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How To Prove Income In A Maryland Divorce (voluntary impoverishment)

How to prove income in a divorce or custody case (voluntary impoverishment)

Perhaps you have heard political pundits or television detectives use the phrase "follow the money" to suggest that tracking who profits from a curious scenario will suggest the truth of the matter? In a divorce this way of thinking may often guide the court in its decision making.  Take for example the Maryland case of Goldberger v Goldberger.   That case and other cases address the challenge of "voluntary impoverishment."   The concept of voluntary impoverishment is where a person artificially manipulates their income so they can avoid child support alimony or other assessments in favor of their estranged spouse or significant other.  Aka "baby mamma...baby daddy:)"   The payor may artificially deflate their income to avoid such assessments and the payee may deflate their income to enhance the obligation.   Timing is usually the biggest tip off to this income manipulation.  A person getting laid off, overtime and bonuses drying up all in the midst of litigation is just too big a coincidence to be a coincidence. Another tip off is expenditures.  If a person's expenditures exceed their income there is something funny.  I don't mean the American dream of living on credit.  I mean actual cash expenditures that seem to be "coming from nowhere"  is a clear sign that hidden income is being had. Hence evaluation of a person's finance from the spending aspect may be the best way to prove their income is being fudged or obscured. Hence "follow the money."

Tim Conlon Esquire at

The Divorce Place

      322 West Patrick St, #101 Frederick Maryland 21701

240 575-9298

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Divorce Trends in Maryland

Divorce Trends

In the United States, around 3.6% of marriages are ending every year, with the rates being even higher for second marriages. However, although the national divorce rate is extremely high, the divorce rate in Maryland is one of the lowest in the United States. The divorce rate is 2.8%, which is a decrease from around 3.3% in previous years.

Divorce?   Divorce is the termination of a marital union, dissolution of the bonds of matrimony as well as ending the responsibilities of marriage. In order for a divorce to be binding there needs to be court action involved. Divorce can be stressful and emotionally exhausting, most attorneys strive to keep the focus on the well-being of each client and their children.

Divorce Process The process of divorce can often be unpleasant for both parties involved.   Yet 90% of all divorces are granted without court intervention or adversarial hearings.  Contested divorces can be a long, time-consuming process and very expensive. 

Contested divorces are almost always a result of disagreements about alimony, pensions or children.

Uncontested Divorces There are alternative ways to separate, through filing for a no fault divorce which is when both parties work together to settle their separate affairs. An absolute divorce allows for both parties to be able to remarry after the divorce is final.

There are several grounds for absolute divorce some of which are:  

adultery

desertion for up to 12 months

cruelty of treatment of complaining party or minor child of complaining party

conviction of a felony or misdemeanor and sentenced to three years in a penal institution

or insanity.

Once the divorce papers have been filed, a court date will be set, and then a Judge will issue a judgment of divorce, after 30 days the divorce will be final.

The Divorce Place

322 W. Patrick St, #101, Frederick Maryland 21701

240 575-9298

http://www.thedivorceplace.com/

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Voluntary Impoverishment In Maryland Child Support Cases

What is Voluntary Impoverishment Theory and Practice In Maryland Child Support Cases

If you spend any time in the Frederick County child support court you will no doubt hear the term: "voluntary impoverishment."  If a parent with a child support obligation comes to court perennially unemployed or underemployed it may convince a judge that he/she is "voluntarily impoverished".  

  If the judge determines there to be voluntary impoverishment, the judge may then calculate a child support obligation from that voluntarily impoverished parent using an income greater than he/she is showing on his pay stubs and/or financial statement(s).  It is a contingency to prevent people from "getting one over" on the system.

Thus, if the impoverished parent is lying, he/she gets away with nothing.

However, if the parent is unemployed or underemployed in through no faults of his or her own: then he/she is screwed.  

The system has thereby "gotten one over" on him.  Not a good thing, huh

A classic case of voluntary impoverishment is where a parent comes to child support court with an income lower than he/she has historically had before the parents were embroiled in a child support or custody dispute.  If the judge determines that the person is voluntarily impoverished, the judge will "attribute" income to that voluntarily impoverished parent.

Income attribution is a practice in child support and other domestic cases whereby the judge uses a higher figure for a party's income than the party is claiming to have.  Remember, child support is calculated using a formula called the Maryland child support guidelines.  Yet what goes into the formula is critical.  Sh-t in…. sh-t out.   

If the judge determines a party to be voluntarily impoverished the judge may factor the guidelines based upon an input to the guidelines of an inflated amount. For example, a parent who had made $5,000 per month in the years leading up to court but only shows $3,000 on his pay stub on the day of court may be subject to child support based up the higher $5,000 per month.  That is income attribution.

While many people believe voluntary impoverishment is a condition unique to the non-custodial or payor parent, such is not the case.  I have often times seen a parent who is the principal custodian or payee parent voluntarily impoverish themselves for the purpose of unfairly inflating the other parents child support obligation. 

