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Boring old werewolf instincts:

Sexual jealousy

Constant aggression

Rigid hierarchy

Must win sports

Homophobia And Sexism Is Normal™

Eat people

Cool new werewolf instincts:

There is no five second rule

Corvids are friends

Hang out as a pack

Karaoke

Gotta pee

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[dragoneer-blog1]

while i get and agree with the fact that gay people should probably play gay people and gay stories are best written by gay people, the fervor to prove that “straight people shouldn’t play gay characters!!” is what the interviewer used to forcibly out lee pace so like

idk maybe slow your roll and realize that like… actors can be closeted, content creators can be closeted, and tbh this “you can only write your own experiences, never write someone else’s” rhetoric is also a bigot’s fucking wet dream?? like the perfect excuse to never write diverse characters?? and to say that they have nothing in common with people who don’t look/love/exist the same way as them??

yeah, the author of simon vs the homo sapien’s agenda is a cis straight woman, which means love, simon (though directed by a married gay man with multiple gay characters played by gay/bi actors) is based on a novel written by a straight woman… but this straight woman literally ends her book acknowledging the LGBT teens who helped her write the book and make sure she was writing it appropriately.

this is the content we want

listen… EVERY SINGLE piece of media EVER involves some level of writing about experiences that are not your own, especially if it’s diverse. even bland stories just about white people involves an author writing about genders that are not their own. if you want a story with characters of color, white authors are going to have to write about those perspectives. if you want gay characters in every story, straight authors are gonna have to write about those perspectives. even LGBT narratives might involve gay authors writing about bi characters or cis authors writing about trans characters.

what we HOPE FOR when they do that is that they talk to people… actually belonging to those groups to learn what is and isn’t appropriate and true to life. which is what the author of simon vs the homo sapien’s agenda did.

it’s exactly what she did. she literally worked in a support group for LGBT and GNC kids, saw they did not have cute love stories written for them after they told her this, and then worked with them to give them the love story they craved.

this is a good thing. this is progress for lgbt people. this is the path we need to walk towards getting LGBT content created by LGBT authors.

when you attempt to take the ~moral ground on protesting this film, all you’re doing is telling people who fund these projects that gay products don’t sell. they don’t get the nuance of what you’re going for. and, chances are, you’re looking like a fucking hypocrite, because i can promise you most of the canon gay characters you stan profit a cishet somehow (if they’re even canon).

so, y’unno, as someone who has read simon vs the homo sapien’s agenda AND seen the fucking movie let me tell you!! it’s fine!! it’s diverse beyond having gay character, it’s written respectively, and it hit home on a lot of experiences i WISH i had as a gay teen. it’s corny, it’s silly, and it’s all i ever would have wanted at 13, 14, 15

if you don’t want to see it, just fucking say so! but don’t act like you’re doing it on moral grounds. you can just… not like a movie or not want to see it without it being some moral victory.

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I wanted to do a portrait of Authand, but the software I used makes everone look like they are maybe 20.

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Reblog for the haiku bot

Here it is: how I got Horrible Histories banned from my school.

Sit down, I’m going to tell you a story.

Imagine a little girl, a 4’9” fifth grader with dimples and twinkling blue eyes. Oh, look, she’s going to the school library. Perhaps she’s going to rent Little Women, or read On the Banks of Plum Creek by Laura Ingalls Wilder!

Five minutes later, she exits the library holding a large stack of books called “Horrible Histories.”

And she’s thumbing through one called “Angry Aztecs.”

Record scratch. Freeze frame.

Yup, that’s me! The only history geek in a fifty mile radius. Living in Bumhicksville, Nowhere (name changed, but very accurate) is pretty terrible, and going to school at Caucasian Christian School of Goodness (again, a name change, but an apt description) is even worse. I snapped a bit while I was attending, due to the lack of permissible self-expression, but horrible histories were my guiding light.

Flash forward six months.

Our teacher wants us to do a history project about an ancient civilization. Since our curriculum is Eurocentricism.JPEG, most kids pick the Greeks or Romans (and completely skip over all of the good stuff, like orgies and gladiator fights) in their presentations.

I choose my favorite ancient civilization:

The Aztecs.

