dearawele-blog

[dearawele-blog]

Awele, honestly I’ve been unsure of coming on this your so called advice platform. But I need all da help I can get. I’m trying to trap this man with a baby what’s the best methodz x

Dear Traphouse,

This is never the answer. If you feel you need to go to such lengths to keep a guy then I’m afraid you’ve already lost him. I’ll suggest you work on yourself instead, you are more than enough.

[dearawele-blog]

Hi Awele, I am currently in a relationship, which is at this stage long distance. I have had issues with anxiety for a very long time, and this made my previous relationship (5 years ago) extremely difficult. I love and respect my current boyfriend and do not want to make any of those same mistakes. However, at times I feel myself getting slightly anxious over little things (such as him not replying for a significant amount of time). Any method I can use to control these feelings?

Hey love,

What I will first suggest is, determine what causes your anxiety when it comes to him. It might be trust, you might not be sure he’s the one for you, or it could be any other thing. You have to figure out what your triggers and let your partner know.

Long distance can be difficult but for your relationship to work you have to establish trust as your foundation. For example, if you trusted him, if he doesn't respond to your message for a significant period of time, you can assume he's just busy and not blowing you off. These things are tricky tho.

I downloaded an app to help deal with my anxiety whenever I begin to feel overwhelmed, its called “#SelfCare” and its completely free on the app store. There’s great breathing exercises and other crafty tools to help. It also has an inbuilt journal. I find that writing my feelings out usually help me. You could try these methods and let me know if it worked for you.

[dearawele-blog]

I caught My bf having inappropriate conversations with multiple women might as well say cheating verbally...he apologized and I forgave him and we moved on. He has friends that's females but every time they dm I just have a gut feeling he still has those old ways I dont wanna feel like I cant trust him but my womens intuition always kicks in what should I do

Hey lovely, This is completely understandable as he broke your trust. Emotional cheating can be very hurtful especially when not hashed out properly. Because cheating is cheating. Take your time, there's no hurry for you to trust him immediately, as trust is earned. But at the same time build yourself up, focus on a hobby and keep yourself busy so your thoughts aren't constantly wandering. This way you build useful skills and grow yourself while actively avoiding thoughts that could trigger anxiety. You should have a talk to him about this and let him know he really has hurt you and you will need time. If he refuses to understand and earn your trust back then I think you'll be better off with someone who isn't giving you anxiety. You are a star.

[dearawele-blog]

Hi Awele, thanks in advance for your response. My dilemma is, my boyfriend responds to my “good morning” texts with “you fucking woke me up” I love him… but he isnt treating me right… what do I do?

Wow. He sounds rude, he doesn't respect you. A person who really loves you will respect you. If he isn’t treating you right I will tell you to tell him exactly that. Let him know if he doesn't fix his attitude toward you immediately, he will lose you. And if he still refuses to change, I say leave him. I know it’s not the easiest thing to walk away from someone you love but what I have learned is, you need to love yourself first, respect yourself. No one has the right to disrespect you, so don't give him a chance to.

[dearawele-blog]

Hello Awele, I recently started dating this guy I've had a crush on for months. About some days ago he started asking me for nude pictures and I didn't mind sending one or two tasteful pictures. But then he has started asking for videos of me touching myself. I'm not comfortable with doing that. How do i tell him I'm not down with that without causing a fight or upsetting him? I don't want to ruin our relationship.

Hello sweetheart,

Thank you for writing in. Well there is one thing I want to tell you. Be confident in your decisions. If you aren’t comfortable with that then I believe you should say so. If he respects you he’ll understand. Don’t feel pressured to do something you don't want just so you can avoid upsetting your partner. You will not cause a fight or ruin your relationship by simply stating you’re not comfortable with what he’s asking. And if indeed he becomes upset at you for that then he isn’t the right man for you.

[dearawele-blog]

Sometimes society makes it feel like being alone is the worst thing in the world. When infact, most of us feel alone from time to time. It’s okay to feel alone, it’s normal.

[dearawele-blog]

Dear Awele, my partner and I have been sort of together for a couple months now yet he refuses to admit that we are official. My friends keep telling me it's because he's stringing me along but I know he has real feelings for me and he is just scared of labels. How do I ask him what we are without sounding desperate?

Hello,

It sounds to me like you are making excuses for him. If a man wants to be with you he would say so very openly to you. You wouldn’t have to wonder about where you stand with him. He may be ‘scared’ of labels but always remember, men change for the person they perceive as the one. If he is refusing to admit that you are in an official relationship, it’s probably because you aren’t in one. Talk to your partner, let him know where you stand. Let him know you want to be in an official relationship with him. That’s where to start the conversation.

[dearawele-blog]

Dear Awele,I have been fighting with my friends for a while because they always leave me out of stuff. Please help

Dear Anonymous,

Good to hear from you. Friendships are difficult, and complicated. How about talking to your friends straight out about how they make you feel. Let them know you feel left out.