definitelynothim-notalex

[definitelynothim-notalex]

She’s mysterious, intense, and artsy—always wearing oversized sweaters, layered jewelry, and has music in her ears 24/7. She paints her nails black, rolls her eyes at shallow people, and writes poetry that makes your soul ache.

Johnny? Johnny thinks she’s the coolest girl he’s ever met. Like… borderline goddess-level cool.

She sees the pain in his eyes before he ever says a word.

He sees the softness in her underneath all the black eyeliner and haunting lyrics.

He sees her at school, headphones in, hood up, leaning against the wall sketching something dark and beautiful. No one talks to her.

She catches him staring.

She walks up, pulls one earbud out, and says:

“What’re you lookin’ at, Greaser boy?”

He panics. Blushes. Mumbles something about liking her drawing.

She just smirks.

“You’re weird. I like it.”

And walks away.

He’s in love.

She sings to him in a low whisper when he’s having a panic attack. Hums soft melodies that calm him down. It works every time

They sit on rooftops at night, not talking, just listening to the same song on shared earbuds.

She writes a song about him. It’s raw, beautiful, and a little broken. He cries when she sings it.

She paints his scars with tiny silver stars.

She’s a little mean to everyone… except Johnny. She melts around him.

When he doubts himself or feels worthless, she deadpans:

“You’re the only boy I’ve ever liked, Cade. That means you’re rare. So shut up.”

Heres a scene for you guys, you didnt ask for it but here you go <3 :

Johnny walks into the Curtis house and she’s there, curled up on the couch, black nails tapping a beat on her leg.

“Hey,” she says, barely lifting her eyes.

“Hey,” he says back, fiddling with his sleeves.

She sits up, pats the spot beside her. He sits.

She pulls out a ring box—black velvet, sleek.

“I saw this and thought of you.”

He opens it. It’s a small silver band with a tiny flame etched into it.

“Like fire,” she says. “Because you’re more than just soft. You burn too.”

Johnny doesn’t know whether to cry or kiss her.

So he does both.

[definitelynothim-notalex]

She’s all pearls, pressed skirts, and perfectly curled hair. She's the type of girl who always says “please” and “thank you,” volunteers at shelters, and somehow always smells like vanilla and warm cookies.

He’s... well, he’s Dally. All leather jackets, cigarette smoke, and "I don’t give a damn."

And yet? She’s the only person who can make him roll his eyes and smile at the same time.

It’s after school. She’s waiting for him in her cute little convertible, pink sunglasses on, a foot tapping on the pavement.

Dally strolls up, smirking like always, cigarette tucked behind his ear.

She crosses her arms.

“You’re late.”

“Clock’s overrated,” he shrugs.

She glares. Like really glares.

Then she gets real close, pokes his chest (yes, he lets her), and says:

“Listen, mister. You have to be a good boy from now on, okay? No more getting arrested! No more fights. And absolutely no stealing from gas stations. I won't allow this. So behave… or else.”

Dally raises a brow. “Or else?”

She leans up on her tiptoes, whispering against his lips.

You: “Or else I won’t kiss you for a whole week.”

He chokes. “You wouldn’t.”

You: “Try me.”

And guess what? For the first time in his life, Dally Winston behaves. (Well. Sort of.)

She writes his name on her notebooks with hearts.

He secretly carries a picture of her in his wallet but will literally kill someone if they find it.

When a Soc guy talks crap about Dally, she goes off like: “Just because he doesn’t wear a polo doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a heart, Bryce.”

She’s the only one who can call him "baby" without getting a snarky comment.

When she says “I love you,” Dally always pretends to groan—but he holds her hand tighter every time.

[definitelynothim-notalex]

soooo imma start posting for the umbrella academy too chat :^ (and still do the lost boys)

[definitelynothim-notalex]

Klaus Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy is portrayed as pansexual, though this is not explicitly stated in the show, but rather inferred through his relationships and the interpretation of the actor who plays him, Robert Sheehan.

