dont-wanna-waste-years-blog - Tumblr blog

[dont-wanna-waste-years-blog]

I'm getting off tumblr for a while

Because I feel like scrolling through so many journeys only make me feel more about how i'm not losing weight fast enough, how soe are doing so much better and some so much worse.

So, my plan is only to stop binging.

That's simple.

I'll try to eat between 800 and 1200 calories too.

[dont-wanna-waste-years-blog]

[dont-wanna-waste-years-blog]

[dont-wanna-waste-years-blog]

First bodycheck eveeer

When will I become like the hundreds of perfect girls pictures I saved ? When will my legs only join at the feet ?

-

IMC 20

[dont-wanna-waste-years-blog]

Fact

When you’re fat nobody notices that you haven’t eaten, because since you’re fat they assume you did.

[dont-wanna-waste-years-blog]

Me : doesn't get hired for a job because they have no money

My brain : iT's beCAusE yOU'Re fAt

[dont-wanna-waste-years-blog]

Hey. Do you need a hug?

Maybe you’re having a stressful day. Maybe you just need a deep breath. Maybe you just didn’t realize how stressed you are. It’s okay! You deserve love and warmth in your life.

Are you comforted by words? 

Here’s an Emergency Compliment

Here are some kind words you can personalize with your name 

Here are 15 more emergency compliments 

Here is a Self Esteem Boosting Confidence Machine 

take a moment - video 

believe in yourself - video 

Inspiration from Jacksepticeye - PMA 

encouragement from Mr. Rogers - video 

you are ENOUGH - video 

Do you need to hear some pleasant ambient sounds?

How about rain sounds you can customize? 

You can listen to a cafe here  

or how about a crackling fireplace?  

ASMR? Stimming? 

Soap cutting ASMR - video 

more soap ASMR - video 

a 4 hour ASMR video to help with sleep 

ASMR face and scalp massage - video

ASMR slime - video 

the most satisfying video in the world 

more satisfying videos 

Lora Zombie speed painting - video 

Agnes Cecile speed painting - video  

the fastest workers in the world - video 

how candy canes are made - video 

Mr. Rogers shows how crayons are made - video 

How about a game or activity distraction?

Play 2048 here 

A whole website of free games!  

play chess against a computer 

Here are some coloring pages you can do online!  

Play Flow online here 

here’s a game where you stretch a giraffe’s little neck to give kisses 

Learn about the history of life on earth with PBS Eons 

Do you need something soothing?

Control the pattern of rain here! (flashing colors warning)

try doing nothing for two minutes 

Vent to a stranger online for FREE!  

weavesilk, where you can create a soothing pattern 

have you ever been to the nicest place on the internet? 

watch Bob Ross bring joy to painting - playlist 

How about a laugh?

Vines you can show your grandparents 

History of the entire world, I guess  

History of Japan 

Rhett and Link caption fails 

Thomas Sanders Vines 

The Demented Cartoon Movie (warning for flashing colors) 

The ASDF movie 1-11 

The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon by Richard Gale  (warnings for some bruises and some violence)

Rhett and Link VS Hank Green - SHUT UP AND DANCE 

It’s going to be okay. Today may be the worst day of your life - but tomorrow won’t be. Life is a series of ups and downs, and that means there’s going to be good and bad. Drink some water, let yourself cry if you need to, and get a good night’s sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning. 

[dont-wanna-waste-years-blog]

[dont-wanna-waste-years-blog]

Being at a “normal” / healthy weight, with a healthy BMI is so weird. You’re not fat, but you’re not skinny either.

You have an eating disorder, but you invalidate yourself because you feel like you’re faking it since you’re not skinny enough to have a severe problem.

Feeling like a disgrace to the ana community which consists of beautiful skinny people - people you don’t belong among.

Feeling guilty for reblogging all these thinspo posts because your illness is not “real enough”.

Wondering why tf you’re ALWAYS cold when your body has plenty of fat to keep you warm.

Wondering why you feel dizzy when you skip another meal when your body l i t e r a l  l y has enough stored energy to keep you “fed” for days.

Being in love with skinny jeans and oversized hoodies but they make you look fat and skinny at the same time somehow? How is that even possible???

Having your collar bones visible, but they’re not poking out of your skin enough, not the way they do on all these thinspo pics.

Feeling disgusted and ashamed to leave your house every time you get bloated, because, from a normal semi-flat stomach, you go to an 8-month-pregnant woman with twins. 

Feel free to add more

[dont-wanna-waste-years-blog]

Keira Knightley as Georgiana Cavendish in The Duchess (2008)

[dont-wanna-waste-years-blog]

10 - IV - 2019

54.9 this morning. I'm 15h30 into a 60 hours fast, and honestly it was easy. I only have to do it 3 more times.

I'm trying to move as much as possible. I'm feeling so fat and ugly today... That's not what i want to look like for my 20 yo.

[dont-wanna-waste-years-blog]

“You eat too much to have an eating disorder”

[dont-wanna-waste-years-blog]

Me: I��m scared I might secretly be an awful person and I’m just fooling everyone into thinking I’m good.

Therapist: the fact that you care so deeply about being a bad person is proof that you’re actually good. Bad people don’t mind being bad.

Me: oH NO, I have fooled her too,

[dont-wanna-waste-years-blog]

I don’t just want skinny. I want to wither away. I want people to notice how little I’m eating and how it’s killing me. I want them to scream at me ‘Stop! It’s enough now! You’re skinny enough!’

But they don’t. And I won’t stop until they do.

[dont-wanna-waste-years-blog]

9 - IX - 2019

Okay so it's 3am and ofc i can't sleep.

I'm 55.8 kg, and i want to be under 52 before the 23rd september, which is in 14 days.

14 days to lose 4-5 kg. I have my birthday coming up so i will gain a kilo that day. That means I will have to eat a maximum of 600 calories. That won't be easy so let's say 800 is the real maximum.

I'm starting with a fruit/soup diet for 4 days. Then the birthday and then the 600 kcal diet.

[dont-wanna-waste-years-blog]

I want to be skinny. Thin. Dainty. I want the entire school to stare at me and my bones. I want my photography teacher to wonder why he stopped fucking me. I want them to look at me walking like a ghost, all black clothes and my face so skinny i don't even need contour.

 I know what it takes. Of course i will eat, but only light meals, once a day. I will only wear black clothes. I won't smoke anymore because i don't even need that. I will be skinny. That's who I am.

[dont-wanna-waste-years-blog]

OLIVIA for PARIS VOGUE by PURIENNE