My teachers knew I’d been reading Horrible Histories, but what they didn’t know was that I’d also been avidly reading all about Aztec mythology. I walk up to the front of the class, pull on a turquoise skull mask, and raise my arms to the sky.

My teacher goes sheet white.

I give my presentation and skip nothing. Nothing. Every detail of the sacrifices, every dirty, disgusting part.

It all culminates when I point to the calendar.

“It’s May!” I shout, my little girl voice rising an octave. My teacher looks like she’s about to phone the police. “The Aztecs called May Toxcatl.”

No one moves or breathed. I continue blithely.

“Toxcatl was a month dedicated to the worship of the god of the night, Tezcatlipoca.” I’m still going. Everyone is afraid. Marie, one of my classmates, looks like she’s about to cry.

“They’d dress a brave warrior as the god all year, and at the end-“ I pull the red streamers out from behind my display, shouting: “They’d sacrifice him!”

The kids shriek as the streamers of “blood” roll out across the floor.

The principal walked in, hearing the commotion, just in time for me to really get into character and shout “BLOOD FOR THE GOD OF THE NIGHT!”

And that’s how Horrible Histories and all mentions of the Aztecs were banned from my school.

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A sudden, terrifying thought

When you see an animal with its eyes set to the front, like wolves, or humans, that’s usually a predator animal.

If you see an animal with its eyes set farther back, though—to the side—that animal is prey.

Now look at this dragon.

See those eyes?

They’re to the SIDE.

This raises an interesting—and terrifying—question.

What in the name of Lovecraft led evolution to consider DRAGONS…

As PREY?

[dragoneer-blog1]

“The Name’s Max, Maximum Ride”

Via ( IAmEmilyK )

[dragoneer-blog1]

Me. Every night

If you’re an introvert, follow us @introvertunites. 

[dragoneer-blog1]

Need to free some money up in my budget so I can get one of these!

Finally gave my etsy shop some attention and added these dragon hatchlings that I finished up last week. 

I’ll be adding more items in the next couple weeks to get the shop properly stocked for the holidays.

As always I’m open for dragon commissions, just send me a message!

[dragoneer-blog1]

Commonly Used Words and their Synonyms!

Instead of using… You can use the word…

Looked — observed, peered, gazed, glanced, explored, glimpsed, stared, eyed, viewed, noticed, watched, inspected, examined, and peeked. 

Said — told, stated, replied, phrased, announced, articulated, reported, expressed, voiced, mentioned, communicated, uttered, spoke, and vocalised.

Shouted — yelled, roared, exclaimed, hollered, cried, called out, squealed, wailed, screeched, squawked, bellowed, shrieked, screamed, and howled.

Laughed — chuckled, smiled, giggled, grinned, snickered, cracked up, hooted, roared, snorted, howled, erupt into laughter, and burst into laughter.

Good — great, pleasant, wonderful, positive, awesome, rad, splendid, worthy, superb, superior, marvellous, stellar, excellent, and super.

Bad — awful, atrocious, terrible, negative, unfortunate, rough, dreadful, dismal., poor, appalling, lousy, unpleasant, crummy, and miserable. 

Nice — polite, kind, respectable, friendly, well-mannered, admirable, wonderful, affable, lovely, nifty, pleasant, inviting, enjoyable, and fine.

Mean — nasty, evil, unkind, vicious, cruel, wicked, bothersome, spiteful, unpleasant, hateful, malicious, harsh, uncaring, and insensitive. 

Tried — weary, burned out, sleepy, sluggish, exhausted, drowsy, fatigued, heavy-eyed, beat, lifeless, drained, lazy, worn out, and droopy.

Scared — frightened, worried, afraid, anxious, fearful, timid, startled, suspicious, alarmed, apprehensive, petrified, shaken, terrified, and panicked.

Happy — glad, ecstatic, joyful, jovial, delighted, merry, content, elated, blissful, gleeful, cheerful, thrilled, pleasant, and overjoyed.   

Sad — unhappy, disappointed, miserable, blue, depressed, sorrowful, gloomy, melancholy, down in the dumps, dismal, heartbroken, down, and full of woe.

Mad — angry, outraged, grouchy, fuming, furious, frantic, irritated, cranky, annoyed, irate, livid, enraged, infuriated, and heated.