KLAUS x GF (based on Yoruichi from Bleach)

She's sexy, deadly, sarcastic, and patient enough to deal with Klaus's emotional rollercoaster and still be ready to dropkick a demon into next week.

---

✦ Aesthetic & Energy:

* Looks like a thunderstorm in human form—dark glowing skin, sharp golden cat-eyes, and a body carved like a goddess from myths.

* Always barefoot. Always teasing. Always ten steps ahead.

* Wears next to nothing unless she’s in battle, then she’s in sleek black with golden accents, moving like a blur.

* Her laugh? Addictive. Her stare? Lethal. Her kisses? Klaus once said they could "resurrect the dead faster than he could."

---

🔮 Powers + Presence:

* Lightning-speed flash steps, weather manipulation, raw combat skill—she’s a weapon in motion.

* She could solo any mission the Umbrella Academy faces. But she doesn’t.

She waits. Observes. Listens. She knows the *perfect* time to strike.

> Klaus: “Why don’t you do the saving thing more often?”

> Her (smirking): “Because I’d ruin your chance to be a drama queen, baby.”

---

💀 Dynamic with Klaus:

* The exact balance Klaus needs: grounded but chaotic, sensual but strong, patient but playful.

* She calls him out on his nonsense while wrapping her thighs around his waist.

* He clings to her like she’s his last cigarette—wild, addictive, dangerous.

* She helps him get through the ghosts, trauma, and substance issues *without* babying him.

> Klaus: “I saw Ben again today. He said you’re hot.”

> Her: “Tell him thanks. You’re not so bad yourself, ghost boy.”

---

🔥 Spicy Vibes:

* Unstoppable tension. She’ll flash step in wearing his shirt and nothing else, whispering “Catch me if you can.”

* Her power mixed with his ghost-summoning? Yeah… the *walls shake*.

* He calls her “My Lightning Queen,” usually while panting.

> Klaus (post-round 2): “I’m seeing spirits again, baby. And stars.”

> Her: “That’s because I broke you, sugar.”

---

⚡ When She’s Called Into Battle:

* The team is down. Klaus is bleeding. The world’s ending *again*.

* She walks in calm, barefoot, yawning.

> Her: “I leave you idiots alone for five minutes…”

> Then? Flash step. *CRACK*. Screams. Bodies. Silence.

> Klaus, holding his ribs and smirking:

> “God, I love her.”

---

🖤 Ride-or-Die Energy:

* She’s “don’t touch my man or I’ll electrocutedropkick you” levels of protective.

* Klaus is ride-or-die for her too. She’s the first thing he sees in the morning (usually straddling him), and the last thing he wants if death ever comes.

> Her: “You’ll never have to summon me, love. I’ll always come.”

> Klaus: “Don’t make me cry, babe, I already lost my mascara.”

---

TL;DR:

She’s lightning, leather, lips, and loyalty. A goddess made of raw power and sensual chaos. Klaus may talk to ghosts, but she’s the one who haunts him—in the best, sexiest, “wreck my soul” kind of way.

[definitelynothim-notalex]

If you haven't followed me yet then uh.. tf you doing?? Hurry up. anyways 😒

*FIVE x (you)GF (based on Yoruichi from Bleach)

Powerful. Seductive. Calculated chaos. She’s the Plan D, the nuclear option, the "only if everything else fails, let her off the leash" solution. Because when she shows up? The battlefield doesn't stand a chance.

---

☾ Vibe Check:

* Looks like a goddess, moves like a ghost, and fights like a thunderstorm.

* That dark, flawless skin, golden eyes that seem to glow when she’s serious, and a smirk that could stop Five mid-rant.

* She’s usually lounging somewhere high-up, legs crossed, arms behind her head, while the others panic over apocalypse #938.

> Five: “Why weren’t you in the meeting?”

> Her (stretching): “I *was.* You just didn’t see me.”

