drakessis

[drakessis]

Me when I see the word beaʃte

In my head: ah! The archaic form of the letter s! Being a casual scholar of linguistics myself I am well aware that though it resembles the letter f in modern typography in fact it is phonetically identical to s! How foolish it would be to stumble into such a simple lexiconical pitfall!

Me aloud to myself every time: beeft

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someone: hey what do you think of (paranormal topic)

me, wise in the ways of the unexplained: well its either real or its fake

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america is about to see a resurgence of 19th century barber surgeon style "fastest surgeon in the world" type shit

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on the first day of wokemas my true love sent to me a pronoun in a cancel tree

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evil homers villainous gaping maw

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i know i’m biased because i’m 12 at heart and i think everything he does is funny but my little brother put together a last-minute “time traveler” costume for halloween which comprised solely of this homemade WW3 draft card and i think every single aspect of it is absolutely fucking hilarious

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they dont do recency bias like they used to

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say what you want about the use or eschewing of adverbs but you knowwwwwwwwww how it's going when "wetly" shows up!!!!!

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kill the part of your brain that tells you there were potatoes in medieval europe. there were not

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its always "pissing me off" and never "pooping me off". Now why is that?

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They sound like little mosquitoes

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we used to say shrimp heaven now. Do you remember that? and we used to laughhhhh

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log onto tumblr and you learn that cowboys are secretly leftist and pirates are secretly leftist and superhero comics are secretly leftist and vikings are secretly leftist and greco-roman antiquity is secretly leftist and knights are secretly leftist and the concept of the appalachian region is secretly leftist and all genre fiction is innately secretly leftist and every animated show you ever watched as a kid is secretly leftist and you never have to think about the political subtext of anything ever and you log off tumblr and for some reason people are talking about a descent toward fascism

[drakessis]

“I’ve searched everywhere”