deathreversed

[deathreversed]

It takes a fair amount of willpower for Nier to not simply state her fears outright: "Don't abandon me." The worry already gnaws at her, but if she's left alone in this place with those strange, twitchy things while her fear overflows, she doesn't know what she'd do. She doesn't know what she'd have to do if Fern rejects her.

But the rejection doesn't come, and so no one needs to worry about it. Her whole body relaxes as Fern invites her along, and she nods.

"Y-yes, If you have a plan then it's better than anything I had. Planning ahead isn't really my strength, I guess... But I don't mind just following you."

Being a follower can be a flaw at most times, but as long as she survives this ordeal Nier doesn't really mind. Besides, Fern doesn't seem the type to betray her or anything. And if she does, then it's a good thing that Nier has access to her full magical abilities at this time. In fact, such a thing could circumvent the need for stealth at all, per Fern's concerns. Why bother sneaking when Death is on her side?

"Well, I'm not really worried about enemies or anything, if that's your concern... My magic usually puts an end to fighting very quickly."

ʚїɞ - Fern knew that in trying times like this that she had to work a little harder. Not when it came to fighting, that she could do just fine. But she had to try and be a little better at reassuring others. She gave Nier a little smile as if to say "it'll be okay", but she immediately questioned if it actually came off like that or if she'd just come off as slightly unsettling instead.

If Nier wanted to come along, that at least made things a little easier. "Then why don't we try and hold out there for now? There's food and water, and apparently the librarian has fortified it. She's just waiting for me to show up." They could check and then leave too, but she had to think about the erune's safety.

She stopped and looked back at Nier's face again, though. "There could be a potential problem, though. If these things are gathering where people are, they could be outside. I know of a tunnel route in, but there's also no guarantee we can slip in unseen." They'd need to seal it once they passed through, too.

[deathreversed]

Nier's not sure why so many people are asking her that. Is there something wrong with her that she hasn't realized? It's nice to be worried about, but if there is some kind of issue she isn't aware of...

"Um, I think I'm okay... It was stressful, but not moreso than some of the things I've had to deal with back home... If anything, things are less worrisome here, because you can never die. But I guess that wasn't really something I had to worry about before, either..."

Her ears flick for a moment. "Um, but... Do I look okay? So many people have been asking if I'm alright... I don't feel poorly, but do I look sick or something...?"

▣ "I see... I think." None of that sounded very good, did it? She already had so much to learn back home, but now it seemed that Serra had plenty to understand about this city, too. "Were you okay then? You seem to be unharmed, but some injuries go beyond the surface level." Not that she was approved to provide therapy. Or medical attention in general.

[deathreversed]

She recognizes one of those words, but not the other. It wouldn't be the first time someone's asked her that question, but it's an odd comfort to know that there are people like her across the myriad worlds.

"Miqo'te..." she echoes, ears flicking. "That's from... Eorzea, right? I'm not from there myself, but I knew a young man who was, and he told me about some of the things from that world. He made it sound like such a pretty place... I wish I could've seen it for myself..."

A small, sad smile settles on her lips. That must been a few years ago, now.

"Ah, anyways... I'm an erune. I've met a few other miqo'te in my time here, so I understand the confusion, but I don't have a tail. The other word you used, hhetsarro... I don't know that one, what does it mean?"

His ears flick as he tilts his head, "I have been here before, so I recognize that you may not be neither miqo'te nor hhetsarro. But I would also be remiss in not asking if you are either." Particularly if she were hhetsarro. She did not fit the bill entirely, but neither did he, being raised by his father as he was.

"I am, myself, hhetsarro, but I was not raised among them."

@deathreversed

[deathreversed]

"Well, that's just not... realistic, is it? Love like that is just in books. Not that that's a bad thing, it's just... Well, I guess it's nice to think about."

"Dying didn't really stop me, but I guess it doesn't work that way for everyone... Agree to disagree, I suppose..."

"I...don't think that's the sort of romance I'm looking for! I want something light...something fluffy! Something that...seems a little too good to be true!"

