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i’m trying not to do anything impulsive every time i open this app lmao

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@lovesaid cassian said, "you are so bad at this. it’s cute."

her mouth drops open in feign offense and starts laughing. “hey,” she playfully jabs him with her elbow. “this is my first time even holding drumsticks. i know it’s hard to imagine, but i can’t be perfect at everything.” the last time nesta had tried her hand at an instrument was when she was seven years old. her mother had insisted she take up piano lessons and when she had several sessions and still wasn’t improving, her mother and instructor both agreed she didn’t have the talent for it. which was just fine with nesta, she preferred dancing to music rather than playing it. though when cassian had offered to try to teach her drums for fun she didn’t want to say no. these days she took any opportunity she could to spend time with him.

“you make it look so easy.” she's perched on his lap in front of his drum set and trying her best to not let that fact distract her. her eyes follow the pattern on the drums cassian had demonstrated earlier and tries again to mimic the pattern along with trying to remember the beat in which he hits them with. with the amount of times she spends staring at him while he plays she’s surprised she can’t play from memory alone. she winces from her own playing, the sound reminding her of a toddler banging on pots and pans. “i've seen kids play better than this. show me again?”

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icb my ass is sick

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am i surprised there was no book announcement/news today? kinda

am i surprised sarah didn't make a post? not really considering how fucking insane and flat out mean this fandom is. especially when it comes to nesta, elain, and gwyn. i wouldn't want to interact with the fandom either tbh. especially when it's setup for the girlies, that the majority hate, to be in the upcoming books. i wouldn't want to see that negativity either so.

it's kinda funny to me for the fandom to act like this and then wonder why she doesn't post or interact with her readers like other authors do...uh look at yourselves and how you talk about her characters and how you treat other fans.

it's so sad bc years ago it wasn't like this, the community used to be small and we used to have fun and share our little theories and love on our favorite characters without someone wanting to crucify you for it. this series becoming big bc of booktok was the downfall imo and it wouldn't surprised me if sarah doesn't even have the motivation to write these stories anymore bc of how ppl act.

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{Words by José Olivarez from Citizen Illegal /@fatimaamerbilal , from even flesh eaters don't want me.}

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@flamesofday said "the words i cannot say are etched into my soul"

the afternoon had been spent riding pegasuses; nesta with calista and lucien with a golden one who was yet unclaimed by a valkyrie. whether it was flying through the air or racing on land, nesta could never imagine anything else would compare. now the two sat on a grassy hill overlooking the sea with the two pegasuses alternating between grazing and basking in the sun. the wind had made a decent amount of strands come loose from nesta’s braid. she unraveled the braid and combed through her hair with her fingers before lounging back on her hands. her head tilted up to allow the sun to warm her skin and she breathed in the sea air, letting it relax her entirely. no one spoke between them, but nesta could feel eyes on her. she opened her eyes and looked over to find lucien staring at her. “what is it? i don’t have something in my hair do i?” she was sure she didn’t since she just combed through it.

“the words i cannot say are etched into my soul.”

for a moment she stops breathing and her mouth goes dry. her eyes remain on him and she has to remind herself to breathe. “what if they are words i long to hear?” her feelings for lucien grew steadily during his time in her court. a friendship had formed between them first and it developed into something more on nesta’s end. the build up was so gradual she didn’t realize her feelings for him until one afternoon the two of them were at a cafe and a few other fae were ogling him. one of them had the nerve to approach him and that’s when nesta was slammed with an ugly wave of jealousy. a feeling she absolutely loathed and one she wasn’t unfamiliar with. the feeling followed her late into the evening back in the palace.

it dredged up memories during her relationship with cassian, how before they had even gotten together she would get hit with a pang of jealousy at another female flirting with him. not only did her feelings for lucien frighten her, but so did the possibility of what could happen if she tried pursuing a relationship with him. what if the feelings aren't reciprocated or worse they are and they get into a relationship only for her to end up with a broken heart again. her heart had been gutted out of her chest and shredded by wolves after cassian. so much so she vowed she wouldn’t let someone melt her icy heart again. needless to say a fire wielding fae managed to do just that. however, she refused to be the one to acknowledge those feelings first. she would only act on them if lucien were to make the first move.

“what’s making you hold back what you want to say?”

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@nestaarcheronweek | Day 05: Mother

For this prompt, @oristian and I wanted to touch on a scene in the future where Cassian rests and admires his girls. In the far off future, Nesta has accepted that the past is the past and she is not her mother; their daughter allows her the opportunity to grow and to experience motherhood from a completely new perspective.

Nesta and Cassian would most definitely have a small village of daughters—their own little Valkyries! Healing is certainly not linear, but we believe that Nesta would make an exceptional mother; her willingness to grow and develop is a strong indicator.

Art by: @mangomangoj Comissioned by: @melphss & @oristian Characters belongs to: Sarah J. Maas

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i honestly prefer to kick a man when hes down. its the easiest time to do it

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if i don’t write on at least one of my blogs later can someone just shove me off a bridge??

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i'm  color - coding  my  moods ,  you're  yellow ,  i'm  natural  blue.  let's  get  together  and  be  green  like  my  insides. ♫

headcanon - based  mitsuki  &  aya  from  the  guy  she  was  interested  in  wasn't  a  guy  at  all. loved by bunny & bri.

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modern nesta writes fanfiction by the way. gwyn and emerie are her beta readers lmao

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real quick tho, i know i've been super slow and not around a ton lately. it's bc i kinda have a new schedule going for myself as well as my energy has been pretty depleted. there's a few reasons for that tbh, but mainly my emotions can go from an all time high to an all time low pretty quickly and it's exhausting. i was also getting more anxiety attacks than normal and they were bad and would leave me feeling sick. thankfully those calmed down a lot.

all this to say that i'm still here, i still want to write, and continue all our threads and plots i have with everyone. sometimes i go quiet or i'm slow, but it never means that i don't want to write with you guys. if i force myself i feel crappy about my responses and i end up not enjoying writing. i'll be slowly getting to things across all my blogs <3

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to want and be wanted

georges bataille / emily palermo / olivia laing / @chaandajaan / georges bataille / cj hauser / @kvetchkween / @nicholasbraungf / vi khi nao / silas denver melvin

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Hayley Marshall | 2x07

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hi, i'm doing better but i'm going away for a few days. so unfortunately there won't be any writing done until the end of the week. i wanted to thank you guys for being patient with me and for checking in on me🩷

sorry for not getting any writing done in the last few days, i’m just not doing well mentally at the moment

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sorry for not getting any writing done in the last few days, i’m just not doing well mentally at the moment