drag-me-kicking-and-screaming - Tumblr blog

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haha I haven't used this blog in a while

tw: mentions of cannibalism, mentions of dissociation, gore, unreality, intrusive thoughts (kinda a vent but mostly a rant)

SO glad I was able to discover the aesthetics that describe who I am. maybe I sound like a pinterest girlie or whatever when I say that but it's so hard to describe what it feels like to dissociate, or what it feels like to feel huge, soul crushing intrusive thoughts of human flesh tearing under your teeth, and to want to cut off contact with everyone and end your life because you're not sure if they'll be safe with you around them, or to fantasize about your own blood and flesh staining the wooden carpet, and watch as my parents struggle to decide whether to keep my memory or to throw it out, even if it comes down to an unpleasant smell, or to be nothing and everything all at once and it's so fucking overwhelming that you can only put it into an image to describe it and. I finally found a genre of images that makes it feel heard

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????

Can someone who has stable internet rebut this I’m too tired for idiots like this 💀💀 Also I’ve literally done research projects on Marsha P Johnson and can provide many sources backing up what I said so could you please provide yours? And make sure they’re credible because I really don’t think yours are 💀

All the ppl in my feeds wishing TERFs a very unpleasant pride month when a hefty chunk of TERFs are lesbian or bisexual...

...While cheering on 'queer' content that's just heterosexual ppl acting a bit gnc...

...And talking about the need to "de-center" gays during pride month...

Yall are either ignorant or homophobic or both, and what you definitely are NOT is progressive and pro-gay rights

I wish yall an enlightening pride month

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"All the ppl in my feeds wishing TERFs a very unpleasant pride month when a hefty chunk of TERFs are lesbian or bisexual..."

I reblogged a post similar to this on my main, actually! Link: https://www.tumblr.com/edible-emerald/752298102179938304/bitterbearsf-eyeshadow2600fm-lgbtqkidsrock

It'll explain my point in more detail but here's the short part: In the US, the movement was started by two trans women by the name of Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera. Without their efforts, the movement would not be where it is today. Here's a quote from that post:

"and then TERFs wanna be like, “hmm well the LGBT community existed before Stonewall!”

but like…Becky, of course LGBTQ+ people existed before Stonewall. We’ve all existed since the beginning of time. But the movement got a shock to its senses, a jump-start, a rocket-into-space when that glass shattered via Marsha P. Johnson, and when Sylvia Rivera was up on-stage protesting guess who was on the sidelines heckling her?"

So, this post makes 0 sense. Come on, rebut this. Because dear TERFs of tumblr your points hold no ground. TERFs who are LGBTQ+ are actively hurting and erasing LGBTQ+ history and their movement. TERFs who are not LGBTQ+ are just homohpobic, transphobic, LGBTQphobic, whatever you want to call it. They're that. They're bigots, they're awful people, and frankly they just need to get the fuck over themselves.

A lot of TERFs don't seem to realize that being LGBTQ doesn't make every opinion you have on LGBTQ people correct, and using the argument "I'm lgbtq so ur actually just homophobic" is something that I've seen you guys throw shame on trans people for WHEN THEY DON'T EVEN DO IT. Face your hypocrisy and rebut this. I fucking dare you.

I too wish you an enlightening pride month.

All the ppl in my feeds wishing TERFs a very unpleasant pride month when a hefty chunk of TERFs are lesbian or bisexual...

...While cheering on 'queer' content that's just heterosexual ppl acting a bit gnc...

...And talking about the need to "de-center" gays during pride month...

Yall are either ignorant or homophobic or both, and what you definitely are NOT is progressive and pro-gay rights

I wish yall an enlightening pride month

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like to shut a terf up. reblog to completely explode them.

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if they can access it, go to therapy to help themselves with healing

if they can't...

2. DON'T POST IT ONLINE???? This stuff is problematic because it's being posted online. If you want to draw those yourself and keep it to yourself, that's your own thing and idc. But when you post it online and don't phrase it in a bad way, you're encouraging it for yourself and others. There is evidence fiction and art can have this effect on viewers.

So it's not a problem, until it's being posted online.

+This doubles for proshipping too

edit: I forgot to add this but it is harm reduction, you are correct in that factor, I much prefer people drawing rape rather than actually doing it

I saw someone on twitter claim that lolicon/shotacon and other adjacent type tropes only exist because pedophiles know they can't rape children, so they just draw it instead.