Tim Conlon Esquire at

The Divorce Place -

322 W. Patrick St. #101, Frederick Maryland 21701

240 575-9298

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Teenager Suing Her Parents for Support

Teenager Sues Her Parents For Support

Well a New Jersey teenager is suing her parents for private school tuition, college tuition and support.  See the following link:  http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/04/justice/student-sues-parents-new-jersey/

It appears she left the parent’s  home prior to her 18th birthday and alleges she was the victim physical and emotional abuse . Preceding her leaving from the home was when a parent, or both, cancelled her private school tuition.

The case is drawing great nationwide attention for all the usual reasons: Rich Kidz gone bad, courts are a joke, and of course the perennially nostalgic: "can you even imagine what would happen if we had done that when we were kids?"  Everybody loves to hate spoiled kids, bad parents and Lawyers so this story is a New Jersey trifecta.

This sort of thing does come up in Maryland divorce cases.  The context is a little less newsworthy but equally perverted.  Many parents build provisions for their children's college tuition into the divorce.  They do this in varying ways.  

Some parents build it in by having a trust/college account where one or both parents is the account administrator for the child's account.  Some put contribution to the child's college in their divorce agreement including obligations to pay a percentage or specifying that specific sums be set aside for the schooling.  Some provide for their children's college by avoiding lawyers altogether:-)

Two interesting  phenomenons grew out of these divorce agreements.  One was the student who would not go to college and the other was the student who would not stop.  Hastily worded agreements about college can create what is known as a “3rd party beneficiary.”  That means theoretically your kid(s) could sue one or both parents for not following the agreement.  

It’s really crazy but not really, really, really crazy.  A lot of people speculate that in the current economy a young person is better served opening a business, or investing the 100k for college versus getting a degree for its own sake.  A student who does not want to go to college but would like the money instead might bring a lawsuit.  

A student who starts college and never wants to stop could also present a problem.  Remember the movie “Animal House” where John Belushi says college has been the best ten years of his life?  A kid that messed up can cause a lot of trouble if they become addicted to toga parties and soke their parents for the money.

I will confess the above scenarios are like “urban legends” for divorce and custody lawyers.  Nobody I know has had adult children sue the parents for college money.  Every lawyer I have talked to who brings up 3rd party beneficiary issues “knows a guy...who knows a guy” that was faced with it.  Yet, in our litigious society it goes on as evidenced by the Jersey Girl.

Tim Conlon Esquire at

The Divorce Place -

322 W. Patrick St. #101, Frederick Maryland 21701

240 575-9298

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Snow Day Child Visitation Exchanges in Frederick Maryland

What Happens When School Closes And You’re Supposed To Return Kids? People will always fight about something.  Particularly when you consider people who have had to return for clarification of a court order on one, or more, occasions.  At this time of year there are even some people who can’t agree what to do with their children when there is a school snow closing or the roads are not safe to travel. Air travel and long distance travel can be affected by weather conditions but if a flight is cancelled, it’s just cancelled.  What can anybody do about that?  Road travel is almost universally the issue for that reason. Take for example a court order that says mom gets the children from “afterschool” on Fridays and takes the child back to school on Monday.  What if the school has a snow closing?  

Does she adhere to the time when school would have started when she returns on Monday?  Does she have the right to collect the child on Friday only at the time school would have recessed?

Now the matter gets more complicated when you consider that the school is closed for a reason in the first place.  If school is closed for hazardous driving conditions mom may not want to be on the road Monday morning.  She is probably right.  

Under such circumstances the best approach is to try to agree with father on an alternate return time or even an alternate return day.  Yet the best laid plans…...don’t often work.  The mother may feel compelled to photograph driving conditions to prove the wisdom of delaying exchange.  It is the father whom I would counsel more strongly under such conditions.

If the school closing was on Friday the mother may insist that she collect the child no later than the time at which school would have recessed.  Mind you, the road conditions may have improved by that time.  

If they have, she should likewise attempt to alternate the time or day that she collects the child.  It is the mother to whom I would recommend  compromise over insistence on the exchange.  With that said, woe to the parent who tries to blow off the other parent’s visitation based on closed school but dry roads.

If you get set up in a situation where you are threatening contempt, or even involvement of the police, for an exchange on a snow day, it is a lose-lose scenario.  

At best, the judge is going to characterize you as somebody who is unreasonable to deal with.  More likely, the judge is going to be pissed that you are making an issue of something so trivial.  If you go so far as to involve the police in this scenario when they could be out protecting the public from hazardous conditions, God help you, because you will need the help.

Tim Conlon Esquire at

The Divorce Place -

322 West Patrick St, #101, Frederick Maryland 21701

240 575-9298

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What is “Supervised Visitation” or a “Supervised Visitation Center?”