---

☄️ Power Level: Terrifying

* Flash step? She could circle the Earth before you blink.

* Lightning strikes? Child’s play.

* Hand-to-hand? Good luck landing a hit.

Five has a plan A through C for a reason. Because D is her, and once she's in the game, it's no longer a fight—it's an execution.

> Diego: “Why don’t we ever call her first?”

> Five:“Because we’d never be able to contain the fallout.”

---

💋 Relationship Dynamic with Five:

* Power couple, but not in the loud, clingy way.

* She teases him endlessly but respects his mind and time powers.

* He pretends she annoys him, but secretly watches her train with a little too much interest.

* She calls him “Short King” or “Little Thunderstorm” and gets away with it.

* When things get intimate, she's playful and dominant—but loves when Five takes control to remind her she’s not always the one in charge.

---

🌀When She’s Deployed (aka “Plan D Activated”):

* Five’s coat is torn, Diego’s unconscious, Viktor’s spent, and it’s looking grim.

* She casually walks onto the battlefield, barefoot, sipping tea.

> Her (to Five):“You look like hell.”

> Five (bleeding): “Took you long enough.”

> Her (smirking): “Gotta keep my dramatic timing, babe.”

And then? All hell breaks loose—in her favor. She flash steps through enemies like lightning, the sky splits, the ground cracks, and Five just watches, impressed and turned on all at once.

---

🛏️ Spicy Bonus:

* She whispers lightning-hot things in his ear that make his powers glitch.

* She’ll flash step behind him in nothing but his dress shirt and say,

> “Time travel this, baby.”

* He pretends to groan but he’s already teleporting her to the bedroom.

---

TL;DR:

She’s your cool, terrifyingly powerful, thigh-high-wearing goddess of war. She’s calm, cocky, sensual, and lethal. Everyone’s terrified and in love with her.

Five? He gets the best version of her—raw, real, and just chaotic enough to keep up.

[definitelynothim-notalex]

Anywaysss

---

Everyone’s just standing there, kinda awkward, like:

Marko:“Uh... where’d David go?”

Paul:“He was right here a sec ago...”

Dwayne:“I swear I heard some weird noises.”

Star:“Some very suspicious noises.”

Then bam, they stroll back like nothing happened, but:

* David’s neck is literally a mosaic of dark hickeys and sloppy kiss marks, some clearly freshly smeared.

* His jawline and cheeks are covered in little lipstick-shaped smudges that look like a chaotic lipstick massacre.

* His hair’s a little mussed, like someone got a little too enthusiastic.

* He’s trying *so hard* to play it cool, but there’s a slow grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.

* His eyes flicker between sheepish and smug.

Marko: “Dude, what the hell happened?”

David (deadpan): “She... uh... got a little carried away.”

Paul (laughing): “Carried away? Bruh, that’s a whole crime scene.”

Dwayne (teasing):“Looks like she made you her canvas.”

Star (mock serious):“I’m gonna need the full report. For science.”

David just shrugs, *half-trying* to cover the marks with his collar, but failing miserably.

David (muttering): “She said I was ‘too serious’ and needed to lighten up...”

The boys just share a knowing look like, Yep, that’s our David alright.

[definitelynothim-notalex]

The lost boys, star, Michael x Character that's like Tarzan?

🌿 Lost Boys, Star, & Michael x Tarzan-like Reader Headcanons

(Think wild, strong, agile, raised in nature, barely understands modern tech, but hot and endearing as hell)

---

🦇 David:

* Immediately intrigued by your animalistic instincts and control.

* Loves watching you *climb trees like a panther*, drop from rooftops silently, or take down threats without hesitation.

* Tries to teach you about civilization, but secretly prefers you *just the way you are*.

* “You’re untamed… I like that.”

* Lowkey possessive when others stare at you in awe for your raw beauty and strength.

---

🦇 Dwayne:

* You two bond over nature, silence, and observation.

