dragonbabezee

[dragonbabezee]

I'm writing fan fiction for the first time in months, and it feels so good to get swept up in my own fountain of melodrama. About an hour into a writing session I start to tap into that wherever it is that ideas and words come from, and it's joyful and addictive. For months now I have only had the time and energy for quickie sessions, which have been like hacking away at dry stone with an ice pick. I've written more in the last few hours than I have since I last posted a chapter.

[dragonbabezee]

Thank you. Sorry to hear you're going through hard times too.

My husband and I got together very young, and now we are not young. In fact, Valentine's day was the 28th anniversary of him asking me out. We've seen a lot better times than this, but it's not the first time things have been this bad, not by a long shot.

Feeling all the anxiety today. I'm sort of in despair over the state of the world, and the state of my husband's health, including mental health.

Today he had a meltdown over a very minor thing, and I am tiptoing around him. We had plans to go for a walk together, which is an increasingly rare activity for us to do together due to his health, but now he no longer wants to go with me because I "put him in a bad mood". I literally did nothing to put him in a bad mood except be the person that tried to help him when he got frustrated with what he was trying to do. It's literally just his mental weather taking him down again. Later on he might realise that, but it still hurts my heart.

I came on to social media to escape, and was again confronted with the unbelievable shit happening outside my house and marriage, and I feel like I have no escape from the unhappiness around me.

On monday I go back to work, where our project is in meltdown, and leaves me exhausted and strung out by the end of each day. There is no quarter of my life to take refuge in.

This has been in my drafts a week now, but this Sunday is like a repeat of last Sunday only worse.

[dragonbabezee]

Shitsville - you never know when you're going to find yourself there, or how long you'll stay.

[dragonbabezee]

Feeling all the anxiety today. I'm sort of in despair over the state of the world, and the state of my husband's health, including mental health.

Today he had a meltdown over a very minor thing, and I am tiptoing around him. We had plans to go for a walk together, which is an increasingly rare activity for us to do together due to his health, but now he no longer wants to go with me because I "put him in a bad mood". I literally did nothing to put him in a bad mood except be the person that tried to help him when he got frustrated with what he was trying to do. It's literally just his mental weather taking him down again. Later on he might realise that, but it still hurts my heart.

I came on to social media to escape, and was again confronted with the unbelievable shit happening outside my house and marriage, and I feel like I have no escape from the unhappiness around me.

On monday I go back to work, where our project is in meltdown, and leaves me exhausted and strung out by the end of each day. There is no quarter of my life to take refuge in.

This has been in my drafts a week now, but this Sunday is like a repeat of last Sunday only worse.

[dragonbabezee]

[dragonbabezee]

To quote my mother, who grew up under a dictator:

"Dictatorships are born in whispers."

Pay attention to every bill or executive order. Don't ask how it'll benefit the country. Ask how it'll benefit the one trying to get it passed. You'll start noticing the whispers.

To those who say, "Stop reading between the lines." No. Always read between the lines. Never take a politician at face value. This goes for all politicians regardless of party.

Look at their history, listen to their words, and ask yourself, "How is this benefiting them?"

[dragonbabezee]

I was just thinking along those lines. Friends in California are posting like they're livestreaming the apocalypse on Facebook, and the fascists have taken over most of X, and not enough people are paying attention to how the battle over AI supremacy is actually a battle for actual world supremacy. I'm already anxious enough without marinating in it.

a very genuinely gentle reminder: there is no glory or victory in doomscrolling and overwhelming yourself with despair. it achieves nothing beyond exhausting you and making it easier for your enemies to make you think there's no point in fighting.

if you're on video/post number 100 rehashing the fuckery going on rn and saying we're cooked and it's all over, put your phone down. put on a movie. read something happy and light. eat some food. go read your favorite fic. take a shower. go to bed early.

beaming despair into your brain for hours does nothing for anyone. take a breath. the fight will be there when you've made sure you're ready for it.

[dragonbabezee]

[dragonbabezee]

I have just seen that you posted about your new chapter!!! I am so glad your are alive hahaha!! Not going to lie, after so many years reading your writing I get parasocially worried that long hiatus mean something bad has happened in real life, so I hope you are doing well in your offline life.

Don't worry about the 28 weeks, I will wait forever for a new chapter of yours! as the kids say, "let her cook!"

You're not the only one. There's a long list of authors that I "knew" and who's work I followed, who one day just disappeared, and I'm like, RU OK? I'd be sad of they said rhey left the fandom but heartbroken if I knew they had died, or had a horrific brain injury, or gone into witness protection or something, but no explanations ever turn up.

[dragonbabezee]

New Chapter of Never Ever Land (I'm still alive!)

It's a sad truth that it's been 28 weeks between chapters after I promised myself and my readers I would hurry up and finish this story! Intention=/=action.

Last time on Never Ever Land, the B-Team shockingly graduated early from King Kai's training and had to race back to Earth. How will their long-awaited mission go?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9273714/93/Never-Ever-Land https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012183/chapters/155707852

[dragonbabezee]

Dragon Ball + text posts

[dragonbabezee]

I was about to laugh until I realized it was about the 2012 TMNT and not the 1987 original! Fucking kids, get off my lawn!

HAPPY MUTATION DAY

[dragonbabezee]

Glad you're hanging in there <3 can you say anything about your original fiction? I'm usually so overtaxed mentally that I don't have the will to read anything but my comfort series, but your writing is so wonderful I want to read it all the time <3 you don't have to share the work, I'm just curious what it's about :)

Huh? When did this get asked? I never saw it until coming to my inbox just now for a different question!

To be perfectly honest I am getting absolutely nowhere with my original writing. I am failing to find the time to write in general these days, and when I do sit down, my guilt drives me to my current fan fictions. And then I feel guilty about not working on the originals. So, sorry, I got nothing to deliver you.

[dragonbabezee]

Even after years, Broken Down Universe is the fanfiction I always return to. It always captures me like the first time! The way you described both Bulma and Vegeta's internal turmoil is catching✨️

Thank you, that's lovely of you to let me know. I still have a soft spot for that story, but I try to avoid rereading it because all the typos and grammar mistakes I made back then without a beta reader drive me crazy and make me want to take it down to overhaul.

[dragonbabezee]

Just an update that this period of unemployment only lasted 2 months before they called me back and offered me an promotion. I'm now really busy and have no time to write!

I'm having a shitty week. Good news for my readers is that come April I'll have lots of time to write fan fiction. Bad news for me is that between April and August I have no work and no contact.

This time I'm part of a smaller group let go because our contracts were up for renewal at a convenient time for the company to ditch some hands. I know I've done lots of fantastic work this last year. That that doesn't matter a damn this time around, and it's just a matter of convenient timing doesn't make it any better! What is the point of working so fucking hard if lay offs are "just the way the cookie crumbled?" And then I find out that for those remaining, they will be trained in the new software the department is moving to, and when I get back I'll be behind everyone else playing catch up. And I don't want to leave my city looking for work again

[dragonbabezee]

I should not post late at night, my time. It's always crickets and tumbleweed when I do.

Another chapter of Never Ever Land is out already, folks! The Not-Lost Boys, Part Two! Tuning in right where we left off with the B-Team on King Kai's planet - training is over, kiddos!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012183/chapters/142125937…

https://fanfiction.net/s/9273714/92/Never-Ever-Land…

[dragonbabezee]

they are both so...excellent at being themselves 🤣