debbuchanan

[debbuchanan]

Random Thoughts Running Through My Head:

This is a random post I wrote back 2020. On June 14th,2023 my friend of 50 yrs took her last breath in my arms. It was not a quietly go to sleep passing. Due to a doctor who did not understand ALS it was a struggling to breath moment that should have never happened. When will the FDA stop playing God? People get worked up over their right to bear arms, rights to abort a child, why not your right to take a trial medicine that can possibly save your life?

ALS

So on our last visit to the ALS clinic I handed each discipline the new updated version of supplements my Pals is taking. Including the doctor. Not one added the list to her file on the computer. They all looked at it and layed it back down. Im guessing her file is never put into any kind of research or informative collection.

Yet, from day one she has researched the supplements that may possibly make a difference. A year ago January 2020 her ALS doctor said she had 6 months. Really? Because she is still here! I would think they would be asking us what we are doing to fight this Beast. Because, other than a saliva pill, elasticity pill, and an antidepressant pill, along with the therapy disciplines giving us ideas for exercises, and some equipment ordered. They just say see you in 3 or 4 months. Im wondering why they even test lung functions?? Just so they can deliver negative info.

I know that without the clinic and als organization insurance would not give us a CPAP, Breath Assist, Amazing Wheelchair, Tobi Eye Computer, hospital bed, walkers, bathing equipment, etc. Iam grateful!

Just give us the trial meds would you????? Sitting here waiting to exit this horrific disease while a select few get chosen to trial a pill that just might help ALL is so deeply disheartening!

Then this pandemic comes along and we have to sit back and watch as a miracle vaccine is developed over night. Politicians, big money, and big pharma want to force people to take the vaccines........

I don't think you would have to force one person suffering with ALS to take a trial med!!!!

Im just venting in hopes that some politician, big money, big pharma, big corporation that can make a difference would find my thoughts on here!

No worries! In the end I have my Faith! I know that what we are doing right here, right now is making a difference.

I've made this post available to all. Please Repost, Cut & Paste, whatever it takes to be read! I want it read! I want people to know what ALS is, what it takes away, and what it takes to live this life. I've only met Heroes on this Journey!

[debbuchanan]

Random Thoughts Running Through My Head….

HOME

Reflection: The excitement of arriving is so quickly, replaced by the weight of leaving.......I say this today as a reminder to those who find themselves at a crossroads. My journey has taken me many places throughout my life, yes by choice. I have to take ownership in those choices. What has never left my heart is home. Life is not measured by money.....it is measured by moments, moments that become memories, cherished spaces in our hearts & our minds. If I have learned anything through this journey, I have learned that yes I have made home where ever I was! I have found my heart always yearning to come home. The Best of Me has always been home in Iowa. I am looking forward to being where I long to be......Home, that place where my children, grandchildren, family, and friends know where to find me!

[debbuchanan]

Random Thoughts Running Through My Head….

Every conversation is a memory....

The winter season comes without warning.

Cherish those moments when your chairs are filled.

[debbuchanan]

Random Thoughts Running Through My Head

Take Time To Grieve

I wrote this in 2021......

The past five days in my life have rolled through a rampant of precious moments, a phone call that ripped me apart, good deeds, amazing conversations, touching memories devasting realities, difficult acceptance, love, joy, tears, understanding, confusion, loss, anger, these are my realities right now....

I'm upfront with my life.....

I share more than many people may think I should. That's alright with me. Because at the end of the day. If my words, my thoughts, my realities of this life I live. Alter just one life to find the courage to keep going. Well then that is a WIN!

I do know that we are never going to escape the valleys in life. I like to think and live with the belief that something good comes from even the worst of times. Right now the past few days are making that belief hard to grasp onto.

All I can say to those I care about out there right now living under a shadow of darkness.....is this....in my darkest moments when I woke up. I had been blessed with new relationships that have ultimately changed the person I was yesterday, sometimes moments ago.

Give yourself all the time you need to grieve....

It is needed in order to heal. You will emerge. When you do emerge grab onto every hand that is extended, reaching out to you. Let our strength be a shadow for you to rest beneath until that time. The light will shine again. It's brightness will cast a different hue of colors upon you. A new season has begun. Be kind to yourself on this journey.....

May this song resonate within you all. God understands.... I also know that when I have gone full circle in that moment of anger. Let me tell you sometimes that full circle lasted awhile. It was always God, my faithful God that stood beside me every step of the way....