"Oh, but I'm not shaming! I just think someone dying might be a little too traumatic, y'know? Gets in the way!"

[deathreversed]

"That" bad. Which means she does look bad.

Nier clenches her jaw for a moment; Is it her pale skin? Her sunken eyes? The aura of death that surrounds her? So many people have told her how beautiful she is, but now people are wondering after her health and she's not sure why. It's nice that people are concerned, but she doesn't need it.

"Well, it's... I imagine most of the people here are going through something similar, maybe even yourself. It was to do with the last experiment that was run, with all those distorted NPCs. I just..."

After a few moments of deliberation, Nier decides there's no softer way to say it. So she sighs and shrugs before looking back to the other girl.

"I died a few times. It's happened before, but never so many times in quick succession... And I think it might be making my partner upset. On one hand, she has me all to herself when I die, but she'd also rather I was physically there... So it's just complicated, I guess..."

she startles slightly at the look of irritation but otherwise looks completely unbothered by the reaction she gets. nothing she hasn't seen before from humans in the past— or even the other citizens here.

"oh , you don't look that bad! but you do look a little tired... and like something is on your mind, i guess." she presses a hand to her chest. "i've only been here for a little bit, but if there's something i can do to help you re-adjust please tell me! i'll even just be a listening ear if you need it."

[deathreversed]

"I'm honestly... Not really sure. I guess it seemed like a sickness, but it only affected the NPCs of the city. It twisted their appearances and made them all very aggressive. And then it just ended... Like you blinked your eyes, and everything was back to normal. I don't really understand, but that's just how things are around here. I guess it's good that you missed it, it wasn't very pleasant..."

▣ "Outbreak? Like a virus?" Serra didn't have an immune system and she liked to think she wasn't susceptible to computer viruses.

"No, I'm afraid I wasn't present for an event like that. Did everyone just stop being sick all of a sudden?"

[deathreversed]

There's just some things that you can find for sale in Fibonacci that aren't available anywhere else. Items exchanges furtively, traded for in hushed tones. Nobody asks why, they just exchange goods and pretend they don't know each other. That suits Nier fine. She'd rather be-

Her train of thought is tossed from the rails as a young girl inserts herself into her path. Her eyes flick to the side for a moment before her expression relaxes into something approaching irritation.

"You're... the third person to ask me that this week," she sighs. "Do I really look so unwell? Nothing's really wrong with me, I don't think..."

She hasn't been sleeping well, but that isn't anything new in this city. And she has all sorts of concerns weighing her heart down, but she's used to that as well. Is that just her default state now? Someone who looks so sickly that strangers approach her out of sheer concern?

Nier sighs again, and forces a weak smile. "I appreciate your concern, but I'm alright... Just... re-adjusting after all the things that happened in the city, I suppose. Nothing to be worried about."

starter for @deathreversed

the darkness of the ground level was really nice— a little something that gave her comfort when she couldn't quite visit the home that she loved. the people on the other hand.... they didn't seem to take nicely to pleasantries. of course, that didn't stop veyle from greeting everyone who took notice of her.

however, there is one face that catches her attention. a beautiful young girl with.... were those cat ears? a strange aspect of her appearance glossed over rather quickly for the distressed expression on her face and bags under her eyes.

veyle, of course, approaches immediately.

"excuse me, is everything alright?" a pause, then another consideration. "you're not hurt, are you...?"

[deathreversed]

It always comes back to love. That precious thing always kept from her, that hole in her chest that begs for filling, that hunger never sated no matter what she does. She's killed for it, died for it, and it always seems to escape her.

No, that's not entirely true. Nier has loved, and she is loved. Back in the Sky Realm, she has Lyria, Vyrn, and her dear captain. Three people she would do anything for, and who she knows would do the same for her. She knows that's love, and she felt at peace back home, but without them, that balm is missing. People here care for her, and she cares for them, but is it the same? So few people know the truth of what she did, so how can she be sure they would feel the same afterwards?

