devilslayr

[devilslayr]

i think my biggest issue w avery is like. over the past 5+ years ive had him as an ocs ive had like. several different directions in which i wanted to take him? like he started off as like. a character for a webcomic than an old friend and i were gonna make and that was the plan for like two or so years and it never rlly panned out so now i sit here with him like huh what

[devilslayr]

blows some dust off of this blog

[devilslayr]

ask meme: GROUPCHAT EDITION.

current group chat name: banjo skeletons anonymous (the bone zone). you figure it out.

[TEXT ]: cashew brained motherfucker

[TEXT]: spider monster skitters around at an alarming speed for 32 hours [ASMR]

[TEXT]: he’s got the personality of an adidas sandal

[TEXT]: LIBRAS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT I GUESS!!

[TEXT]: crybaby clown ass motherfuckers survive on stimulants and carbs

[TEXT]: since my permanent place is covered in covid…

[TEXT]: RAIN YEETIN FROM THE SKY

[TEXT]: netflix n chill? no. tai chi n die.

[TEXT]: I am simply moss growing on decaying tree bark

[TEXT]: my meat is HUGE and i do what i WANT

[TEXT]: I’M ON A MISSION TO MURDER THEM ALL

[TEXT]: kermit’s one of the og loves of my life

[TEXT]: yes the muppets would be vored

[TEXT]: the ghost….. demands Carbs……….

[TEXT]: women want her, covid fear her

[TEXT]: wow this is the most libra thing huh

[TEXT]: we stan a milf

[TEXT]: this chat is just clowns controlled by cheese

[TEXT]: their backs must hurt from carrying the weight of their fandom sins.

[TEXT]: cookies: baked and frosted mess: cleaned dick: out i am forciply removed from my own damn kitchen

[TEXT]: it’s so fun to be a bastard

[TEXT]: i only know unimportant shit

[TEXT]: WORM OFF THE STRING!!!!! COMMITTING CRIMES!!!!!!!!!!!

[TEXT]: a wormsona, if you will

[TEXT]: fit check!! *dons my plague doctor wormsona suit*

[TEXT]: sorry babe :/ the wormsona plague mask stays ON during sex

[TEXT]: no sleep only WORMS

[TEXT]: things that get the most feral reaction from me:  worm on or off the string several bags of ham. mustard (and mustard related crimes)

[TEXT]: i’m gonna leak the devil’s credit card information and that is on HIM

[TEXT]: [name] 🤝 [name] 🤝  me: feral entities who exist solely to cause chaos

[TEXT]: J O H N  M U L A N E Y  W A P [asmr]

[TEXT]: *john mulaney whispering into the mic* gobble me swallow me drip down the side of me-

[TEXT]: SPRINGTRAP MY GOOD BITCH

[TEXT]: mb actually stands for maggot brain

[TEXT]: being attracted to men is a curse. rami malek is the only exception.

[TEXT]: nb fashion includes femboy hooters, e-nby, dadcore,  cottagecore,  plague

[TEXT]: yeehaw [bones rattle menacingly]

[TEXT]: we are all mothman

[TEXT]: we are all banjo skeleton

[TEXT]: WE all know remy the rat is trans

[TEXT]: JERSEY COWS SENDING ME TO HELL

[TEXT]: also i speak the truth and nothing but the truth: spirit the stallion is a himbo

[TEXT]: LISTEN THESE HORSES FUCKING INVENTED LOVE

[TEXT]: i love shadow the hedgehog i hope he’s having a good day

[TEXT]: the venn diagram of dwight/danny vs judy/nick is just a fucking circle

[TEXT]: i am Cold i am Gay id like some Soup

[TEXT]: gender: BONES

[TEXT]: farmhouse fuckass nowhere lesbian

[devilslayr]

𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐌𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 ( 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 ) 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 because i have niche interests and lol the minecraft man do a haha 

you do know the rat from ratatouille is not an avenger, right?

that’s exactly what i thought of when i saw that.

it’s so disgustingly garbage, and i made it, which is why i’m going to keep promoting it.

did you just bite into an onion? like an apple?

do i think you’re in a bad position? yeah, you’re eating soggy cereal and talking to me.

i don’t like sports- have you seen my body?

hey, nice ride you got here!

i swear- i swear i have an explanation for this, i swear-

i kinda fuck with this vision, though.