* You perch on high ledges or hang upside down beside him like a bat and just... vibe.

* He admires how you *move like a shadow*—so fluid, so instinctive.

* Dwayne starts communicating in grunts and body language just for fun and you're like, “He gets it.”

---

🦇 Paul:

* Constantly trying to teach you slang: “No, babe—*this* is how you say ‘radical.’”

* Calls you “my jungle queen” or “Tarz-y Baby.”

* You once *climbed him like a tree* to steal a snack and he never recovered.

* Is obsessed with watching you hunt or chase—calls you a “hot predator.”

---

🦇 Marko:

* Marko joins you in the trees and rooftops like it’s a game of jungle tag.

* Encourages your feral energy, and even *draws you crouching on a tree limb like a wildcat*.

* “Babe, let’s go mess with tourists and leap out like monkeys.”

* You're his little chaos creature, and he’s 100% down to be your jungle jester.

---

🧛‍♂️ Michael:

* Flustered constantly.

* *You saved him once by swinging in, grabbing his waist, and flipping off a ledge*. Man blushed for DAYS.

* Tries to teach you TV, phones, or cereal—ends up with a remote in the freezer and cereal poured on a plate.

* “You’re… amazing. Wild, but… amazing.”

---

🌟 Star:

* You remind her what freedom looks like.

* She brushes leaves from your hair and softly laughs when you hiss at her curling iron.

* Teaches you makeup and clothes—you bite lipstick tubes like snacks at first.

* “You’re wild, but there’s beauty in your chaos.”

---

🐾 Bonus Moments:

* You *leap across rooftops barefoot*, giving David competition in stealth.

* You *hiss at vacuum cleaners* and want to fight the microwave.

* When threatened, you snarl, crouch, and your eyes flash like a true beast—your boys are both turned on and terrified.

* You sleep curled up *on top of them*, limbs everywhere.

---

[definitelynothim-notalex]

Ngl y'all.. I CANNOT STAND reading any headcanons/fics where the tags says "[character] x reader" ... If it's x reader.. then why tf is it a self insert??? I'M NOT YOU , YOU ARE NOT ME. WE ARE NOT THE SAME 😭 maybe we are and i just dont know it yet 😝😋 BUT STILL.

Heres a lil tiktok for y'all

Credits to evastatic on tiktok :] i love my baby boy marko <3

Oh and same for character x oc even though they used character x reader tags.. please just..just stop :> thank you 🥲

Also I need more asks 😒 like cmon y'all. Use them brains you guys got, gimme smth juicy to write🤨🙄

[definitelynothim-notalex]

---

David x Werewolf!Reader Headcanons

- David knew you weren’t normal from the start.

- The way you carried yourself, the barely restrained aggression under your polite smiles.

- “There’s a storm in you, sweetheart. I can feel it.”

- The first time you shifted, it wasn’t planned.

- You got cornered by a group of hunters on the edge of Santa Carla.

- David found you mid-shift, bloodied and feral — and instead of fear, his reaction was pure fascination.

- “Well, aren’t you a beautiful little monster,” he’d purr, completely unphased.

- Your supernatural rivalry turns into playful taunts.

- He calls you *“pup”*, *“dog girl”*, or *“alpha bitch”* to get under your skin.

- You respond by threatening to chew through his leather jacket.

- Feral make-out sessions after a hunt are a thing.

- Claws, fangs, blood-stained kisses.

- Neither of you knowing where the dominance play stops and actual feelings start.

- You run together at night — him on his bike, you in wolf form keeping pace beside him.

- It makes him grin like the predator he is.

- Constant bragging contests about whose supernatural powers are better.

- “I can smell a lie from a mile away.”

- “Yeah? I can make you beg with a look.”

- Intense possessiveness on both sides.

- David doesn’t like other wolves sniffing around you.

- You can’t stand the human groupies following him on the boardwalk.

- The pack and the Lost Boys don’t always get along, but no one dares challenge your bond.

