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Just For A Moment - Masterlist
TW: Cheating, angst
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
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🥰🥰🥰
stella + sev’s shoulder CHICAGO FIRE (2012—)
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One of my favorite scenes 🥰🥰
You think that’s funny? Yeah, it’s funny. I was kidding. I’m fine. Get your ass to Molly’s. Gladly. You’re a terrible person.
CHICAGO FIRE 6.12 — “The F is For”
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Countrymusiclover here - could you send me any ideas for my Will Halstead book Dr. Redheaded Neighbor that you'd like to see?? I am having writer's block
I'm not very good at writing stories and following the plot but you could do where Will listens to his brother about Burke but Burke doesn't like that he is losing a "client" and he stalks Mallory and Will and confronts Will in the parking lot of one of Mallory dr. appointments, blackmails Will with information he has on him or Mallory and Mallory sees but doesn't confront him right away about and tries to figure it out on her own but crosses paths with, Jay who is investigating still and......
Idk if it will make sense or not but that's what I came up with #dr.redheadedneighbor #WillHalstead
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If You Loved Me, Why Did You Leave Me? - Series
Summary: Casey and Y/N have been best friends and colleagues for almost a decade. But everything changes when Y/N confesses her love for him. What she doesn't know is that Dawson is willing to do anything to be with Casey. He'll have to choose between Y/N and Dawson, and the consequences of his action will affect the whole Firehouse 51.
Warnings: mentions of death, grief, injuries, hospital, fires, smoking, alcohol, eventual smut.
Pairing: Matt Casey x Female Reader
A/N: Hey, loves! This is my first fic and my first series here on Tumblr. I hope you enjoy this series, there's gonna be a lot of angst and some heartbreaking moments, you might hate me for that lol, but I promise you there will be a happy ending.
Chapter One: You Can't Change The Past
Chapter Two: Just A Small Cut
Chapter Three: Why Can't You Trust Me?
Chapter Four: Confessions
Chapter Five: Don't Leave Me
Chapter Six: This Isn't A Goodbye
Chapter Seven: The Truth Always Comes Out
Chapter Eight: It's Good To Be Back
Chapter Nine: Back On Duty
Chapter Ten: It All Worked Out In The End
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The Way Home Masterlist
Pairings: Kelly Severide x Reader || Matt Casey x Reader (Platonic)
Series Summary: Reader returns to Chicago, getting posted to Firehouse 51 as a paramedic and finding, to her surprise, a familiar face in the Truck Lieutenant there. While struggling with finding herself and trying to return some normalcy to her life, Y/N has to navigate around rebuilding old friendships and developing new ones.
A/N: Setting of first chapter is in late Season 3, early Season 4! I won’t be using all canon events, but I may use (some) as a general idea.
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Chapter 1: Hello, Chicago
Chapter 2: Reconnecting
Chapter 3: Stepping In
Chapter 4: Looking Out For You
Chapter 5: Roomies
Chapter 6: Your Place
Chapter 7: Got Your Back
Chapter 8: Reinforcements
Chapter 9: To Friends
Chapter 10: Realization
Chapter 11: Awkward
Chapter 12: Forward
Chapter 13: Feeling Real
Chapter 14: Future
Chapter 15: Crossfire
Chapter 16: Too Close For Comfort
Chapter 17: all in a day’s work
Chapter 18: Aftermath
Chapter 19: uneasy memories
Chapter 20: Ex Season
Chapter 21: Handled
Chapter 22: no one needs to get hurt
Chapter 23: Don’t get shot
Chapter 24: Home
This series is now complete!
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“Loud and Wrong”
Characters: Kevin Atwater x Black!Reader.
Summary: Kevin and wifey have a minor disagreement.
Warnings: Fluff and a dash of spicy talk.
Word Count: 2,000+.
A/N: Well, lovelies. I've been having sleepless nights lately. Dealing with some ish. Life be life-inggg and it's keepin' my ass up at night *le sigh*. Tired of my mind racing. So to cut off intrusive thoughts I gave it a go and worked on some of my WIPS. My head quieted down enough for me to finish one. I've got some other things I've been working on as well. Fingers crossed I can finish some other works🤞🏾. This isn't heavily edited, but I hope you still enjoy it my loves🫶🏾. Here's to hoping I haven't lost my spark as a writer 😩😆🤷🏾♀️.
