diary-of-an-onliner

[diary-of-an-onliner]

[diary-of-an-onliner]

Physical therapy is wild because they're always like "hey do this weird little movement" and you're like "hmm my brain doesn't seem to know how to activate that movement" and then they'll like trick your brain into doing it by making you do other movements first or making you resist against them moving you or some shit and your brain is like oooooh ✅ new movement unlocked. And then they tell you to do that movement 20 times a day and you do and it makes some part of your body you didn't even know was related hurt less. What the fuck.

[diary-of-an-onliner]

he's streaming; tip?

[diary-of-an-onliner]

[diary-of-an-onliner]

[diary-of-an-onliner]

just met a three month old pomeranian named horchata. her paw was the size of my fingertip. she looked like half a dandelion fluff

[diary-of-an-onliner]

my kink is service submission for parentified oldest children who experience white hot terror at the idea of actually receiving care

[diary-of-an-onliner]

“Fighting that leads to sex” this “fighting then making out” that

Fighting that leads nowhere. Fighting fully clothed, then dragging our tired asses out for a strong drink and some trash diner food. Not talking much. Maybe one of us breaks the silence and says ‘man, I kinda liked that’, and then the other says ‘shut up, jackass’

[diary-of-an-onliner]

[diary-of-an-onliner]

In an incredible reversal, Builder.AI just declared bankruptcy after admitting that they were faking their AI tool with 700 humans

[diary-of-an-onliner]

bro last night was totally redacted! last night was fully expunged from the record. bro, do you... can you remember last night? what did we do...? what did... did we hurt someone? bro? why won't you look at me? what did I do...? whose blood is this...? bro...?

[diary-of-an-onliner]

Sherlock Holmes is the funniest case of “doomed by the narrative” ever. Doomed by the narrative and destined to die young bc the creator hated him, and then the fans literally bullied him into un-dooming the narrative, writing about him for another thirty years, and giving the character a canonical happy ending where he retires to the countryside and keeps bees. Funniest shit ever.

[diary-of-an-onliner]

these are KILLING me

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"tumblr humor is only funny to tumblr users" NOT true. those bitches on pinterest love us.

[diary-of-an-onliner]

STOP! before you decide you are irretrievably doomed, try one of the following options:

transition

bdsm

iron supplements

[diary-of-an-onliner]

people are so mean about horror movie victims like. sorry but if i had gone to a cabin in the woods with my friends as a teenager you couldn't have stopped us from reading aloud from the evil tome. how were they supposed to know the ancient curse was real they're like 17

[diary-of-an-onliner]