Well, Mika didn't reject her, but...

"I-I don't know... It's only recently that I've begun to see that love is- or, it should be equal..." she says, her voice still shaking. "I used to look for anyone who would accept me, but it only ever made things worse... But once I finally found someone I could be equals with, someone who would accept every part of me... I ended up here."

Her mind begins to drift to a dangerous nostalgia. Scenes of blue skies, replicated stars, and blood-red roses. The feel of the captain's hand wrapped around hers, the beating of their heart, the warmth of their smile. All things taken from her, and only the knowledge that she will, she must find those things again gives her the strength to continue. And while Nier clings to the kindness of Cherie's words, she also knows that words can be hollow.

"...But is it wrong to lie? Sometimes a lie can make people happy, just like how the truth can make them miserable," says Nier. Her hand reaches up, holding Cherie's hand against her cheek. "There was a time where I'd accept any of those honeyed lies, just because the truth would always hurt... I'd accept a fake love over a real rejection. All those men, all those promises... And yet, when I visited that hurt on them, they made me out to be the bad person..."

Nier closes her eyes, a thousand venomous confessions threatening to tumble from her lips. "If I lied to Mika, maybe I could've been happy, eventually. Maybe we could've lived and loved in a blissful lie... Or maybe not. Maybe that would be thinking too little of her..."

She finally lets go of Cherie's hand, her eyes returning to their typical glassiness. She recalls the memories from months ago that are not quite hers- recollections of the worker drone that called itself Nier, and how she wanted to prove the love between herself and Mika via consumption, by literally becoming one.

Nier can understand that, that desire to make someone yours and yours alone by bloody consummation. Maybe she should've done that with Mika. No, death isn't permanent here, it wouldn't have worked.

"Yes, she does surround me," murmurs Nier. "And I'd never forget that. And I love her too, because she showed me what love really is... She was the first one, actually..."

Nier's ears flutter for a moment, and she looks up at Cherie. "O-oh, I'm sorry, I haven't really introduced you, have I? It must sound odd, to hear me talking like that... Cherie, this is Death."

Black fog pours from her body, rising up in the air and coalescing into Death's lithe form. "I did not want to interrupt, my beloved... But knowing the pain in your heart pains me, as well..."

The primal beast laces her arms around Nier's shoulders, resting her head against the erune's.

"Death is the first one who ever showed me real acceptance," says Nier. "And she freed me from my family, too... So I'm not worried about deserving love, it's just... Why can't I get what I want?"

The moment Nier took Cherie's offer, she immediately obtained all of their attention; and although their touch was perhaps unexpected, it was not immediately rejected by the girl, so they continued to hold on to her hand. The story started off slow, steady; only the slightest hints of emotions showing through her voice, the way her chest heaved with sigh. But the more she spoke, the more they began to consume her; pulling tears from her eyes, breaking apart her words with sob, filling her with grief that broke Cherie's heart to witness.

Yet they remained silent through each and every admittance-- only making movements that they hoped would comfort Nier, even in small ways. When her voice first started to waver, their hold around her palm became less tentative; now strong, and sure, as their fingers threaded through her own. A squeeze was given, as a thumb ran over hers; an assurance that they would not be going anywhere, so long as they were needed.

And when she neared the end, as her cheeks began to be stained with tears, Cherie reached up to brush some hair out of Nier's face; their expression muted, almost placid.. yet the look in their eyes showed what they truly felt. Care, compassion, understanding.

In their words, they hoped Nier would hear those things, even if they were almost too strong to be present on their face.

"I don't believe you should accept love simply for the sake of having it.." it was hard to pick through, exactly, what Nier may have needed to hear first. Her heart was broken in so many ways-- too many for someone as loving as she was. Above all, however, was her fear to never be given the opportunity again, should she not take it from someone she did not feel the same for. "To be loved.. that is something indescribable. I have watched it very easily consume the lives of living beings of thousands of years.. but the want of it, the need, can also be destructive if you consume it in a way that is not right for you."