That is the requirement of a parent....to hold steadfast and wait for us.

Love, Deb

[debbuchanan]

Random Thoughts Running Through My Head….

As much as I have grown and evolved throughout my years. My stomach still stirred when I read these words.

God Enjoys You!

I have struggled most of my life not feeling worthy. I can remember as a young child constantly feeling as though I was not worthy because I came from a broken home, I was too skinny, I had crooked teeth, I wore glasses, I had very curly hair, oh those awkward adolescent years were literally brutal! The list only grew as I became older. I spent the majority of these past 66 years trying to be enough.

Even after I got contact lens, braces were off, I bought nice cloths, it was never enough. The damage I sustained as a small child, it has still found its way gnawing at my self esteem. That little girl is still peering out at me when I look into the mirror. Hoping I show up to love her today.

Key words love me.

When I see young children being mean to one another I can not bare it. Parents not being present and involved drives me insane. That flight/ fight mode is a constant reminder that my journey is not finished! It’s amazing how much of yourself can get lost to ungrateful people and all because you want to be accepted…. You know, ENOUGH.

Being enough does not come easy to all of us.

I am the woman who walks into a room and most people would never suspect the fear, self analyzing , unworthiness , self doubt that I am climbing through and sifting over in my head. It has taken hours of prayer, hundreds of dollars of self help books, therapy sessions, and God simply never giving up on me and yet I have struggled!

Oh the stomach aches….

I have been divorced two times, married three times,and a couple of other long term relationships. I could go off the deep end on the recovery process! I see very plainly the child within cowering on the ground. Looking up and into the heavens, crying out what now God? How do I find my self worth once again!

As I share my random thoughts triggered by this mornings bible passage. Im thrilled to tell you that inspite of all the valleys…. I would do it all again just to be the me that I found on this not always enjoyable journey.

Me…. I’m strong, I’m love,I’m laughter,I’m a safe place, I’m empathy, I’m a protector, I’m momma, I’m Manga, I’m Donnie’s wife……

Im a Lighthouse….

Today as I look into the mirror I will look into the eyes of that little girl peering through and say….. God has found you worthy, rejoice in the Lord, for to whom much is given, much is required!

Today is going to be a great day, amen!

[debbuchanan]

Random Thoughts Running Through My Head ….

Home for Christmas

I have been spending this past week since returning from my time in Nashville with my children,granddaughter, and other family friends, just reliving in my heart, the past 10 days. Smiling with such appreciation for this moment in my life.

As I have shared we have two, not one, but two new 4 legged babies that have taken a place in our hearts & our home. Therefore, I have taken great pride in my selections of decorating our home for Christmas!

Waking up this morning with my hubby beside me. Anticipating our full weekend, my heart is full. Lasagna’s for tonight’s supper…👍

Garlic Bread & Salad…👍

Flowers for Granddaughter…👍

Sharing dinner with our mom, children & grandchildren,then off as a family to Hailey/ our granddaughters dance recital.

Our weekend is full of Christmas Shopping, dinner with our friends the CHARBONEAU’s ( a little card playing too), more shopping, wrapping presents, time together cherishing every moment. It’s been a long time since I have felt this relaxed.

I read a passage this morning. I’m going to change it up to fit my heart this morning…..

To my Husband,Children & Grandchildren….

If you were to ask me,

Why I love you so much.

I would tell you,

It’s not because you believe in everything I believe in. It’s not because you are always ready to embrace my next venture.

It is simply,

That my heart truly lights up every time each one of you walk into the room!

Love,

Aka….Wifey,Hon,Mom,Momma,Manga,Grandma

My wish for each of you this Christmas & all the days ahead….make as many memories as possible💕

[debbuchanan]

Random Thoughts Running Through my Head…..

Random Moments In Time

Yesterday, while randomly looking for a coat of mine. My hand came across something I didn’t realize I had still held onto. There in the back of the closet were my Momma’s favorite Christmas sweaters.

As I pulled them out one by one. My senses took off and suddenly there you were. I could hold your sweater close to my chest and smell you as if you had never gained your wings.

I looked at the clothing pieces and I could see you in them, smiling that million dollar smile of yours. As you put on your earrings & necklace. Asked me to help you with a little makeup so that you could once again have eyebrows & eyelashes. As they had slowly disappeared through the onset of your Golden Years!