And I am not even remotely joking when I ask, if that were 100% factual and not a blatant strawman; how is that a bad thing?

How is someone with a mental illness choosing to cope with their desires through artwork instead of going out and raping a real, living child a bad thing?

Look me in the eyes and explain it like I'm 5 how intentionally going out of your way to avoid hurting a person because you know it would be wrong is bad.

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Something that confuses the ever loving hell out of me is people who think autism doesn't exist in adults. Or when being asked to picture an autistic adult can't do it. It's really baffling to me, because I think unless you're a conservative autism speaks supporting prick who think autism comes from vaccines or some shit we can all agree that autism is something you're born with and is something that an individual has for their entire life. So why do people think it doesn't exist in adults???? Genuinely confuses tf out of me.

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It's kind of scary how much I relate to "Blow my brains out" by Tikkle Me

here's me relating to every lyric. Like individually

note: I tagged this with autism tags because a lot of these things are about autism so if you follow autistic tags and don't want to see me rant about wishes to kms I suggest scrolling. Also extreme cursing

Sometimes I wish I could lend you my eyes - See the world through my eyes, know my experiences and maybe you'd have a shred of empathy that you seem to stereotype me as not being capable of feeling Lend you my hips and lend you my thighs - I guess this is the "step into my shoes" metaphor so. yeah I'll talk more on it later in this post I'm tired rn Sometimes I wish I could take a new shape - I wish I could switch lives, I hate this one Switch out some parts and become a big A - sAme as above

Sometimes I wish I could lend you my ears - Sensitive hearing makes me snap at loud people which they laugh at me for Lend you my thoughts and lend you my tears - Have you tried living where every single fucking day you have a fucking breakdown because you want to fucking die? Would anyone fucking miss me? You wouldn't. I wish you could know how it fucking feels. Sometimes I wish I could take a new form - I hate my fucking body Switch out some parts and become like the norm - I'll never be able to fit in, I'll never be able to be like the norm, and it's fucking awful

Lucky is she, who lives unaware - You don't have the burden of knowing the trauma you've caused me. Who doesn't get bothered by those who don't care - You don't pick and choose every word someone's told you, subconsciously trying to find some underlying message of hatred. Lucky is she, who lives unaware - You don't know that every night I sit in my bed and wonder how people would react if I disappeared, and you don't have the burden of knowing it's your fault Who doesn't get bothered by all that's unfair - You don't think about the consequences because you know I've been beaten to a pulp and don't know how to stand up for myself Unlucky me, who knows way too much - I wish I could go back when I didn't know this about myself, before I knew my family and friends were fucked up Who fights to make changes and music and such - I can't though. This is the only line I don't relate to. Because everywhere I go I'm called an acoustic retarded faggot who should lay down in traffic, all because of who I didn't choose to be. Unlucky me, aware of the pain - I WANT TO ESCAPE. I HATE BEING AUTISTIC. THIS DISORDER RUINED MY FUCKING LIFE AND NOW THAT I'M AWARE OF IT IT'S BECOME EVEN WORSE. I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN All 'cause I happen to have some brain - I'm better than this. I know I am. Everyone around me tells me I'm better than this. Then why am I such a useless fuck who can't even get over my own stupid intrusive thoughts? I'm better than this. And yet I'm the only one smart enough to know that I'm not good enough for anything.

Sometimes I wish I could lend you my voice - See how much effort it takes to keep it from shaking? To keep me from crying? Lend you my heart and lend you my choice - I don't have either. I want to be able to empathize and have friends but even if I wasn't autistic I can't. I've been so severely ruined by the people around me including at home that I can't even trust myself anymore. So why the hell would I trust you? Please take my heart, it's been ruined already. Sometimes I hope for a savior to come - I don't believe in god, but if I did I'd pray every day for him to come down and kill me himself. Why create me to make me suffer? Please send a savior, to kill me or to save me, either is a positive. Who's got what it takes to convince everyone - Nobody would even believe me if I told them they were ableist pricks who bullied an autistic kid. Even if they did, it's not like they'd stop. It'd get worse, probably. Please, I wish they could understand, but they won't. They can't. They'll never understand how fucking traumatizing they've been to me and how irreversibly awful they've been to me.

