discordisaster

[discordisaster]

I can embrace change. Maybe not with open arms or an open heart, but as it envelopes me with its long limbs of time, I cannot help but break.

[discordisaster]

It feels odd reminiscing because a part of me believes I’m still there, laughing at the table, watching them laugh with me. I’m still there holding them as their secrets spill and pile onto my back, still never weighing me down because they were never a burden to me. Then I’m there, crying on an empty birthday that no one came to. And just like that, I’m back, crying in the now over spilled milk that had curdled. I know I shouldn’t wander too long in my mind because of this, shouldn’t entice myself to blink out the tears afterwards.

Yet.

I think the other part is waiting is still waiting for that to come back. Because no matter how I broke, at least I knew I broke bending over backwards for them. Strange how pain soothes us now.