“wood fired pizza?” how’s that pizza gonna get a job now? 

i would recommend the “very berry”- it’s like berry, but VERY. 

he’s like, doing “out-of-touch boss” roleplay, every time!

so peculiar… such an abstract bit..,

what does that even word, dude?

so THAT’S what it means when you call me a cro magnon!

yeah, that’s about what i expected- that’s EXACTLY what i expected.

i have a personality. i watch the office. it’s okay. i have a social life. 

i am not figuratively losing my mind, i am LITERALLY losing my mind.

thank you, for helping me through some really hard times. 

the moon landing was real, BUT! we had a fake video PREPARED just in case the landing didn’t happen. 

just beat the shit out of him for ten bucks, that’s all i ask-

why would you do this to me? why is this happening?

i landed the first roflcopter.

this is a MAJOR bruh moment!

i’m hearing strange noises tonight, more so than usual.

are you destroying company property?

[devilslayr]

SEND IN HEADCANON + A WORD / PHRASE FOR A RELEVANT HEADCANON ABOUT MY MUSE.

[devilslayr]

ask meme: GROUPCHAT EDITION.

from the groupchat in which we saw spencer have a come apart and it didn’t get any better from there.

[TEXT]: YEAH I JUST HAVE LOOSE WAFFLES IN MY POCKETS AT ALL TIMES

[TEXT]: phonut box, if you will.

[TEXT]: i like it better w bees

[TEXT]: BREAK YA NECK IS OBAMACORE

[TEXT]: i clown myself fucking daily [TEXT]: HORT:TM:

[TEXT]: so long, bitch..

[TEXT]: she’s the pussy protector

[TEXT]: [name] SAW THE LESBIANS AND DELIVERED SAPPHIC JUSTICE

[TEXT]: [name] fucks that fishman from shape of water, hit send.

[TEXT]: LEON KINNEDY

[TEXT]: bruh it’s 2020 intolerance isn’t cool you just gotta educate yourself about lactose and the struggles they go through :/

[TEXT]: pants fear her, women want her.

[TEXT]: you wake up in the middle of the night and its just me flossing in the corner of your room

[TEXT]: I’m going insane for Dean Winchester right now, which is a sentence I have never said in my life

[TEXT]: in this world it’s peg or be pegged

[TEXT]: byom (bring your own milk)

[TEXT]: the jelloshot in my head said hrkkkkk and that’s everyone else’s problem

[TEXT]: dwaynefield

[TEXT]: die in the heat

[TEXT]: joseph stalin’s gonna unsubscribe from my channel

[TEXT]: you’re either a femboy hooter or a genderless goblin

[TEXT]: THE BIRDS WORK FOR THE BOURGEOISIE BUT THE FROGS BELONG TO THE GAYS

[TEXT]: theyre nastee little crime goblins

[TEXT]: untitled goosegame is [name]core

[TEXT]: this is now a [name] stan chat

[TEXT]: my brain is like.. a half-eaten flan….jiggling in my skull

[TEXT]: it’s the dissociation.

[TEXT]: the menthol eelness luv xx

[TEXT]: i exist solely to be the Funneyman

[TEXT]: asab (all scorpios are bastards)

[TEXT]: oh to be a cybergoth dancing under a bridge.

[TEXT]: nasty piss boy goes to jail for his sins.

[TEXT]: agab (assigned groundhogkin at birth)

[TEXT]: they’re a hashtag

[TEXT]: one day, you’re going to escape!! and i’m going to have to break your niko-niko-kneecaps!!

[devilslayr]

sentences from the youtube series  ,  buzzfeed unsolved .  primarily taken from season 5′s supernatural investigations .

“ it doesn’t matter because you’re dead ”

“ it’s not impressive  ,  no one’s impressed ”

“ the spot of your death is now a lovely gift shop ”

“ as god as my witness  ,  he snapped him in half ”

“ i seriously want you to throw something right at my face ”

“ you can live in the cave ”

“ i’m a big fan of your name ”

“ the fact that you steal  ,  that’s really funny to me ”

“ that’s the greatest thing to steal  :  a man’s joy ”

“ because i’m a masochist ”

“ i’m going to regret this ”

“ i’ve lost the ability to feel ”

“ they’re gonna fucking murder you ”

“ the way you shushed me was quite rude ”

“ cowards  ,  all of you ”

“ i’m strange and off putting ”

“ i should not feel confident in the face of any man ”

“ here you are  ,  smiling in the face of the devil ”

“ i hate bats ”