Supervised visitation centers are a reality of the modern custody and divorce world.  A supervised visitation center can be a specific building, an agency or even a church.  In the past, some churches and social welfare agencies have offered the service free of charge.  More recently agencies and organizations who offer the service for a fee have become common.

Yet, what is “supervised visitation” or a “supervised visitation center.”  It depends. In some cases the “supervision” part is the issue and in other cases it is more of a problem with the exchange.

In most cases the supervised visitation or the supervised visitation center is just intended to keep the mother and father away from each other.  Such an arrangement may be appropriate if the parents (or one parent) just can exchange the children without drama.  An example of need for such a service would be: parents who are following one another after the exchange, parents yelling/swearing at each other, failing to exchange certain items of the child, chronic lateness or simply all of the above.

The job of the center is to minimize or eradicate the effect any of that has upon the child.

In such an example, the 1st parent drops off at the center a few minutes before the other parent arrives or the parents go in different entrances and out different exits.  Yes, it is amazing that there is a need for that with 2 people who are “adults” and who ought to be able to recognize the effect of this upon the children.  

In other cases the parent’s time with the child needs to be supervised in some fashion.  If the court is concerned that one of the parents is drinking or using drugs with the child the job of the center may be to test a parent and cancel the visit if alcohol or drugs are detected.  Only a small percentage of supervised visitation is to protect the children from abuse.  Often the best centers won’t even provide that service because they are not police stations.

Just because a judge orders supervised visitation or supervised exchanges, does not mean it will be required for long.  It does not mean the judge has blamed somebody for actual abuse and it does not mean the judge was convinced of actual abuse by the parent who asked for supervision.  It usually just means the judge can’t rule it out and wants to test the waters for a short period of time with observation by disinterested (yet concerned) third parties.

Tim Conlon Esquire at

The Divorce Place -

322 West Patrick St, #101,  Frederick Maryland 21701

240 575-9298

http://www.thedivorceplace.com

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In the past 20 years the Frederick County Courthouse has only closed for snow 3 times

Not even for freezing rain, or ice storms...

Many people with court dates assume that if the Frederick County Government announces it's closed due to inclement weather, the court system is part of the county government... the Frederick County Courthouse is still likely to be open. If you were due in court for a child custody case, or a divorce case, either the case could be continued, the case could be tried without you, you won't be there to defend yourself!  

If you had a traffic case or a criminal case that day. that assumption could get you a bench warrant issued for Failure To Appear!

      Tim Conlon, Esquire for The Custody Place

OUR PHONES ARE ANSWERED 24/7

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The Divorce Place

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Can Maryland Divorce Court Order A Spouse Out Of The House?

Can you get evicted from your own home? Can you get your spouse evicted?

Can the Court order a spouse out of the house?

Maryland Law provides that a parent can be awarded “use and possession” of the parties marital home because it is in the best interest of the parties’ child(ren) that they remain in the surroundings those children have come to know.  The use and possession order can extend to household furnishings, vehicles and other property so long as the court acknowledges that property as “family use” property.

The intent behind use and possession is really important in deciding if and/or whether a spouse may be entitled to the home.  

First and foremost, this is a custody based concept, period.  

You cannot be awarded use and possession if you do not have children in common with your spouse.  That’s it.

The actual statute can be found at the following link and is referenced below.  

http://www.lexisnexis.com/hottopics/mdcode/

Md. FAMILY LAW Code Ann. § 8-206  (2013)

§ 8-206. Family home; family use personal property -- Legislative policy

  The court shall exercise its powers under §§ 8-207 through 8-213 of this subtitle:

  (1) to enable any child of the family to continue to live in the environment and community that are familiar to the child; and

  (2) to provide for the continued occupancy of the family home and possession and use of family use personal property by a party with custody of a child who has a need to live in that home.

The court can pass an order of use and possession at a pendente-lite hearing, an interim or emergency hearing, as part of a limited divorce or  part of an absolute divorce.  In the case of an absolute or limited divorce, the judge is restricted to a maximum of 3 years from the date of the judgment of divorce.

In the case of the other decisions, such as a pendente hearing, there is no restriction as to the period of time but a pendente-lite, interim order are limited to the life of the case, so they will not last beyond 3 years either.

It has been my experience that an award of use and possession is almost never granted for the maximum period of time. It is much more common to order use and possession at a stage before the final divorce.  

There are several conditions precedent for a court being empowered to consider a use and possession award.  First, the court must consider if the house or property at issue is “family use” property.  Next, the court must weigh the actual or potential impact of a use and possession award against the individual spouses 5th Amendment Constitutional right to enjoy the property or it’s value against the best interest of the child(ren).  Last, the court must determine the duration of the award.

It has likewise been my experience that an award of use and possession is contingent upon the other financial issues crafted into the court’s decision.  For example, if the financial components of the final judgment make it possible for the spouse granted use and possession to pay the expenses of the home or property, it is more equitable to grant the award because theoretically the other spouse is not financially prejudiced.

