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It’s been a minute. Does anyone actually still follow me? Debating turning this into a private account lol

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Beginning this next decade with a solid career, a solid partner, a solid home, solid friendships… The Universe has been setting me up for success and it took many patient years to reap the fruits of my labor. • It’s true what they say - 30 is when life really starts. Im beyond grateful for all the lessons my 20’s brought. • That decade was a time to dive head first into the unknown and start to find out who I really am. • As I move into this next chapter, I feel the heaviness lifting, the anchoring in my body, the sureness in my decisions. • I’m excited and ready to embrace what is coming next ✨💜 I am right where I’m suppose to be 🙏🏼 . . . . . Thank you to my loving and adventurous partner who captured this magical moment on the knifes edge of Kelso Ridge. Another beautiful journey to show me I’m stronger than I think both mentally and physically. I love you and the life we live together @brendantreffinger 💖 #birthdaygirl #dirty30 #adventure #bringiton #climbingmountains #higherthanmost #cdt #magic #cheers (at Loveland Pass) https://www.instagram.com/p/CjiUX_dLehp/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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The first light onto the Ridge and we caught a glimpse of a Mountain Goat scaling the side as we ascended. These guys are some of the most fascinating creatures to me, I’ll never get tired of seeing them. They forever remind me: I am stronger than I think 🐐🪨 #optoutside #earlybird #mountaingoat #girlswhohike #ridgeline #rockymountains #cdt (at Bakerville, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CixWlg3u8Q5/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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“We can give ourselves over to the river we are flowing in, With the trust that the river is holding us, Always returning back to the great mother of the ocean, That is us as well… You can not be lost.” - East Forest, Meditation for Chaotic Times At peace, was what this moment felt like. One with Nature again, able to just be held and supported. I feel the most balanced after a healing session such as this. Days like this are vital for my health. What is your favorite way to reset after a long day/week/month? 💜 #eastforest #meditation #selfsoothing #riverside #natureheals #reset (at Taylor Park, CO) https://www.instagram.com/p/ChFNIJ-uJ65/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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33 days sober from alcohol 🙌🏼 Honestly, it’s not that I thought I had a serious problem or couldn’t handle myself, It was the exhaustion that I felt every day. The lack of motivation and inability to see the light. And this wasn’t all the time, just comes and goes. But it was coming and going more often. And I wasn’t drinking every day, either. (It took three tries to get here) I’m sharing this because something I’m learning is how much alcohol really effects the brain, especially in women. In the last 33 days I’ve: - started waking up on a routine again and actually feeling better to get going - Finding other activities to do at night (even though sometimes I do still just want to rest and watch tv) - Feeling more energy during the day - Feeling motivation and clarity coming back (not as much brain fog) - Feeling a sense of self worth and excitement around my life - Fear and anxiety isn’t as prominent (and I’ve been able to get back to rock climbing without having a major breakdown) I had been using alcohol as a way to release any chronic pain, stress or even just to celebrate, and so my brain associated all of those feelings with wanting a drink. Someone with a normal brain would have a really easy time quitting because they aren’t using alcohol as a protection. (Challenge yourself to go 3 weeks and if you can, you’re probably not as ingrained as I realized I was) As someone with trauma and other mental quirks, My brain searches for this security to hide me away from the heaviness I feel. I share this because this has been one of the HARDEST things I’ve ever done. I’ve been sitting at the bottom of a pit for what felt like weeks. But that’s part of the healing. (So thank you for seeing me in the darkness.) I didn’t want to, and some days I still don’t, but the promise of a brain that works WITH me and not AGAINST me is the light at the end of the tunnel. (Cont in comments..) (at Rifle, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ce3jT1PODQG/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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I feel like I’m finally coming up for air again after months of being buried. • Thank You, Mother, for your deep wisdom and ability to hold and heal. I love you, I love me. I’m so grateful for access to you. Your love is greater than any other✨ (at Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cdvuvj7uPDd/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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so fucking rude that skipping is considered childish when it is absolutely the best form of foot-based transportation. less energy intensive than running but faster than walking. i am being fucking efficient and it is not my fault that efficiency is also whimsical and silly looking

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Moving through some really uncomfortable shifts with people lately and it’s really just put me at my limit.

Finally ended things with a difficult “friend” which sucked because I could’ve spoken up more and shared my truth of WHY I felt so hurt for the last two YEARS of our friendship but instead I got angry and then just decided to leave it.

My heart feels lighter even though it’s been a tough thing to process.

Things with Brendan are… going…

It hurts to think I’m not enough for him but he assures me daily that’s not the case…

I hope we can get through this…

I know that it’s not a bad thing if things don’t work out but like….. I’m so invested In this and I don’t know how to not be…I love him and our life together and it hurts to think all of this could be gone…

I need like a whole week of massage and rest because my nervous system feels just utterly shot.

I need to refocus my energy and realign with my goals.

I just want to feel okay about taking time off because that’s something she never understood- coming from a place of no money or no access to financial support. So I CANT take off because I need to pay bills but how can I make money without working?

I’m calling in some sort of miracle money manifesting. I don’t know where it’s going to come from but I know the Universe sees me and wants to support me in this healing.

And so it is 🙏🏼

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Buying things to improve my massage studio makes me feel so grown up

Curtains? Wow, so adult!

Rugs? Whoa, who am I? (Shag, I might add)

A roller chair for the desk/massage? I deserve this and it’s serving me in the long run.

It feels amazing to be in my own space and know everything will continue to create a gorgeous area for my clients ✨💜

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Pam’s Art Exhibition // The Office

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And yet they call us “conspirators”….

It’s time to connect the dots, people.

It's not even hidden. People openly admit to this. They've literally said openly "most of the deaths are people with disabilities so we shouldn't care".

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What the Pillars of creation sound like | source

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“How to tell the temperature from your cat’s sleeping position.“  From Your Incredible Cat: Understanding the Secret Powers of Your Pet by David Greene.

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some new bullshit happens on this site and it stimulates the Posting economy