distress0h

[distress0h]

a new masterpiece… I suppose

it’s pretty late and I’m just gonna write some shit. Dunno who’s gonna make an appearance in this one but we will see

Jojo siwa sat on the beach with her wife, Bria Gwendolyn Dailey. “the sun is so pretty tonight” jojo said with a bit of pizazz.

“it makes me think of you baby” Bria replied.

they chatted some more while the sun set, nothing could ruin this night for them-Not after all they’ve been through.

a few months ago they HATED eachother. Bria was the weird kid who everyone hated- including jojo.

meanwhile the most popular girl in their sorority was jojo, everyone loved her. From her dance mom days to her singing days she never lost popularity. And even if she did… she just came back, almost like a boomerang.

anyways after a few months of getting to know eachother they found out they both liked the same K-pop group. “Twinkle my toes and make them blows” they debuted with their hit album “goons gonna getcha” an album about a mafia gang gone wrong when the leader betrayed the whole mafia.

the night seemed to go by as quick as a kid would find candy in a candy store. The sun faded into the void and they started walking home.

just then they saw something coming out of the water, it gave off a blue glow engulfing the beach. It was shark…

“NO I GOT RID OF YOU 5 YEARS AGO” jojo said with resolve

“well im back baby… like a boomerang” 🪃 Kachow

Bria fainted at the sight of a shark as she had never seen one and it made her think of the movie sharknado which made her think of an actor which made her think of a job which made her scared which made her faint.

Jojo saw this and cried out “NOOOOOO MY BABYYYY NOOOOO OH MY GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT IS GOING ON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OH MY LORDTTYTTTT”

the shark stood there confused. He couldn’t be confused for very long though as a red glow engulfed the sky approached the beach. It was Devin and friends. They landed on the beach in unison Devin leading the charge with a few others following behind.

this included the following people: The hood alien, Zarah clinging onto the hood aliens leg begging to go to his crib instead of taha, Jesus Christ, The deceased pope Francis, Gordon Ramsey, Brias dopplrganger, Jimmy Fallon, Gojo satoru, A mosquito, John CENA, xiao, Edna, Shaina, Caseoh, and Walter white.

The shark saw this crew and got scared of this immaculate perfect lineup so he called out his shark goons. 50 sharks came out of the ocean.

Devin punched a few and they died. Hood alien shook his dih on a frequency that hypotizrd one. Zarah followed one home cause it was funny. Jesus sacrificed himself to save the pope. The pope said stop. Gordon cooked the dead ones up after the fight was over. The mosquito gave 20 of the sharks malaria. John CENA killed 3. Xiao was js there idk. Edna made Bria a new back brace. Shaina killed jojo cause she was confused. Caseoh was just there for Gordon’s cooking after the fight. And Walter made some chemical explosion to kill the remainder sharks.

Gordon cooked em and everyone ate around a campfire

In the end Bria got over jojo dying cause she’s big and just wanted the food, Zarah won over the hood alien, and Devin was actually quan millz.

[distress0h]

The great conundrom

Mr ames walked furiously down the hall, Taha was being dragged by Mr Ames.

The classroom watched as Mr Ames took Taha to the priniciples office. Surely that would fix his behavior. He screamed about how the teacher was out to get him

Just then the hood alien decended from his UFO and came down to take bria to his crib. Bria cried out in agony and despair as she protested his actions.

Zarah saw this and wouldnt stand for her hg to be taken by Quan Millz's Hood Alien. She got up and spoke "LEAVE MY HG ALONE HOOD ALIEN" the school shook from her valiant words. or maybe it was just ms.Stoneburner getting up to see what was going on.

The hood alien was moved by the words and decided to take Taha instead. Taha was happy and went gladly.

heh.. yeah i put a lot of work into this one. you may be wondering where Devin is during this story. i mean everyone else is here. He faked sick again to stay home and play roblox.