On the other hand, in some cases the court has ordered another party to pay the home mortgage.  In such a case the court will be less inclined to tie up the house with a long use and possession order.

Finally, another paramount consideration is the age of the children and how long they have lived in the home.  A child in their late teens will likely be presumed to be mature enough to understand and negotiate a move to a new house.  A child under 3 will likely be presumed to be of insufficient age to understand the significance of a move.  Thus use and possession is more likely an issue with children 4-14 years of age.

Tim Conlon Esquire at

The Divorce Place – Divorce Attorneys in Frederick Maryland

810 E South St Frederick Maryland 21701

240 575-9298

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Shared Physical Custody Worksheet Maryland on Flickr.

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What Do You Need To Prove Adultery in Frederick Maryland?

So, what do you need to prove entitlement to a divorce grounded upon adultery?  That is a question…

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Marital Property in Maryland Divorce, Cars, Real Estate and Retirements

Distribution of Marital Property in a Maryland Divorce

In a preceding article about marital property division in a Maryland divorce I described the distinction between community property division and equitable distribution of property.  I also indicated that, while parties to a Maryland divorce might be eligible for a monetary award, most divorce cases do not include a monetary or marital award.

In this article I will attempt to explain how marital property is distributed or handled in those 90% of Maryland divorces where the parties are not granted a monetary award.

Other than cars, the bulk of property/wealth that married couples have is tied up in the marital home and/or in retirements.  Those property items don't generally require a specific monetary award.  By that I mean a judge usually won’t have to hear arguments from each side and then order the husband to pay the wife a sum of money at the time of divorce, or vice versa.

Automobiles

Cars are just not worth much.  If they are, there is usually debt associated with them.  Of course, there are cases where one spouse has a car worth an obscene amount of money and the other spouse is not on the title.  Albeit rare, that might foreseeably be a basis for a monetary award but when you consider the definition of marital property alot of times a valuable car like that might not even be marital property.

If it’s a classic car, it might have been acquired before the marriage.  Under such circumstances it would not be marital property at all.  So we are left in most circumstances with a house and/or retirements as the most valuable items in a typical "marital estate."  

Homes and Real Estate

Most marital homes or houses are in the name of both spouses.  Generally, that is because both parties were required to sign on before the bank would approve a mortgage of the size necessary to buy a significant home.  In other cases, where there was only one spouse on the home to start with, the other spouse usually got added at a later date.  There are several circumstances where this happens.

First, it has been my experience, that spouses don't take kindly to residing in a home that is not in both names so the second name may have been added to keep the peace.  Other times, people have gotten second mortgages and/or home equity loans and the bank wants another spouse "on the hook."  There are yet some other circumstances where both spouses are on the mortgage but not on the deed for the house.

We see that dilemma more and more often these days, as we are inching further into the hangover from the real estate high times of 1999 through 2007.  During that period, mortgage companies were playing a little more fast and loose than they did in the preceding or subsequent years.  

If you have that situation where you are on the mortgage but not on the deed, and you are considering divorce:  SEE A LAWYER IMMEDIATELY.  There are plenty of reasons to consult a lawyer anyway.  Getting stuck with a few hundred thousand dollars in debt, without any ownership in the property to show for it is a very, very bad situation.  I continue to be surprised how many spouses are in that predicament and don't even know it!

Well, presuming both spouses are on the deed of the marital home the situation in such a divorce can usually resolve itself organically without a court order or monetary award.  That happens along the following lines.  

When two spouses are on the deed that type of ownership is called "tenants by the entireties" often referred to as "T by E."  That really means that the spouses are co-owners except because they are married it's called T by E.  You don’t have to check your paperwork, if you are married and on the deed, you are T by E.

The reason for this little twist in the language for married co-owners is so that if/when the first spouse dies, the other surviving spouse automatically inherits the whole property without having to pay inheritance tax.  The idea is that the surviving spouse owned the whole property to begin with so she/he did not inherit anything when the other spouse died.  That’s the "in the entities" part.

When unmarried parties co-own a property it's called "joint tenancy."  If you are the co-owner of property without being married and you don't want to be co-owner of that property anymore, you can request it be sold and split the profits.

If the other co-owner says “no way Jose” you can force the sale in a legal proceeding called a Petition for Sale in Lieu of Partition.  It’s a lawyerly way of saying the obvious, which is that you can’t chainsaw the thing in half and each keep your respective half house.  So unmarried co-owners can force sale of the co-owned property.

When married T by E owners of a home get divorced, Shazaam...they are joint tenants now and they are therefore entitled to the remedies described above.  Thus, divorced co-owners can force sale of the marital home if they can’t agree to simply list it for sale and split the proceeds.

Presented with the prospects of such a sale, like it or not, the former spouse who wants the property the most will usually attempt to “buy out” the other’s one half share. In the current market, where appraisal values are low and mortgages are hard to get,this is often just not gonna happen.  Then again sometimes, the pension or retirement funds described below might provide a means to that end.

