disillusionedjudge

[disillusionedjudge]

Because Gylfie is used to not having anyone in her corner, she has a hard time opening up to those that are. She rarely discusses her issues because she doesn't realize she can or should, and when she does, she sometimes attempts to downplay it or put herself down to shrug off how bad it was. She'll also have moments of intense insecurity with those who are in her corner, and, while she rarely voices that as well, she fears she may be too difficult for them or may end up pushing them away like she had with everyone else.

[disillusionedjudge]

[disillusionedjudge]

she’s a 10… but she just needs you to be patient with her because she's never been loved properly.

[disillusionedjudge]

Dad + Why did you kick Gylfie out? (For Takrin)

Send me ‘Dad’ and a question and my character’s Dad will answer it.

"Because she is a disrespectful whelp," Takrin replied crossly. "I will not tolerate such behavior after everything I have done for her, and until she learns her place, I will continue to punish her as I see fit. She ought to know how lucky she is to have a home at all, for if it were up to me, she would not be living here."

[disillusionedjudge]

((I came up with a different backstory for Gylfie that I'm gonna share under the cut to get it out of my system dfsgjhdf

Like at the start of her Rozarrian au, when Alsga realized she was pregnant, she pleaded with Takrin to allow Theodric to take their baby once it was born. Takrin agreed, but instead of returning to Rozarria, Theodric stayed in Archadia and renounced his homeland. It was done out of a, perhaps, foolish hope of allowing Alsga to have some connection to their daughter, but also because he knew his family would be furious if they learned what happened, especially considering the rising tensions between the Empires. However, he wasn't welcomed in Archades despite having been an Ambassador because of his Rozarrian past/blood, and Takrin quietly feeding into rumors of Theodric being a spy, and was left to live in Old Archades. Alsga being the mother of his daughter is swept under the rug, with it being said her child didn't survive, and when Silas was born about a year later, her first pregnancy was all but forgotten with her and Takrin never speaking of it, and Theodric never going to her again or acknowledging her as the mother of his child.

Gylfie is still named Gylfie, despite Olean being a name Alsga and Theodric agreed on, because, as I'm saying lol, Gylfie is a more Archadian name, while Olean is more Rozarrian but not unheard of in Archadia. Theodric wanted his daughter to fit in as much as possible, but because of the Empire being suspicious of his motives, he was pressured into sending Gylfie to boarding school in Archades. It was done so she could be kept under careful watch, and to ensure her loyalty would be to her birth Empire, rather than Rozarria. It worked, as her loyalty to Archadia is just as fervent in the beginning of this au as it is in her current main verse, although Theodric did his best to try and instill an open mind in her about his homeland. However, with it being known that Theodric is Rozarrian and not Archadian, regardless of how he presents himself or claims himself to be, Gylfie also faces scrutiny for being only half Rozarrian. She still makes some friends, including Ffamran and Myriel, and is often found in Archades vs Old Archades because of her boarding school, but that scrutiny and alienation only furthers her dogged loyalty to Archadia in an attempt to prove herself, and she grows to resent her Rozarrian half.

Gylfie still courts Myriel for several years, and still joins the military when she turns 16. Theodric isn't thrilled, but does his best to support her anyway. They have a far better relationship than Gylfie and Takrin do in her main verse, although they don't see eye-to-eye on Rozarria. However, she is stationed beneath Takrin, something out of his control, and he hates it. He knows who she is and wants nothing to do with her, and refuses to allow her to move through the ranks. He doesn't care how she's treated by the other soldiers, and only encourages any discriminatory behavior towards her by actively referring to her as a half-breed and a stray. This only fueled her anger, so it'd play similarly to how it goes in her main verse. Her ambition to become a Judge Magister is the same, and is fueled by her anger and her need to prove herself as a loyal Archadian, and not some half-breed or traitor. She still ends up breaking up with Myriel, but not before she's almost killed in a battle against Rozarria saving Takrin, although she only does so because she didn't think twice and because of her loyalty to her fellow countrymen. She doesn't hold any care for him specifically, given how he treats her, and regrets saving him like she does in her main verse. He leaves her to die, but is found by Silas who's able to get her help. Neither are aware they're half-siblings, but they don't get along by any means because of Takrin - Silas was just doing what was expected.