Excited — eager, wired, enthusiastic, simulated, thrilled, jubilant, hysterical, jumpy, charged, anxious, awakened, fired up, nervous, and on edge.

Pretty — beautiful, charming, attractive, elegant, handsome, gorgeous, dazzling, captivating, nice-looking, glamorous, lovely, stunning, appealing, and memorising.

Ugly — unpleasant, gruesome, horrid, gross, dreadful, beastly, grotesque, deformed, appalling, plain, unsightly, loathsome, hideous, and homely.

Little — small, young, tiny, mini, petite, short, minute, slim, pocket-sized, slight, pint-sized, minor, miniature, and wee.

Big — humongous, ginormous, gigantic, hefty, large, jumbo, huge, massive, enormous, oversize, vast, great, giant, and abundant.

Funny — hummus, whimsical, hilarious, eccentric, amusing, side-splitting, comical, lighthearted, witty, jolly, nutty, hysterical, jokey, and droll.

Fun — entertaining, interesting, pleasurable, a blast, exciting, captivating, enjoyable, fascinating, engaging, gratifying, action-filled, lively, amusing, and enchanting. 

Smart — keen, intelligent, clever, cunning, screwed, knowledgeable, brilliant, sharp-witted, wise, scholarly, bright, gifted, canny, and brainy. 

Like — love, care about, adore, value, fond of, treasure, cherish, appreciate, admire, enjoy, passionate about, crazy about, and devoted to.     

Hate — loathe, detest, dislike greatly, despise, execrate, feel revulsion towards, feel hostile towards, be repelled by, be revolted by, regard with disgust, be unable to stomach, find intolerable, shudder at, and recoil from. 

Hot — sweltering, fiery, overly warm, heated, burning up, stuffy, sizzling, spicy, blistering, humid, boiling, blazing, scorching, and scalding. 

Cold — chilly, very cold, icy, bitter, frigid, arctic, frosty, nippy, crisp, harsh, wintry, biting, freezing, and polar.

Fast — quick, speedy, sudden, hurried, abrupt, rushed, rapid, instantly, brisk, dashing, hasty, accelerated, swift, and prompt. 

Slow — unhurried, inactive, leisurely, slothful, sluggish, passive, gradual, snail-like, slack, time-consuming, stagnant, decelerate, delay, and losing speed. 

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Biology

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I'm sensitive to this, which is why I avoid sex scenes in my writing.

ok but does anyone else find it fucking creepy the sheer amount of old men writing YA fiction about teenagers having sex?

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Body language that conveys embarrassment other than blushing

Because some of you fanfic writers need this

Taking steps backwards

Hiding your face in your hands

Shifting glances all around the room

Wide eyes

Crossing your arms across yourself

Taking a defensive stance/pose

Stuttering (USE SPARINGLY PLEASE)

Scratching the back of your head

Shifting weight from side to side

Exaggerated hand motions (fanning self, vague gestures, etc.)

Nervous quirks (playing with your hair, picking at skin/clothing, etc.)

Turning head sideways to avoid staring straight ahead

Keep in mind that blushing comes from blood running to the face, so people aren’t going to turn cherry red, especially if they have darker skin where it’s less obvious. 

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like for dragons, reblog for dragons, reply for dragons, ignore for dragons… dragons…

[dragoneer-blog1]

The Book of Fawla, Chapter 3

Kate followed him in silence.  Kreelan’s feet seemed to hardly touch the ground as they danced through the mat of leaves and small branches covering the dirt. Kate always felt somewhat graceful but lumbered in comparison to him. She worried about the goblins. Were they in the forest? Kreelan was nearly silent but she imagined that anyone for miles could hear her.

After walking for an hour, the wood opened up to a plain. Small fields dotted the landscape surrounding village of low buildings with thatch roofs.

“Welcome to Zanor, my lady,” Kreelan said with a sweep of his arm. “We will go directly to Regkor’s home.”

She nodded. He turned again towards the path. Gone were his careful footfalls. He didn’t seem to be moving faster, but now she had trouble keeping up. Trippy bounded in front of them and would wait for Kate to catch up before leaping ahead again.

Inside the village, Kreelan led them to a home near the town’s edge. Open shutters framed glassless windows. The day was warm but smoke drifted form the chimney. Kreelan knocked on the door.