“ bats sometimes carry rabies and that’s a thing i’m afraid of ”

“ not today devil birds  ,  not today ”

“ i think i’m blacking out right now ”

“ i don’t think i’m going to remember this moment ”

“ i think i’m gonna cry ”

“ i keep forgetting there’s ghosts in here ”

“ if you know me and my debilitating fear of bears  ,  this is my worst nightmare ”

“ i’m standing on an altar alone ”

“ maybe you’ll wake up in the middle of the night and eat your cat ”

“ i’m so glad that’s over let’s go eat taco bell ”

“ were you making horse noises ? ”

“ in case any of you needed a reminder this place is a twisting nightmare ”

“ there’s a good chance i’m gonna fart in here ”

“ well this is horrifying ”

“ let’s do each other a favor and not show ourselves to each other ”

“ if you could do me a big solid and not do anything that would be sublime ”

“ this is just as horrifying as i thought it would be ”

“ you talk to hide from the silence ”

“ do i look like the kind of man who could give advice ? ”

“ several bad choices have lead me to this moment ”

“ let’s play look at the ceiling tiles !  1 , 2 , 3 , 4 … ”

“ i just wanna know if you think they have belly buttons ”

“ i did meet some of the most insufferable people but they also met me ”

“ if it sounds like a duck and walks like a duck ”

[devilslayr]

𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝟑 - 𝟓 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 rules : repost, don’t reblog.

ONE.  runs in the family - amanda palmer

they say it's genetic / they say he can't help it / hey say you can catch it / but sometimes you're born with it / my friend has blight / he gets shakes in the night / and they say that there's no way that they could have caught it in time / takes his toll on him / it is traditional / it is inherited / predisposition / all day I've been wondering / what is inside of me / who can i blame for it? / i say it runs in the family  //  me? well, i’m well // well, i mean i’m in hell / well, i still have my health ( at least, that’s what they tell me ) / if wellness is this, what in hell’s name is sickness? / but business is business / and business runs in the family

TWO.  arsonist’s lullaby - hozier

when i was a child, i heard voices / some would sing and some would scream / you soon find you have few choices / i learned the voices died with me. / when i was a child, i’d sit for hours / staring into open flame / something in it had a power / could barely tear my eyes away / all you have is your fire / and the place you need to reach / don’t you ever tame your demons / but always keep ‘em on a leash

THREE.   a children’s crusade on acid - margot & the nuclear so and so’s

satan, settle down / keep your trousers on / you can warm the globe / but leave my wretched soul alone / i don’t know you, and i don’t owe you a thing / but the children lose their minds / in such uncertain times

FOUR.  wrecking ball - mother mother

i made a wreck out of my hand / i put it through the wall / i made a fist and not a plan / call me a reckless wrecking ball / i throw my plate against the wall / and give it all i’ve got / i aim to break not one, but all / i am a big ol’ wrecking ball / i am unruly in the stands / i am a rock on top of the sand / i am a fist amongst the hands / and i break it just because i can

FIVE.   black sheep - metric

hello again, friend of a friend, i knew you when / our common goal was waiting for the world to end / now that the truth is just a rule that you can bend / you crack the whip, shapeshift and trick the past again / send you my love on a wire / lift you up every time everyone, ooh, pulls away / ooh, from you

RUNNER UPS FROM THE PLAYLIST -

survival song - ajj i am shit - crywank youth - daughter  no children - the mountain goats

tagged by: stole it from myself LMAO tagging: steal it and tag me ig????

[devilslayr]

and   there   lies   the   heart   of   it,   perhaps   --   in   unworthiness.

[devilslayr]

@devilslayr

[devilslayr]

i buried my heart in my childhood home. a house is a skeleton:       gaping eyes.       gaping maw.       all bones,       no warmth.

there is a ghost living in the rafters: a child that never got to be. a child, robbed, made skeletal.

       slamming door,        locked door:        flicker-out nightlight.        guardian angel –– a failure.

skeleton: here is your soul. skeleton: you watched, and everything was taken.

     –– skeleton // c.n.s // 12.10.19

[devilslayr]

“  LIKE  THE  BRIEF  DOOMED  FLARE  OF  EXPLODING  SUNS  REGISTERS  ON  BLIND  MEN’S  EYES, the  beginning  of  the  horror  passed  almost  unnoticed . . . in  the  shriek  of what  followed,  in fact,  was  forgotten  and  perhaps  not  connected  to  the  horror  at  all.  ”