dreamerleamer

[dreamerleamer]

“Who taught you how to hate yourself?”

I learned it from my parents.

[dreamerleamer]

pt. 2

I'm not sure how, but at some point, I'm talking with the girl again. The only thing I remember before I started talking to her were screams, and they were loud terrifying screams. But I am here with her, and the light has gotten better. I can kind of see her face, but I don't remember it. I can't remember what she looks or sounds like. The room is still dark, but there is a gray bed with gray walls. I have no clue how I got here or why I am here, but I am regardless. We are talking about something that has to do with monsters again and why this place always screams. Like there are screams that echo, but if you aren't tuned into them at the moment, you can't hear them. Eventually, I try to tell her to sleep, but before she does that we kiss. It was surprising on my end, but for the first time in a dream, I smiled and felt whole. It was like strawberries in the dark. I touch her face and smile before I pull away. She crawls under her blankets, and I hold her hand before I leave. I don't know why I leave, but it's like I know I have to be somewhere I just don't know where. Somehow, I am with the old lady again and she is knitting something while facing a desaturated gray wall that is peeling. I don't like this room and that feeling sits for a while before I hear a young child scream. I dash in the direction of the screams. I have to open a door and travel across a bridge and up spiral stairs. I get to the room of the screams, and I open the door; there is a very young boy sitting next to his bed and he is sobbing. I don't know why but I know he is dead. Strangely enough, he looks normal, like he is alive, but I know that he is dead. He has black, short and thin hair. His eyes are sunken in, and his skin is gray with a yellow-ish tint. I go over to him, and I try to ask him if he is okay, but he runs away. When he is gone, I look around his room and notice there is a very old TV on, but it just shows a gray picture. Then I look at his bed, which is also incredibly gray. Then I notice there is an overwhelming amount of darkness coming from beneath his bed. I leave the room without inspecting it, but I think before I woke up, I was back with the old lady again and felt some sort of strange safety in the room I hated before. I am still uneasy here, but it is not nearly as bad as that room.

[dreamerleamer]

Last night I had a dream. It was unsettling, the environment. It was like I was in one of my old homes, the brown house. There was nothing that resembled the brown house, but the feeling I got from the area told me that it was the brown house. Strangely enough, I had no family there. It was like I was alone, but that is not what scared me. I was frightened because I was back where I did not want to be. I'm walking around the dark halls, there was a light coming from above, but it was white, not yellow like sunlight. What is strange is that the roof was still there, but there was light from above, but not ceiling lights. Anyways, I'm walking through the rooms, and I hear people screaming, so I run toward the screams. Eventually, I see a girl who I think is a year or two younger or older than me. I can't tell her age; I just know that she is old enough to know that she is scared and knows how to take care of herself. I can't figure out why she's afraid because I can't see anything, but I run to her and try to calm her down. I get her to calm down, but what happens in between that moment and the next I don't recall. The next thing I remember is sitting with an old lady. She has gray hair in a high bun and she's wearing a blue and purple shawl. I'm not sure why but I trust her enough to be around her. The girl from before is gone. The old lady and I exchange very few words. I don't remember what she said exactly, but it had something to do with the truth and realizing that monsters can hide anywhere if you allow them to. There was something cryptic about what she said, like she knew me. I think we sat in silence for a moment, then I decided to walk around the halls. I walked into a room and there was a broken bridge. I walked and remembered that it creaked and moaned with each step. I felt scared but kept going because there was something I needed to see or know about. At some point I stop, and I look down, and all I see is a dark endless ravine. For a moment I am scared I will fall in, but at the same time it is comforting because it is familiar. I don't know how long I was there staring into the dark pit surrounding me, but I keep moving. I reach the other side and, instead of a door or new room, it's another bridge, but this one has spiral stairs all around it. If I choose to go up certain flights, I know I will find myself in another place, so I keep on the same ground. The lighting hasn't gotten any better, in fact, it's gotten worse. Wherever I am walking to gets darker, but it feels almost safe, it is uncharted territory, but it feels safe. Some sections of the bridge have holes in them, so I take special care to walk around them. This bridge is not as creaky as the one before. It's actually quite silent. I hear no more screams, but there is a strange breathing around me. That sound is the only scary thing here because it's constant and I don't know where it is coming from. There comes a point where I reach a door, but I can barely see anything. I go through it and the room I'm in has almost no light at all. I keep walking through, but on the other side I can see a very faint white light. I walk toward it but there's nothing at all. It's just light coming from some unknown source. I'm not sure how, but at some point, I'm talking with the girl again. The only thing I remember before I started talking to her were screams, and they were loud terrifying screams. But I am here with her, and the light has gotten better. I can kind of see her face, but I don't remember it. I can't remember what she looks or sounds like. The room is still dark, but there is a gray bed with gray walls. I have no clue how I got here or why I am here, but I am regardless. We are talking about something that has to do with monsters again and why this place always screams. Like there are screams that echo, but if you aren't tuned into them at the moment, you can't hear them.