“The disrespect in this household is at an all-time high. Just going to sit there and eat in my face like that.”
Your husband called you earlier as he was leaving the precinct. He informed you that Halstead, Ruzek, and Voight wanted to watch the game tonight. Kevin called to see if it’d be okay for them to watch it at the house. Once he had confirmation that it was cool with you, he mentioned they’d be stopping for food. He offered to pick you up something as well, but you declined. You weren’t feeling well, so you didn’t have a taste for anything. Kevin asked if you were sure. After confirming, the call ended with “I love you.” Going against his better judgment, he found himself in the hot seat.
“What are you talking about, baby? How did I disrespect you?” Kevin’s senses prickled, and he braced himself for a lecture.
“So, you didn’t bring me any food? Give me some of your wings, babe,” you plead.
Not thinking it through, he let his temper get the best of him. Kevin fussed, “Did you, or did you not say you weren’t hungry? No, baby, you do this every time. You should’ve told me to get you some food. Why do you do that?”
Your eyebrows raised, “Am I not allowed to change my mind?”
“Don’t answer that,” Adam fake coughed, “loaded question.”
Ignoring his best friend, you smirked as Voight’s hand met the back of Ruzek’s head, and he whispered an apology.
“I’m not even that hungry. I just want a couple of wings and some fries.”
“Which means you want all my flats and the crispy fries. That’s the best part of the meal. If you changed your mind, there was plenty of time to call me back and ask for something. Why not do that? Am I right, or am I missing something here,” he directed the last question at the guys. They had been sitting in uncomfortable silence, trying to remain neutral. Neither Ruzek nor Halstead wanted any part of the exchange.
“Kev, give that beautiful woman some food. Always keep your wife happy,” Voight replied.
“I’m not in it, Bro,” Jay replied, while Adam held his hands up, wanting no part of the conversation.
“You should listen to Voight. Besides, I did text you.”
“No, you didn't. I had my phone on me the entire time, love.”
“Oh, so now I’m a liar? Okay, bet,” you responded, tone clipped. You sat beside Kevin with your arms crossed, giving him the silent treatment.
It had only been a few minutes when it started driving him crazy. “Here, ma. Just take some. I guess I can order some more food.”
“I’m good. Liars don’t get rewarded. Right?”
“Man, whatever,” he responded, kissing his teeth as he shook his head. “I’ll gladly enjoy my food.”
His phone signaled a text from Halstead. The men made eye contact as Jay’s facial expression signaled for Kevin to read it.
“Bro, are you crazy? Don’t argue with a pregnant woman. She’s growing your child. The least you could do is just go with it, even if she’s acting a little dramatic. It’s not her, it’s the hormones, brother 😏.”
Kevin sighed, knowing Jay was right. Not even bothering to respond, he backed out of the message. His movements halted as he noticed an unread message. Turns out you had texted him an order.
Feeling like a jerk, he locked his phone, sliding it back into his pocket. Not saying a word, he grabbed his to-go box, gently placing it in yours. His lips left a juicy kiss on your cheek, trailing up to the left temple before he spoke, “You're right, baby. I should’ve ordered extra food, just in case. Eat this, and I’ll just order some more.”
“Mm, am I right? Or did you finally see my text message? Jackass.”
He couldn’t even be mad because you were right. The doorbell sounded, leaving a confused look on your husband's face. Dumping the box back onto his lap, you turned to Voight.
“Could you help me up? Please,” you asked, voice soft and angelic.
Kevin quickly placed his food on the coffee table. “Stop playing, mama. I can get the door.” You rolled your eyes, “I’ll get it,” you snapped. Kevin stood there tilting his head to the side, burning with attitude. Voight inserted himself, “You two play nice and put this to rest. I’ll get the door.”
“Nonsense, you’re our guest,” you responded, but Voight was already up, halfway to the door.