Pension and Retirement Assets

In pension and retirement plans the court is not required to go through the analysis required in a monetary award.  Instead the court can just declare that the spouse with such an asset be ordered to pay the other respective spouse one half of the marital share of the retirement asset.  If they both have pensions the court may order that they exchange a specific amount sufficient to make those retirement assets of equal value.

The order that a court issues under those circumstances is called a “Qualified Domestic Relations Order” or QDRO (quadro).  The order is called a “qualified” order because, if properly drafted, it will not be subject to income taxes just like the original contributions to the retirement vehicle.  If it is a true pension and not a tangible fund of money (401k or IRA) the judge can order the spouse be paid his/her respective share when the other spouse retires and begins to receive benefits.  That is called an “as, if and when distribution.”

For more complete treatment of QDROs and the retirements in a divorce, I will be posting another article.

Timothy Conlon, Esq. The Divorce Place.

Attorneys in Frederick Maryland

The Divorce Place

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Divorce in the News

People often lose custody for “crying wolf” about child abuse.

http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/a-child-custody-catastrophe-204810201.html

  When abuse of a child, particularly sexual abuse, is raised between warring parents the subject  everything…

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How Long Does it Take To Get Divorced in Maryland?

How long does it take so to get a divorce in Maryland?  What do you have to prove?

Historically Maryland was founded as a strongly Catholic community.  Over the centuries, some of Maryland’s domestic laws remain twinged with a penchant toward preserving marriage.  That’s a warm fuzzy way of saying that Maryland can be a hard state to get a divorce. Divorce is always hard and I don’t mean the emotional havoc that divorce visits upon the parties involved.  I mean the nitty gritty little details of getting the divorce signed by a judge.  For example, in Maryland the married partners must live separately for over twelve months before they can obtain an uncontested divorce based upon separation. In contrast, I am told that neighboring states such as Pennsylvania only require the parties to live apart for 90 days before they are eligible for a divorce.  In Maryland you have to be a resident of this state for over 12 months before you even file for the divorce.  Again some neighboring states only require residency for 30 days before you file. Now if you contemplate the foregoing AND you ponder how close Gettysburg is to Frederick, you might consider a brief relocation over the border to “the Quaker State.”   Theoretically you could move there for a month, file for your 90 day uncontested divorce in Pennsylvania and still be finished 8 months before you could in Maryland.  I am not a Pennsylvania Lawyer so I don’t know if that is really possible.  I have heard of people doing that but, as I so often warn the uninitiated: urban legends don’t hold up in court! You would have to get a Pennsylvania lawyer to verify the myth.  Personally,  I think that is a whole lotta running around to speed up something that in the end just a piece of paper.

Yes, I said a divorce is “just a piece of paper.”  That is not an act of divorce lawyer blasphemy. 

Remember we were talking about an “uncontested divorce".  If nothing is contested, what’s another 8 months of legal separation versus an actual divorce? Apparently, some folks in North Carolina think that even a one year divorce is too soon because they are considering stepping up to a 2 year divorce law.  According to the North Carolina News Observer, lawmakers there are pondering the “Healthy Marriage Act” which would require a 2 year separation AND mandatory counseling before couples would be eligible for a divorce.  In Maryland couples going through a contested divorce are required to go through mandatory mediation.  If you take nothing else from this article PLEASE understand that mediation is COMPLETELY different from marriage counseling.  They are the same in the respect that they both involve a married couple sitting down with a third party to resolve their differences.  They a different from one another because the end product is opposite in each case.  The goal you are working toward in marriage counseling is to resolve problems so you can stay married. The goal in mediation is to resolve problems so you can get a divorce. The next most common technical difficulty in an uncontested Maryland Divorce after the residence and separation requirements is the “corroboration” requirement. In Maryland when you go to court for your uncontested divorce or go before an Family Law Examiner for your taking testimony you have to bring a corroborative witness.  It sounds like a much bigger deal than it really is. A corroborative witness is someone over 18 who can identify you and your spouse, who has some frame of reference that you have not lived together (such as having been to your new residence), and does not believe there is a reasonable expectation you will reconcile. Once you understand the role of the corroborative witness it makes it clear that its pretty easy to meet this requirement.  The “corroborative witness” is somebody who is verifying who you are and that you don’t reside with your estranged spouse.  Ironically, new boyfriends and girlfriends are a common source of this “corroboration” because remember we are talking about UNCONTESTED divorce.  Nobody  wants you divorced more than your boyfriend or girlfriend!!

