dc-and-damirae - Tumblr blog

[dc-and-damirae]

One thing about kids is that they will casually trauma dump to you and not bat an eye

Also sorry about the nothing burgers lately, I just prepping for the... next arc...

Prev / Index

Commission Info / Kofi

[dc-and-damirae]

Sometime in Gotham:

Jason Todd [on the phone]: How did the Joker die?

Damian Wayne [on the phone]: Cats ate his face.

Jason Todd: Damian, I think you’re confused. I’m asking about the Joker.

Damian Wayne: Cats ate his face.

Jason Todd: Look, would you just put Dick or Tim on the phone?

Dick Grayson: Hello?

Jason Todd: Dick, what happened to the Joker?

Dick Grayson: Cats ate his face. Here, Damian knows more about it than I do.

(Source: Malcolm in the Middle)

[dc-and-damirae]

-at a justice league meeting in the midst of a very very stressful few weeks for Batman where everything has gone wrong, alfred is on vacation, and Bruce has not slept in days-

Batman: -outstandingly still coherent, lays out an extremely detailed plan on how to take down the Villain Of The Week- Any questions?

Nightwing: -slowly raising his hand from across the table-

Batman: Yes?

Nightwing: So... in all of this planning did you block out time to go pick up Robin from school like you said you would, or do you want me to do that?

Batman: ...

Nightwing: I'd say we could just let walk home alone, but the last time you did that, we found him trying to dismantle a section of the Russian mafia about two hours after he was supposed to get home.

Batman: ...

Nightwing: And he gets out of school in -checks wrist like he's wearing a watch- ten minutes, so you might want to make a decision soon.

Batman: ...Fuck.

[dc-and-damirae]

Shoutout to Damian in the Injustice games for being stronger than me because if Bruce’s response to “A good father would make time” was “A good son would deserve it” I would simply crumple into a ball on the spot and give up.

[dc-and-damirae]

scabrously thinking about doing a batfam a star wars AU with accompanying fanart. I'm thinking Mandalorians but please give me ideas.

[dc-and-damirae]

The command structure / ranking of the Justice League is actually super hard to understand from the outside, if you think about it. How many times have alien diplomatic missions arrived to meet with them, only to struggle to pick out who they should direct their communications toward? Sure, you’ve got the Kryptonian, he’s big and flashy and recognizable across sectors. But there’s an Amazonian princess standing next to him who looks dangerous and speaks like a royal. You’ve got an Atlantean king behind her, also royal, also dangerous. You’ve got a Green Lantern of the Sector with trace ion signatures from all the recent battles in nearby galaxies, and then — then — you have a man in black, shadowy armor who doesn’t introduce himself, who doesn’t speak or negotiate unless the others falter, yet ever single one of them looks to him as the conversation proceeds — checking, assuring, looking for guidance etc. is he the leader, then?

[dc-and-damirae]

I love to see the Bats reacting to Hal not knowing who the he is out of mask (especially since he’s a LITERAL WORLDWIDE SENSATION), and everyone giving him shit for it, LIKE-

Bruce: Don’t you know who I am?

Hal: Um…

Bruce: Really? Nothing rings a bell? Bruce Wayne? Entrepreneur? Philanthropist?

Hal:…

Bruce: Billionare Playboy? Brucie Wayne?

Hal: …OH, now I remember you!

Bruce: *Sighs* Fu*king finally

Hal: Your that Serial Adopter!

Bruce, thoughts: MOTHER- -x- Clark: Why’s Batman so pissed off Hal, Scoffing: He’s just being a baby because I didn’t know who Bruce Wayne was. Can you believe it? Clark: You WHAT?! Hal: Oh COME ON! It’s not a big deal! -x- Barry: How the hell do you not know who Bruce WAYNE is?

Hal: Not you too Barry…

-x-

Dinah: Oliver literally talks shit about him almost everyday, Hal.

Oliver: Exactly! Do you not listen to me anymore? Did I become annoying to you? I’m hurt.