Hank was only gone a few minutes. He returned to the family room, smiling and chuckling to himself. “Mrs. Atwater. I never want to be on your bad side. Kevin–Bro. I don't know how you'll pull yourself out of this one.”
Kevin looked at Voight quizzically. He watched as his boss laid a fatherly kiss on his wife's temple. It fully registered for him as he witnessed the man hand her an Uber Eats bag. The same logo they had all gotten their dinner from was written in big, bold letters on the receipt attached. The two of you glared at one another as you dug in and devoured a handful of fries.
The room erupted in laughter as Kevin rolled his eyes. Unlike the other men in the room, he found nothing funny.
“When did you order food?”
“The minute you called me a liar.”
Kevin pinched the bridge of his nose.
I love the hell out of this woman, but she gon’ drive me crazy.
“You cannot be serious. Let's not pretend you didn't know I’d give in and share my food. Why must you be so damn petty, woman?”
“Just hush. It’s over. Sit down, eat your food, and enjoy the game. I know I will,” you responded with a devious smirk.
Kevin groaned in irritation as he reclaimed the spot next to you. You felt his pillowy, soft lips press against your cheek, moving to that spot behind your ear. He smiled at the shiver his actions pulled from you. Fighting back a grin, you playfully rolled your eyes. With a mouthful of chicken, you responded, “Still not forgiven. You'll have to do more groveling than that, boo.”
He leaned close, whispering in your ear, “That's cute. Trust me, love. I have my ways. Daddy knows how to make it up to you. Wait until I get you alone.”
“Bro! We can hear you,” Adam complained.
“I’m beginning to wonder how this isn’t your second or third baby, Kev,” Voight teased.
Hank joked as the other two sat there, blushing like crazy. Covering your face, you awkwardly laughed with embarrassment.
“I’d get up and leave you to fend for yourself, but I can’t exactly make a run for it these days,” you ribbed Kevin.
As you were about to shrink into yourself sheepishly, the doorbell went off, and you left Kevin to deal with taunts and teases from his work family. With a firm grasp of his forearm and shoulder, you lifted off the couch. Looks of admiration rained upon you as each man watched the cute waddle you made toward the entrance.
Damn near breathless from the short distance, you took a moment to catch your breath. “Baby? Are you good?” You waved him off, telling him to calm down, and pulled open the door. Burgess and Upton’s eyes shone with excitement as they started to make a fuss over your growing baby bump. You chuckled as they questioned why you’d been the one to answer. The minute the three of you entered the living room, Burgess crossed the room, bopping Adam and Kevin upside the head as Upton chastised Halstead and Voight.
“Ladies, please. Don’t be too hard on the fellas. They all offered, but I refused,” you waved your hands. “You guys know I’m stubborn.
“As hell,” Kevin interjected.
“You want static with me so bad,” you sassed.
Kevin threw his hands up in surrender and bit his lip, slightly turned on by your attitude. Behind that sexy smirk was playfulness and something else you couldn’t quite figure out. Adam cleared his throat, “Ladies, not to be disrespectful, but can you stop giving us a hard time? We promise to behave if you just let us watch the game.”
Kim rolled her eyes, mumbling, “You’re making it very hard to like you right now. The couch is calling your name.”
Before Adam could dig himself into a deeper hole, you directed the women toward the kitchen where your peace and sanctuary awaited you.
“I’ll take this,” you said, snatching your wings from Kevin’s grasp. “I’m not sharing either,” you mocked. He nodded his head, sucking his bottom lip in. “Alright, ma. Keep it up. I’m keeping a tally.” You chuckled, turning to head further into the kitchen. You had to have the last word.
“When will you stop with these hollow, empty threats, dear sweet husband?”
Kevin’s head pushed back into the couch cushion behind him as he watched you walk away. He groaned to himself, or so he thought.
“Leave that poor woman alone, bro,” Adam joked.
“I can’t help it. That woman knows how to keep me on my toes, and I live for it.”
Every man in the living room had been hyper-focused on the game except for the man of the house. The sassiness you had given him earlier had heat simmering inside him. Your attitude always sparked a desire in him. His hands vibrated with a need to grab a handful of you. Kevin wanted nothing more than to have a moment alone with you.
