doctorwho-but-its-wrong - Tumblr blog

[doctorwho-but-its-wrong]

Koschei: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them?

Ushas: Well what the hell do you do?

Koschei: I die? What the fuck kinda question-

[doctorwho-but-its-wrong]

Koschei: I have no fears.

Theta: What if you woke up one day and I was taller than you?

Koschei: I have one fear

[doctorwho-but-its-wrong]

Eight: Surgery is just stabbing someone to life.

Grace: Please never become a surgeon.

[doctorwho-but-its-wrong]

Martha, searching through the first aid kit: Why would you fill it with cheetos?!

The Doctor, bleeding out: I thought it would be funny at the time.

[doctorwho-but-its-wrong]

Mickey: Why are The Doctor and Rose sitting with their backs facing each other?

Jack: They had a fight.

Mickey: Then why are they holding hands?

Jack: The Doctor gets sad when they fight.

[doctorwho-but-its-wrong]

Koschei: *traps a wasp under a cup*

Theta: *puts two more cups down*

Koschei: Please, no-

Theta: *starts shuffling the cups*

[doctorwho-but-its-wrong]

Jack: Girls are hot.

Jack: Guys are hot too.

Jack: Why is everyone so hot?

Nine: Global warming.

[doctorwho-but-its-wrong]

Nardole: So, I asked him what his pronouns were and he said “uh, PhD.”

Twelve, from the other room: You will refer to me as Doctor and Doctor alone!

[doctorwho-but-its-wrong]

Jo: How tall are you?

The Master: Height is a social construct.

Three: So you’re short.

[doctorwho-but-its-wrong]

my favorite companion 

[doctorwho-but-its-wrong]

The Master, to the Doctor:My esteemed rival.

The Master:My beloved nemesis

The Master:Dearly detested

[doctorwho-but-its-wrong]

The Rani: I have absolutely zero interest in friendship, I have absolutely zero interest in jokes, I am simply here to collect data and earn respect.

[doctorwho-but-its-wrong]

The Master: Please bring your rats to the new castle flea market so I may bless/heal them. I'll be sitting in a lawn chair wearing a stolen priest outfit

[doctorwho-but-its-wrong]

Rose: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Mickey: Rude.

Nine: Not again.

Jack: Are you going to want this back?

[doctorwho-but-its-wrong]

The Doctor: *Kisses the Master*

The Master: What is this?

The Doctor: Affection.

The Master: Disgusting.

The Master: Do it again.

[doctorwho-but-its-wrong]

Ten:I'm lost without you.

The Master:What do I look like, a map?

[doctorwho-but-its-wrong]

Nine: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.

Rose: What if I bite it and it dies?

Nine: That means you're venomous.

Jack: What if it bites itself and I die?

Nine: That's voodoo.

Rose: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Nine: That's correlation, not causation.

Mickey:What if we bite each other and neither of us dies?

Jack: That's kinky.