desk-kun

[desk-kun]

Existential despair is so common in a person's twenties, I think, because up until that point, we've had a pretty clear road map for what's expected of us and we haven't had much reason to question that map. There are still a few milestones outlined for us (start a career, get married, make babies) but more and more young people are entering the post-school world and realizing:

A) that career thing just isn't happening like they said it would

B) I'm not ready to get married/I don't want to get married/marriage isn't the sort of life-altering event that it used to be

C) I'm not ready to make babies/I don't want a baby/I can't afford to raise children right now (see point A)

And in the absence of these milestones to shoot for (which one could argue weren't the promise of fulfillment they claimed to be in the first place), what we're left with is this aimless abyss of "the rest of our lives" sprawling out ahead of us with no indication of how it will go or what we should be doing to shape it. Young people start their first jobs, find they hate them, and think to themselves, "Is this it? Am I just supposed to do this job until I'm too old to do it or die first?"

Which is, yeah, really fucking depressing!! So here's my best attempt at an alternate roadmap for young people that don't vibe with the old model. Please feel free to add in your own suggestions!

Learn how you work and what you want out of a job. Unless you've been in a job-specific training program that gives you hands-on experience, your first jobs should be experiments. Learn how a full-time job feels for you, what elements are more or less difficult. Different workplaces have different cultures and expectations - what do you need out of a job environment? Do you need to find fulfillment in your job or is it enough for it to pay the bills and leave you time to find outside fulfillment? Do you want to climb a corporate ladder or are you content to hunker down as long as your bills get paid? This period of experimentation is exhausting and may feel like it's consuming your whole life.

Learn how to make time for things outside of work. Adapting to a full-time work environment often leaves you feeling so drained that you can't do anything but go home and collapse on the couch every day. That's fine - for a little while. But it can also become a habit. You need to learn how to do things after work or you'll go crazy. Go to a trivia night. Start an exercise schedule. Take a class in your community. Find volunteer work. Join a band. You will find that putting more things into your day makes you feel like you have more time, not less.

Find a community. Making friends as an adult can feel impossible. Where do you find these mysterious friends everyone seems to have?? This goes along with #2, though. As you start regularly attending the same activities, you will find that repeat interactions with the same people turn into friendships or at least friendly acquaintances. Say yes to invitations. Get involved in your local community. Strive to be connected enough to bump into people at the grocery store.

Unlearn bad lessons. We all internalize some messed up things when we're growing up. As you start off your adult life, that's the time to actively work at unpacking the things you've brought with you from childhood and deciding which things are helping you and which things are harming you. This might mean therapy or joining a spiritual group or reading new things or just making special time to be in your own head.

Learn the lessons you missed. In this, I mostly mean practical things. "Adulting." Areas of your day-to-day practical life that are causing you extreme stress are probably related to a knowledge or experience gap. Do you hate cooking and cleaning or were you not taught how to do it properly? Are you afraid of making medical appointments or is it just something new you're not used to? Does money make you queasy or do you need to learn how to make a budget?

Find something fulfilling. This can be your job. It can be volunteer work. It can be faith. It can be a hobby. It can be creating things. It can be challenging yourself physically. It can be activism. It can be going for walks in nature. Everyone finds fulfillment in different places. If you're not finding it where you are, look somewhere else.

[desk-kun]

🍋 adulting diaries // how i'm learning to love my life again ⛅

these aren't things that you just do once and then you're done — you'll never feel trapped or lonely or insecure ever again. life happens, we get waylaid. so gently remind yourself too, "again and again and again, i will come back to love" 💛

🪟 listen to your body

✨ it's really difficult to get to a good place emotionally without getting to a good place physically, which isn't to say it's impossible, there are just some ways you can make things a little easier for yourself:

sleep early (at least before midnight) 💤

don't stay in bed if you're awake — get up and start your day slowly opening your mind to new possibilities 😌

don't just go through the motions of your personal grooming — look yourself in the mirror and appreciate the details only you possess 😍

eat breakfast!!! don't start your day hangry or... sangry? (what's the word for sad and hungry?)

🤝 do something you're interested in with other people

✨ even if you don't have time for your hobbies during the week, "interest" can also be defined as "having a vested interest in" and this mindset shift alone can work wonders.

attend focus groups or town halls to participate in improving the quality of life at your institution, company, department, and/or neighborhood

if no such meeting exists, take the initiative to gather a group of friends/colleagues to hang or even hash out a collective issue

the point is to engage socially (giving good reactions to others more extroverted than yourself is also engaging!) to give yourself an opportunity to feel like part of a community

💝 invest in yourself

✨ the more time and effort you put into something the more you come to value it. this is the psychology of commitment, so why not commit to yourself?

do a workout that makes you feel strong, powerful, and healthy 💪

gain clarity by journaling, talking to a therapist or someone you trust, or meditating

advocate for yourself — put yourself up for a promotion/award/job opportunity, go to an event and introduce yourself to new people, and in doing so, remember that other people's reaction to you doesn't matter half as much as the fact that YOU see the value in yourself enough to put yourself forward

nourish your mind — read a book, learn a new skill or practice an old one, be observant of others and your surroundings

💌: i hope these help you as they've helped me 💐 how do you show love to yourself and your life?