She's stuck on guard duty and training duty with Takrin repeatedly denying any promotions, and with her father starting to push her to leave the military, she's becoming increasingly frustrated. While Gylfie understands he's worried about her, she doesn't want to give up her dream, which causes a strain on their relationship. The strain pushes her to spend more time in Archades, which Takrin notices. Not long after, when Gylfie returns home, Theodric is gone.

There's no trace of him, and she knew it wasn't a robbery because nothing was missing. It was like he had simply left, but he'd never leave her like that. She knows that, but when she tried to report it to Takrin, he snapped at her that he wasn't going to waste resources on finding a "missing" healthy, grown man who was a traitor to begin with. They fight, but at the threat of losing her station, Gylfie is forced to back down. She's scared and angry, but before she can do something herself, her father's body is found a few days later on the outskirts of Old Archades. Although it was clear he had been killed, nothing is done - the Empire doesn't want to spend time investigating the death of a Rozarrian, after all, regardless of Gylfie's station. He was still a Rozarrian, even though he renounced his homeland, and Takrin's smear campaign did nothing to help. Gylfie attended Theodric's burial alone, for no one wanted to risk looking like a traitor by mourning him, and it only made Gylfie angrier.

Ffamran leaving planted a seed of doubt in Gylfie about Archadia, and her father's death only served to fracture her loyalty to her Empire. Despite that, she continues to work towards becoming Judge Magister, though her hatred of Takrin grows. She's later (by a year or so) noticed by Gabranth, and promoted to Judge when he and Drace decide to sponsor her. They and Gramis are aware of the situation involving her blood and Takrin's distrust, but Gramis approves of her promotion given his trust in Gabranth and Drace. Gylfie thrives under their instruction, and with them having a healthy criticism of Archadia, it helps her understand how dangerous blind loyalty can be, but it also helps her temper her anger by having someone believe in her. However, not even that can help

She does end up helping Alsga and Telina flee Archades, and Alsga recognizes her as her daughter, but doesn't say anything. Gylfie doesn't know them, but she helps them because she can see Alsga's desperation, and a little bit to get back at Takrin, since she believes he was somehow involved in her father's death. Takrin blames her for their disappearances, though doesn't have any proof, and doesn't come forward with such accusations - however, there is a confrontation between the two, and the truth comes out. Gylfie is shocked and angry, and realizes why Takrin was always targeting her. She stays quiet about it, but it does weigh on her.

Gylfie still kills Takrin on Bur-Omisace and Silas helps cover for her, and he does know she's his half-sister, either because Gylfie told him or he worked it out himself from Takrin. Really, it would play out the same as it does in her main verse, with her killing Silas as well after he threatens Larsa, and she becomes Judge Magister post-ffxii, though I'm not sure if it would be taking over Takrin's bureau or not. In general, it pretty much runs closely to how her info is now, heh, but with more focus on her being half-Rozarrian and her working through that.

[disillusionedjudge]

Do you wish you could spend more time with Myra and Cael?

@tarnishedxknight

Gylfie was quiet for a long moment - her jaw clenched tight as she drew in a slow breath, and released it. "I do," she admitted quietly as her gaze dropped. "I want to be there more for them both. I want..."

She trailed off, and ran a hand through her hair. She would have looked frustrated, if it weren't for the sorrowful glint in her eyes. "I want to see Myra grow up." Her voice was still hushed, as though she were speaking a grave secret. There was a tremor of guilt, of remorse, to her tone. "I want to be a better partner to Caele- Cael. But my career is important to me, and 'tis not something I can simply walk away from. I... I have thought about moving to Old Archades, but I would still spend much time away, traveling between there and the city proper just to work." Which left a different option, but... "I cannot ask Cael to move to Archades. His business would do well there, that I have no doubt, but I cannot ask him to uproot again when he has made a home in Old Archades. He is well-liked, his business is established, and it would be too dangerous for him to move somewhere with more eyes watching. There's..."

With another sigh, Gylfie shook her head, and closed her eyes for a moment to pull herself together. "There is much I want," she said slowly, "but I must accept the reality. I will support them as best as I can, and my love for them is no less because I am not there. While I like to think it could one day change, I have a duty to uphold as a Judge, and... 'tis too risky to try and change our situation now."