[distress0h]

forced to reblog it

foggy windows . . .　⟢　

jj maybank x beachy!reader fucking in the twinkie

　　﹒　　⟡　　˙　new upload!　　🌴

　　❍　wrds: 921 　✿　jj maybank x beachy!reader　　﹒　

　　﹒　　　⟡　　˙　tags : smutsmutsmut, porn w no plot, car sex, cramped space, riding, obx universe, dry humping committee, sweat, ass slapping, creampie, getting caught 　🫐

　　⊹　🦩　　﹒ a/n: i haven’t posted a actual upload in so long, please enjoy this and send in more request!! (i’ll do them i swear) also 2 post in a row? i’m on a roll… heh　◍

proofread by two of my friends, but i wouldn’t trust his judgement… but always trust @sleepyjackets

you and jj have been giving eachother rather needy looks all day and subtle touches. you guys haven’t had a moment alone in what feels like decades (2 days), since everyone has been so focus on finding this hidden gold, especially, john b. you love the guy, but sometimes he can be a bit of a pushover about the whole gold thing. i mean— yeah, what if he really did find the gold and made us all rich? but you never really believed in it, you just helped in just incase he actually found the gold.

you and jj were camping out in the twinkie while the two of you waited for the others to come back. it’s already been 10 minutes, what could they be doing in that damn store? at this point, you didn’t even care. all you cared about was jj, that looked oddly sweaty, constantly squirming around in his seat. to be fair, it did feel like it was over 100 degrees in this truck. but all you could think about was jj and his suspiciously hard cock you noticed, but decided to not say anything. you inched closer to him, your sweaty palms in your lap as you turned your head to jj, who immediately made eye contact with you.

“i think we both know what’s about to happen..” jj says, letting out a breathy chuckle as his voice slightly more rushed than usual to the constant sweating as he ran a hand through his hair.

“mmm, yeah.” you said with a wide smirk on your face as you suddenly climbed on top of him, feeling his boner first hand.

like it was planned, the two of you began to have a very steamy and sweaty make out sesh (due to it being so hot, but y’know, very intimate.) while the two of you were mouth harassing each other, you found a steady rhythm, grinding against his clothed cock as your hands found his cheeks, sending your tongue down his mouth hungrily, whimpers and moans being let out by the two of you. at this point, you didn’t care who or what was watching if someone were to be watching you.

“mmh— ahh..~ f—fuck jj..~!” you said, as u began to grind faster against his clogged cock, your getting kisses deeper and deeper as he found his hands under your shirt, roaming the bare skin of your stomach, undoing your bra with his shaky and sweaty fingers.

“f—fuck [name]… ” jj said breathlessly as he took off your bra from beneath your shirt, gripping your tits like his life depended on it.

only a few minutes after that, jj shamelessly came all over his jeans, looking up at you with a satisfied, but not a fulfilled face as he rushed to undo his dark washed jeans, pulling them down as he let out a hiss when he pulled them down over his penis, it painfully hard. you did the same as him, taking off your jean shorts with a rushed pace, your panties falling right after. you looked at jj, letting out a smirk before you pulled off his boxers, arranging yourself to sit on his dick, the both of you letting out a moan as you rolled your heads back at the same time. you began to bounce on your boyfriends dick, moans fluttering out of the both of your mouths.

“o—oh my god… f—fuck [name]… just like that b—babygirl…” jj said, giving your ass a nice and encouraging slap earning as whiny moan out of you, smirking, his teeth glistening from the reflection of the sun. he reached for your chin as he pulled you in for another deep, passionate kiss, spit traveling through both tongues as you reached to get a strong grip on his hair, your bounces having more impact on him as his body twitched. the two of you paused as u heard a slight noise of some footsteps, but it wasn’t anyone u cared about.

you continued to bounce on his slippery and sweat cock, pulling your shirt off, making you completely naked, your tits bouncing up and now as he made a attempt to catch them, smiling at you as he let out a deep groan.

