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reddie but it’s that one episode of friends where monica refuses to admit she’s sick and attempts to seduce chandler who is just trying to take care of her

Richie was supposed to be taking advantage of having the place to himself, writing material for his upcoming tour. So far, he’d only typed the words ‘my husband’ and had been lost in thought ever since. It was to be his first performance since he and Eddie had gotten married. He couldn’t stop smiling as he stared at his laptop, happily fiddling with his new wedding ring as he did so. Then, as if he’d been summoned by the power of Richie’s thoughts, Eddie trudged through the door.

“Hey, babe. I thought you were at work.”

“They sent me home,” Eddie croaked and, Jesus, he sounded awful. He removed his jacket and tried to hang it on the hook, missing completely and letting the garment fall to the floor. He sniffed, loosening his tie, “they said I can’t work if I’m sick.”

“That sucks,” Richie was on his feet and at his husband’s side in an instant, hanging the fallen jacket and taking his briefcase, “I’m sorry you’re sick-”

“I’m not sick!” Eddie snapped defiantly, attempting to walk over to the couch; he swayed a lot but ultimately made it, “I don’t get sick! I’m so careful.”

“Honey, it’s fine,” Richie gently manoeuvred Eddie to sit down and pressed the back of his hand to his forehead. Of course he was burning up. He rolled his sleeves, “okay, I’m gonna run you a nice relaxing bath and make you some soup. Sound good?”

Eddie leaned back against the couch in what he hoped was a seductive pose, “you gonna join me?”

Even with a runny nose and dopey expression, Eddie was still the cutest thing Richie had ever seen. That didn’t mean he was quite ready to infect himself just yet. He smiled, kissing the top of Eddie’s head, “I’ll be here when you get out.”

-

“Alright, what do you wanna do now?”

Richie looked up as Eddie hurtled into the kitchen, jogging on the spot in just a bathrobe. He gave the illusion of having loads of energy but Richie could tell he needed rest and a bit of TLC. He removed his Will Cook For Sex apron and took the prepared bowl of soup, offering it to Eddie.

“I’ll tell you what I want to do. Let’s watch a movie together, all comfy in bed under a big ass blanket and stay hydrated with lots of fluid. Sounds neat, right?”

“Okay,” Eddie ignored the soup and took Richie’s free hand, playing with his fingers, “but if we’re in bed, I don’t want to watch a movie,” he winked, coughing hard. Richie’s heart melted.

“Babe, you know me. I’d be all over you like a rash but…” he gestured at Eddie’s drippy nose which he promptly wiped. He helped Eddie to the couch and pressed the soup into his hands, “don’t take this the wrong way but I just can’t have sex with a sick person.”

“I can’t have sex with a sick person, either. That’s disgusting,” even as Eddie spoke he was trying to crawl across the couch to reach Richie only he got tired halfway and sank into the cushions. His voice was muffled where his face was pressed against the couch, “but I’m not sick. I’ll prove it to you right here, right now.”

Richie couldn’t help but smile, folding his arms, “sure you will.”

-

Thankfully, Eddie had fallen asleep after that, still uncomfortably pressed into the couch. Richie had effortlessly picked him up and carried him to the bedroom, tucking him into bed, kissing his forehead as he left him to rest. he went back to his laptop, fondly adding ‘my husband got sick recently’ to the start of his routine. He was definitely not going to pass up the opportunity to embarrass his darling husband. Richie was just about to add something about sick-Eddie being insatiable when he heard said husband’s voice drifting from their bedroom.

“Riiiichie.”

Resisting the urge to sigh, Richie stood and braved himself as he headed to the bedroom, “yeah, baby? You hungry? Thirsty? You want a-” he found Eddie sitting upright in bed, the bathrobe falling over one of his shoulders. He peeled back the covers, patting the empty space beside him.

“I’m only thirsty for your dick.”

“Jesus…” Richie ruffled his hair, “I thought you were sleeping.”

“I was. Now I’m ready for you,” Eddie shrugged off the bathrobe, immediately shivering. Richie was beside him in a heartbeat, pulling up his robe and fastening it for him.

“Oh, Eds, you know what gets me hot?” He tucked in his husband, pulling the thick blanket on their bed over him, “layers. Blankets. Hot water bottles,” he placed said bottle underneath the covers, caressing Eddie’s face softly, “fucking sexy.”

“I’m fine,” Eddie said hoarsely, trying to tug Richie on top of him, “I miss you. I just wanna make you feel as good as I feel.” Eddie finished his sentence with a rather aggressive coughing fit. Richie was a weak man but even he had standards. He sighed, sitting next to Eddie on the bed; he stroked his husband’s hair soothingly, pulling him against his chest.

“Just get some rest, honey.”

