deritosmi - Tumblr blog

[deritosmi]

do not use betterhelp. do not support betterhelp. do not believe betterhelp.

they:

-do not vet their therapists

-forcefully shut down negative commentary

-lie to therapists

-lie to consumers

-trap therapists in exploitative contracts

-sells users data

etc

[deritosmi]

The beach that makes you old

[deritosmi]

all relationships are a two way street but for some reason people pretend this doesn’t apply to parents and their kids

[deritosmi]

I think of this twitter interaction at least 6 times a day. do you remember how we used to run?

[deritosmi]

follow forthefuns for more funny stuff

[deritosmi]

I am NOT anime… I AM A TRUE KOREAN…YEONG-WONHI….YEONG-WONHI!!!!!

[deritosmi]

One of the things that makes arguing with men so much more draining than arguing with women is the unequal distribution of credibility and contribution.

Somehow, whenever I argue with men, it always falls upon me to both prove my own claims, and to disprove his, while he does neither; his only obligation seemingly to dole out whatever ungrounded assertions he conjures up on the spot. Somehow, it is always wordlessly established that anything I say is false until proven true, while anything he says is true until proven false.

This same dynamic happened again over on tiktok, when a man claimed women are just as violent as men. Automatically, almost as if by muscle memory, I offered up the usual statistics on male depravity: men constituting 99% of rapists, 99% of mass shooters, 98% of killers, 95% of serious domestic abusers. And his only response was to say those statistics were wrong. No elaboration; wrong simply because he said so.

I already knew how the entire conversation would pan out: I’d give him my source, he’d find a reason to discredit the source, then I’d scour the internet to find a source that suited his standards, which he’d inevitably find a reason to discredit too.

So instead I simply said, “Prove the statistics are wrong.” And that was the only thing I responded with henceforth: prove it, prove I’m wrong, prove you’re right. Thus reversing the dynamics and positing that anything I said was true unless he demonstrated otherwise; unduly putting all the onus on him while I did nothing other than decide whether he was convincing me of claims thoroughly enough—and if he wasn’t, it just meant I was winning, of course.

He blocked me, and so far so have all the other men I’ve used this approach on. I don’t know whether it’s because they couldn’t actually disprove my claims or because they couldn’t stand to be treated the same way they treat women in debates. But I think more women should do this. Stop wasting energy proving your points to men, and start making them prove theirs to you.

[deritosmi]

sometimes people are wrong about a thing or ignore a thing while trying to make a debate and it makes me sad haaaaughhh please stop you need to remember nuance I can’t take you seriously oh gosh….. aughhhh…… please be more critical you’re so close to being right muuughhh…..

[deritosmi]

I like respecting trans people and I think everyone should do that because it makes life better

[deritosmi]

I've been slowly learning to reclaim things that I love for myself. So many of my hobbies and passions are tainted by history: piano was forced upon me as a child and was a huge source of trauma by itself, dance was fun until my teacher started shit talking me about my weight, even photography sucks because it's something my parents enjoyed and god forbid I turn out anything like them.

But I'm teaching myself to decouple the past from these activities. I acknowledge the trauma associated with piano, and also that I miss playing pieces I enjoy. I allow myself time to hammer around when I can and to take breaks as long as I need to, to make the music making enjoyable in a way it never was for me as a child. I learn new dances from youtube, and giggle when I get the moves right. I still can't record myself, but I'm re-learning that my body shape has nothing to do with my ability. And while I still don't take a lot of pictures, the people around me do and I'm starting to associate picture taking with them instead of my parents. I guess this, too, is a part of healing.

[deritosmi]

Bro balls collection part 1

[deritosmi]

oh no no it was official. Nevermind again

woops neeevermind that wasn’t official content that was fan work made by a very talented person

[deritosmi]

woops neeevermind that wasn’t official content that was fan work made by a very talented person

[deritosmi]

I was looking for ace attorney graphics for my spacehey profile and found these, they made me laugh like really hard for some reason

[deritosmi]

it’s so fun just like vroom vroom vrrrooooom beep beep im driving in my car 😄

I have GOT to get less scared of driving

[deritosmi]

[deritosmi]

felt the need to share my vision