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inspired (day ii) ♡ 171210 (watch full) happy birthday © p. reason (do not edit or remove logo)

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That was all I ever had to keep me going, the thought of you.

Nicholas A Browne (via quotemadness)

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the music video “빛이나 (shinin’)”, the title track for poet | artist, has official been released. to begin: please do not download and upload the music video to any other youtube channel as the views will be important in helping to bring in potential wins on music shows next week. if you do not feel like you are ready to watch the video yet: you are not obligated to and do not feel bad for not being able to do so. take your time with it. you can help to spread word of the release around in other ways, such as: reblogging this post, sharing the link to the video on social media, etc. for people who do plan on watching it: please see this post for a tutorial on how to raise views.

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poet | artist released: 1/23/18 1. 빛이나 (shinin) (title track) lyrics: kim jonghyun composition: kim jonghyun, megatone, score arrangement: kim jonghyun, megatone, score 2. 환상통 (only one you need) lyrics: kim jonghyun composition: blizman, christian paris, daniel klien, kendrick dean arrangement: blasian chris, jakob mihoubi, g.bliz, kendrick dean, mzmc, rudi daouk 

3. 와플 (#hashtag) lyrics: kim jonghyun composition: kim jonghyun, imlay, jin soh arrangement: kim jonghyun, imlay, jin soh 4. 기름때 (grease) lyrics: kim jonghyun composition: kim jonghyun, jake k. arrangement: kim jonghyun, jake k. 5. take the dive lyrics: so ji eum composition: christian fast, ellen berg tollbom, marcus lindberg, royal dive arrangement: royal dive 6. 사람 구경 중 (sightseeing) lyrics: kim jonghyun composition: kim jonghyun, jake k., jin soh arrangement: kim jonghyun, jake k., jin soh 7. rewind lyrics: kim jonghyun composition: kim jonghyun, imlay arrangement: kim jonghyun, imlay 8. 하루만이라도 (just for a day) lyrics: jeon gandi  composition: chris wahle arrangement: chris wahle 9. 어떤 기분이 들까 (i’m so curious) lyrics: kim jonghyun composition: kim jonghyum, imlay, jin arrangement : kim jonghyum, imlay, jin 10. sentimental lyrics: kim jonghyun composition: kim jonghyun, jake k arrangement: kim jonghyun, jake k 11. 우린 봄이 오기 전에 (before our spring) lyrics: kim jonghyun composition: kim jonghyun, wefreaky arrangement: kim jonghyun, wefreaky

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a rainbow roll cake made him this happy…

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(151030) @realjonghyun90: i came home after work, but coming back to an empty space makes me feel like i’m not back home. perhaps for me home is somewhere noona, mom and roo stays. i miss them. (source: thatcoolcatmeow) [note: jonghyun mentioned on blue night that his mom and sister are currently on holiday in europe.]

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a snippet of the infamous “even cockroaches have lovers, but not me” - in it’s fulled subbed glory. (featured on yoo hee yeol’s sketchbook, which aired january 24th, 2015.) (source)