A touch of lipstick and you with your beautiful silver hair stood before me ready to welcome in Christmas. You loved shopping and eating out. So, once you were ready. We would be off for a full day. Knowing we would not return until the car and our bellies were full,as well as the moon having been up and shining for several hours.

Magical how holding one sweater close to my heart could bring about a lifetime of memories for those fleeting seconds.

Then as swiftly as you appeared. You were gone with me standing there with my memories, wishing I could somehow hold onto you just a little longer.

Once the fall leaves began to descend to the ground in preparation of the ending of yet another trip around the sun. I have felt the longing to just pick up the phone and call both you and Dad. You know time to fill you both in on all the changes that another year has bestowed upon our families.

Christmas was always a favorite time for you Mom. Decoration’s, Christmas Music, Gifts,Cookies,Candy,Baking,and of coarse tons of food! Dad, not so much. He would say it was just another day. As he looked forward to receiving his packages from me!

The following photo is of you, Momma receiving your last Christmas Santa earthside Christmas 2015. I loved picking them out for you every year. Now they adorn the farmhouse allowing me the warmth of your presence.

Dad this photo of you forever hangs in our family room allowing me. To tell stories to our grandchildren about the man from which their genes continue to remind us all that you are with us.

I love you Momma & Dad, I miss you both beyond measure. Momma with her over zealous passion & Dad with his quiet demeanor. You both live inside my heart always & forever.

Merry Christmas to my two most favorite Angels!

Your Forever Daughter

[debbuchanan]

Random Thoughts Running Through My Head…..

Why Winter Speaks To Me

I had a post come through today explaining why winter is so special. As I read the quote it was touching. Then I realized that since the snow began this past week here in Iowa there were words, thoughts , feelings I had been wanting to acknowledge, share as only I like to do.

My Dad worked as a Test Engineer for International Harvester. This meant that around the first of March through the end of November he was in the field somewhere in the United States, either planting or harvesting with the planters/ combines.

As a child I would get so excited for Thanksgiving and Christmas break. It meant the weather would turn cold and my daddy would be home with us! We would be a family with mom, dad, and my brothers! It was the only time during the year that I actually felt safe.

My mom was always off saving someone when the weather was nice. That’s my way of simplifying that she had deep unrest issues. I’m proud to say that in her later years, she found her peace! 🙏

Dad was always traveling for work, with 4 weeks gone and 2 weeks home. Ahh , there is where my work ethic came from!😁

My brother and I would be sent to live with our grandparents all summer so that Dad could work and Mom could work at figuring out life.

But, winter…snow….it meant for a brief few months. We could be a family. At least that’s the way the child within has chosen to remember.

Sweet winter, you and your falling snow bring my heart warmth, love, and safety. You are family to my soul! You are my spiritual comfort food! 💕

[debbuchanan]

Random Thoughts Running Through My Head…..

It’s not always easy being me. My brain struggles to be quiet most of the time. I’m like a squirrel chasing its tail from one random memory, thought, concern, life oops, to eventually settling down and saying….girl you are actually quite amazing! Sometimes , I stand in awe of my days accomplishments, other days I’m disgusted with myself for all the things I didn’t do. Then I step back and remind myself that I’m me, it’s ok to say…not today! I’m actually trying to find balance. Instead of feeling like everyday is an hour glass, discouraged as the final strands of sand tumble into the darkness of night.

I’m thinking that my journaling needs to have a place to list today’s accomplishments. I have worked so hard and for so long and was raised being taught that the key to success was hard work. It’s important! It really is ! I love that I have a great work ethic. Yet, equally as important is relaxation & laughter…you know those deep down belly laughs.

I have a list a mile long of things to do today. I know what has to be done before tomorrow gets here. I have procrastinated this week. Tonight will be a crash coarse in leaving things to the last minute. I’m not happy with myself when I back myself into these corners.

But guess what? I’m going to set all those feelings aside for just a few more hours. I’m going to go meet a friend for lunch that I have not seen in at least 5 years. I’m going to rekindle a friendship that I have valued. I’m going to find my belly laugh. I’m going to enjoy the moment. Something I sometimes struggle to allow for myself.

Then I will come home, dig in, and rush off to the finish line. Old habits are hard to break. There is always tomorrow.

If my Random Thoughts Running Through My Head….resonate within you, Hallelujah! Life is a journey we all have to travel. It’s a good feeling when you realize your struggles and your joys are felt by others….we are truly never really alone.