Pulling himself from his lustful thoughts, he cleared his throat, “I’m going to go grab another beer. Anybody want one?”
The crew nodded “yes” in unison, eyes still fixated on the television screen. Kevin leaned against the kitchen archway, listening to the animated conversation among the women. You could feel his eyes on you, and a smile pulled at the corners of your lips.
“Is there something that you need, Mr. Atwater,” you questioned with a playful edge.
Your eyes connected with his before slowly trailing down to his bottom lip, tucked between his teeth. Hidden behind the lip bite was a sinful smirk that screamed trouble. Kim and Hailey’s stares bounced between the two of you. Clearing her throat, Kim stuttered, “You know think I hear Adam calling? Hailey, you want to join me? We’ll meet you two in the living room, yeah,” she questioned, both women not giving you time to respond.
“Traitorous heifers,” you mumbled under your breath.
You stood behind the kitchen island, arms crossed, watching Kevin make slow, calculated strides toward you. He stepped behind you, gently grabbing your waist and turning you to face him. The giant man towered over you, licking his soft, plump lips. The action alone caused you to bite back a moan. He bent lower as his mouth ghosted over your own.
“You still mad at me, baby?”
“Mad? No. Irritated, yes,” you finished, neck rolling a bit.
Kevin chuckled lightly, and in a flash, he grasped your hips, lifting you and depositing you onto the counter. Standing between your parted thighs, he leaned in and trailed his lips from your chest to the side of your neck. It slipped your mind that the house wasn’t empty, and a moan escaped your lips.
“Shhh, mamas. Don’t forget we have company.”
“Then let me down,” you gasped as his lips gently suckled your flesh.
“Not a chance in hell. Got you right where I want you now.”
“K-Kevin, seriously. You're getting me all wound up. The baby finally settled and stopped kicking me every five minutes. Don't get her started up again. Down. I want too get down,” you whined like a toddler.
“Tell me you're no longer irritated. I don't want to beef with you anymore, love. If you promise we’re good, I'll let you down,” he smirked.
“You're so irritating,” you responded playfully, rolling your eyes. “Fine, we're good!”
His hand cupped your chin as he pecked your lips continuously. It sent you into a fit of giggles. Your hand daringly wrapped around his throat to the best of its ability. Kevin groaned, pulling his plump lip between his teeth.
“I know that look. What you tryna do with a house full of guests, Mr. Atwater?”
Before your husband could reply, Voight’s voice boomed from the living room, “You two aren't as discreet as you believe yourselves to be. Atwater, halftime is over. Leave that sweet woman alone.”
“Yes sir!”
His lips landed a kiss on your forehead as he promised, “I'm taking your fine ass on a date tomorrow night.”
Kevin swept you off the counter, helping you find your footing as your swollen feet met the hardwood floors. He leaned in giving you one last sensual kiss, promising to ravish you once the two of you were alone.
Hope you all enjoyed it! Feel free to love, reblog, and leave a comment, lovelies🩵.
Tagging:
@darqchilddaydreamz @4everbrookemarie @starrynite7114 @nightlywords7 @amorestevens @sunshine-flower @boomclapxox @astoldbychae @percosim
@skyesthebomb @tbugger01 @thatbrowngruul
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𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐌𝐞
*Gif not mine credits to the owner*
• Pairing: Will Halstead x Female!Reader.
• Requested by @klovesreading: I was wondering if you could do a story where the reader is married to Will but is a detective with Jay and is really close with Jay. But one day a case goes bad and the reader gets shot and almost dies and just a lot of angst but the reader survives in the end!
• Warnings: mention of blood, drugs, gunshots, tiny bit of angst and swearing.
• Word count: 5018.
• A/N: this is my first Will Halstead fic and it’s ugly as fuck, I don’t like one bit how it turned out 😭 you can actually notice I didn’t want to write anything else but I know if I kept going it would’ve ended up being so much longer than this so here is this piece of shit. I hope you’ll like it anyway but please bear with me 😭 comment, like and reblog if you want. I love you all so much ❤️
You, Will and Jay had been good friends for as long as you could remember.