Sometimes I wish I could lend you my shoes - You know that "step into my shoes" metaphor? Or whatever I never really got it, but maybe if you knew what it was like to be completely isolated and excluded since childhood for no real reason, and never know how to stand up for yourself or make friends because if those abilities weren't gone already they certainly are after my home life ruined it. Lend you my life and lend you my truth - I wish you could know. I wish you could relate. I wish you could understand. I wish you could fucking empathize but you never do. But you stereotype autistic kids as being unable to feel empathy? You fucking hypocrite! You're a fucking monster! But sometimes the truth is just my point of view - I guess it's just imposter syndrome. It happens to everyone, I get it, but there's always a voice that tells me I'm being overdramatic. I don't believe it, but it leaks into everything else; all my issues are selfish and ignorable. I just need to get over it. I'm better than this. Not what is real and not what is true - Nothing is fucking real. I'm not fucking real. I mean I am and you are and everything is but the panic that grips me when the water I splash on myself is lukewarm and unfeelable instead of cool and grounding tends to make me forget that. And I don't know why, it's fucking pathetic honestly

Lucky is she, who lives unaware - You don't know I'm autistic. You don't know the pain I've gone through, laying awake knowing I'll never be able to be normal, I'll never be able to go out with friends to watch a movie, because I'll never be fucking normal, and it makes me want to die. Who doesn't get bothered by those who don't care - You're so lucky, honestly. If you were autistic, you wouldn't be bothered by this, you'd be able to brush it off, you wouldn't be affected. Because you have a family who cares enough about you that they don't manipulate you at every turn they get. You have support. I don't. I'm ignorable and forgettable and useless. Lucky is she, who lives unaware - If you are somehow autistic, you don't know. You don't know the pain of knowing I'll never have friends, or a social life, or self fucking esteem, all because of this stupid fucking disorder. And that's not universal, obviously. So I'm just being an overdramatic crybaby, I know. Who doesn't get bothered by all that's unfair - You've been so cruel to me. You wouldn't be bothered; you obviously aren't. Unlucky me, who knows way too much - I can't keep repeating myself, you get the gist. Who fights to make changes and music and such - I wish, I wish I had a passion that I could keep committed to. Every test I've taken told me I should be a writer! Or an artist! But who the fuck would hire someone as useless as me? Or who would read my shitty projection and words? Anyone can do that. Unlucky me, aware of the pain - I was diagnosed with depression when I was 10. I wish I wasn't. I thought I was cured, but I wasn't; maybe I was just trying to convince myself I was and lied to myself enough that it became true. At least, for me. But that's just a game theory, don't listen to me! All 'cause I happen to have some brain - I'm better than this. I'm better than you. I'm better than you. I'm better than this body, this disorder, this trauma. Then why do you beat me down, and why does it affect me? Why does this body trap me and suffocate me? Why does this useless fucking disorder ruin everything it touches? It's touched me. I'd argue I'm pretty ruined, though that sounds pretty cliche. Why does my trauma hold me back? I'll never be normal and it's because of the trauma. I'm not better than the trauma, or the disorder, or this body, or you. And I'm smarter than you. I have the brains to realize that but I don't know how to say it without sounding like a prick.

Lucky is she, who lives unaware - I wish I was lucky. I wish I was unaware. Maybe I'd be happier if I wasn't. Lucky is she, who lives unaware - I wish I was you. Not because you're better than me, but because you're blissfully unaware of my problems. If I didn't know my own problems, I'd be happier, right? Unlucky me, who knows way too much - I can't think of what else to write. I don't know what else to write that isn't just rants about hating myself and wanting to die, that's too unoriginal. Who fights to make changes and music and such - Read above, I guess, IDK Unlucky me, aware of the pain - I wish I wasn't, because maybe that would make it go away. Maybe that would make it not exist. I know my logic is bad but it's better than nothing, right? All 'cause I happen to have some brain - Thanks for reading this, really. I know most people will just scroll past but if you read the whole thing it means a lot. You don't have to interact but just. It means a lot. Thank you.

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Something that confuses the ever loving hell out of me is people who think autism doesn't exist in adults. Or when being asked to picture an autistic adult can't do it. It's really baffling to me, because I think unless you're a conservative autism speaks supporting prick who think autism comes from vaccines or some shit we can all agree that autism is something you're born with and is something that an individual has for their entire life. So why do people think it doesn't exist in adults???? Genuinely confuses tf out of me.