I'm Timothy Conlon and I'm one of the lead attorneys for The Divorce Place in Frederick Maryland Connect with me on Google+ or on @Twitter

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ADULTERY, Social Media and Facebook

ADULTERY: Divorce and custody lawyers discuss adultery in Frederick, Maryland Social Media and Facebook:

Facebook has has become the principal tool of discovery in divorce and custody cases. The rise of social media including Facebook and Twitter have had a significant impact upon the way Frederick, Maryland custody and divorce lawyers present cases and the way cases present themselves to us. Prior to the rise of social media, divorce and custody lawyers collected information about the other side by use of conventional discovery (Q and A) witnesses and private investigators.  If you ask an honest lawyer (no jokes please), he will probably tell you that all of those tools were almost universally problematic at best.   Except for private investigators, those tools depend, in varying degree, upon the honesty of the parties and respective witnesses.  That is obviously a problem.  Private investigators on the other hand, are expensive and sometimes they just can’t prove the facts we need.  

Any driver who has followed a car that wanted to be followed has had traffic lights and other cars make that difficult.  Just imagine the difficulty trying to keep on top of a car that does not want to be followed.  

In my experience, evidence of what goes on behind closed doors is limited to reality television. Not anymore!!  Social media postings, email, text and other electronic fingerprints now dominate divorce and custody trials.  Just take for example the following and bear in mind I am just one Frederick custody and divorce lawyer, so multiply my experience one hundred fold.   

In my seventeen years in divorce and custody court I can count on one hand where private investigators or similar theatrics made the difference between winning and losing.  In the past seventeen months I have had at least as many cases where social media had a similar impact. Today people routinely post things on their social media that previously would take hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars to uncover; if it could be uncovered at all.  

Things like drugs, alcohol, partying, racism, cheating on their spouse or significant other.  You just can’t believe what pearls fall into a custody and divorce lawyer’s lap because of somebody’s boozy 3am blog post or social media posting. The information is not limited by what is said in text, photographs can be even more damaging. Take for example a client who lived in Frederick suspected her husband of cheating.  

She had suspicion of the woman in question who lived in Ijamsville. The wife just followed her on facebook.  Well, there he was in the background of a Saturday’s night out bar room photo that the girl took of herself from her camera phone.   Colorful screen names are problematic as well.  I know you thought it was the funniest thing ever when you coined “Dooby Houser,” “Rum Runner” of “Looking for Lust”  but in the light of day it has brought many a red face.

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Same Sex Divorce

Maryland same sex couples were entitled to be divorced before they were even entitled to be married.