The three of you grew up in the same neighborhood, your families being friends for a very long time. They were like big brothers to you or, at least, only one of them was.
You never managed to hide the crush you had on the redhead since you were a teenager, no one missed this detail – not even Jay who never wasted time teasing you about your crush on his brother – only Will seemed to not to see it.
You spent years of your adolescence and youth pining for him, trying to suppress your feelings knowing he didn't feel the same. You tried to move on, you had some boyfriends but it always ended the same way: you leaving them because you could never completely get Will out of your head. And as time passed you had resigned yourself to it, accepting you’d never be anything other than best friends.
There was a time when the three of you drifted apart, Will had gone to medical school, Jay had joined the army and left to go overseas and you spent a lot of time training to get in the police academy.
But fate really seemed to work in wonderful ways.
You thought you’d never reconnect with the Halstead brothers again but this was proven wrong when one day you met Jay at the police academy. You were a patrol cop with about two years of experience and he had just joined the Chicago PD after returning from his mission overseas.
And just like that you learned that Will had recently returned to Chicago and started working at Med's. It was as if time had never passed for the three of you, returning to having the deep bond that had united you since childhood.
But just as you thought your love for Will had somehow passed, it was enough for you to spend just a day with him to understand those deep feelings had never faded and that Will would forever be in your heart.
As time passed though, Will realized he was starting to look at you differently, continually craving your company. He didn't know when it happened or how it happened but he found himself inexorably losing his mind for you, in a way that shouldn't have happened with his best friend.
So for an amount of time you found yourselves lusting for each other from afar without either of you growing any balls and confessing your feelings.
The turning point came when the morning after spending a night at the bar and drinking too many shots and cocktails, you woke up in Will's bed with only a sheet covering your body. You were both too drunk the night before to remember what had happened but that blurry sexual encounter didn’t only happen once.
In fact after this rendezvous, it was as if a magnetic force attracted both of you and no matter how much you both fought it, one way or another you ended up having sex at one or the other's house.
Jay's teasing was pure torture as he could see from miles away that something really had happened between the two of you.
It was Will who confessed his love first, in the grip of emotions and no longer able to pretend you were just friends with benefits for even a second. You told him it took him a long time and that you loved him madly too, and the rest was history.
So here you were several years later, married to the love of your life and living the fairy tale you've always dreamed about.
“Babe please…” you sighed, eyes half closed as his lips worked their magic on that particular spot on your neck. You had to go to work but that seemed to take a backseat as your mind was completely dazzled by the hurricane that was your husband.
His arms wrapped around your hips and his hands went down to your ass, which they squeezed and groped without any shame. That made you sigh as you wrapped your arms around his neck, threading your fingers through his soft hair and pulling it lightly.
“Fuck,” he hissed, making him lose the last bit of control he had in his body and you grinned knowing how much he liked it when you pulled his hair. Before you could say or do anything, his lips had captured yours in a deep, passionate kiss as you took slow steps towards the bed
You both fell onto the mattress, bouncing slightly and you both let out a laugh before kissing again, him on top of you. It didn't take long for both of you to undress and throw all your clothes on the floor, losing yourself inexorably in each other.
Needless to say, you arrived at Intelligence incredibly late, thanking all the angels in heaven when you realized Voight hadn't arrived yet by the time you entered the unit.
“Why were you late?” Jay asked as soon as you arrived, handing you a cup of coffee he had set aside for you. He only had to look at you for his question to be answered, the stupid smile on your lips clearer than sunlight. “Actually never mind, don't answer. You're disgusting.“
“Hey! First of all you asked and second, go talk to your brother, he’s always so insatiable,” you replied with the sole purpose of annoying the younger Halstead. You succeeded in your aim when an expression of pure disgust and horror appeared on his face.
“You make me sick I don't want to know about you having sex with my brother for God's sake!” He exclaimed as you continued to laugh out loud.