[disillusionedjudge]

4. Does your muse initiate a lot of physical contact? 5. Is your muse comfortable with public displays of affection? 7. Is your muse the big spoon or the little spoon? 8. Is your muse comfortable with, or proud of their body? Are they insecure? 14. Is your muse more submissive or dominant in a relationship? 15. Would your muse ever tempt their partner, e.g. flirting, wearing tight/sexy clothing? 20. Would your muse be interested in engaging with multiple partners?

Vanilla Sunday Meme

4. Does your muse initiate a lot of physical contact?

Mmm, yeah, I'd say so! It'll take her a bit to get there, but once she's comfortable with her partner, she'll want to be close to them in private settings. Anything from cupping their face to hugging, or even just holding their hand. Especially if they're sharing a bed - she's definitely a cuddler in that regard, heh.

5. Is your muse comfortable with public displays of affection?

Only with smaller displays! She's fine with hand-holding or leaning into them, but she's more private with her affections, and can get a little tense if her partner were to try and push for bigger displays, like kissing or holding her.

7. Is your muse the big spoon or the little spoon?

Definitely the big spoon, hands down, heh. That's not to say she wouldn't be the little spoon at times, but because of how protective she gets, she likes being able to hold her partner.

8. Is your muse comfortable with, or proud of their body? Are they insecure?

Gylfie's typically comfortable with her body, but her scars do cause some insecurities. Not all of 'em, but she has quite a few, and it's primarily the one on her neck and the one on her side. And, tbh, she... doesn't really think of herself as attractive? Like, not in a negative way, but she's so wrapped up in her career and her identity duty as a soldier/Judge that she just... hasn't stopped to think about how attractive she is. She's way too involved in her work for her own good, heh.

14. Is your muse more submissive or dominant in a relationship?

Dominant for sure, heh. That's not to say she wouldn't give that up, but she's not going to be completely submissive.

15. Would your muse ever tempt their partner, e.g. flirting, wearing tight/sexy clothing?

Oh, absolutely, lol, at least by flirting. Gylfie can be provocative when she wants to be, so she'll happily tempt her partner by flirting with them. I'm not sure about clothing? Maybe, depending on what it is, but flirting is absolutely her go-to, heh/

20. Would your muse be interested in engaging with multiple partners?

She would! Right now, her only poly ship is with Caelen and Eswynn (@tarnishedxknight's ocs), and if they were interested in that, she'd absolutely be willing to give it a go!

[disillusionedjudge]

Send me ‘Dad’ and a question and my character’s Dad will answer it.

[disillusionedjudge]

THE WITCHER: SEASON THREE Episode 1: Shaerrawedd

[disillusionedjudge]

Joy Sullivan, from “Soup”, Instructions for Traveling West

[disillusionedjudge]

((I was gonna try to write more, but I'm fading and still fighting a headache, so I'm going to call it a night! I'm not sure when I'll be around tomorrow, but I'll try to be on then!

[disillusionedjudge]

Netflix’s The Witcher ‧ Shaerrawedd

[disillusionedjudge]

🎬

Send 🎬 for a random scene in my muse's life.

The humiliation of being kicked out had long since passed, and all that was left was the creeping fear of being caught. She was trespassing, and while the legality of it had never stopped her before, she had was usually with friends. Now, however, it was just her, and her father's fury would be even greater than it had been earlier that night. Yet, as much as that thought made her nervous, she could hardly bring herself to care enough to try and find somewhere else to stay.

Gylfie crouched and crawled beneath the hole in the wall, slipping inside the darkened, dilapidated building - had it been a store, formerly? - and heaved herself to her feet. She remained still, listening as the silence remained, and with a slow breath, she willed a flame to dance around her fingers. The pull of her magick was warm and comforting, in a way, and helped ease the horrid ache in her chest as she carefully picked her way through the rubble. Dust clouded around her feet, catching in her nose and the back of her throat, but she forced herself to swallow her coughs as she covered her mouth with her freehand.

Gods above, how she wished she could have been anywhere else. Myriel was always her first choice, but... she was away with her family, visiting her aunt and uncle far outside the city. It was too risky to go to Fframran, for if they were caught, she knew the worst would be assumed, and, admittedly, she didn't want to have to deal with his father, even without such social restrictions. And the few other friends she could go to, she... couldn't. She didn't want to deal with their questions or questions from their family, and she... she didn't want to burden them. If she wanted shelter, then she needed to make do with this place, and it was far better here than it was trying to find safety in the various alleys of Archades.

