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Wally: I sleep more, I'm tired.
Wally: I sleep less, I'm tired.
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Solar: I told Sun ‘good morning’ and he said ‘time means nothing to me’. He’s the only person I’ve ever respected.
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redheadbigshoes · 3 days
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the-black-bulls · 2 days
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Zora: Hey, you look like you’re thinking really hard. What’s on your mind?
Charmy: If you put a pizza on top of another pizza you’ll have two pizzas but if you put a lasagna on top of another lasagna it’s still only one lasagna.
Zora:
Zora: Well, shit.
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kibo-ichiro · 2 days
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Judge: How do you plead?
Reynold: *looks at his lawyer aka Derrick*
Derrick: *mouths “not guilty”*
Reynold: Hot milky.
Derrick: *bangs head against the desk* For fuck’s sake, just lock him up.
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textpostmemespksp · 17 hours
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Meme #385
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(Image description in ALT text, original images below the cut!) 
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soullessbullshit · 2 days
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Darien: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?
Cadwell: They’re for Honor.
Darien: Why are you making pancakes for Honor?
Cadwell: He doesn’t know how!
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ontgerunway · 2 months
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Mappa's three men and one man child
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cursivewind · 2 months
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incorrectbatfam · 9 months
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Duke: Bruce, can you sign something for school?
Bruce, shaking his head: If I sign this, you're going to have to learn how to forge my signature. If you sign it from the start, you'll be able to sign whatever you want and they'll never know.
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petitprincess1 · 2 months
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Alastor, poking the snake on Lucifer's hat: Is this thing poisonous?
Lucifer: Nah, fam.
Alastor: *the snake comes to life, bites Al, and he drops to the ground, foaming at the mouth*
Lucifer: It is venomous though!
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Blood Moon, in the back of a police car: The light’s green, you can go.
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reereeineedtopee · 3 months
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Y/N: At least two gay girls called me cute...
Natasha, with a flirty voice: Make that three...
Wanda, also flirting: Make that four...
Y/N, confused: Who are the other two??
Natasha, facepalming: Oh my god...
Wanda: Nevermind, back to two...
Y/N, in utter confusion: What is happening??
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incorrectgoodomenss · 6 months
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Aziraphale, seeing Crowley walk in: So, do I have a husband or a wife today?
Crowley: Since you ate the last slice of pizza you have an enemy.
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enjymemink · 3 months
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