- “Touch her, and you’ll find out if vampires can survive a werewolf’s bite,” you once growled at Dwayne.

- David secretly loved it.

- You two are chaos incarnate at parties.

- Blood, booze, broken hearts, and full moons.

- Deep down, there’s a weird, unspoken respect.

- You’re both apex predators in your own right — and damn if it isn’t intoxicating.

---

[definitelynothim-notalex]

The lost boys plus star and micheal x reader whos based off of keisha from the chi

- The boys admire how strong and smart you are without needing to show off.

- David likes your confidence and how you speak your mind.

- Paul’s drawn to your mix of fun, chill energy and no-nonsense attitude.

- Marko thinks you’re cool as hell, loves how you don’t take crap from anyone.

- Dwayne appreciates your loyalty to your loved ones and how you always look out for people.

- Star feels instantly connected to you — you’re both protective and stubborn in your own ways.

- Michael finds your calm but firm vibe comforting, especially when things get messy.

- They all respect how you carry yourself and the way you handle tough situations.

- The boys lowkey fight over who gets to ride on the back of your bike or hang out one-on-one.

- You don’t let them get away with dumb stuff, and they secretly love it.

[definitelynothim-notalex]

The cave was lit in soft candlelight, shadows moving like predators against stone walls. Dwayne stood by the water’s edge, the glow of the moon catching the edges of his dark curls, shirt undone, chest bare and scarred from centuries of hunger and war.

You came to him like sin on legs — tight black lace barely hiding anything, crimson lips smudged from your last hunt. His eyes locked on you, deep and dark like a storm about to snap.

“You gonna just stare, or you gonna handle me like I know you want to?” you taunted, voice thick and sweet like poisoned honey.

Dwayne was on you in seconds, one hand around your throat, pressing you to the cold stone wall, the other sliding up your thigh. His lips crushed yours — no patience, no sweetness, just teeth, blood, and heat. You moaned into his mouth as his fangs dragged against your bottom lip, drawing just enough blood for him to taste.

“Little tease,” he growled against your skin, his voice low and guttural. “You’ve been strutting around this place like you aren’t begging for it.”

You smirked, rolling your hips against him, feeling the thick, hard press of him through his jeans. “Then do something about it.”

And he did. Fast, filthy, and desperate. He spun you around, pushing you down to brace your hands against the rough stone. You arched your back, presenting yourself like the wicked thing you were, and Dwayne didn’t hesitate.

His fingers slid under the lace of your panties, dragging them down just enough before he shoved inside you in one deep, brutal thrust that made your knees buckle.

“Fuck—” you gasped, head falling back as he filled you, the stretch perfect, the pace unforgiving. His hand tangled in your hair, yanking your head back so his fangs could drag along your throat, teasing the skin he planned to claim.

The slap of skin on skin echoed in the lair, the others long gone or too afraid to interrupt. Dwayne fucked you like he owned you, like he needed to break you apart to put you back together.

“Mine,” he snarled into your ear. “Say it.”

You moaned, your voice wrecked and breathless. “Yours… always yours.”

His other hand slid around to play with your clit, the rough calluses on his fingers pushing you closer to the edge. You sobbed out his name, body burning, skin damp with sweat, the mixture of pain and pleasure blissfully unbearable.

When you came, it was violent, your whole body seizing as a scream ripped from your throat. Dwayne followed, biting down hard on your neck as he spilled inside you, his growl vibrating through your bones.

You collapsed together, your breathing ragged, the taste of blood and sweat thick in the air.

“I’m not done with you,” he warned, lips curling into a wicked smirk as his fingers traced lazy patterns over your hips.

“Good,” you purred. “I don’t want you to be.”

Because with Dwayne, one round was never enough.

---

[definitelynothim-notalex]

Marko/Paul x Bill/Ted (platonic cross over)

---

Marko & Paul x Bill & Ted (Platonic Crossover Headcanons)

Setting:Late night at the boardwalk, 1987. Lights buzzing, arcade machines humming, trouble brewing.