A middle-aged elf answered. Unlike Kreelan, he wore glasses. A quill stuck out of his disheveled brown hair behind his ear. “What do you want Kreelan?” he asked. “I was in the middle of translating a very promising scroll. Oh, and who is your odd looking companion?”

“Odd,” Kate said. “Me?” She pointed at herself. “You’re…”

“Regkor,” Kreelan interrupted. “This is Kate, our long lost princess of Fawla.”

“Oh dear me.” Regkor looked down. “I’m sorry, your majesty. I didn’t know. Please don’t kill me.” He bowed down until his head touched the ground.

“Kill you? Why would you think that?” Kate asked. Trippy stepped forward and sniffed at his head. “Trippy, stop that.”

“Maybe this would be a better conversation for inside,” Kreelan said.

“Oh, yes, yes.” Regkor stood up. “Please, come in. I know it must not be equal to the lifestyle you are used to, but please make use of my humble abode.”

He led them into his study. Scrolls were piled up on every surface save for a single overstuffed chair. He quickly uncovered two more chairs. He directed Kate to the main chair and then rushed off.

“What was all that about me killing him? I’ve never killed anything, let alone a person.” Kate looked around the room. A nearby scroll caught her eye. She picked it up. It had the same lettering as her book back home.”

“I do not know, mylady. Regkor knows more about your previous visit. You must have been different then,” Kreelan said.

Regkor returned with a large platter with a kettle and cups. It shook in his hands. He looked around for a place to set it. Kreelan came to his rescue by offering his wooden seat. “I prefer sitting on the ground anyway.”

Regkor set the platter on the chair and picked up a glass. It rattled in its saucer. “Please, allow me,” Kate said.

“Oh, no, your majesty. That would not be proper,” he protested.

“I insist. And please, none of this your majesty stuff. I’m just an ordinary woman, or at least I was before I came here. Call me Kate.” She rose from her chair and gently nudged him away from the tea set before he could break something.

As she poured the tea and handed it out, she continued. “That’s why we are here. I know nothing of this prophecy or my powers. A couple of hours ago, I was an ordinary woman in an ordinary world, settling in to try to read a strange book I’d found. I was sucked into it. Literally. Moments later, Kreelan found me.”

“Hmm, maybe you were bewitched into believing a false life.” Regkor scratched his chin. His earlier nerves seemed forgotten with a puzzle to sort out.

“Kreelan suggested that. I don’t think so.” She sat back in her chair. “What makes more sense? I’m thousands of years of old and don’t remember it or that I’m not really the person you think I am?”

“It would have to have been very powerful magic,” Regkor admitted. “And you certainly don’t act like how you are described in the scrolls.”

“But she has the power,” Kreelan protested. He started getting up.

“Kreelan, sit down,” she admonished.

“Yes, my lady.” He crumbled to the ground in a resigned heap.

“Regkor, do your books – err, scrolls describe what your princess looked like? Was she an elf like you? I’m human.”

“Human?” Regkor gasped, backing away. “A human in my house. Kreelan, why did you bring a dirty human into my home?”

Kate opened her mouth but Kreelan interrupted her. “She has the power,” he shouted, rising to his feet. “She is the princess.”

“There is no way she can be the princess,” Regkor argued. “Humans aren’t smart enough to wield magic.”

“Hey, guys.” Kate waved her hands. “I’m right here.”

“I’m sorry, my lady.” Kreelan turned to her. “I didn’t expect Regkor to hold such prejudice. He’s never actually met a human before and apparently believes the fairy tales he was told as a child.” He spat the last part.

Regkor crossed his arms. “Oh, and I suppose you have.”

“There is one right in front of us. Kate is obviously not the dumb brute we were told about.”

“I… I need some time to think about this. I need to consult my scrolls. Are you really a human?”

She lifted her hair that had fallen over her ear. “Look, see. No pointed ears.”

Kreelan placed his hand on her elbow and guided her towards the door. “Come, my lady. Let us find accommodations that are less prejudiced.”

As he led her away, Kate heard Regkor. “Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable.”

She turned to respond, but Kreelan tugged at her arm. “He will come around and find the answers you seek. He just needs time.”

They reached the door in time to hear a loud knocking. Kreelan looked through the spyhole. “Goblins,” he muttered. He turned to Kate. “Cover your ears. If they find out who you are, they will kill you.”

