destinesia-hiraeth - Tumblr blog

[destinesia-hiraeth]

she was just a little silly

[destinesia-hiraeth]

I'm starting to forget your face in my dreams

[destinesia-hiraeth]

> be missing for the entirety of your series' timeskip

> finally appears, caked out and ready to give his wife a hand

> leaves

> gets put on the volume cover

[destinesia-hiraeth]

new genre of favourite character: normally apathetic teenager who gets absolutely unhinged when in the presence of dangerous substances

[destinesia-hiraeth]

Dad couldn't have picked a more worst time to die. I would've been less mad if he kicked the bucket on my birthday.

[destinesia-hiraeth]

i said it was my favorite piece of media that i’ve hyperfixated on since the tender age of 12 and have not let go of since. i didnt say it was a Good piece of media

[destinesia-hiraeth]

When you prepare yourself to be met with everything but kindness and understanding

[destinesia-hiraeth]

"you can't summarize undead unluck's plot with one image"

[destinesia-hiraeth]

Meeting you in my dreams used to be so worrying but now I enjoy it, the only time I can talk to you

[destinesia-hiraeth]

Sitting in court for my mother's custody battle while texting my sister to plan for my father's funeral. Would never wish this kind of pain on my worst enemy

[destinesia-hiraeth]

Received the best news I'll hear in months, and the worst news I'll hear in my entire life.

[destinesia-hiraeth]

To hell with 2023, it was just one thing after another for real. But now, end of the year, we're finally moving into something good, finally moving into some peace

[destinesia-hiraeth]

[destinesia-hiraeth]

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It's funny, the way I eat my own words. There really is never such thing as a permanent state of self. So when you change, change for the better.

[destinesia-hiraeth]

I tried turning back into the version of me that I recognised the most and realised a little too late that I actually liked the new version I was stepping into. Having the chance to return home I decided I wanted to be the old me, I cut my hair off and dyed it an outrageous colour and as I stood in the mirror looking at myself waiting for that "now this is me" feeling to kick in. It never came and was instead replaced with a tinge of sadness.

The girl I was supposed to recognise was childish and just wanted to goof off but was actually an extreme workaholic and would rather watch her physical health decline rather than her bank account. She was very tired. And I was her for a very long time.

Instead as it turns out, adapting to my new circumstances I liked the person I was becoming, I liked the way I looked. I enjoyed just having my natural hair colour and growing it out. And I like working the night shifts because it gives me the time during the day. And I thought I was getting bored but now I realise I'm finally becoming a little more stable and a little more mature.

I don't regret trying to change back, but now I know and I understand a little bit better. I want to be the new me, the new person I was just coming into and was afraid of. I'm reframing this as a little last hurrah, a little tribute to the person I was.

And going forward, I hope to recognise the next time I'm changing again, the next time I evolve so I'm not scared of the process.

[destinesia-hiraeth]

As it turns out, changing is a painful progress