---

- Marko and Paul spot these two dudes arguing over a broken vending machine.

Bill and Ted are slapping the side of it like it’ll magically fix itself.

Paul (grinning, nudging Marko):

"Dude… check these guys out. They look like they fell outta a cereal commercial."

Marko (laughing, fangs barely showing):

"Bet you five bucks they say ‘most excellent’ in the next ten seconds."

- Before the bet even finishes, Ted shouts:

"Most excellent, Bill — free candy!"

Paul:

"Pay up."

---

- They end up bonding over music.

Turns out Bill and Ted are hunting for good spots to start their band Wyld Stallyns.

Marko and Paul offer them a shady part of the boardwalk for a midnight jam session.

Bill:

"Whoa, you guys look totally radical. Like a couple of vampire rockers!"

Marko (winking):

"You have no idea, man."

Paul (grinning, strumming a random guitar he probably stole):

"Let’s make it a party."

---

- Marko and Ted hit it off instantly.

Both chaotic, both slightly airheaded, both love pulling dumb pranks on people.

Marko:

"Bro, ever put ketchup packets under a toilet seat?"

Ted:

"Dude! That’s genius!"

- Meanwhile, Paul and Bill are deep in conversation about the best guitar riffs ever made.

Both getting way too passionate about a random Van Halen tape.

Paul:

"You gotta feel it in your soul, man. Like — bam — you’re alive!"

Bill:

"Righteous!"

---

- Dwayne shows up at some point, broody as always.

Bill and Ted think he’s the coolest, mysterious band manager type.

Ted (whispering to Bill):

"He totally looks like he could play bass for us."

Dwayne (dryly):

"I don’t play bass."

Ted:

"Whoa."

---

- David? David hates them.

Won’t say a word, just stares, cigarette burning low.

Bill:

"Is your blond friend okay? He looks like he wants to, like… murder us."

Marko (cheerful):

"He always looks like that."

---

- They part ways at dawn, promising to meet again for a totally tubular jam session.

Bill and Ted ride off in the time-traveling phone booth, nearly crashing into a trash can.

Paul:

"I liked those guys."

Marko:

"Same. Weird as hell."

Dwayne (mutters):

"They’ll probably die in a week."

David (snuffing his cigarette):

"If we're lucky."

---

[definitelynothim-notalex]

The Easter Bunny coming to see David and his reaction 😂

---

Headcanons: The Easter Bunny Pays David a Visit

- The boardwalk’s quiet tonight.

David’s leaned against his bike, cigarette burning between his fingers, watching the crowds thin out. He’s got that steady, unreadable stare — calm but dangerous.

- Then from the shadows… a giant fuzzy-ass Easter Bunny mascot lumbers into view.

Fur’s kinda grimy, one ear flopped over. Carrying a basket full of plastic eggs.

David (low, voice sharp like a blade):

"The hell is this supposed to be?"

- The Bunny hops over to him, dead silent, and holds out an egg.

It’s sparkly pink. Kinda insulting.

David (narrowing his eyes, flicking his cigarette away):

"You got about five seconds to disappear, fuzzball."

- Marko’s already snickering from the side.

Marko:

"C’mon, Dave — it’s the Easter Bunny! Might have somethin�� good in there."

Paul (buzzed off his ass on something herbal, grinning huge):

"Yeah, man… could be a little treat! Don’t be such a grump."

- David glares at them both, but snatches the egg from the bunny anyway.

He pops it open, fully expecting something weird — and a puff of goddamn glitter explodes in his face.

David (standing there, deadpan, glitter stuck in his lashes and hair):

"You’re real brave for a guy in a suit."

- The Bunny honks its nose at him.

David (voice like a knife to the throat):

"Run."

- The Bunny bolts down the boardwalk. Marko’s laughing so hard he’s doubled over, and Paul’s wiping tears from his eyes.