You and Jay were now detectives and members of the Intelligence Unit for quite some time and as luck would have it, Voight even assigned you as partners. It was great to work with a friendly face, to have someone to deal with all the shit that humanity presented, to be there for each other when the other felt like everything was too hard to handle.
You and Jay continued to have a little banter but that little idyllic moment was interrupted when Voight entered the unit with Sergeant Platt and from their expressions you immediately understood they didn’t bring any good news.
Badly cut drug was circulating through the Chicago streets, causing numerous overdose victims, and there was pressure to get this case solved immediately.
Something told you this case would take much longer than necessary, so you took advantage of every free moment to text Will and update him on the evolution of the situation.
Will was afraid he’d be committed to Dr. Charles' psych ward sooner or later due to the stress your and Jay's job brought him.
He couldn't help but feel the anxiety eating his stomach up every time you told him you had some kind of field operation to do. It was a horrible feeling, having no idea what was going on out there, not being able to protect you or his brother if something horrible happened.
Every single day was a prayer. He prayed you both would come home safely, he prayed he could hug you both again at the end of each shift.
He tried not to give too much weight to his paranoid thoughts and convince himself it was only his sense of protection speaking. You and Jay were more than capable of defending yourselves even in dangerous situations, Will knew that, but that didn't make it any easier.
Many times he had wondered why neither you nor Jay had opted for a safer career, so he wouldn't risk a heart attack every time you left the house. You could’ve been teachers, or cooks, coaches, anything, but no, you both had to choose one of the most dangerous professions in the world. And so he didn't have to worry about his wife or just his brother's, but both.
His heart could only bear it to a certain extent.
And that day was no different when you texted him you and Jay were on your way to question a suspect.
Knowing you were in the district would calm him down a little since you were safe there, but knowing you were both out there with the risk of dying just around the corner was pure torture.
“How much you wanna bet he’ll run away as soon as he sees us?” You asked Jay as you got out of the car and walked towards the driveway of the house where the suspect was supposed to be. He wasn't directly involved with the drugs but, after the team started the investigations, you discovered he knew who was indeed involved and both you and Jay were determined to find out who that person was.
“Nah I pass, I know for sure this will happen so let’s just get ready to do some running,” he replied and you laughed before knocking twice loudly on the door.
“Chicago PD! Open up!” You exclaimed and you and Jay waited a few moments in which there was nothing but silence.
Jay moved away from the door and went to the window to check if there was actually anyone inside and you knocked again with two more loud thuds. “Open the door we just want to talk!”.
What happened was so quickly you wouldn't have been able to tell it if someone had asked you.
The suspect you were supposed to question – a guy in his mid-twenties – opened the door but you had your guard down so you couldn’t react as quickly as you wished. You saw him hold the gun and point it at you, you had tried as quickly as possible to take your gun from its holster but before you could do so a shot had already been fired and a bullet had already passed through your abdomen.
As you said, everything happened quickly.
The bullet shot immediately triggered Jay who quickly pulled out his gun and only then realized with pure horror you had been shot.
Before he could attempt to shoot the suspect, the bastard had already run away at the speed of light even if at that moment Jay didn't care.
He ran towards you and picking you up he dragged you away from the porch of that house, not wanting to run the risk that someone else might shot at you, and he carried you behind your car.
“Hey, hey, hey it's okay, don’t move. Everything's going to be okay, you hear me Y/n? You’ll be fine,” He tried to reassure you, to no avail as you had a bullet in your abdomen and were bleeding profusely, before immediately calling for help as panic coursed through his veins.
You were still shocked even as you lifted your head for the asphalt and saw your wound bleeding more than it should have. You tried to cover it with your hands but Jay did it for you, after taking a jacket he had in the car and pressing it to the wound.
“Shit,” you hissed. The pain was excruciating, even if the adrenaline helped to dull the sensation a little. A flood of emotions overwhelmed you, panic, fear, confusion. Your eyes looked around frantically as if to try to convince your mind you were still alive, that everything was going to be okay.
“Help is on the way Y/n, please hold on okay? You’ll be fine I’m sure,” Jay continued to babble, more to himself than to you.
“It-it hurts…” you stuttered, closing your eyes for a few moments as you felt your heart pounding in your chest.