It was a small room, with what she imagined to have been the storefront boarded up, but even without a hint of moonlight creeping through, Gylfie didn't want to risk being too close. She moved to the back, to door off to the side, and opened it - revealing what once had to have been storage. It would mean corning herself, but if she was out of sight...

She looked behind her, at the shadows that loomed beyond the faint flickering glow of the flame twined around her hand, and swallowed a hard lump in her throat. It would have to do. Just for the night. She could return home in the morn, and... She shook her head, and extinguished the flame from her hand as she stepped inside. With a fresh surge of magick, she sent a small gust of wind to the side of the room - blasting away dust and dirt from a spot for her to sit without dirtying her clothing. Even with her mouth covered, she nearly choked on what scattered in the air, and with a choked coughing fit, she lifted the front of her shirt to cover her mouth instead of her hand as she sputtered. And to think she could have been in her own bed--

Gylfie's eyes welled with tears as she squeezed them shut, caused by both the pain that choked her heart and the irritation of the dust, but as her coughing subsided, she forced herself to open her eyes and slink to the small spot she had cleared. Crying would be of no help to her now. It was... it was her fault she was in this position, anyway. No matter how much she wanted to blame her father, how much she felt it could have been avoided if her mother had just allowed her to go with her, it always came back to her.

With another flame, she made sure the ground was clear before she slowly sat down, and leaned against the wall - extinguishing it one last time as she drew her knees close to her chest, and rested her crossed arms over them. The silence was overwhelming, the darkness suffocating, but she bit her tongue to keep quiet as tears fell down her face. She just wanted to be home... but until her father left, she knew she wouldn't be welcomed back.

Gylfie buried her face into her arms, and quietly began to weep.

--------

She hardly slept through the night, and shortly before the dawn, when she woke yet again, she left. She crept out of the ruined store and back out into the alley that had been closed off, and hurried back home before she could be caught. Dirt and dust still clung to her clothes and her skin, and she prayed she wouldn't run into anyone else - let alone her father. She was far too exhausted to come up with a convincing lie, nor did she have the stomach for another fight. All she wanted was to wash off and curl up in her own bed, and actually sleep.

But as she neared home, she came to a stop. What if her father hadn't left already? Was he waiting for her? What if Silas was still asleep? She didn't have a key. How else could she--

Gylfie nearly jumped as the door opened, but to her relief, Silas stood in the entryway. His dirty blond hair was ruffled, his eyes bleary, but it was clear he had been waiting.

"Father left already," he said, his voice raspy from sleep. "You're fine."

Relief flooded Gylfie's eyes as her shoulders slumped with exhaustion she could no longer fight, and said nothing. Not having the strength nor heart to trust her voice, as, instead, she bowed her head and crept in past him like a dog with its tail between its legs. How quiet their home was without Takrin's looming presence, and even as the door shut behind them, she stood still for a moment to take it in. Gods above, how easy it would be to slump to the floor and sleep there, but the temptation of a comfortable bed was far stronger, even... even despite the tension in her chest. Because, for a home, it felt... unwelcoming.

Silas shuffled by her, clearly set on returning to bed himself, when he stopped short. "This could have been avoided, you know." Although his voice was still hoarse, it was... rather cold.

Gylfie winced, but said nothing as she stared at the ground.

"You are far too difficult," her brother continued, and turned to face her with a frown. He pushed his hair out of his face, and shook his head. "Was it worth it, Gylfie? How many times does father have to dismiss you until you learn to knock it off?"

"I live here." Her voice was broken - raspy and almost painful from the lack of sleep and use. Quiet but still edged all the same. "He kicked me out, Silas. He did not dismiss me. I am his daughter, not his soldier."

Silas groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Whatever. Just learn to shut up every once and awhile, yeah? It would save us both the headache of having to work around him. I'm tired of having to deal with your stubborn pride."

His words stung, but... she hadn't the strength to argue with him. It was pointless, anyhow, for she knew Silas would refuse to understand her side, or see just how differently Takrin treated them. He could do no wrong, after all, while she could never do anything right. It was how it always had been, and how it always would be.

So why did she keep fighting? What was there for her to prove?