Marko:

"You look beautiful, Dave!"

Paul:

"Yeah, sparkle king!"

David (voice cold, dangerous but calm):

"Next one of you that says a word… I’m shoving you in a dumpster."

- Dwayne just gives a rare smirk from the shadows.

Dwayne:

"Happy Easter, David."

David:

"F*** Easter."

---

Perfect ending:

That damn bunny’s head gets mysteriously found floating in the ocean the next night. No one talks about it.

---

[definitelynothim-notalex]

Paul stumbles upon colorful eggs on the ground. Maybe he shows Dwayne

(oh a egg, ooh another treat, and another and another)

(Paul is super high too lol)

---

Lost Boys Headcanon: Super High Paul’s Egg Hunt

- Paul is so blazed he’s seeing colors that don’t even exist. He’s vibing through the cave with his headphones on, eyes half-lidded, giggling at dust particles in the air.

Paul (snickering to himself): “Heh… that one looked like a tiny ghost.”

- Then he spots it.

A shiny, glittery, plastic egg on the floor.

Paul (gasps dramatically):“Bro… it’s an Easter miracle. In f**king August.”

- He picks it up, shakes it. It rattles. His high brain is already convinced it’s full of "magical space dust."

Paul: “This is it. My destiny.”

- Opens it. It’s literally one Skittle.

He stares at it like it holds the secrets of the universe.

Paul:“Yo, little dude… what’s your story?”

Then he eats it.

Paul (after chewing): “I can taste… colors.”

---

- The egg trail starts.

And super high Paul is full-on narrating to himself like a nature doc.

Paul: *“And here we see… the rare, elusive rainbow egg migrating to its nesting grounds…”

- He’s crawling on all fours now.

Picking up every egg. Giggling like a madman.

Paul (at a pink egg): “Ooh, this one’s blushing! Scandalous.”

---

- Drags Dwayne into it again.

Only this time, Paul’s eyes are so glassy he looks like a stoned golden retriever.

Paul (grabbing Dwayne’s arm): “BRO. IT’S THE UNIVERSE. SHE LEFT ME CLUES.”

Dwayne: “Paul, what the f**k are you on right now.”

Paul (grinning huge):“A little of this, a little of that. C’mon man, you gotta see this egg with the glitter. It called me ‘champ’ bro.”

Dwayne (already regretting everything): “You are so damn high.”

---

- By the time David shows up, Paul’s covered in glitter, giggling in a pile of eggs, holding one to his ear.

David: “…Paul.”

Paul: “SHHHH. I’m listening for the ocean.”

David: “It’s a plastic egg.”

Paul: “The ocean of the MIND, bro.”

---

- Star’s in the back losing her sh*t.

Marko runs in, sees Paul crawling around, and immediately joins without question.

Marko: “Yo, what are we doing?”

Paul: “Egg quest, bro. FOR GLORY.”

Marko: “Hell yeah.”

---

Dwayne leaves. David bans glitter and mystery Skittles.

Paul and Marko make egg helmets and declare themselves “Egg Kings.”

Paul’s still high two nights later, convinced one of the eggs whispered the meaning of life to him.

---

[definitelynothim-notalex]

Lost Boys x Chel-Coded Reader Headcanons

David:

Immediately obsessed.

Loves your sharp wit, sneaky ways, and the way you flirt with danger like it’s nothing.

Watches you steal stuff right under people’s noses and just smirks like “That’s my girl.”

Admires how you’re always one step ahead.

The type to lean in close, smirking while you tease him, fully knowing he’s about to fall for your tricks again.

Possessive as hell when other guys flirt with you, though.

Dwayne:

Tries to play it cool but secretly enchanted by your confidence and fire.

Lowkey loves when you sass him.

Gets a little smug when you sneak up behind him and steal stuff from his pocket just to mess with him.

Always has his hands on you, pulling you onto his lap to keep you close.