God Bless those who have slipped in to read a piece of my 💜

[debbuchanan]

Random Thoughts Running Through My Head…..

WHO ARE YOU REALLY?

A line from someone I respect….Who are you really?

When you ask how are you to a friend, a passer by. Do you really want to know? Or are you the not really, I just thought I should ask as your body and facial expressions tell the story of your true thoughts.

If you knew a childhood friend from days gone by was only an hour from you while your on a trip. Would you make time to stop by if only for a hug and a brief conversation ?

When you say in parting. We need to get together. Do you really mean it? Will you make it happen ?

Who makes it happen in your inner circle? Are you the planner and the person always making time for others or is the relationship a mutual we all share in the journey?

Are you the taker? Or Are you the giver? Or are you the person that says I’ll meet you in the middle ?

Are you always full of good intentions yet never come through? You know oh I’ll make dinner and take it to a sick friend…..yet in reality you never find the time.

Are you that person that can only talk about yourself and what is going on in your life, failing to give others the opportunity to share as well.

These are just a few of the thoughts running through my head as I think about….Who Am I Really?

I could go deeper, I’m not sure you’re all ready for that!😉

I am warmed by those that take the time to read my Random Thoughts. You are my people! The best part of saying you are my people is that some of you I know extremely well, others not so much. I love knowing that if only for a brief moment in time…..we connected.

It’s a journey family & friends.

Earth time is brief…..

Soul is energy & that’s everlasting !

Who are you really?

God Bless 🙏🥰

[debbuchanan]

JUST ONE OF MANY THOUGHTS ON MOTHER....

My Mom, the foundation of my awareness that who I am matters. Always with me tucked deeply within my heart!

I can never celebrate Mothers Day without a mixture of feelings. Amazing that the older I get the memories of growing up with my mother don't change. How I internalize the affect they have had. However, has changed me immensely.

I've had many stages that have evolved with my Mother throughout the years.....

Mother/Child, Mother/Adolescent, Mother/ Teenager, Mother/Young Adult, Mother/New Wife, Mother/NewMom, Best Friends, Elderly Mother/Caretaker, Heavenly Mother/ On My Own

Throughout it all I could not be the Mother Iam today. If it were not for the Mother I was given!

Thank You Momma!

[debbuchanan]

For Just A Moment, Take Me Away

I'm off to have my hair cut, possibly colored Grey. I'm tired of coloring it.

Then a Spa Day, Facial, Manicure, Pedicure, Reiki Massage, Soak in warm water flowing with lavender oils.

A lovely light lunch of salad, shrimp, ice cold sparkling water, and some delightful dessert calorie free which I have yet to decide upon.

All of this sitting high on a mountaintop overlooking the water flowing ever so gently from below.

I plan to end the day with a lovely horseback ride along the waters edge as the sun sets.

Then rinse off, slip into my silky jams, open the window to let in the night sounds, light a lovely lavender candle, crawl under the clean white sheets, while the music softly plays as I drift off to sleep.

Sounds like a perfect day!

I have a wonderful imagination!

Reality......

My hair is in a twist. Grey edges everywhere poking out from under my fake hair color. Drinking down a glass of water as I slip into my old clothes. Ready to go clean the rental. Most likely grab a sandwich on the run. Work my tail off into exhaustion. At some point take a quick hot shower in hopes that it will be enough to make the aches and pains of the day disappear. I can then fall into bed hoping sleep finds me for at least an hour before I have to move my aching body to the bathroom and back to bed 3 or 4 times. Only to wake up again and start all over.

and yet I am still grateful for all I have!

[debbuchanan]

Voices in My Head

When you have grown up hearing 2 voices in your ear. One voice, your parents and family wanting you to be successful by the confinement of what is viewed as Successful in Society!

The other voice ever so gently always centered in your ❤! Gods Voice!

For me the Awakening has been coming forever! I was a very shy child in many ways. It took me into my 30's to slowly speak up! When I say speak up. I mean truly start to be vulnerable! Sadly, I opened myself up to people with so many of their own fears. They were not free to encourage my Free Spirit! This caused me to digress and fall into what I had learned to be. Not who I was meant to be.

Since the passing of my Mother. I've began to listen to the ever constant voice within me. The one that has never left me, never changed its coarse! The patient love of God! For awhile I wanted to say that I couldn't because I'm too old. It's too late! God keeps reminding me that their is no age in Heaven! Our Spirits are forever Youthful! So why am I defining my calling by age? Most likely because I've been mourning. Mourning the thoughts and visions of Fear based Words!