[desk-kun]

At some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening.

Unknown (via thoughtkick)

[desk-kun]

[desk-kun]

Sunshine Protector (Then & Now)

[desk-kun]

Here I’ve created a list of the most popular websites a programmer should visit. You’ll be amazed to see all the pages and blogs that can help you to get and share the knowledge just for free. Read more http://bit.ly/37rLdbo

[desk-kun]

[desk-kun]

just a little something I wrote, drew, and put together

[desk-kun]

My current study set up, completely ignoring the desk in my room to sit on the couch.

What motivates you to learn? I'm very competitive and knowing my friend is learning German motivates me because I feel like I have to learn it better and faster 😅

[desk-kun]

I'll never not obsess over making pretty notes.

[desk-kun]

STEM DARK ACADEMIA

I'm a little upset at the lack of stem in dark academia, so here's my list of aesthetic science things, STEM ACADEMIA (dark edition)

• relating a little too much to the mad scientist trope (and telling everyone "no, no I would never do anything like that, I just want to help people" but like imagine if we could resurrect people

• rereading Frankenstein every year, specifically in the month of october

• "why is STEAM a thing?? Art? who that?"

• minoring in classics because you still like mythology and history and reading

• finding the science in art (why things make you feel a certain way, how they do that, what effect they've had on health and medicine) and finding the art in science (isn't it incredible that dna knows how to tell plant cells to break down chlorophyll and this makes the gorgeous fall colors)

• reading every book that mentions at all a scientist or has a character who is interested in stem (they are few and far between)

• enjoying the structure of math and engineering but thriving off the chaos that is science

• where are the mad scientist women? I need this

• people being surprised when you tell them you're majoring in something "really science-y" after being an absolute bookworm and musician all throughout your childhood and having to defend what your heart desires (no? just me?)

• CARDIGANS are peak stem culture

• "why aren't you a doctor? why aren't you going to med school? why are you doing insert reasonable science degree here and not becoming a doctor? don't you want to help people?"

• wanting to go into genetics but wanting to go into botany but wanting to go into theoretical physics but wanting to go into astronomy but wanting to go into geology but wanting to go into chemical engineering but wanting to go into astrophysics but wanting to go into wildlife biology

• for some reason having a huge obsession with morals, ethics, and philosophy

• watching true crime just for the forensic bits

• watching mythbusters as a kid

• LISTENING TO TCHAIKOVSKY, BEETHOVEN, BACH, AND MOZART those are the stem classical musicians change my mind

• doing all your homework and frying your brain then getting to read a simple book that really refreshes you

• you had the astronomy and archaeology obsession as a kid

• listening to synth wave instrumentals

• MITOCHONDRIA IS THE POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL

• when people tell you that one cool science fact they learned and you try your hardest to encourage them but girl that wasn't even close to being correct

• ScienceDirect and PubMed are your go-to databases

• having lots of intrusive, existential thoughts that sometimes suffocate you, because you know better than most how much dark dna there is or how small we really are in the universe or knowing how much math explains and how little room there is for free will or thinking about how we are made up of mostly four types of atoms

• reading science or math textbooks for fun

• reading the fountainhead by ayn rand when you were way too young and didn't understand it but now parts of it emerge from the depths of your memory and you are struck by the power

• watching marvel and x-men and jurassic park just because

• reading sci-fi because it's the closest thing to real science in literature

• knowing a little too much about radiation poisoning and how to really dissolve a body in chemicals

• wearing white to make up for how little your professors make you wear lab coats

(sorry, I don't know that much about technology and I'm a literal grandpa when it comes to using it myself)

[desk-kun]

🌟 Aesthetic 🌟

I've always loved taking pretty notes, it feels more intentional and I swear I remember it better and am more motivated to study those notes.

[desk-kun]

Women in science

[desk-kun]

The life of a coder, demystified. 🔎🕵🏼 💻

[desk-kun]

“Coding is the language of the future, and every girl should learn it. As I’ve learned from watching girls grow and learn in our classrooms, coding is fun, collaborative and creative.”

-Reshma Saujani

Want to learn to code? Check out my masterpost!

[desk-kun]

Women: we need to support girls in stem early White Man: we need to just say everyone is welcome and support everyone together Women: but that doesnt work, minority groups need extra attention because there are societal issues from infancy telling them they aren’t expected in stem White Man: *continues to argue*

[desk-kun]

GET TO KNOW ME ♡ AESTHETICS MEME: 8/10 Female Characters

Isadora Smackle

“I also learned that if you get swept up about what you are on the outside, you can lose who you are on the inside. Even though it is easy to be fooled by the beauty of the Trojan Horse, its real power comes from the army within. Intelligence, compassion, integrity, courage. That army is the real you. No matter what you look like. So, even though beauty may be skin deep, beauty is nowhere near as important as the army inside. And I’ll try not to forget that.