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to early emphasis: dear cloud’s nine has confirmed that she was asked by jonghyun to post his final note before passing to fans. she has also confirmed that she was given the blessing from his family to share it with the world. you can find confirmation of this here. below will be proper triggers for this post as it is not easy to read. i will also leave nine’s comment that she left on her post as it is important in regards to why she was asked to post it. if you feel that i have missed any please do not hesitation message me on my personal blog (jaekyung) and i will add them as quickly as i am able to. also thank you to sonexstella for translating. —- trigger warning(s): death tw, depression tw, suicide ideation tw, suicide tw nine: i said my final goodbye with jonghyunnie. even after seeing his smiling portrait of the deceased, it still feels like jonghyunnie will come to me and smile as if all of this was a dream. starting from awhile back, jonghyunnie told me his dark and deep internal stories. i think each day was very difficult for him. i kept having uneasy thoughts so i made it known to his family and tried my hardest to capture his heart but it only ended up postponing time and i could not block his last (action). i still cannot believe he is not in this world and it’s so painful. i’m still afraid, not knowing if it’s the right thing to upload these words but jonghyun himself asked me to please upload these words if he disappeared from this world. i wished this day would never come … after discussing with his family i am uploading his final note, according to his last wishes. i think that there must be a reason why he left this up to me. i worry that there will be controversy. however, i think that he predicted this and asked me, so i decided that i will do the one last thing i can do for jonghyunnie. i hope everyone knows now that jonghyun was not alone and that he worked hard … that he did really well … please thank him for withstanding well … beautiful jonghyun, i really love you a lot. going forward, i will love you a lot. in that place, please don’t be in pain and i hope you will be peaceful … —- i am broken from the inside. depression that slowly ate away at me ended up swallowing me. i couldn’t beat it. i hated myself. i held onto memories that have died out and, even though i shouted to snap out of it, there was no response. if suffocating breaths will not open up it’s better instead to stop. i asked who can take responsibility for myself. it’s you. i was completely alone. it’s easy to say you’ll end it. it’s hard to end it. i lived up to now admist that difficulty. you said i wanted to run away. that’s right. i wanted to run away. from myself. from you. i asked who was there. i said it was me. again, it was me. and once again, it was me. i asked why i kept losing memories. it’s my personality. i see. in the end, it’s all my fault. i hoped someone would notice, but no one knew. never met me, so of course, no one knew i was there. i asked why i was living. just. just. everyone just lives. if i asked why someone would die, you would say you’re exhausted. i suffered from concern. i never learned how to change tiresome pains into joy. pain is just pain. i urged myself not to be like that. why? why can’t i end it according to my own will? i tried to find out why i was in pain. i knew too well. i am in pain because of myself. it’s all because it’s my fault and because i’m foolish. teacher, did you want to hear these words? no. i did nothing wrong. when he blamed my personality with a quiet voice i thought it was so easy to be a doctor. it’s fascinating to see why i’m in this much pain. people who have more hardships than i do live well. people who are weaker than me live well. maybe that’s not it. of people who are alive, there is no one who has more hardships than i do, and who is weaker than i am. despite this, i was told to live. i asked why this is the case a hundred times, and it’s never for me. it’s for you. i wanted it to be for me. please don’t say things you don’t know. find out why it’s difficult. i told you many times why it’s difficult for me. with that, is it not possible for it to be this difficult? does there need to be more concrete drama? are you wanting more of a story? i already told you. did you not pay attention? what i can overcome doesn’t leave a scar. colliding with the world must not have been my fate. being known to the world must not have been my life. that’s why everything was difficult. colliding, and being known was difficult. why did i chose that. it’s a funny incident. it’s commendable that i was able to withstand up to this point. what more can i say? just tell me i worked hard. that i did a good job. that i went through a lot. even if you can’t smile, please don’t send me off in blame. you worked hard. you went through a lot. goodbye.

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inspired (day ii) ♡ 171210 © fp (do not edit or remove logo)

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© ideal boy 🌙 do not modify. (1 / 2)

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Is there anyone out there, from our Blue Night family, that is crying alone tonight? Not crying out of pity for something or someone, but instead because they cannot help asking why they are living in the way that they are? Is there anyone that is feeling sentimental or guilty, needlessly? Don’t be like that. I hope that you believe that these bitter days of crying alone will prove to be the most beautiful days of your life. You’ll realize, with time, that your life is actually pretty alright. I promise you. In fact, I’ll write you a guarantee! The most beautiful thing in all the world is right now. This moment. You. Don’t ever forget that.

Jonghyun’s closing words on ‘Blue Night’ on the 11th March, 2014.  (via hwaitinghwaiting)

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Don’t start your posts with “Oh I’m not a fan but-”

Doesn’t matter if you knew of him or not. Don’t make this about you. This is about a talented guy, a sweet and strong one that openly supported minorities, spoke up on behalf of people that have mental disorders, advocated for the LGBT community… All that while living in a society that keeps on ignoring said issues, treating them like they don’t exist. This is about a brave man that defended people that suffered from mental illnesses with his all, and as we can tell today it’s also because of how he knew what they were going through. Respect him, think about his good actions and how he did make a difference while he could. How he touched many lives. Understand that the routine idols are forced to endure have consequences. Stop ignoring that the industry is hurting these people, pay attention to what they’re really saying. Pay attention to how the companies are treating their artists. And please remind yourself that it honestly doesn’t matter if they’re constantly smiling - you don’t know how they’re truly feeling. Please, please take mental health seriously and take the time to be kind to others.

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blue night radio ♡ 151118 jonghyun: happiness…, i’ve wondered a lot about what this thing called “happiness” is. it seems to be a word that’s stimulated much through for me. anyway, i hope that everyone around me will be happy, including the people who hate me. (source: cosmicsticks)

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monthly live connection (episode two) ♡ 151014 [translation of letter of baby jonghyun] happy birthday. mom, i want to do you good but, with my ability, i won’t be able to get awards. i can’t get any awards but i’ll try my best. mom, i love you so much. (source: dustypixie718)

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(171219) @shinee: jonghyun. who loved music more than anybody, enjoyed the stage, the greatest artist who liked communicating with his fans through music. we will always remember you. (source: oh_mes)

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blue night radio ♡ 150904 jonghyun shared a recent conversation that he had with his mom and kakaotalk. [the conversation] mama kim: what do you think are three good things that you have inherited from me? jonghyun: voice, thoughts, height. mama kim: then, what is that you’ve inherited from me that you think is lacking? jonghyun: nothing. jonghyun: it’s important to converse without losing each other. (source: cosmicsticks)