What I'm trying to say here....

Please look at your children and see the real child within! Living Authentically is so much more than the defining of a Title or a Paycheck! Some of us are meant for Greater Heights! Such as putting a smile where tears are flowing, to encourage the inner soul, to touch the heart. The list is endless! Let's make sure our little ones know that Greatness is so much more...what a Journey they will Create!

[debbuchanan]

ALS......this is only the beginning

Random Thoughts Running Through My Head Today.........

As I find the courage to be absent more than I am present these next few weeks. It is important for me to express that which has become yours and my daily reality!

ALS in time as we have come to know, ALS will try to steal every portion of who you once were, every ounce of human dignity, all the self love, right out of your soul. By Faith and God's Grace we take back that which ALS seeks to diminish.

Once ALS has taken the ability for you to walk across the room, stand up from the chair, roll over in your bed, dress yourself,comb your hair, brush your teeth, go to the bathroom ALONE, or give yourself a private shower, and most importantly to actually Hug another Human, or allow your OWN voice to say the words I LOVE YOU......

What are you left with??????

Your vision......

Your physical Vision, your eyes are your language. I pray that those that replace me will look into your eyes.

Oh you are left with a mind that never shuts down. It plays nonstop in your head, over and over.....but they don't hear your thoughts the way I have learned to hear them.

Reminding you of all you've had, all you've done, all you've lost, all you will never do again. Somewhere, somehow it is up to you to find the courage and the strength to accept this reality. I have found that courage and strength beside you on this journey. As your friend and now your caretaker.

For I became over time your hands, your legs, your every source of movement. I am the hands that wipe away the tears, I hold the kleenex, the washcloth, the towel, the spoon, the cup, I prepare and provide for your every daily essential to continue to exist in this isolated body you reside within. I have learned to read your eyes.

I am your words to the outside world as your voice has grown silent.

So, as I go off today to take care of another whole life that is mine as well. I want you to know that this is not easy.

It is never easy for me to leave you!

Most of all it is never easy to trust others to care for you, love you, cry with you, laugh with you, get frustrated with you, to actually embrace with you the realities of this life which you and I have found our unspoken reality!

I love you.....

I'm praying over you always.....

and I'm only a text away....

[debbuchanan]

Random Thoughts Running Through My Head......

Or are they my Truths?

I'm standing at the crossroad again on this new day.

Do I look back today? Gravitating into the shadows.

Or do I look up with a heart of gratitude, love, and joy?

Only I can make that choice this morning.

I will set the tone for the joy of today for myself and my family, and those that come into my circle.

I need to understand that it is going to take patience to turn things around. Be kind to myself, my spouse, my children, my friends, my acquaintances. We have all known what it is like to be living in an atmosphere of pain, fear, and total uncertainty at some point in our journey. It will take time to build the trust that needs to happen in order to take away the fears that lie just below the surface. Let fear be replaced with FAITH. Fear is darkness based....FAITH IS THE LIGHT OF THE LORD!

Many times, we find ourselves waiting for the ball to drop and our world to explode at any moment. That is so sad.

Example:

The milk glass falls over and the milk is all over the floor....ie a huge mess.

Does it really matter if I was acting silly and irresponsible at the moment the milk spilled? I don't need anyone to remind me of my actions at that moment that caused the milk to spill. I know if I was being silly, not paying attention, irresponsible.

What truly matters in this moment, is how I handle and how others around me handle the clean up of the spilled milk.

Will I be isolated, yelled at, punished for the spilled milk.....or will someone come to assist me, gently guiding me through the process, allowing me to see clearly that I'm not alone and there is someone who cares enough to help me clean up the spilled milk. Leaving intact my spirit, my dignity, my self esteem?

There have been many times when respect from others has failed to make itself present. Was that due to my lack of respect towards myself, and ultimately towards others for failing to show itself?

It begins with me.....Every single day! Every single reaction! Every single look! Every single tone that comes out of me.....Begins and ends with me!

I have been spending a lot of time self analyzing my own reactions, tones, attitude. I'm so tired of letting my ego......MY EGO.....ruin my day, the days of those around me!!

Time is slipping through my fingers! Time waits for no one. It is up to me to BE THE JOY....for MYSELF and for those AROUND ME!

New Day.....