Protective when shit gets serious.

Marko:

Unhinged partners-in-crime energy.

Constantly stealing snacks, jewelry, clothes, whatever — for fun.

You two are a chaotic, flirty, kleptomaniac menace.

Marko loves how you’re dummy thick and isn’t shy about smacking your ass in public.

“Goddamn, you make being bad look good.”

Paul:

Absolutely head over heels.

“Bro, she’s so hot it hurts.”

You tease him constantly and he loves every second of it.

Paul is a sucker for your flirtatious taunts and your thick thighs.

Encourages your chaos like “Yeah babe, take his wallet too!”

Michael:

At first, he’s like woah, she’s a lot.

But ends up lowkey crushing hard.

Blushes every time you call him “handsome” and pinch his cheek.

Tries to act responsible but will totally help you sneak stuff when nobody’s looking.

Star:

Loves your queen energy.

Becomes your bestie instantly.

You two hype each other up constantly.

She’s the only one who can keep up with your sneaky plans.

Both of you tease the boys relentlessly.

Bonus: The Boys Watching You Walk Away:

Absolute silence.

Eyes glued.

Marko: “I’d die for her.”

Paul: “I’d kill for her.”

Dwayne: “I’d do both.”

David: “I already claimed her.”

.

[definitelynothim-notalex]

---

Reader vs. Marko’s Ass Headcanons

- Marko’s strutting around the cave, probably talking shit to Paul or stealing one of Dwayne’s records.

- You sneak up behind him, all mischievous grin, and SMACK! — right on that perfect denim-clad ass.

- Marko yelps, turns around ready to snap, but before he can, you grab him by the hips and pull him flush against you.

- You lean in with a sultry grin and whisper, "Hey, babydoll."

- Marko’s brain bluescreens for a second.

- He stares at you, then that cocky grin of his spreads across his face.

- “Damn, babe… you tryna start somethin’?”

- David snorts from the couch. “You asked for that, Marko.”

- Paul’s egging it on like, “Do it again, do it again!”

- You? You squeeze his hips, wink, and stroll away like nothing happened.

- Marko’s left standing there, flustered and turned on.

- “I swear to god, one day I’m gonna marry that woman.”

---

[definitelynothim-notalex]

---

Lost Boys + Star + Michael x Reader | Towel Trend TikTok Headcanons (You should all know what trend I'm talking about)

David:

- Sees you standing there in just a towel and immediately stiffens.

- The moment you start peeling it down, he teleports across the room and yanks it back up.

- “The fuck do you think you’re doing?!”

- Turns into a possessive menace for the rest of the night.

- Deletes the video off your phone.

Dwayne:

- Eyes go wide for a second but stays cool.

- As soon as you start lowering the towel, he calmly walks up behind you and wraps his jacket around you like, “Not happening, sweetheart.”

- Lowkey amused you even tried it on him.

Marko:

- Loses his MIND.

- “HOLY SHIT—BABE, WHAT?!”

- Tackles you to the couch while laughing like an idiot.

- “Not letting TikTok see what’s mine!”

- Rewatches the video 15 times just to see his own reaction.

Paul:

- Starts hooting and hollering like he’s at a strip club.

- “Daaaamn, baby!”

- But the second it looks like you’ll actually drop it?

- “WHOA WHOA WHOA—NOPE!” and pulls you into his lap, towel and all.

- Wants a private show later though.

Michael:

- Gets immediately flustered.

- Face red as hell, tries to act chill.

- “You—you better not be filming this for real.”

- Rushes over and pulls the towel back up, totally panicking.

- “Only I get to see that, okay?!”

Star:

- Smirks knowingly from the start.

- Watches the boys lose their shit with total satisfaction.

- “You guys are so predictable.”

- Joins you in making a duo towel video later just to torment them all.

You:

- Living for the chaos.

- Laughing your ass off while they scramble.

- Absolutely planning the next trend to mess with them.

---