"Must you love your friend, just because she loves you? Does your heart feel the same way for her as it does the one who left you? What is wrong with simply loving her as a friend; enjoying your time with her, living by her side, exploring this world together? Perhaps your feelings will change someday, Nier. Perhaps hers will as well.. but that is okay. You will still always care for one another, even if it is in different ways. The mere act of that, the mere fact that you have one another in your lives-- that, in itself, is love. You are not someone who rejects it just because the way you express it is in a different way than she may have wished."

Cherie's voice was usually an airy tone-- one that matched their entire being, as someone who could float among the clouds themselves.. yet in this moment, the sound that left them was strong. Unwavering, confident almost; as if Nier's experience had been one they had witnessed time, and time again.

"Above all, you must mend your broken heart, first. If you accepted her confession now, just to fill the hole that person left.. could you truly love her in the way she desires? Would that be right? Would either of you be happy, or would you simply be lying to her, and yourself?"

Gingerly, Cherie pulled their hand away from Nier's face; reaching into the pocket of their sweater to pull out a white handkerchief. Lace embroidered the sides, while the middle was incredibly soft to the touch; using that, instead, to gently dab away the tears burning into her skin.

"It's alright to be scared.. to have this confusion consume you so. But this is not the end for you. This will not be the only time you experience the love you long for. Though friends I have met here left.. I did not get the chance to know them as well as the person you wished to confess to.. so I cannot fully understand your pain, but I see it in you. I know it is real.. just as real as the love imbedded into your very soul. That is why I know she won't be the last person to share her feelings with you, because it surrounds your very being."

".. but perhaps, for now.. you should shower yourself with that love, before choosing to do so with someone else. You are deserving of it just as much as the people you long to share it with."

[deathreversed]

"I am the primal beast of death. Nothing lies beyond my grasp, because everything must die eventually... Eventually, everything ends, yet death is a cycle... What ends will begin again, eventually..." Death murmurs. With those words, she fades away, dissipating in a cloud of black fog while Nier winces.

"Her presence feels... a bit weaker," she says. "Maybe it's just my imagination, but..."

It's not particularly important right now, she decides. Instead, Nier looks as Ereshkigal presents the two bottles to her, tilting her head at the contents. While she has a decent knowledge of medicine, being forced to take care of herself in her illness, she knows that what she feels now is something wholly unknown. Without knowing exactly what is wrong, she can't find what the cure would be, and she can already feel the poison eating away at her again.

"I-I don't know either..." she says, clutching at her arms. "I'm not really familiar with medicines like these... I know these dosages can be sensitive, but that's about all I know."

Why are there two? Why are they so similar? Why haven't the Stars said anything about this? They don't usually hide their twisted experiments like this, so what in the world is going on?

Nier shakes her head at Ereshkigal's question. "No, she doesn't have abilities like that. She controls death, so she can kill things or bring them back to life, and that's it, more or less..."

She takes the two bottles, looking at both of them in turn. Without knowing which one is the right one, there's only one thing that comes to mind. Sighing, she uncaps the first one and raises it to her lips, draining it as quickly as she dares. The empty bottle tumbles from her hand, bouncing off the tiles as she coughs at the bitter flavor, and she opens the second as well. This one has an overwhelming menthol flavor, and Nier falls to her knees, her body wracked with a coughing fit.

Some blood flies from between her fingers, and she reaches out for Ereshkigal with her free hand.

"I-I don't know... B-but it hurts right now..." she whines. "It hurts..."

It was unfortunately pretty obvious that this was done intentionally. Between everything that led to this moment and the randomness of the "creatures" that roamed around the city Ereshkigal was pretty confident in her guess. And the last thing the goddess wanted was for more people to be involved, even if that had become practically impossible given how far the situation had escalated.

And the subsequent reaction towards Nier's sudden death almost drove her to a state of despair, even as the one who would've commanded the erune's soul into the afterlife. But the sudden recollection of her "primal beast" and their powers caused her eyes to relax, breathing a sigh of relief that her friend wasn't completely dead.