“fuck [name]— i’m coming—i’m coming…— fu—“ he said, his voice deep as he felt you in place, leaving a huge load inside of you, letting out a sigh of relief as he heard the car door swing open, reaching for a nearby blanket and covering your chest by pulling you close to him. luckily, but not luckily it was just john b.

“im back, i just had to grab a few things from the store— oh my god what the fuck—“ he said as he looked in the back seat to reveal your naked back and your body pressed against jj, john b’s expression shocked and utterly disgusted, moving his head out the car and turning away, letting out a dramatic gag.

jj wiped the sweat off of his face as his expression basically said ‘oh shit’, moving to sit up with u still on his lap, and still on his dick.

“john b— cmon man, i— uh—“ he said as he let out a humorless chuckle, moving you off of him as he pulled his pants and boxers back on, the obvious boner in his pants as he helped you put your shirt back on while you put on your undergarments, moving to sit next to him.

“just hurry up and get dressed you freaks, gosh.”

[distress0h]

A day at school.

Bria walks back crooked. cane in hand. determined to get to class before the bell rings. she stayed up until 5 am yesterday reading and writing fanfiction. smut included. she went to class and a few periods later she heard it.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH" some high pitched scream from the hallway.

Kids flooded the hallways to see the fight.

"THERE WAS ROACHES IN THE CEREAL" she could see it now, devin said there was roaches in the cereal

Zarah stood, stance firm. She screamed "ROACHES IN THE CEREAL, AAAAHHAHHHGHGHHGHHGHH"

she threw a punch, it landed directly on devins face. leaving a red mark. Devin fought back throwing weak ass punches that an ant wouldnt falter at. Mr wade walked menacingly down the hallway.

"STOP FIGHTIN" the man spoke with resolve. he doesnt stand for this uncouth behavior.

suddenly quan mills came and broke up the fight. he wanted to sell them his newest copy of his best-selling book, "This hoe got roaches in her crib" Devin saw the covered and pulled out a 50 to pay him. Zarah soon followed. Bria was in awe at this exchange. as they read the book the fighting ceased.

Bria stole devins copy of Quan Mills best selling book. Devin just bought another with his 5 bands. Then mr wade got beat up by the alien hood rat.

Devin read the book so quick, because of his reading skills he aquired after reading 12 novels. yes he really read those. what a scholar. hes the most humble person on earth.

soon zarah liked all of his tumblr posts and everyone was friends. They realised that the hatred that had been inside of them for so long... was, unnesicary. and then everyone sang and danced and waas friends n shit. like an elmos world episode. as this happened aedie pulled up and jumped bria. her back gave in and she fell. but her gang of mma fighters couldnt stand by and watch.

They came together and said "DONT TOUCH MY FRIEND YOU SCUMBAG" they jumped her and she ended up with roaches in her cereal. the joke will never die if its spaced out properly.

FIN~

[distress0h]

The crash

the plane flew in the empty skies passing clouds. Bria sits next to her 2 friends, Zarah a mean girl who doesnt like devin for some unexplained reason that nobody knows, and Cecelia who i dont know about. They are excited to go to nationals and everyone knows its finna be fire.

"I hope tyler talks to me when we get there" bria said with excitement in her voice.

Zarah looks at her with a concerned look, "Bria... thats the 1424 time you've brought him up... you have a problem."

cecelia nods in agreement while Bria tried to explain herself. She cant.

they fucking crash in the fucking fuckass ground.

Zarah is the first to wake up. she looks around and sees cecelias head chopped off. "oh no."

she sees brias face has a scratch on it "BRIA NO OMG ARE YOU OK AHGHHHHHAHH ROACHESS IN THE CEREALL AHHHHHHHHGHGHH."

bria wakes up looks at cecelia and goes "oh no."

Tyler also dies so bria lowk dies too.

then Zarah lives but then goes to mr Ames classroom and kills devin thus putting her in jail for the rest of the forseeable future.