Hal: *Eye twitching* Oliver Queen, I swear to the UNIVERSE-

-x-

Diana:

J'onn:

Shayera:

Hal: EVEN YOU GUYS?

-x-

The Green Lanterns:

Hal: Shut it.

[dc-and-damirae]

I finally got caught up with the new nightwing

[dc-and-damirae]

The batkids would absolutely work together if they had news they needed to tell Bruce but didn’t know how. One of the batkids would put in the group chat that they needed help breacking news to Bruce and everyone would pull out their own story’s so Bruce can’t stress out about whatever it is that needed to be told to him. So like this:

Jason: ugh how do I tell Bruce I’m dating roy and he now has a grandchild.

Steph: Infodump?

Jason agreeing: infodump

Then all the batkids would give Bruce the most random piece of information he has no way of processing till later so he can’t focus on the fact he now has a gay son and a grandchild (gotta love Lian). Everyone would pull out the most random facts like;

Dick: remember when I was 12 and didn’t talk to you for a month and only slept in Alfred’s room? Yea well that’s because my pet hamster you didn’t know about died.

Damian: I first ever killed Someone when I was 2 years old and thew up peanuts on someone who had Anaphylaxis.

Duke: I used to have a red string board about Batman’s identity and I would have been right if it wasn’t for the fact the robins kept changing.

Cass: when I was homeless I broke into ever house in Gotham including Wayne manor.

Tim: *mentions literally anything that happened in yj98*

Babs: my fathers known you were Batman since before I was batgirl.

Steph: my first costume came from the scraps of fabric that my father used to try and make me his sidekick.

Bruce never knows how to prosess any of the information and thus never reacts negatively because there is always at least one piece of information he didn’t know that throws him off.

[dc-and-damirae]

Duke is the kind of guy whose entire life is a sidequest

He comes home late from patrol because a bunch of pythons at the zoo got loose and he could only lure them back with a flute Pied Piper style

He got the flute from his language-learning buddy in Japan

He is learning Japanese after he had difficulty communicating with a civilian who witnessed someone stealing a combine harvester

The only reason he was in the countryside to investigate that case was because he needed a horse to win a race

A race he's in because he signed up for the wrong thing when he really meant to enter a robot wrestling tournament

The robot, of course, being a trophy of his first solo battle against Lex Luthor

And he was only there because he had box tickets to a Metropolis baseball game

Which he got in a raffle that his friends entered him in without telling him

Because he got them all a gold medal at the science fair by bringing real moon rocks

That he gathered after he accidentally launched himself into space

[dc-and-damirae]

grabs moots gently

HAS ANY OF YOU LISTENED TO EPIC THE MUSICAL I NEED TO TALK/RANT ABOUT IT PLEASEEEEEE

[dc-and-damirae]

grabs moots gently

HAS ANY OF YOU LISTENED TO EPIC THE MUSICAL I NEED TO TALK/RANT ABOUT IT PLEASEEEEEE

[dc-and-damirae]

scabrously thinking about doing a batfam a star wars AU with accompanying fanart. I'm thinking Mandalorians but please give me ideas.

[dc-and-damirae]

marvel lgbtqia+: as happy as possible, colorful, married/stable dating, powerful, half of the new generation, shapeshifters, the fucking king of the fucking space, gods

dc lgbtqia+: clone-obsessed, high school dropout, traumatized, have guns, no therapy, dating sharks, crazy villain lesbians

[dc-and-damirae]

imagine being Oliver Queen and thinking you had exclusive rights to the “billionaire secret vigilante who disappeared for several years and came back trained to save his city” background. and then one day, Batman’s mask finally slips (or, more likely, he let it slip) and Oliver has to go walk it off because what. Bruce did the same thing as him? except he founded the Justice League on top of it all like the smug overachiever he secretly always was, that motherfucker—

[dc-and-damirae]

Dont come to New Jersey. Just don’t.

[dc-and-damirae]

You can pry my "Jason and Damian met in the League and formed a bond stronger and more serious than the rest of the batfam can even comprehend" headcannon out of my cold dead hands