disasterdemi

[disasterdemi]

Happy Pride Month!

Faust is back for the 5th time! If you want to use the flag of your choice as an avatar, they're under the cut. They're free to use as long as it's for personal use only.

[disasterdemi]

[disasterdemi]

The justification for opposing “family should not be automatically assumed to be the most important relationship in someone’s life” should not be “well, some people’s families traumatized them”.

I could talk about how a lot of people with familial trauma don’t recognize that sort of thing as traumatic at all (the “what do you mean this isn’t normal? are you seriously telling me this doesn’t happen to everyone?” reaction). I could talk about how trauma is seen as extremely competitive, and how so many people constantly compare themselves to others who are “more traumatized” and think “okay, those people have the right to value familial relationships less. but I certainly don’t. I didn’t have [insert thing] ever happen to me.”

But mostly I want to say that this doesn’t actually do anything to challenge the relationship hierarchy. All it does is add an asterisk to that hierarchy. “Everyone needs to value and appreciate their family*”

*Unless you’re one of the “tragic cases” we’ve approved as being exempt

The truth is that no one has an obligation to their family. No, not even if they were raised perfectly. You don’t owe your family for doing that. They chose to do that once they had a child. That was their choice that you don’t need to pay for with love. Putting familial relationships on a pedestal isn’t any more justified than putting romantic or sexual relationships on a pedestal.

It’s like if the justification against the amatonormative centering of romantic relationships was “some people are stuck in abusive relationships because they don’t know they are allowed to not have a relationship”. That would be a positive benefit of anti-amatonormativity. And those perspectives do need to be shared. But true breakdown of the centering of romantic relationships means that someone can be offered a relationship by a “perfect partner” and still be valid in turning that down if that’s not the kind of relationship they want in their life.

The same goes for the breakdown of “family first”.

[disasterdemi]

normal way to feel

[disasterdemi]

Richard Goldstein & James Baldwin | The Last Interview

[disasterdemi]

Once you get over that initial phase of denial and unpack everything, being aro is really chill

[disasterdemi]

Question: What is the greatest magic of all? Answer: Friendship, right? [B]: The greatest magic of all is not friendship, it's chronomancy, the ability to control and warp time. If friendship were the greatest magic, look, it's a pet peeve of mine (...)

DUNGEON MASTER BRENNAN LEE MULLIGAN ANSWERS DnD QUESTIONS (TECH SUPPORT | WIRED)

[disasterdemi]

“Instead of letting labels like romantic and platonic (or friend versus partner) guide actions and expectations, it is possible for the desires themselves to guide actions and expectations. More effective than relying on labels to provide instruction is skipping directly to asking for what we want—around time, touch, commitment, and so on as David Jay wrote—regardless of whether those desires confuse hardline ideas of what these two categories are supposed to look like. When the desires don’t fit the labels, it is often the labels that should be adjusted or discarded, not the desires. If everyone is behaving ethically, it doesn’t matter if a relationship doesn’t fit into a preconceived social role, if it feels neither platonic nor romantic or if it feels like both at the same time.”

Angela Chen, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex

[disasterdemi]

[disasterdemi]

The Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy is publishing a book! You can follow our progress here!

[Image Description: A square graphic that reads “Delve into the aromantic identity and experiences in our upcoming book, An Introduction to Aromanticism!” in bold letters. Beneath that is a quote that reads ““Each of us has a different experience with attraction and different desires when it comes to relationships. As the aromantic community has grown, we’ve been able to develop language - or rediscover past terminology - to communicate our experiences.” - Annika Baumgart/James Dillon, authors”. The text is situated on a white text box with a light green border. Underneath the text is the AUREA logo. In the bottom left corner of the graphic is clip art of a stack of three books.]

[disasterdemi]

"love is what makes us human" actually it's 'select all images with boat' but go off I guess

[disasterdemi]

in the most aromantic way possible I want a relationship

[disasterdemi]

Being a cold heartless spinster who loves no one is such hard work! I spend all this time spinning silk, and weaving it into intricate patterns, and catching hapless prey in my webs, and sinking my fangs into them, and yet no one ever appreciates my efforts!!! It’s so hard to be aro ::::(

[disasterdemi]

“Love doesn’t have to be romantic” and “not everyone has to define their feelings as love” are two ideas that can and should coexist btw. Platonic love, sexual love, familial love, and so on are all just as real as romantic love, but people can feel platonic feelings, sexual feelings, familial feelings, and so on without those feelings being love. Just as relationships can be defined as romantic, platonic, or something else entirely only by the people involved in the relationship, feelings can be defined only by the person experiencing them

[disasterdemi]

Aro culture is somehow constantly getting people to fall in love with you on accident even though I'm not even DOING ANYTHING I'm just being NICE why does this keep HAPPENING TO ME.

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[disasterdemi]

You use "arospec people can still date and feel romantic attraction " as an excuse to ship cannon aro characters , I use it as justification to headcannon characters who canonically feel romantic attraction as arospec , we are not the same

[disasterdemi]

lol thanks for the shout out coop 😂✌️