She did as he instructed and he opened the door. Three men wearing dirty uniforms stood at the doorway. Stringy hair framed their greyish faces. They were short. The tallest only reached Kate’s chin. She realized with a start that they were the goblins.

The tall one spoke. His voice was raspy and he hissed his s’s. There were no plants nearby to translate for her.

Kreelan frowned. “What do you mean taxes are due? The agreement was once per moon. It hasn’t even been a sevenday.”

The one on the right waved a torch in Kreelan’s face. He batted it away. The tall one hissed out a response.

“Never,” Kreelan shouted. The goblin on the left drew his sword and knocked him down. The leader said something else. The torch bearer grinned and threw the torch on the thatched roof.

[dragoneer-blog1]

I have a lesbian who is hunted by a monster for much of my book, and I've been avoiding it (she only barely escapes at first) but I think she needs to die. How do I do it tactfully? She's not the only lgbt main char but I want to do her justice

The Bury Your Gays Breakdown, from a Super Mysterious Assistant

Alright!  First, in case it’s helpful for anyone reading, I’m going to go into “should she die?”  It sounds like you’re pretty settled on that, but bear with me for a minute here.

So you want to kill your lesbian (or otherwise not-staight-and-cis) character!

The first thing you should consider is, does she have to die?  If so, why?  Is it the logical conclusion of her character arc to die?  Is there no other possible way the plot could be resolved?  If you can’t answer “yes” to one or both of those, you might want to reconsider killing her.  (If the answer to “why does she need to die?” is “so her girlfriend is single again and can be paired with another character” then you really want to reconsider, because it will not look good and there will be backlash.)

The second thing to consider is, do you have other living representation?  This is pretty simple: if you only have one lesbian character, killing her is more of a problem, because then you’re killing 100% of your lesbian characters.  If you have five lesbian characters, killing one-who is now 20% of your lesbian characters-isn’t as big an issue.  Keep in mind, you also want to consider how significant these other characters are: if you kill off a major lesbian character, you need other major lesbian characters to balance it out; minor characters who have two lines in the entire book don’t count, even if they’re lesbians.  (Whether other LGBT characters count is a bit of a gray area.  If you have one lesbian character who dies, but a bisexual, a transgender, a gay, and an ace character that live, it’s not quite as good as having several living lesbian characters, but it’s better than only having living straight-and-cis characters.)

So you’ve decided you have a good reason to kill your lesbian character, and your story won’t be bereft of any living representation when you do?  Let’s talk about how to kill her well!

The first rule is, however your character dies, it should not have to do with her being a lesbian.  She should not be seduced by a woman who turns out to be an assassin (or vampire) and murders her.  She should not run into Zeus, who kills her for refusing him.  She should, probably, not be shot and killed by a stray bullet, although five years from now that one might be okay.  What kills her should be just as likely (historically, in both media and real life, as well as logically) to kill anyone else.

The second rule is, her death has to be the result of her choice.  She shouldn’t die because someone else decided to kill her, and she didn’t have enough plot armor to stop them.  She should die because she made a decision-maybe not rational, maybe not fully aware of the risks, but her own decision-and that decision directly resulted in her death.  She stepped in front of the charging mook to protect the hero while he finished the spell that will save the world, or she decided to cross the canyon on the rickety bridge as a shortcut, and it broke when she was halfway across.

The third rule is, her death has to matter to the plot.  This one is a little hard to pin down, because “the plot” is such a variable thing, but the general idea is: imagine if, instead of dying, your lesbian character got exasperated with these idiots she’s been hanging around with, bought a bus ticket to California, and lived out the rest of her life in happy plot-free-land.  Would the rest of your story go the same way, minor details (such as a mention of her) aside?  Then there is a problem.  If, however, whatever she does while or because she’s dying, or what she does that results in her death, changes the direction of the plot, then her death matters.

Now, one last thing: if you do all this, your reader, or listeners, or watchers, will still be upset.  But if they’re upset because a favorite character of theirs died, rather than because another lesbian was killed for no purpose but sensationalism, then you’ve done your job well.

[dragoneer-blog1]

Reblog this if you want a short/long anonymous message saying what they think of you.