dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved

[dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved]

How did you guys even know yall had Great Uncles if they were dead??

I found out by looking at old unsolved cases and spotting our last name, but, you do know that even if I didn't, we do have a grandfather, right? That's how I confirmed that they were actually related to us and not just a coincidence. He never mentioned them before, but I guess he wasn't that close with them.

[dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved]

Hello!!!! I really wanna ask you about the Valentino family !!! I mean, if you're researching on an unsolved murder case, you probably did question the only funerary in town, yeah? :D

We haven't been here for long, but yep, that's definitely something we plan on doing! Though I'm not sure how much information they can provide about people who died thirty-seven years ago? And bodies linked to the missing people are rarely identified.

[dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved]

I wish you both well in your investigations, it reminds me a bit of my youth! though murder was never apart of my graduate studies

That said….

Be careful in woods like that

—Leonel

( @hawaiian-shirts-and-coyote-bones )

Oh, thanks. I'm not really a professional or anything but I'm hoping to do my best, especially since the police here are, how do I put this lightly... I think they gave up.

And you bet we're being careful! Even if it wasn't for the disappearances, we'd keep the car doors locked tight and always be on guard :)

[dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved]

... We'll do our best.

And we'll keep that in mind! It's also not the most believable thing... but you do learn something new every day!

I just kinda prefer to focus on facts.

Greetings! Um, completely irrelevant and unimportant person who you'd never know in a thousand years, here- you two are out solving a murder? I suppose as long as you aren't out committing one..

How are you two? Doing well, I hope? I can perhaps attempt to open a small rift if you'd like any weapons. I understand that I sound young but I have a lot of weapons that I don't know what to do with and if you're running headlong into a place with seemingly-frequent disappearances happening I'd feel more secure if you had them. Do you want obscenely powerful energy weapons?

(@sixtysomethingtenyearold)

... Is this some kind of prank? You sound like a little kid. You know, I talk about some pretty dark topics, you should probably ask your parents—

We would LOVE some weapons!

Mabel, don't encourage them.

What? We could totally use them. I know you don't feel safe here either. Side effect of going to a town where people often go missing. If we had absurdly powerful energy weapons or whatever he said, nobody would mess with us!

I doubt that's something this kid can even provide.

[dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved]

I'm pretty sure the only something going on is people going missing left and right, and any recovered bodies being unidentifiable. We were in there earlier, and other than a six fingered handprint, obviously yours, we didn't see much. It's also raining now.

Greetings! Um, completely irrelevant and unimportant person who you'd never know in a thousand years, here- you two are out solving a murder? I suppose as long as you aren't out committing one..

How are you two? Doing well, I hope? I can perhaps attempt to open a small rift if you'd like any weapons. I understand that I sound young but I have a lot of weapons that I don't know what to do with and if you're running headlong into a place with seemingly-frequent disappearances happening I'd feel more secure if you had them. Do you want obscenely powerful energy weapons?

(@sixtysomethingtenyearold)

... Is this some kind of prank? You sound like a little kid. You know, I talk about some pretty dark topics, you should probably ask your parents—

We would LOVE some weapons!

Mabel, don't encourage them.

What? We could totally use them. I know you don't feel safe here either. Side effect of going to a town where people often go missing. If we had absurdly powerful energy weapons or whatever he said, nobody would mess with us!

I doubt that's something this kid can even provide.

[dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved]

At least I don't smoke! Never once in my life! Dipper got peer pressured into it once, though.

Wh- Mabel, don't go telling people that!

...Oh my god, it's a kid version of Robbie

Woah, you're so short!

@dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved

wh- HEY!? NO IM NOT?? also who the hell are you

(Hilda coughs) he kinda is short. Hes shorter than dad and dad isn't that tall either.

[dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved]

The cabin... That you died in? Because we're parked right outside of that.

Greetings! Um, completely irrelevant and unimportant person who you'd never know in a thousand years, here- you two are out solving a murder? I suppose as long as you aren't out committing one..

How are you two? Doing well, I hope? I can perhaps attempt to open a small rift if you'd like any weapons. I understand that I sound young but I have a lot of weapons that I don't know what to do with and if you're running headlong into a place with seemingly-frequent disappearances happening I'd feel more secure if you had them. Do you want obscenely powerful energy weapons?

(@sixtysomethingtenyearold)

... Is this some kind of prank? You sound like a little kid. You know, I talk about some pretty dark topics, you should probably ask your parents—

We would LOVE some weapons!

Mabel, don't encourage them.

What? We could totally use them. I know you don't feel safe here either. Side effect of going to a town where people often go missing. If we had absurdly powerful energy weapons or whatever he said, nobody would mess with us!

I doubt that's something this kid can even provide.

[dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved]

Oh no :( that's so sad

...Oh my god, it's a kid version of Robbie

Woah, you're so short!

@dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved

wh- HEY!? NO IM NOT?? also who the hell are you

(Hilda coughs) he kinda is short. Hes shorter than dad and dad isn't that tall either.

[dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved]

We're not talking about you, we're talking about, like, the you we know. He's like 22. And he hates us.

I'm pretty sure this guy hates us, too.

AnYway, don't do drugs! Quit while you're ahead! Consume a crap ton of sugar instead!

...Oh my god, it's a kid version of Robbie

Woah, you're so short!

@dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved

wh- HEY!? NO IM NOT?? also who the hell are you

(Hilda coughs) he kinda is short. Hes shorter than dad and dad isn't that tall either.

[dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved]

Wendy is one thing, but you, I don't think I've ever seen you without a cigarette. This is really a strange sight.

