diaryofaspookyadmin

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Made a mistake in an Institute-wide announcement email. Martin caught it and I sent a correction, bless him

Then ELIAS caught a different mistake in the correction. Told me I have to send things by him for proofreading now.

Brb I — *remembers that suicide jokes aren’t funny* — need to go take a very very long walk. Into the Thames.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Tell me why a grants admin for the freaking ECDC can’t do math. I’m being so fucking serious.

Look motherfucker, I laid out the per diem costs in a GORGEOUS little spreadsheet for you. I don’t know how many different times I can break down these costs before you fucking get it. Stop sending me gobbldigook numbers that have nothing to do with the numbers I JUST sent???

AS PER MY LAST EMAIL: YOU’RE A MORON. Seriously how did you get this far in the world of grants management without being able to do

BASIC

ADDITION

Literally I looked up at Elias when the latest email from this clown came through and I said “Are you seeing this shit??” And he deadpanned “Unfortunately” while looking like he just bit into a whole lemon. I’m not sure which one of us is going to drop dead from a brain aneurysm first.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

If I had a nickel for every time this happened. I would have two nickels. Which isn’t that much, but it’s weird that it happened twice

WHY WAS I JUST SERVED LAWSUIT PAPERS????? GIRL, WHAT

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Office gossip of the day courtesy of my Icon Rosie:

Apparently Sonja Artifact Storage and Diana Library had a summer fling once when they were young and just starting out here, but now they’re extremely bitter with each other over some nebulous heartbreak. There are about 8 different versions of the story where one or the other or both of them are at fault for said heartbreak.

This explains why I never see them in the same room. I was honestly starting to suspect they were actually the same shapeshifter covering up their secret. Now I realize Sonja just has a supernatural sense of whenever Diana is coming and vacates the premises. (Incredible, I need to cop this skill for avoiding Jeremy HR)

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

…… actually I’m with the boss on this one. You people can’t fill a form for SHIT and it makes my job harder.

The documents are laid out that way for a reason!!! The directions are so so so clear!!! You’d think academics would be able to read instructions but at this point I’m convinced that PhD’s make people stupider.

If you’re gonna hate it on Elias, it should be because he’s a sociopath who enjoys doing his own scheduling and budgeting. HE DOESN’T HIRE GRANTS MANAGERS HE DOES IT HIMSELF ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! PSYCHO BEHAVIOR.

(Also he’s a skinflint who makes me buy cheap office supplies)

Why exacty does everyone seem to dislike Elias? I mean- I know I'm new here, but c'mon... he's been nothing but nice so far! And sure, maybe sometimes he can micromanage how we should submit our documents but- that's perfectly reasonable. I just- really don't get the hate.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Okay so. Upon inspection, *I* am not being sued, the Institute is being sued and I was just the first idiot they saw in the admin office. Some dingdong ex-employee touched smthn in Artifact Storage that he shouldn’t’ve and got his shit wrecked. I will truly never understand people who do that. Sonja is so so so scary how could you ever even THINK of disobeying one of her rules??? Insanity

WHY WAS I JUST SERVED LAWSUIT PAPERS????? GIRL, WHAT

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

WHY WAS I JUST SERVED LAWSUIT PAPERS????? GIRL, WHAT

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

I swear Elias is trying to kill me. I feel so gaslit right now I could SWEAR we went over the catering order twice before I actually placed it, and now that I’ve already put in for a quote, NOW he tells me there’s supposed to be alcohol at this event.

MOTHERFUCKER THIS THING IS GRANT FUNDED AND YOU CAN’T PUT ALCOHOL ON GRANTS I KNOW YOU KNOW THIS!!!!

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Jesus. So much of event planning is just… assuming people are fucking stupid.

Like, this is an academic institution. You people are academics. You’re supposed to be smart. The event is being held in the mezzanine. The mezzanine is on the second floor. You have to go UP THE STAIRS. It will be the only place visibly, audibly having an event. GO THERE. WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY THE PRINTER FOR DIRECTIONAL SIGNAGE SHOWING YOU ALL WHERE TO GO. WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY OVERTIME FOR AN EVENT STAFFER TO STAND AROUND TELLING YOU SHEEP WHERE IN THE BUILDING TO BE.

USE YOUR BRAIN. USE YOUR BRAIN. THE THING IN YOUR HEAD?? USE IT!!!

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Woe… misery…. Elias caught me removing Sims from the management listserv again after the latest hissy fit. He told me to knock it off :((

But hey, at least he thought it was funny so he didn’t write me up or anything! Made the boss laugh, +1 Funny Guy point in the office.

Am I the only one who thinks Elias is kinda hot in like a beekeeping age DILF kind of way… no? just me?…

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

HE’S BULLYING MARTIN.

HE’S BULLYING. MARTIN.

OH! JAIL! JAIL FOR JONATHAN FOR 1000 YEARS!!!

HE FUCKING TOOK MARTIN??!? HE TOOK MARTIN WITH HIM INTO THE STUPID BASEMENT

CRIME OF THE HIGHEST FUCKING ORDER! MISERY AND WOE BE UPON YOU JONATHAN SIMS, FOR TAKING MY TEATIME BUDDY!!!!

I am going to procrastinate every single one of your supply requisitions to the very last minute. I am going to leave you off of every email list. I am going to mess with your management permissions in every admin system. NO ONE CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE BETTER THAN A PISSED OFF ADMIN, MISTER. YOU WILL LEARN!!!!

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

HE FUCKING TOOK MARTIN??!? HE TOOK MARTIN WITH HIM INTO THE STUPID BASEMENT

CRIME OF THE HIGHEST FUCKING ORDER! MISERY AND WOE BE UPON YOU JONATHAN SIMS, FOR TAKING MY TEATIME BUDDY!!!!

I am going to procrastinate every single one of your supply requisitions to the very last minute. I am going to leave you off of every email list. I am going to mess with your management permissions in every admin system. NO ONE CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE BETTER THAN A PISSED OFF ADMIN, MISTER. YOU WILL LEARN!!!!

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Oh no, you’re not getting management email memos? So you missed the notif about the meeting time? WOW that’s so weird Mr. Sims, cuz I could swear I added you to the listserv. See? Right there! Crazy that it’s not working. Maybe check your spam? Or put in a ticket with IT. That’s so weird haha

*deletes him off the list again*

Now who’s an unnecessary waste of indirect funds, hmm? Bitch.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Jonathan Sims my fucking opp 🔫

See how you like it when I take your sorry ass off the management listserv, hmmmmm?!!? How bou dat. Rude bitch.

Who’s this rat bastard looking guy they promoted to replace Gertrude??? Tim says he’s from Research but he didn’t introduce me when he was showing me around. This is either a mark in favor of New Archivist’s character or STRONGLY against it. I guess I’ll go introduce myself and see?

Wish me luck, he has an intimidating resting bitch face

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Who’s this rat bastard looking guy they promoted to replace Gertrude??? Tim says he’s from Research but he didn’t introduce me when he was showing me around. This is either a mark in favor of New Archivist’s character or STRONGLY against it. I guess I’ll go introduce myself and see?

Wish me luck, he has an intimidating resting bitch face

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Does this mean I don’t have to do Gertrude’s expense reports now…..