devi-devu-deva - Tumblr blog

[devi-devu-deva]

I don’t know how many of you have felt this!

This feeling of numbness, fear, and uncertainty when you are sitting idle or taking rest.

Is it this corona or is it just that I’m ageing? Even when I have completed all my work, don’t have anything big planned for the next working day, I get this feeling that I’ve forgotten something! I imagine things and make myself pictured in those uncertain situations! I get more tensed on a slow business week, than when I’m swamped!

Is this overthinking? Lying down and cooking up all those unbelievable situations in my mind has become my forte now! I find comfort in solving those imaginary problems and dealing with those imaginary situations. I feel like a warrior who has built her unreal kingdom, rule her non-existent problems and pretend to be something that she isn’t!

#uncertainty #life

[devi-devu-deva]

One year of Work From Home (WFH)

A year! I mean, seriously?! On 8 March 2020, when I boarded that train home, not even in my wildest dreams thought that I would be staying inside the four walls for almost a year! I still remember saying to my aunty that I would visit her the next week!

A lot changed over a year! From trying weird hairstyles, entering the kitchen, waking up ten minutes before the shift, to gaining weight, life isn’t the same anymore! My world got shrunk to my home - 4 humans, a table, a chair, a bed, and some plants. Now, after being so comfortable staying inside, I get chills when I see people! The thought of going back to office makes me anxious about so many things - how to behave in an office ambience; how to wake up every day and dress up as I have become so comfortable in my shorts and messy t-shirts; how to treat myself with snacks every now and then!!!

This pandemic has taught me many things, but nothing more like staying happy at home, being who I am, and doing the things I love!

#workfromhome

[devi-devu-deva]

Euphobia

Some people might not understand this! But when women read news on violence on other women, it really builds up a lot of trauma in us. It scares us deeply on a personal level because these women in the news could be us!

When I read such news, I feel helpless, agitated and terrified.

Helpless when I think that the very previous day, it might have been a normal day for them - they might have had a happy meal, heard their favorite song, and even slept like a baby!

Agitated when I read the comments questioning that woman’s morality for dressing, talking or even living in a certain way which won’t seem “convetional” to others!

Terrified that, someday it can be ME or someone I know!