dontwanttolive

[dontwanttolive]

Hoping I can lose 3kg this week too. Managed to do it last week. I want to do better this week, but not sure if I can.

[dontwanttolive]

I did an oopsie.

[dontwanttolive]

"Your disorder doesn't define you! Your personality does!" - I don't know how to break it to you Norman, but this thing is called personality disorder.

[dontwanttolive]

[dontwanttolive]

I want to get better, but also so much worse. Just fuck up my whole life and don't give a shit.

[dontwanttolive]

I hate having an FP, but I also hate not having one. I'm lost without one.

[dontwanttolive]

When I do something for myself, I'm so selfish and should never do something for myself. But it's somehow okay for other people to be selfish.

[dontwanttolive]

I'm so exhausted all the time. It doesn't matter how much I sleep, I'm always tired. I'm depressed and don't even know why. I don't know what to do. But I'm starting DBT in a few weeks.

[dontwanttolive]

Time to get better (worse) ;-;

[dontwanttolive]

I'm starting to feel proud of my scars, especially the one after my latest suicide attempt ;-;

[dontwanttolive]

How do you deal with not having an FP? ;-; I feel like my life has lost its meaning and I don't want to live anymore.

[dontwanttolive]

Carnival of Souls (1962)

[dontwanttolive]

I feel anxiety about eating for the first time in a long while. It actually feels good.

[dontwanttolive]

I'm starting to believe I'm not meant to be happy for too long.

[dontwanttolive]

I'm finally losing weight!!!

[dontwanttolive]

Sometimes I want my life to be really fucking bad. Like getting abused and shit like that, because then I would have a reason to feel this bad. But now its just my brain making me miserable for no apparent reason.

[dontwanttolive]

Oh you hate me? Well I hate myself more, so checkmate.