This past year (2012) the Maryland Legislature passed a law permitting same sex couples in Maryland to marry. What’s more, the Maryland Voters ratified the Legislature’s decision in a general election which concluded just days ago. Effective January 1, 2013 the Civil Marriage Protection Act takes effect and same sex couples will qualify for civil marriages throughout the State of Maryland. But this was neither the beginning nor the end of the efforts of Marylanders with same sex partners to gain equality with the heterosexual world of matrimony, adoption, child support, custody and even divorce. Many who have followed the decisions of our Maryland Courts leading up to this year’s landmark election would say that the “revolution” of legalizing same sex marriage is in fact an “evolution.” It is therefore, yet another example of politicians patting themselves on the back for groundwork that was laid by others. This years election is likely to be remembered as a major revolutionary battle legalizing same sex marriage. But, evolutionary skirmishes throughout Maryland Family Courts relating to same sex marriages, same sex adoption, same sex custody, same sex child support and same sex divorce have been held in the recent and not so recent years leading up to this historic election. While the high profile Maryland Courts in Baltimore and Annapolis have been a focus, some of the real groundbreaking action has taken place right here in Central Maryland in the Hagerstown Circuit Court. What’s even more amazing: it was in a criminal case!! Before we were inundated by radio commercials about “Question 6” or competing sound bites from politicians on both sides of the aisle, some historic events in the Maryland Family Law Courts passed with little attention on the front page. You see, in 2012 the Maryland Court of Appeals (Maryland’s Supreme Court) rendered a unanimous decision that Maryland would ‘recognize’ same sex marriages from other states. That case was named Port v. Cowan and, oddly enough, that Maryland Court ‘recognized’ their same sex marriage for purposes of granting the not so happy same sex couple a same sex divorce. That’s right, you could get a same sex divorce in Maryland before you could even get a same sex marriage!! But that is the end of the story, not the beginning. The concept of “comity” has been at the heart of those court decisions folks and, believe me, the Legislature didn’t do anything too revolutionary when they passed this legislation. It has been written in the tea leaves for some time. “Comity” is legal reciprocity. Maryland generally recognizes a marriage as a valid marriage if the marriage was a legal in the state where it was performed; even if the marriage would not have been legal here. A recurring example of the Maryland Family Court doctrine of comity in action has been “Common Law Marriage.” Maryland does not have common law marriage. Oh,sure, you “know a guy” who told you that after 6 months.....12 months....5 years....etc. of cohabitation you are deemed common law married. Nope. Maryland doesn’t have it. But, our neighbors across the Potomac have had it for a long time. Common law marriages imported from the District of Columbia have been the subject of Maryland Divorces for years. Cultural and political winds blowing as they do, it was just a matter of time until somebody asked: “well if Common Law Marriage is not legal in the State of Maryland but they are legally ‘recognized’ in the State of Maryland, then isn’t a valid same sex marriage from another state ‘recognized’ as a valid marriage here in Maryland? The answer was not clear. From 2004 through 2011 the question of whether Maryland would recognize same sex marriages from other states sputtered around Maryland’s legal and legislative engine. A Maryland statute had been a problem Maryland Family Law Code 2-201 section provided: Only a marriage between a man and a woman is valid in this state. In 2004 the ACLU filed a lawsuit on behalf of same sex couples who had been denied marriage licenses based on Code 2-201 arguing that the statute was contrary to the Maryland Constitution and thus Unconstitutional. In 2006, Judge M. Brooke Murdock agreed that Code 2-201 was unconstitutional and a political firestorm ensued with calls for impeachment of Judge Murdock, a constitutional amendment and other such political drama. The Maryland Court of Appeals (Maryland’s Supreme Court) jumped into the fray and overruled Judge Murdock in 2007 indicating that Code 2-201 was constitutional. Code 2-201 was legislatively taken off the books but the question remained. Did the doctrine of comity mean that Maryland would recognize same sex marriages? Enter, the Snowden Wives. In 2011 a criminal case presented itself to Judge Donald Beachley, State of Maryland v. Deborah Snowden. You see, the accused Deborah Snowden was charged with domestic violence (an assault) upon Sha’rron Snowden. The same sex couple were legally married in Washington State. Like so many domestic violence cases, the acts and actions giving rise to the charges took place behind closed doors. Like so many other cases like this, the only witnesses were the alleged victim and the alleged perpetrator. That’s it. Now, as you may know, a well settled tenant of criminal law is that a spouse cannot be compelled to testify against the other spouse. It is known as “the marital privilege.” If an assault under those circumstances occurred between two unmarried persons, and the authorities were called, the victim could be legally compelled to testify about what happened behind those closed doors. Even if she did not want to so testify. The victim Sha’rron Snowden, did not want to testify. The trial began in April of 2011 and when Mrs. Sha’rron Snowden was called to the stand she invoked her “marital privilege.” She would not testify against her Wife, Mrs. Deborah Snowden. This had never, ever happened before. The Judge stopped the case and required both the Prosecutor, Joseph Michael, and the Defense Attorney, Carl Somerlock, to present arguments as to whether Maryland must recognize the same sex marriage. The case was re-convened in June of 2011. On behalf of his Client, Mr. Somerlock argued that marriage was a basic human right citing the United States Supreme Court decision in Loving v. Virginia (a 1967 case where a Virginia Law banning interracial marriage had been deemed unconstitutional.) Judge Beachley granted Mrs. Sha’rron Snowden the protection of spousal immunity, She declined to testify and the Charges against Mrs. Deborah Snowden were dismissed. It is reported the couple left the courthouse “hand-in-hand” declining to answer questions from the press. One year later on May 18, 2012 (almost to the day) the Supreme Maryland Court decided Port v. Cowan recognizing same sex marriage and deeming same sex divorce to be legal in Maryland.

Timothy Conlon, Esquire for The Divorce Place

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Adultery From A Woman's Perspective

