distressedoverajinx - Tumblr blog

[distressedoverajinx]

I look forward to the day I can compile this blog with all its dates and use it to help explain how emotional, financial, and non-contact csa can make people think

[distressedoverajinx]

It would be swell if there was a way to kill myself without hurting my sister and my boyfriend.

[distressedoverajinx]

Self care is screaming and crying at your mother's urn for openly favouring your cousins and older siblings over you.

[distressedoverajinx]

I was wrong. Big shock there.

In 2024 everything is going to get better and I will finally be happy and no longer deal with food insecurity

[distressedoverajinx]

The separation I feel from other survivors of non-contact csa is incredibly lonely. Am I supposed to be happy that the person who talked me into roleplaying sex when I was 11 was a 17 year old woman? And I supposed to be relieved that "at least it wasn't a man"?

I was stuck in that "relationship" until I was 16. I am isolated on the lonely island that is being an AFAB person with an AFAB sexual abuser. I feel I have no right to speak up about my experiences because someone will inevitably use me as a way to silence others.

It's not something I survived. This trauma is a burden I am stuck with forever.

[distressedoverajinx]

Staff have done their best to hide this post, OP's blog has been deleted to hide it. Spread this post as much as you can (ideally through screenshots to avoid it being nuked)

[distressedoverajinx]

Wish I could explain to you that the reason why this debt is so upsetting is because the debt is literally worth more than my life. I'm not worth 10 dollars, so I'm definitely not worth over $30,000.

And for all the Europeans who like to make fun of Americans for having no universal healthcare- News flash you jackass, it's not something we want either. I'm 22 and in more debt than my life is worth. It would be easier and cheaper if I killed myself, tbh.

[distressedoverajinx]

Me: Hi honey, how are you?

My boyfriend: *fucking drop kicks me into subspace*

Me: :0!

[distressedoverajinx]

just saw a post that said "tboy daddy doms" sorry that's not a tboy that's a tman.

[distressedoverajinx]

Being autistic is a curse and it would be better for everyone if I gave myself an icepick lobotomy.

[distressedoverajinx]

My accessibility requirements are a burden to my family and I want to kill myself

[distressedoverajinx]

I am deeply frustrated with my sister. Why ask my opinion on the Dr.Doom RDj announcement if you don't want an honest one??

[distressedoverajinx]

DONT YOU EVER YELL AT MY FUCKING SISTER AGAIN YOU STUPID FUCKING WRETCH. IF YOU REALIZE YOUR BEHAVIOR IS A FUCKING PROBLEM THEN CHANGE! IF YOU WANNA KEEP USING YOUR SUICIDAL IDEATION TO MANIPULATE AND HURT MY BEST FRIEND THEN FUCKING DO IT ALREADY! KILL YOURSELF ALREADY!! I DONT CARE IF THIS IS HEARTLESS OR CRUEL TO SAY

STOP SAYING YOU'RE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF. KEEP THOSE THOUGHTS INSIDE LIKE I DO- IM LIKE TEN FUCKING YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU AND I HAVE BETTER CONTROL THAN YOU AND I KNOW THAT I AM BETTER THAN YOU BECAUSE I'VE BEEN SUICIDAL SINCE I WAS EIGHT FUCKING YEARS OLD AND IVE NEVER USED IT TO HURT YOU OR ANYONE ELSE.

I know I'm better, because I am posting this on my vent Tumblr instead of going off on Facebook messenger like I want ❤️

[distressedoverajinx]

I'm begging God for a miracle. I think this might be the month everything bad happens

[distressedoverajinx]

I think the worst part about being sick and sleeping a lot is the loneliness I get stuck with because no one else in the house is awake and this cycle will repeat

[distressedoverajinx]

I'm going to go back in time and beat my dad for making me this way. My heart shouldn't race and anger spike the second someone sounds vaguely upset with me. I shouldn't be this way.

Why did he have to ruin me? What was so wrong with me that neither parent liked me?

[distressedoverajinx]