...One could argue that she did just die. But the resurrection should've been taken into account just as the events leading up to it.

"I-It's fine. I just didn't think I'd see what your powers actually were in person." Nor did she want to see it. Still there were pressing matters at hand as Ereshkigal held out two liquid containers of similar color.

"While everything else was trashed in here I found these. They don't smell or look bad by any means but I'm not too sure if they are actually the antidote or not. Nor can I really confirm if this is going to do more harm to your body or not."

It felt as if she wasn't pulling her own weight. But the only real "alchemist" she knew wasn't here at the moment. And without drinking it herself it seemed like it was going to stay that way.

"There's no way Death could do it for you can they?"

[deathreversed]

"It's probably not a great time for that, then... Some big... outbreak thing just ended, I heard it was very traumatic for some people. I didn't think it was that bad, personally, but I guess it's a matter of perspective... Did you get caught up in it too?"

▣ "Oh. Well, Adonai always says I'm not very good at reading people yet."

"That's good then. I don't like seeing people sad."

[deathreversed]

@witchoftrinity

"So I was poisoned, but Death was able to bring me back after I died. It didn't cure the poison, but we were able to find a cure eventually... I guess we got lucky, not much else happened to us... I guess that's what happens when you spend time with a death goddess."

The word Nier would use is unusual, if she were asked to describe the past few weeks. Not stressful, not traumatic, not even scary. Just unusual. And now things were back to normal, like always they always ended up being. There was no point in ever worrying about the weird events that happened in Spirale, because they would end before long, and people would just mention it in passing like a rainstorm that had happened last week.

She twirls her fork and brings some pasta up to her mouth. It's surprisingly sweet, but she doesn't dislike it. The variety of worlds means lots of opportunities to try new foods. And in this case, it's also a good excuse to spend time with a friend. By now, Nier feels that the awkwardness has passed, and she's missed seeing Mika. It would be nice to get back to normal again.

"Did anything happen to you?" she says, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin. "I've heard some people say they had a very difficult time... I hope it wasn't that bad for you, Mika."

[deathreversed]

"Well, since the Stars won't let people stay dead here, you'll just wake up in your room later on... So it's not really a big deal."

"And the tragedy is the point... They definitely won't forget it, right? So in a way, you'll always be together..."

"Dying in someone's arms is so tragic, though! How am I supposed to be with them if they're dead!?"

[deathreversed]

"Why does everyone keep saying that..."

"Nothing's the matter, at least not right now... Do I look troubled, or something? I swear this is just how I normally look..."

@deathreversed

▣ "You seem to be awfully gloomy, miss. Is something the matter?"

[deathreversed]

"I don't have the best luck in this place..." she sighs. "It wouldn't surprise me if some of them were still here..."

There is a part of Nier that thinks it might be cathartic if the pixies are corrupted; no one would think twice if she cut them down then. The last time she tried, someone caught her in the act and she felt poorly enough about it that she stopped. Not out of guilt, of course, she's just not fond of witnesses. But at least they won't have to worry about any massive glitched beasts tearing out from the trees. Nier half-expected to hear roaring from somewhere in the forest, not Fern's assurance that they wouldn't have to worry about the librarian.

"Oh, well... That's good, at least. I'm happy we can have a little good news, though we're not exactly safe yet..."

There's something about Fern's words that put her on edge, because it sounds like she's planning on abandoning her at some point. "Oh, um, I'm not going to get in the way or anything like that, I promise... Even if we can't use it all the time, my magic is strong, so I wouldn't be a burden..."

She steps a little closer, clasping her hands together. If nothing else, she just doesn't want to be left alone, and having someone give her direction is a relief. "I can come with you to make sure she's safe... And after that, we can... go north, I think? It's safer that way, that's what I heard someone say... And wouldn't it be safer to travel together?"

