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Pumpkin patching it today. #joiinme💚 #itsthegreatpumpkincharliebrown #pumpkinpatch #fallyall🍁🍂 (at Silveyville Pumpkin & Christmas Tree Farm) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3mvN5lHMRa/?igshid=130p4op6jv5ea

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When your hummingbird friend accidentally gets into your house. #joiinme💚 #hessofragile #hummingbird #thedogswentcrazy #heflewaway (at Vacaville, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3kms3Enii9/?igshid=ivivklc6x4hk

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Olives. #joiinme💚 #beautyincreation #olivertree (at Vacaville, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3fRnVsnGsl/?igshid=9382o0291w7

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The things that stay the same even when the power is out. #joiinme💚 #peetscoffee #nuttreeplaza #myguy #thecarousel #powersout #pgeoutagebayarea (at Nut Tree Family Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3ZsrfZnQAg/?igshid=1hhitbb1lbaxq

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Thanks, @heckofamama #joiinme💚 #dinosaur #missyewev (at Vacaville, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3YaXHAHwz-/?igshid=hfgfd6k244hm

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I was listening to a podcast this am about a parent who’s child was killed by a fluke accident. It was my second time listening to this specific episode. The parent mentioned that somehow the world around us has expectations on people who are grieving or maybe just people in general that you should be moving towards a different path then you may be. They seem to have their own ideas of what grief looks like as they observe you. They’ve held space in their lives to accommodate their timelines for you. Well I’m sure many/most have gone ahead and quite frankly I’m going to need forever and in saying this I have not lost perspective. My salvation is still interacted. The shoulders of the One who created the world are big enough for this mourning that I hold. So what may look to many to be selfish is just self-care. My life now holds space for those who understand this pain. Who are walking this path in parallel with me. It painful. It’s painful to not be understood but it also gives freedom to not be held captive by others. So as this week begins I share this after a weekend spent celebrating and allowing happiness and mourning to occupy the same address as it does most days. #joiinme💚 #grief #mourning #jesustakethewheel #savespace #terriblethanksforasking #terriblethanksforaskingpodcast #whatsyourgrief #sunrise #selfcare #itsokaynottobeokay #imstillbackhere #mytrain (at Vacaville, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3Ulkn0HoTz/?igshid=1ooqwi7s8suiq

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Representing for Alpha at the Arise Conference. #changed #arise #joiinme💚 #alphaclinics (at Harvest Church) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3OAsFanVsw/?igshid=1kjdw0zohu21b

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Thanks for all the texts, Facebook posts and Instagram. They have made the last few days a little brighter. #joiinme💚 #lovemyflowers #thanksforthelove #grief #sunflowers (at Vacaville, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3JH5D_nlde/?igshid=vljmi4m1q413

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Our excitement for your pregnancy and to welcome your sweet babe is very hard to contain. You’re so beautiful and I can’t wait to see you be a momma. Thanks @supjessa for helping me create a space where love and creativity made a way for art to be expressed. I’m so lucky. 💚 #joiinme💚 #milkbathphotography #maternityphotography #artistic #love #creativephotography #creativity #beauty #mommas #babyboylove #imsolucky #andblessed #friendsforever (at Vacaville, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3Gld8EHZ3G/?igshid=ng9r5dg92tbi

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#sunriseritual #captureyourgrief #joiinme💚 #fromourwindow #100119 #grief (at Vacaville, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3F8T5tHOHo/?igshid=16t4v33n9wmi0

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Hanging with this precious soul this am for Pastor Appreciation. Thank you for always serving behind the scenes. Love you! #jesussees #joiinme💚 #jesuslivesinusall #dawnkincadephotography #pastorappreciation #thankyou (at Vacaville Christian Schools) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3FXTp6nh8L/?igshid=y6ejsym61j8l

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I was listening to a podcast today, and the talk was about a nurse who suffered a debilitating illness while pregnant with her second child. I was struck by something she said towards the end of the podcast, which seems to be hitting me quite poignantly today after a weekend filled with unusually different circumstance. She still is currently battling this disease which has made her unable to do most anything for herself, and she has 2 children under the age of 2. When she was doing patient care as a nurse, she had kept herself very detached to her patient’s needs while actively being a nurse. She always wanted to keep things “professional.” This illness has taught her what it means to bear another’s burden and i that she can feel so incredibly isolated. To be present so to speak in others pain. That sometimes we need someone who understands what we are truly going through and to sit with us in that. So much about what she said is ringing true for me today. * * * * I then ran into another friend; this morning and really tried to give words to what I felt as my go-to word is sad. I guess what I would say that I’m feeling is my soul aches. My heart is broken. It is melancholy, bowed down, dejected and grief-stricken. As I spend this last day of September in my 50’s I’m wondering what the next 10 years will have in store for me and yet it seems that in hindsight that my 50’s will go down as my most challenging. I thought that older makes us wiser. I’m trying hard to see the best of these days that I’m living. To celebrate the passing of time. So today I’m sitting in my melancholy. I’m trying to be present with it. I’m trying to give myself space to feel it…all of it. I wish it didn’t feel so lonely, even though my world is full. #joiinme💚 #grief #terriblethanksforasking #terriblethanksforaskingpodcast #thelastofthisdecade #sitwithit #lonely #praisebeforemybreakthrough #jesustakethewheel #whatsyourgrief #sayinggoodbye (at Somewhere on the Earth) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3Cxg6oHLoK/?igshid=ukqhvemaabrw

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So proud of you Natalie for all your hard work at the Leaven. 💚 #mayorsgala2019 #behindthescences #itswhereithappens #doitforthekids #theleaven #joiinme💚 #friendsforkeeps (at The Meritage Resort and Spa) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3BMpBMHwEa/?igshid=2r3kztzfhx6r

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Wedding love happening tonight. #joiinme💚 #weddinglove #weddingfun (at Vacaville, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B2-o6PUn0BB/?igshid=4ybgu0zlfeew

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Just thinking about these people and how much love was a part of this wedding. Happy one week anniversary! #joiinme💚 #friendsforever (at Blue Victorian Winery) https://www.instagram.com/p/B28AsqUnO1a/?igshid=8r7vm7ggnv2c

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Pumpkin season is upon us. I love all my pumpkins 🎃 #joiinme💚 #autumn #pumpkins #velvetpumpkins #harvestdecor #helpme (at Vacaville, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B27WQI5nDs9/?igshid=nglyc3hpa4mf

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Merriment on Main fundraiser. #merrimentonmain #vacavilleoperahouse #events #joiinme💚 #ornaments #onthetree (at Vacaville Opera House) https://www.instagram.com/p/B25VeilHkG2/?igshid=1evqre533rfej