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oh no people are harassing me on this account now 💀

I made this account like 3 days ago guys come on

I already have to remove links to my main because of harassment on both accounts

Let this be a lesson: Even if it's to "stop a genocide" "for the greater good" "this person is a zionist they deserve it" you should NEVER send death threats or harass anyone, ever, ESPECIALLY A MINOR. If you're that mad at me, may I suggest the lovely thing known as the block button?

Because I'm just saying, you have to make a lot of bad decisions to find yourself in the position where you're doing that.

And if you really care what some teenager on tumblr says about a conflict where their opinion is literally worthless because it's a tumblr post with 6 notes then, I'm sorry to break it to you, you're just a loser???

If you want to contact my main account (I'm not as political or depressed there) message me or send in an ask

The link to this account will still exist on my other account, don't make my change that 💀

Thank you for being super mature, tumblr

Free Palestine.

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At this point people just throw the word "Zionist" around without even knowing what it means. I was called a zionist yesterday but it's painfully apparent that the person who said that doesn't even know what a zionist actually is.

Here's the official definition for Zionism: "Zionism is a nationalist movement that emerged in Europe in the late 19th century aiming for the establishment of a homeland for the Jewish people, particularly in Palestine, a region roughly corresponding to the Land of Israel in Jewish tradition."

The people of Israel are suffering. There is still a terrorist organization specifically targeting them. Hamas never stopped existing. Saying this does not in any way undermine, ignore, or sugarcoat the suffering of the people of Palestine. And yet, just pointing that out makes me a zionist??? What???

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Do you realize how much misinformation there is about the Israel Palestine war?

Do people even know what the statement "From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free" ACTUALLY entails?

Do people realize that so many people are using the pro-palestine movement as an outlet for their anti-semetism?

Do people realize that Israel ceasefiring is a lost cause and will probably never happen? Do people realize what would happen if they did?

Do people even know where their donations are going? The borders of Palestine are closed; so to me it doesn't look like they're going to Palestine.

Have people forgotten Palestine's government is still being controlled by a TERRORIST ORGANIZATION? HAVE WE FORGOTTEN HAMAS EXISTS?

Palestinians do not deserve anything happening to them; nobody deserves to be genocided against, ever, no exceptions. But some of the activism is blatant anti-semetism. Do better.

Free Palestine.

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I don’t even care who fucking wins the presidency this year look at this

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my pfp is slightly off center and I can't fix it and it's the worst thing ever

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Do you realize how much misinformation there is about the Israel Palestine war?

Do people even know what the statement "From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free" ACTUALLY entails?

Do people realize that so many people are using the pro-palestine movement as an outlet for their anti-semetism?

Do people realize that Israel ceasefiring is a lost cause and will probably never happen? Do people realize what would happen if they did?

Do people even know where their donations are going? The borders of Palestine are closed; so to me it doesn't look like they're going to Palestine.

Have people forgotten Palestine's government is still being controlled by a TERRORIST ORGANIZATION? HAVE WE FORGOTTEN HAMAS EXISTS?

Palestinians do not deserve anything happening to them; nobody deserves to be genocided against, ever, no exceptions. But some of the activism is blatant anti-semetism. Do better.

Free Palestine.

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hey

this is a rant sideblog

If you want a link to my main, msg me or send in an ask

i will rant about the following topics

-my frustrations with politics

-just like politics in general

-my desires to kill myself

-my self loathing and other minor problems

-my hyperfixations

-other things i'm too tired to name

some info abt me is that I'm a minor, aroace, and use she/they/xe/it. I'm also nonhuman, an atheist and a questioning plural

For the sake of anonymity you can call me Axolotl, but I don't use that name on any other acc

Also I'm pro-endo, lesboy neutral, pro-selfdiagnosis, and anti-proship, so if you're anit-endo/anti-selfdiag/proship then DNI

anything else will be on my main blog

Common TWs will be

-Self harm

-suicide

-gore

-graphic depictions of gore

-graphic depictions of suicide, self harm, and/or wanting to do those in intricate detail

-politics

-ableism

-there may be other isms from time to time

I also talk a lot about feminism and radical feminism, I'm anti-terf though and argue with terfs from time to time

Don't call me immature, don't tell me to "leave it be", I made this blog for the whole purpose of NOT doing that so I will NOT be the bigger person, and I WILL waste my energy

my tag is "#drag me kicking and screaming"

Click below to help a Palestinian family in need. It's free and only takes a few seconds <3

bye