ʚїɞ - The pixies were quick and tricky. If they'd been corrupted then would those talents carry over? Without seeing one in person it was hard to say, but she thoughtfully nodded when Nier mentioned "Death" taking care of them. She just assumed the erune was planning on killing them without knowing "Death" was something else entirely.

"Its also possible the pixies have left the forest, assuming they... aren't in their right minds." Assuming they'd maybe chased some regular people out. She still had her magic for now, so Fern wasn't that worried.

"The draken woman? She's fine." Fern was quick to dismiss Nier's concerns by pulling out her phone. "I've been texting her. She's locked herself in one of the store rooms for the time being. The reason I wanted to come out this way in the first place was to check on her, but we should get you somewhere else first." The mage maybe spent a little too much time in that library.

[deathreversed]

"Hurt? I guess so... But this kind of thing has happened to me a lot, so maybe I've become used to it, in a way. Now that I think about it, I'm not a very lucky person... So many people in this city that I knew and cared about have left, but I'm still here..." She presses a hand to her chest and sighs again. "Perhaps it's selfish, but I can't help but wish they were still here, sometimes."

Around them, the city moves on, unheeding. At times, Nier has wondered about the NPCs that inhabit Spirale- Do they have lives like she does? Do they have hopes, dreams, fears, loves? When they go home to sleep, do they stare up at the ceiling and wonder of what could have been? Do they fear for their lives? Do they live? Sometimes, it feels as if Nier is simply drifting from day to day.

Her ears flutter and a slight pink tints her pale cheeks as Cherie's hand finds hers, but she doesn't pull away. "I... I'd like that. The girl who confessed to me, she's my closest friend here, but obviously I can't really talk with her about it... And there's someone else I could talk to, but her experience with these kinds of things is limited..."

Another sigh, like each breath might finally lift the weight from her chest. "There was... something that happened, it was all rather emotional. But while we were coming down from that, she told me she loved me. And I... I didn't know how to react, but I knew I didn't feel the same way. But..."

Her face twists- first a frown, then her brow furrows, and then her eyes widen. "I-I just wanted love and acceptance for so long, and when someone was willing to give it, I didn't know what to do! I told her I had feelings for someone else, and I did and I still do, but then he left so it didn't matter! Should I have taken it? What if I can never get it again?!"

Tears begin to stream down her cheeks, fat droplets that splash onto the concrete below. "I-I don't want to be someone who rejects the love of others, but... A-and what if my feelings change later, but she's moved on? It's not fair... I don't know what to do..."

"Oh.."

Nier's response, almost instantly, seemed to make Cherie physically deflate; their lips parting in quiet surprise as their smile disappeared without a trace. Immediate sadness pooled in their eyes, but they refrained from reaching out to her yet; hands clasped still in front of their chest, despite that the grip around them had loosened ever so slightly.

Not only was she unable to share her feelings, but.. Nier's beloved person was gone. Taken from this world without warning, just in the same way everyone was brought. The thought.. it was enough to terrify Cherie, briefly; wondering if they, too, would one day lose the cherished friends they had made here..

But this conversation was not about them. It was about Nier, and her pain. Cherie listened on, silent as she explained then the confusing feelings that surfaced from the words of a friend. Even if those feelings were usually something warm, and comforting.. they could understand why the girl would feel so lost upon hearing them.

"I'm so sorry, Nier.. you worked so hard on something beautiful for that person. The bouquet, yes.. but the decision you made to share your feelings with them, too. Your hurt must run so deeply.."

Almost hesitantly, the cupid reached out; taking just one of Nier's hands into their own. Their fingers lingered against her loosely, as if asking if their touch was alright; giving her the chance to pull away if it was too much.

"I do realize that we have not spent much time together, but.. if it would ease you to talk about this confession.. I would be happy to listen. To navigate such a thing is not always easy.. but even if you wish to move on, you are not alone through these times. I will support you in anyway that you may need."

[deathreversed]

Describe your character with shitty negative ebay reviews!

Bonus:

[deathreversed]

Nier gives advice