Start Over....

New Moment....

Start Over...

When things begin to spiral. I need to sit down immediately. Gather my thoughts and say not today!

Regroup, Stand up and say ok!!! I can do better!! I will DO better!!

If I will take my Ego and set it aside.....I will win this battle raging inside of ME!

To my Self, it is time to get off the merry go round it has not made my life better yet! Shed my skin, my ego and go.....

GO LIVE MY LIFE, LET THE BEAUTIFUL PERSON I KNOW I AM SHINE!

SHINE for me as the person, spouse, parent, friend! I am the world to my spouse and my children......IF I WOULD JUST SHOW UP AS THE CHRISTIAN PERSON, SPOUSE, PARENT, etc.....GOD knows me to be!

Note to Self...

If you have to read this message a hundred times a day to restart.....

Then read it a HUNDRED AND ONE TIMES!

These words are truth! They are from my own mistakes! My ❤️

From the knowledge of knowing that all I ever need to do every day.... is to truly regroup take responsibility and believe in me. Acknowledge, All that is ever needed.....is to show up every single moment, every single day and lay my ego down and begin over and over to put God first in my heart and slowly mend my Broken Wings in order to SOAR!

I tell myself this because......

This is not the time to walk away and give up on myself, me as a spouse, me as a parent, my relationships with others! I have yet given myself and others the love and attention we deserve.

It's time to dig in....

Do the hard work that it will take...

Stop choosing self pity and darkness.

Stand up....Look up... Pray continously...and claim the Victory!

Easy? Nothing in life worthy of having comes easy!

Love from Me....

A real person trying to find my way.

Disclaimer.....these are the raw thoughts and emotions from a woman who has known the sadness of a broken Spirit. Yet, by the grace of God's love has found the courage to show up day after day and be willing to fight for her Authentic Self.....

Believe me when I say that Soaring is a Great view!

I pray that my Random Thoughts Running Through My Head bring healing to your soul. We are never alone. Yet, it is entirely up to each of us to bring authenticity into our personal......Journey.

[debbuchanan]

Accept It

These are some of the hardest words I have ever had to embrace. I think I'm going to sit on these words for awhile.

Eventually, I will enlighten those that enjoy my .... Random Thoughts Running Through My Head with the true raw emotions that have allowed these words to take root in my core.

I'm actually looking forward to my own thoughts taking form. I do believe there may be a few loose nerve endings trying to heal.

You know you are making progress with your healing. When you can actually smile and feel joy as you write down your thoughts!

😃 and you thought I could leave this post with out a Random Thoughts Running Through My Head.....definitely to be continued!

❤️

[debbuchanan]

Shirley

I would like thank Bill, Jeanie, Julie, and Diane for giving me the honor to share with all of you today. My thoughts and my words come from my heart. It is my hope that something I have to say will bring a smile to your soul. Each of you, I know have your own special moments, stories that you have shared with Shirley. I pray that you will allow those stories to lighten your grief and bring shirley closer to you as you find a new normal in the days ahead.

I would love nothing more than to stand here and tell you all about the beautiful, funny, heart pounding stories I have shared with Shirley over a span of 65 years. Like all the horse stories on our Grandparents Farm, Watermelon, Baby Food, Rhubarb, Green Apples, Burger King, Debs Drive In, in Milan( now that is aging us), Scary Ghost stories from her bedroom window on the farm ( overlooking the cemetery), Jitterbug(is a dance for those of you wondering and we spent hours perfecting it), a 1969 roadrunner metallic bronze 4 on the floor ( and yes Shirley could drive it as good as any man), and cleaning....more specifically BEDROOM CLEANING....more specifically, Jeanie Sue’s Bedroom! Cleaning became lots of fun when Julie came along. Jeanie now had someone to blame the mess on!  There are so many stories....to be remembered!

Somewhere long ago I read, that the amount of Grief we feel, can be measured by the love we have shared. I believe that to be true. Be kind to yourself as you travel this road. Grief and Blessings go hand in hand. In time out of those tears and moments of loneliness and sadness. God will bring the sunshine back into your view and from that the Blessings will come. 

 I asked shirley to lay upon my heart the words to share with you today and immediately I was googling.....

What Do Humans and Horses Have In Common? Ask and You shall receive!

The article I found was. “Top 10 Reasons People Love Horses”

1)     Their Heart

From going all out to win the race to doing everything possible to make their person happy. Horses give their all to humans. 

