dreadfulman

[dreadfulman]

Happy Pride, please remember

- Gender is an internal sense of self, not a magic spell, and does not guarantee anything. Listen to your trans siblings and give space for eachother's experiences.

- Intersex people are not a prop to explain the existence of transness. They are in the fight with you. Have their back or keep your mouth shut. We do not need to step on them to justify why we are here.

- Silence the devil on your shoulder calling other queer identities cringe. He's a fed.

- Yes this means softboi ukulele music transmascs/MTG doggirl transbians/Bungenders/Arsongenders(I've never seen someone call themselves this but I think it sounds sick as hell)/starplatonic aceflux demiro polyams/whoever the fuck you think it's ok to make fun of because you cannot kill the beast within that cringes at labels you don't use.

- Free yourself from the shackles of bio and gender essentialism.

[dreadfulman]

You know what sucks total fucking dick? When I was a boy and I would Mock Femininity As An Excuse To Express It and my mom would get mad at me for it, it was never, ever, ever, EVER because "I was making fun of women and that's bad", or "I shouldn't be mocking girls or femininity." No. That would actually require even a modicum of respect for womanhood. Instead, she would say, "stop acting like a girl", "stop talking like a girl", "you're gonna make people think you're a faggot, is that what you want?" The absolute worst thing an Ay-Mab Person can be is not just feminine, but Like A Woman. Or even, a woman at all. It wasn't just men and boys who told me this, it was women and girls. Fucking seriously. Does every woman just hate other women? Does every woman hate femininity? Hate being a woman? I guess hating femininity is the one thing all genders have in common. No one thinks a cis woman truly chooses to be feminine, because they think that some people have Magical Fertility Goddess Blood and that those people are called women. But imagine being a person who chooses femininity and thinks of womanhood as being a more beautiful, more whole, more meaningful, more expansive, existence, when you're not supposed to.

Anyway, doesn't my mom realize that the same society that encourages people to mock femininity is the same one that thinks trans women and feminine (cis and trans) men are faggots? It devalues femininity, except for when it's essentialized as a static concept of womanhood and assigned to some people with biology or some divine bullshit as a pretext to control them.

[dreadfulman]

Happy Pride, please remember

- Gender is an internal sense of self, not a magic spell, and does not guarantee anything. Listen to your trans siblings and give space for eachother's experiences.

- Intersex people are not a prop to explain the existence of transness. They are in the fight with you. Have their back or keep your mouth shut. We do not need to step on them to justify why we are here.

- Silence the devil on your shoulder calling other queer identities cringe. He's a fed.

- Yes this means softboi ukulele music transmascs/MTG doggirl transbians/Bungenders/Arsongenders(I've never seen someone call themselves this but I think it sounds sick as hell)/starplatonic aceflux demiro polyams/whoever the fuck you think it's ok to make fun of because you cannot kill the beast within that cringes at labels you don't use.

- Free yourself from the shackles of bio and gender essentialism.

[dreadfulman]

“I don’t get it, do trans men want to be treated like men (read: like cis men) or not? We treat them like men and they complain, but if we treated them like women they would also complain. I don’t get it!”

How’s about not treating different genders of people differently solely because of their gender?

Why do you treat men and women differently?

Is that not the exact cis patriarchy we’re trying to do away with?

[dreadfulman]

Just saw a tag on a post to the effect of “‘trans men aren’t cis men’ is the thing that transandrophobes have the biggest problem understanding.”

And I think that’s only part of it.

Transandrophobes have a problem understanding trans men and mascs as anything other than “basically a cis man” or “basically a cis woman” or sometimes “the beneficial combination of things from cis manhood and cis womanhood”. They do not think of us beyond how we are like cis people.

You see it in how all the arguments against transmasc language are made. Hell, one of them even gave us a handy graph on how they’re viewing it over here.

It’s extremely fucked.

[dreadfulman]

Next time you want to call me a moron in my ask box can you hurry up about it and not make me read an entire paragraph of rambling that fails to state it's position. It's very inefficient.

[dreadfulman]

Utterly divorced from discourse I do think it's at least a little bit embarrassing to self identify as a misandrist.

[dreadfulman]

Reminder that many people detransition because they have been forced back into the closet. And they're still trans positive despite this. This pride month, remember that they still deserve a voice and place in the community, especially because they can help us understand why people detransition for that reason. Knowing that one day they'll still have a community to come to and existing loudly for them is a lot more trans positive than pushing them to the side or judging their transness because of it.

[dreadfulman]

"YEP YEP THAT EXPLAINS IT" n-no it doesn't? You haven't explained anything? You just puked up a bunch of words you don't like??? Have you or your art mutual actually read anything people in the transandrophobia tag say??? Or are you just guessing based on "I don't like trans men who say X"??? I'm so confused.

[dreadfulman]

One of the hardest parts of trying to talk about transandrophobia is that a lot of the pressure for us to stay (gc) women, a lot of the hatred thrown at us, a lot of the baying for our blood and fearmongering about us is coming from cis women.

And like, people know about TERFs and radfems and they'll support trans femmes speaking out against them.

But the moment you criticise a woman as someone who is not a woman you are accused of misogyny usually in the vein of 'blaming women for all your problems' as if the issues brought forth by trans men and cis men aren't completely different.

And even though it's genuinely misogynistic to assume that women are;

a) not capable of being bigots etc at all at least not against non-women

b) aren't capable of being help accountable/responsible for their words and actions

c) both of the above

Women are people, people are flawed, if the flaws involved bigotry people should be called out for it. It's that easy.

