-noturaccountant]

youre not yaoiful at all

[davidlikebowie-noturaccountant]

*le sigh*

i have decided

that I must rely on Tumblr

not threatening at all

so, I set a goal for ye-

3500 Notes- I come out to my dad by text, only saying "I'm gay"

5000 Notes- I come out but in real life interaction, still only saying "I'm gay" (no elaboration)

6500 Notes- I come out in person, with elaboration on what flavour of gay I am

Setting myself to check back in on this post this Tuesday (26th Aug [y'all have 4 days, AEST])

i both hope it doesn't hit 3500 and also really hope it does

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