“I’m fine, asshole,” Eddie mumbled stubbornly, snuggling deeper into Richie. He was asleep almost instantly, snoring softly.

-

“Richie,” the comedian did groan this time but when he looked up he could tell something was different. Eddie looked weak and defeated as he traipsed over to where Richie was sitting on the couch. He sniffed, wiping his nose, “I think I’m sick.”

Richie raised his eyebrows, feigning surprise, “really? Not Eddie the Invincible.”

“Fuck you, okay? I admit it, I feel like shit,” he coughed for emphasis. Bless him he looked so sorry for himself. Richie closed his laptop again and gestured for Eddie to sit beside him. He obliged and held out some vaporub, “can you just rub some of this on my chest please?”

“Sure,” Richie instinctively reached for the small tub before his brain caught up with him. This was clearly a trap and Richie wasn’t stupid. He jumped up from the couch, pointing at his devious husband, “no, no, you sexy evil little bastard. I’m not falling for that.”

Rolling his eyes, Eddie just unscrewed the lid and undid his robe, “fine, have it your way. I’ll just do it myself.”

Oh, this was much worse. Eddie splayed almost naked on their couch, spreading the strong-smelling ointment across his chest, slathering his tattoo, letting out soft sighs every now and then. Richie couldn’t look away and he swallowed thickly.

“So you’re just…doing that?”

Eddie, who seemed to have remembered Richie was there, opened his eyes, furrowing his brow, “uh, yeah?”

“It’s working, I guess. I don’t know.”

Eddie slowed his movements, fixing Richie with a very judgemental look, “is this seriously turning you on?”

“Yes,” Richie groaned, lowering his head in shame, “the rubbing, the noises…you. I mean, how can it not turn me on?”

Eddie barked out an incredulous laugh, “are you kidding me? I’m sick here, Richie. I am so not in the mood. I couldn’t feel any less sexy,” Richie just wordlessly gestured at his pants which were noticeably tighter. Eddie shook his head, “what about all that shit about not having sex with a sick person?”

Richie scoffed, waving his arms frantically over Eddie’s body, “that was before all that vaporising shit. You can’t judge me right now.”

“Well, okay, if you really wanna have sex,” Richie was running off to the bedroom before Eddie had even sat up straight. Smirking to himself, he dropped the vaporub onto the table, “sucker.”

-

“So, yeah, anyway, after all that, I got sick,” Richie said as he turned to face his audience, glancing off to the side to where Eddie was standing proudly. He shook his head fondly, “bet you can’t guess guess how.”

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i recently discovered an old tumblr website thing called space email! so many old tumblr users left their usernames on there and many aren't active anymore, just hoping for the best for all of you

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theres never too many hearts for Richie ‘Pined for Eddie for 40 Years’ Tozier

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thinking about what a nightmare eddie and richie getting queer eyed would be 

do you remember that episode with the gay guy who wore only polos who wanted to come out to his stepmom and was shockingly ripped under said polos? eddie kaspbrak 

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reddie fic rec masterlist

i’ve recommended a lot reddie fics in the past years and just wanted to keep all the fic rec posts i created in one masterlist! 

2018 fic writer appreciation day fic recs

under appreciated reddie fics

adult reddie fics

adult reddie fix-it fics

getting-together (not yet established) reddie fics 

famous!richie fics 

protective!eddie fics

soulmate reddie fics

reddie meeting during the 27 years fics

(you can also look through my “fic rec” tag for more recs :D) 

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Bill as Barry:

my mom: his face is perfect for this role

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Barry: *exists*

Me: OH MY FUCKING GOD *makes personal pledge to love and protect this man at all times* FUCK WHY IS HE SO HOT—

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yep

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more bill as richie (2019)

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doodles from my side twitter that is basically just a clown town account atm 🤧💕

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i was looking for a movie to watch and i saw that TNT (the channel) had IT 2017 on demand-

but it was rated TV 14 so i was like "???" and i was watching it casually until i heard eddie say "they're gazebos! they're baloney!" AND I FUCKING LOST MY SHIT.

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him as keith morrison tho>>>>> DJFJDKSK the dateline guy just does it for me

migz’ top ten bill hader characters by fuckability 

you don’t have to agree with my opinions but you do have to agree that no matter who he’s playing he’s always packing the phattest meat possible

+ bonus honorable mentions

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anyone that says "richie and eddie weren't in love just because richie carved r+e into a bridge that just so happened to be called the kissing bridge!!1!1" ... do you see.... what u r saying....

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ALSO finally watched it chapter 2 and WOWOWOW that reddie content???? my soul is cleansed????? but poor stan i miss that guy

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downloaded & logged into this account for the first time in Actual Ages and WOW things have changed so much i'm an Old Person now

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doodles!!!