The smartest guy in the room. I have been asked to write about adultery stories and I have been asked to create some adultery articles “from the female point of view.” Thus my goal here is to discuss adultery and divorce from a woman’s point of view. Now, for 17 years I have represented both men and women, day in and day out, through the intimate process of divorce. Nevertheless, I just can’t claim any ability to describe divorce, adultery or anything else from the female point of view. I fear the closest I can come to my goal is to discuss an interesting adultery tale from the male point of view. I will point out man’s profound folly which it contains, perhaps that will suffice. So here goes my adultery hall of fame winner: the “love triangle,” the ““three-way” or as I prefer the “menage a trois” story Sure, there are funnier, more typical, more lurid, and definitely “juicier” adultery stories but my favorite of all time has to be: the “menage a trois.” What fascinates me about the menage a trois divorce is neither prurient interest nor the bio-mechanics. What fascinates me is the power of persuasion. That’s right; the sale, the pitch, the sheer force of will necessary to convince another spouse that this a good idea. I am likewise fascinated because it always ends like a Greek tragedy (forgive the pun.) This is a tragic tale wherein our hero attains mythic status.... and then... subsequently..... falls from grace. The prevailing notion is that men are universally titillated by the unholy tryste. Many also believe that women are likewise curios about this carnal fantasy. Whether you prescribe to the notion that some or most adults are “into” this, you must concede that at least some adults are into it. Every man is absolutely fascinated by it...married men: yup, single men:yup, old men: yup, gay men: yup, impotent: men: yup, Mitt Romney: yup, Al Gore: yup, Charlie Sheen: (come on the condo contains his and her’s and her’s bathrooms) ..yup....yup.....yup.... What fascinates me about the menage a trois divorce is neither prurient interest nor the bio-mechanics. What fascinates me is the power of persuasion. That’s right; the sale, the pitch, the sheer force of will necessary to convince another spouse that this a good idea. I am likewise fascinated because it always ends like a Greek tragedy (forgive the pun.) This is a tragic tale wherein our hero attains mythic status.... and then... subsequently..... falls from grace. Woman cannot probably believe this is their man. Not the same man who idly occupies the couch every waking hour? Not the same man who lacks the attention span to watch a TV program for more than a split second before changing the channel? Could that man actually spend a lifetime persistently and tirelessly (albeit subtly) in search of this sexual holy grail? Go ahead, just mention that “you heard a girl at work did it,” Then watch him blink his eyes hard, drop the remote, quietly clear his throat and slowly but deliberately size you up. Is she disgusted by the girl at work? Is this a trick question like the “how do I look in this?” Or, are you reciting the first line of his “Letter to Penthouse?” Women simply cannot appreciate the lifetimes’ worth of efforts to which a man goes attempting to persuade a presumably reluctant spouse to participate in a menage a trois. The occasional mention or reference to it. Oh sure, it’s always punctuated by an awkward laugh but also... with a glancing look into your eye. A trial balloon, a soft ball tossed out every few years in hopes you will swing (no pun) . Then one day and a few margaritas later …. BLAM.....he is on top of the world! Oh I don’t mean the sexual act or acts itself. That is completely and absolutely beside the point. It could have been fast or slow, good or bad, short or long, and you don’t probably remember the details. He will just make up his own anyway. I mean in one boozy moment, he has become the absolute smartest guy in the room. He just became Albert Einstein, a war hero and a rock star all rolled into one. Other men stand in awe, hoping to touch the hem of his garment. He regales break rooms, bar rooms, bathrooms, and rec-rooms with the embellished details of his quest. The other men listen to his story with rapt attention hanging on every detail like natives gathered to watch a missionary make fire. Yet, there has been a disturbance to the force. Later, when he comes to me, the salad days are behind him. He asks me about divorce and I discuss the process with him. When I ask about the source of the estrangement he looks down like a dejected little boy kicking at rocks with his shoes. I move on. We talk about the car, the house, the kids etc. Our meeting is “all business” as we discuss the procedure for an uncontested divorce. The necessary paperwork is completed and then it comes out....He was once the smartest guy in the room. Life can be so humorous and yet so cruel. I wish I could have been there when he put it over the top. No, Not the instant that it happened, that’s purely choreography. I mean the instant she said: yes. When a choir of angels broke into a resounding noise, God gave him a “high five” and the crowd roared. I just nod knowingly not able to explode with awe and laughter at his folly. How great would it be to take him from my office and transport him back to that moment like some legal ghost of Christmas past knowing how it would end. Is it funny because the powers of the universe have been returned to balance? It is cruel.

Timothy Conlon, Esquire for The Divorce Place

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What Is An Uncontested Divorce in Frederick Maryland?

What Exactly Is An Uncontested Divorce? I once had a joke about a lawyer who advertised in the classifieds that he offered a “simple divorce” for only $350. What was funny is that there is no specific definition for a “simple divorce.” I would laugh as I imagined people coming to his office to redeem this enticing offer and there he would tell them: “Oh, your divorce is not so simple” in a bait and switch kind of way. But, I don’t think that was really the idea because he was an older gentleman and I am sure well meaning. There is no hard fast definition of a “simple divorce.” The above joke points out that “uncontested divorce” and “simple divorce” are like a sense of humor: Everyone thinks they have one but often, they just don’t. Nevertheless,I have been asked to define the concept. I am not being vague because I want to drum up business. I am being as specific as I can because if you don’t need a lawyer, you just don’t need a lawyer. People can call me for more details and I will offer those free of charge, time permitting. A Maryland divorce where both spouses agree to a divorce and there are no children can be done with forms available online at Courts.state.md.us/family/forms/domrellist.html (if you are having trouble you can Google “Maryland Legal Forms Divorce”} That is reasonably simple. First, one spouse fills in the blanks on a “Complaint for Divorce” form CCDR20 or CCDR21. Then he or she files it in the county where they live and pays the court a filing fee. It’s usually $145 but people who income qualify, can file it with a request to waive the fee form CCDR32. Next, the other spouse fills out an Answer form CCDR50 agreeing to the divorce. They then file a request with the clerk for a date to “take testimony.” Taking testimony is a fancy name for an appointment where they go together before a Judge (or Master) where they identify themselves swear that everything in the paperwork is true and bring a person to corroborate that they are entitled to a divorce. The couple present the Court a "blue form,"some other forms are filled out and that is it!! More Specific instructions regarding the “Information Report” and some other administrative documents are available on the above website.

Timothy Conlon, Esquire for The Custody Place

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