Gylfie turned her head as Silas muttered under his breath before he left her behind - disappearing down the hall into his room, though she flinched as he slammed his door shut. She remained still for a little longer, debating the idea of simply leaving, but... The thought fell apart as fresh tears pricked her eyes. She sniffled and wiped at her nose, and wrapped her arms tightly around herself as she nearly staggered her way back to her room. Her gait was awkward, her mind struggled to remain awake, and she closed the door behind her before she made it to her bed and... crumpled. She would bathe later - no longer did she care about the dirt and dust that clung to her still. Her head pounded from exhaustion and unshed tears, her heart heavy in her chest, but she continued to shove it all down as she curled into herself above the blankets, and let sleep overcome her.

It was going to be a long week without her mother there to, unknowingly, keep her father in line.

[disillusionedjudge]

no matter how hard i try i will always be that little girl wondering why everyone is better friends with eachother than her and begging to be loved

[disillusionedjudge]

ANYA CHALOTRA as YENNEFER OF VENGERBERG THE WITCHER 3.01 Shaerrawedd

[disillusionedjudge]

@tarnishedxknight - continued from here

Oh, how safe she felt in Caelen's arms, lulled into a sense of security and peace as he ran his hand along her back. It was a feeling of comfort and belonging, and only further encouraged Gylfie to allow herself to be vulnerable with him. She could speak to him about anything and everything, she knew, and the kiss he left upon her hair only served to soothe the knot of worry in her chest. Her question was heavy in more ways than one, but... with him, it was alright.

She nuzzled him again in his silence, knowing it would've taken him by surprise, before she slowly propped herself up, her hands on either side of his torso, her head tilted slightly as she gazed down at him with an openness to her gaze that seemed to be only for him. Revealing her affection and her caution, her curiosity and her nervousness, as she searched his expression. Her hair cascaded down around her face - framing it. Did he think this a test of some kind? Did it come across as an insecurity? A worry?

Relief flickered in her gaze as Caelen responded with his truth, though, unlike her, he was rarely one to take to lying, even despite the life they now lived to hide their identities. Gylfie smiled, and leaned down to kiss his cheek. "Aye, which is why I am asking you," she said softly. "Nothing you've said or done has left me feeling pressured, both with Myra and my question. Quell such worry, my light, for you are far too good to me, and I know you will listen if I asked something different." It was something easier said than done, she knew that, but the sooner she could try and reassure him that this was her own decision, the better. As... difficult as her pregnancy had been, with her mind at war with her body, and as much as she had struggled to bond with their precious daughter, she never once blamed him.

"I... have been thinking about it," she continued, albeit a bit hesitantly, now, if only to collect her own thoughts. "I will not lie and say I enjoyed being pregnant, but I... But what we have now is wonderful. Growing up, I had been told I would be nothing more than a wife and mother with no room for my own desires. It left me resentful of such an idea, and until you, I had all but given up on even finding someone I chose to love." Her gaze softened, and her smile widened ever so gently as she shifted to pull her legs up beneath her, sitting beside him as she reached down to gently caress his cheek. "I miss what I had, yes, but I would not trade our life now to get it back. You have given me the love and safety I've yearned for without taking away my freedom or agency. I love you, Caelen, and I love Myra, and I do not regret what we have, even if this was never planned."

Her smile faded slightly, however, as she stifled a sigh, and Gylfie's gaze drifted away in thought. She still had yet to explain what had brought up her initial question about a second child, though she... admittedly, floundered herself to try and explain it aside from a stirring of a desire in her heart. "I have thought about this, so my question has not been made on a whim. It was... difficult being pregnant," not that she really had to explain that, "and I will not pretend it didn't affect you. I understand if that changes your mind, but if I allow myself to mentally prepare for it, I believe I will be alright." She paused again for a moment, and turned her gaze back to Caelen. "Having a second child is something I want as well. I love our family as it is, but I will not lie and say the idea of expanding it does not sound appealing. You giving me a choice has changed how I feel about this, and I want you to feel the same as well. I would like a second child, my love, if you do as well."

[disillusionedjudge]

((I'm just gonna throw this out there, but there is an au verse for thg in the works for this blog! I've been seeing the hype again here and on my personal account, but I wanna reread the books first before I set anything in stone! Though, rn, I'm thinking Gylfie would be from District 2, with either her being involved in the Games and being the Victor, or her being zipped into Peacekeeper recruitment