Shirley, always gave us 100%. You never sat down to talk to her that she was not 100% engaged in YOU!

2)     They’re The Best Therapist

Having a bad Day? Giving a horse a hug changes everything. Just by being there to listen, changes everything. 

Shirley and I had many of those moments in our journey. One quick story I would like to share is the first time I went to take Shirley out to dinner after her arrival to Avonlea. We were sitting in my truck. Shirley looks at me and says, sometimes I hate Alzheimer’s! Everything inside of me wanted to shout back,, I DO TOO! Instead, I took her hand in mine and said I bet you do. I don’t like it either. But, right now Shirley. I’m going to choose to be grateful. She looked a little perplexed. I said because without your diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. I wouldn’t be here right now. We would both be out in the world living our lives. Not that we wouldn’t think of each other, but we would be busy living in the moment. she looked back at me, wiped the tears away and said you’re right. We hugged and embraced the moment. 

3)    They Give Us Peace

Horses have an even attitude towards both  bad and the good, reminding us to take everything as it comes and realize everything has its moment. 

Wow! If you know anything about Shirley, her own story, her journey. You know as I do that she learned early on to keep gravitating towards the good! Shirley truly found....Peace in her Life!

4)    How They Act

Horses change in behavior from game day to relaxing at home. Providing for a perfect mix for those who spend time around them.

Shirley took her years of hard work to heart. Giving all she had when she punched the time clock. Second only to the moment she was relaxing with her family, caring for or riding her horse, a horse, any horse, cooking a meal, creating in her garden.....Shirley was always capable of the Perfect Mix. 

5)    They’re the Best Teachers

Not only do horses teach you how to ride, they also teach you how to be a decent human. From learning responsibility in caring for them to building empathy. 

The definition of Empathy is the ability to sense other peoples emotions. 

Shirley embodied the true essence of understanding the emotions of others. All you had to do was look into her eyes, her smile. Shirley would never describe herself as a teacher, yet from the moment she was given the diagnosis of Alzheimer’s her greatest  lesson to us......BEGAN.

6)    The Way they Move

It doesn’t matter what a horse is doing they look majestic doing it. Many people feel that watching a horse is poetry.

Watching Shirley move always, always brought a calmness into the room. Watching her ride and being with family, was truly poetry in motion.

7)    Horses Are In Our Blood

Horses are what they understand. From their listening skill to their behavior, horses just know how to connect with people and have for thousands of years.

Shirley had the ability to meet you where ever you were in life. Never passing judgement, or second guessing. She always allowed you to be exactly who you were meant to be. If you needed to be grounded, just sit and visit with her.  

8)    They Challenge You, But also Work with You

You have to earn a horses trust-but once you do, you have it forever. The journey you take with them is worth it.

Trust is your belief that they are honest and sincere and will not deliberately do anything to harm you....this totally describes Shirley, the wife, mother daughter, grandmother, sister, niece, cousin, friend.

9)    They’re The Embodiment Of Good

In a world where bad headlines often reign. Horses are the definition of what it means to be good. They are kind and gentle and willing to follow humans to the ends of the earth if that is what it takes to make us happy.

On Sept 7, 2017 while sharing a Franks Pizza, Shirley looked across the table at me and said, “This is the most time we have spent together in Years”....

On June 26, 2018 Shirley said to me, “ when you come to visit, it always feels like I’m home again”.

Together we always Embodied that which is Good and True.

10)    Their Personalities

Last but not least, like horses, we humans are each different, getting to know the quirks, the highs, the lows, simply adds Joy to Our Lives. As I have previously stated here today. Each of us have had our own special Relationship with Shirley. I would like to encourage you in the days ahead to Embrace It, Protect It, but most of share your memories!

Keep Shirley’s Beautiful Spirit Alive!

In closing I would like to share a truth I’ve come to know.....

On this journey if I’ve learned anything about angels on earth taking flight. I’ve learned how to talk to them every time my heart is unable to quiet. I’ve learned to hear them whisper in my ear when I’m sure I will forget their voice. I’ve learned to pull up a picture in my mind of them... and every single time all of a sudden I see their faces...their smiles... the twinkle in their eyes....but most importantly...I can feel them close carrying me through until I can find my center, my footing, the me they know me to be... and once again... I’m able to hold my head up, find my way. Because, I know they expect that from me. 

Thank You and May Shirley’s Love Shine Through Us All.