Haha, yeahh... He's not wrong.

...Oh my god, it's a kid version of Robbie

Woah, you're so short!

@dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved

wh- HEY!? NO IM NOT?? also who the hell are you

(Hilda coughs) he kinda is short. Hes shorter than dad and dad isn't that tall either.

[dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved]

Tell your brother not to bully other people, then.

And not to do drugs! Robbie, don't do drugs.

...Oh my god, it's a kid version of Robbie

Woah, you're so short!

@dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved

wh- HEY!? NO IM NOT?? also who the hell are you

(Hilda coughs) he kinda is short. Hes shorter than dad and dad isn't that tall either.

[dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved]

He's not a wimp! And has never been a wimp.

Yeah... what she said. Also, you're, uh, one to talk.

Dipper be nice

...Oh my god, it's a kid version of Robbie

Woah, you're so short!

@dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved

wh- HEY!? NO IM NOT?? also who the hell are you

(Hilda coughs) he kinda is short. Hes shorter than dad and dad isn't that tall either.

[dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved]

I'm Dipper, and this is Mabel. We're nineteen. And you look... fourteen, maybe?

...Oh my god, it's a kid version of Robbie

Woah, you're so short!

@dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved

wh- HEY!? NO IM NOT?? also who the hell are you

(Hilda coughs) he kinda is short. Hes shorter than dad and dad isn't that tall either.

[dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved]

you know it would be funny if your great uncles were ghosts? maybe they are still haunting the place? you should try to communicate-

I suggested that! Well, sorta. Maybe we will try!

As someone who used to be really into paranormal stuff before I got into crime (investigating, not committing), a lot of it tends to be fake. And it's not really what I focus on anymore.

I still think it's worth a shot, don't you?

Well, even if it worked, we can't build really a case on something we can't prove. "Their ghosts told me" doesn't hold up in court. Still, I guess it would be fun to try.

[dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved]

...No offense, but all this sounds a bit... crazy. There's no proof that he exists in this dimension, unless you can somehow provide it?

Greetings! Um, completely irrelevant and unimportant person who you'd never know in a thousand years, here- you two are out solving a murder? I suppose as long as you aren't out committing one..

How are you two? Doing well, I hope? I can perhaps attempt to open a small rift if you'd like any weapons. I understand that I sound young but I have a lot of weapons that I don't know what to do with and if you're running headlong into a place with seemingly-frequent disappearances happening I'd feel more secure if you had them. Do you want obscenely powerful energy weapons?

(@sixtysomethingtenyearold)

... Is this some kind of prank? You sound like a little kid. You know, I talk about some pretty dark topics, you should probably ask your parents—

We would LOVE some weapons!

Mabel, don't encourage them.

What? We could totally use them. I know you don't feel safe here either. Side effect of going to a town where people often go missing. If we had absurdly powerful energy weapons or whatever he said, nobody would mess with us!

I doubt that's something this kid can even provide.

[dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved]

A demon? I... kind of doubt that. I don't know about your dimension, but those kinds of things don't exist here. If they do, I have yet to hear about it. I guess you would blame him for the disappearing people too, wouldn't you?

Yeah, and how are we supposed to get revenge on a demon? Wouldn't he, like, kill us too?

Greetings! Um, completely irrelevant and unimportant person who you'd never know in a thousand years, here- you two are out solving a murder? I suppose as long as you aren't out committing one..

How are you two? Doing well, I hope? I can perhaps attempt to open a small rift if you'd like any weapons. I understand that I sound young but I have a lot of weapons that I don't know what to do with and if you're running headlong into a place with seemingly-frequent disappearances happening I'd feel more secure if you had them. Do you want obscenely powerful energy weapons?

(@sixtysomethingtenyearold)

... Is this some kind of prank? You sound like a little kid. You know, I talk about some pretty dark topics, you should probably ask your parents—

We would LOVE some weapons!

Mabel, don't encourage them.

What? We could totally use them. I know you don't feel safe here either. Side effect of going to a town where people often go missing. If we had absurdly powerful energy weapons or whatever he said, nobody would mess with us!

I doubt that's something this kid can even provide.

[dippers-guide-to-the-unsolved]

It happened in 1982, and none of the missing people's bodies were recovered, at least not that we know of. There could have been unidentified bodies that belonged to them, but even if there was, it doesn't change the fact that people did and still are going missing basically left and right.

Detectives assumed that your— well, our version of you, anyway— presumed homicide was unrelated to the missing person's cases, since it was very different than what they were used to, and there was no attempt to cover up the crime.

Dipper's been looking into this for a while now. If anyone can solve it, it's him!

Greetings! Um, completely irrelevant and unimportant person who you'd never know in a thousand years, here- you two are out solving a murder? I suppose as long as you aren't out committing one..

How are you two? Doing well, I hope? I can perhaps attempt to open a small rift if you'd like any weapons. I understand that I sound young but I have a lot of weapons that I don't know what to do with and if you're running headlong into a place with seemingly-frequent disappearances happening I'd feel more secure if you had them. Do you want obscenely powerful energy weapons?

(@sixtysomethingtenyearold)

... Is this some kind of prank? You sound like a little kid. You know, I talk about some pretty dark topics, you should probably ask your parents—

We would LOVE some weapons!

Mabel, don't encourage them.

What? We could totally use them. I know you don't feel safe here either. Side effect of going to a town where people often go missing. If we had absurdly powerful energy weapons or whatever he said, nobody would mess with us!

I doubt that's something this kid can even provide.