Cis women feel like they own the bodies of those AWBS (Assumed Women Based on Sex) or C/AFAB because they (assumedly) share a sex. They will enact many violences on trans mascs because of the perceived transgression of what is right our existence is. We are women who are scorning womanhood. We are gender traitors. At best we're stupid confused little girls who just need help from mature intelligent radfems. If that results in our assault, torture or death so be it. Natural order restored, right?

And it is ridiculous we are expected to pretend only cis men are harmful when so much harm against us comes from cis women too.

[dreadfulman]

but fr I'll never take it seriously when someone says "i was abused by men, I'm allowed to hate them and anyone trying to show love for men is an MRA" like you know how many of us were abused by our mothers and it's still (rightfully) considered not okay to say that women are all abusers just waiting to kill their children. If you blame violence on someones gender instead of the societal mechanisms that encourage and allow violent and harmful behaviour you're perpetuating that cycle.

[dreadfulman]

This is a really good addition and a lot less snappy and angry about the point than my original post lmao thank you.

The memification of social justice really is where a lot of people hit a snag on progressing past "girls go to college to get more knowledge, boy go to Jupiter to get more stupider" as a basis for their feminism.

It's what leads to garbage like "butch privilege" as a concept because when you don't actually dismantle gender roles and just change which ones you think are good you start imagining a world in which male privilege is stored in the jeans and a batman shirt and not a set of restrictive, exclusionary social rules.

It's what leads to bullying perceived-feminine people into hyper femininity because if they don't want to have a 20-step daily makeup look they clearly just hate girls. It leads to the lionising of nasty, rude, "mean girl" cruelty because they've internalised the idea that because he's a man, doing whatever their coworker Greg doesn't like is transgressive, radical praxis, especially if you can make a post about how funny and cool you were when you did it!

And it doesn't go anywhere! It can't go anywhere! There's no real escape here from the overbearing prevalence of feminine and masculine roles! Some trans people might get by if they can dance to the tune, some GNC people might get to be jesters and sex objects if they stay quiet, but we're still playing by straight and cisnormative rules and intersex people and "bad queers" are still getting ground under the wheels.

Everyone who got annoyed at me over the cis woman who couldn't understand a man knowing what experiencing misogyny is like post is proving my point btw.

Everyone who had something to say about "do you want to be seen as a man or not" is proving my exact point that people cannot fully accept the notion of men who are not welcomed into the boys club of cis manhood. The notion of "Man" is entwined inextricably with Power, Control, if I am a man that must mean I wear The Boot because Man means Wearing The Boot. You want me to chose between my sense of self and my lived experiences because to you, a "real man" would not have had my experiences.

You people are incapable of understanding gender as an internal sense of self and not as a magic spell. You fail to progress your feminism past a no boys allowed sign hung on the door of a playhouse. You are deeply fucking unserious and it's frankly embarrassing.

There's a serious problem in progressive spaces wrt seeing people as entire people with flexible experiences and not just identities listed like Pokémon types. Be better.

[dreadfulman]

Absolutely crazy how often I see self proclaimed trans allies with pronouns in their bios say shit like "all men benefit from anti abortion laws." Like, "cis" is a three letter suffix guys. Three letters. Literally how am I ever going to take you seriously as an ally if you are afraid of three. fucking. letters.

[dreadfulman]

"well don't y'all believe in afab oppression and socialisation" has me on the floor like you litterally can't even pretend to argue with the actual thing being said you are fully hallucinating a different guy to get mad at.

[dreadfulman]

There's the additional angle that it implies trans men are weedling little cowards who'll piss people off then play at being just innocent little baby boys. Which, while I don't think people are thinking that hard about the pejoratives they use, is fucking weird. Like it is fucking weird to insult a group of trans people on the basis that you think they are asking to get punched.

anyway gonna talk about the origins of the pejorative "birthday boy" and how yall are only calling trans men/mascs birthday boys in reference to this tweet because what? we're short? thats the joke? this entire post is only about both these mens heights, so just because trans men/mascs tend to be on the shorter side, you decide to use that against us?

height is something that a lot of trans men/mascs have immense dysphoria over and its just shitty that transandrophobic assholes would use our dysphoria against us like this

[dreadfulman]

What I'm getting at what I'm honestly, genuinely talking about. Is that people on this fucking webbed site who are convinced that they didn't get radfem brainrot talk their way down a logic path that includes "real men don't get raped" and think it's fine because they skip saying those exact words.

You are fucking ghouls and the nerve of some of you to try and paint "trans men also experience XYZ" as TERF behaviour is pure projection.

[dreadfulman]

Everyone who got annoyed at me over the cis woman who couldn't understand a man knowing what experiencing misogyny is like post is proving my point btw.

Everyone who had something to say about "do you want to be seen as a man or not" is proving my exact point that people cannot fully accept the notion of men who are not welcomed into the boys club of cis manhood. The notion of "Man" is entwined inextricably with Power, Control, if I am a man that must mean I wear The Boot because Man means Wearing The Boot. You want me to chose between my sense of self and my lived experiences because to you, a "real man" would not have had my experiences.

You people are incapable of understanding gender as an internal sense of self and not as a magic spell. You fail to progress your feminism past a no boys allowed sign hung on the door of a playhouse. You are deeply fucking unserious and it's frankly embarrassing.

There's a serious problem in progressive spaces wrt seeing people as entire people with flexible experiences and not just identities listed like Pokémon types. Be better.