“Hey, hey, hey, don't you dare fall asleep, just hang on for a minute. Please… Everything will be fine...“ he kept repeating.
But his voice began to reach your ears far away. That warm, burning sensation coursing through your abdomen was starting to fade and the weakness was instead starting to take over you. You were fighting so hard to try and stay awake, even though you were in that state you knew this didn’t mean anything good.
“Y/n!” Suddenly you heard Jay's voice and your eyes widened. You didn't even realize you had closed them.
“Jay can you believe…” you winched “Can you believe for just one second I will live?” You continued trying to smile seeing the way Jay was looking at you. You saw him so scared and worried for other few times in your life, and if it hadn't been for the bullet, you would probably have made fun of him.
“Of course you’l live Y/n, of course I believe it. Who will make my life a living hell if you're gone?”.
You giggled at those words. “L-look at my little brother-in-law worrying about me,” you whispered, as you got weaker with each second that passed. Your eyelids felt heavy, you were struggling to keep your eyes open, or even just to speak.
Your mind was racing, a thousand thoughts were invading it, which was in stark contrast to your physical state as you struggled to even lift your hands.
But the first thought was your husband, your beloved Will. How would he react? What would’ve he said? You hated the thought of not being the first to tell him, to comfort him knowing how worried he would be.
“No of course I’m not,” Jay replied, letting out a sound of mock disdain, making you smile weakly again. “I'm just worried about Will, I don’t care about you. I know he’s going to fucking kill me once he’ll find out.”
You tried to let out a laugh but a cough stopped it.
You fought for Will above all, because you refused to leave like this, to give up right when you were living the life of your dreams with the love you had wanted for so long. But in that moment, as your strength slowly left your body as quickly as your blood spread across the asphalt, you needed him so much.
You wanted Will, you wanted him to hold your hand, you wanted him to whisper it was going to be okay and you’d be fine in no time, you wanted him to hug you and make you forget all the pain and fear that was paralyzing you, you wanted to run a hand through his hair and tell him to calm down when he’d freak out.
And you really tried to resist.
But you were tired, so exhausted, you just wanted to be able to rest a little.
And that was exactly how you let yourself slip into the darkness of oblivion, the last thought being Will's eyes.
“Y/n? Hey! Please don't play with me right now,” Jay shook your shoulders slightly when he realized you had closed your eyes. “I know you're joking, just wake up it’s not funny.”
But nothing, he didn't receive any response.
And after several attempts to wake you up he had to accept you had lost consciousness and you weren't joking at all.
He looked around waiting for the damn ambulance to arrive and when he finally saw it from afar, he thought it was a mirage, too good to be true.
Meanwhile Will was unaware of everything that was happening out there, that his world was collapsing on him without even realizing it.
“Your tests came back normal but we'll keep you here for observation for another couple of hours just to make sure everything is fine, and we'll keep you hydrated in the meantime, okay?”.
“Okay, thank you so much Dr. Halstead.”
Will gave the lady lying on the bed a smile before leaving her room and closing the door behind him. He sanitized his hands and walked over to the nurses' station where he took the patient's medical records, updating her tests and treatment.
He couldn't help but take his cell phone from his uniform pocket, noticing with disappointment there was no message from you. He let out a sigh, trying to stay calm and convince himself he was just overreacting even if anxiety was gripping his stomach.
He put down the patient’s chart he had just seen, playing with the ring on his ring finger while a nurse informed him of the arrival of another patient who was already waiting for him.
If only he had waited a few seconds longer, if only he hadn't immediately entered that room, he would’ve seen that the person who had just entered the emergency room, unconscious, was the very last person he would’ve ever wanted to see in those circumstances, the person whose safety he worried about night and day, one of the people he loved most in the world.
Jay couldn't reach you at the hospital right away since he was waiting for Voight's orders on what to do but nevertheless he didn't stop thinking about you for a second and hoping that you were still alive.
Will treated the patient who came to the hospital following a chainsaw accident while chopping wood. With the help of a nurse, he sutured and dressed the fairly deep cut on the patient's leg while in the next room Connor and the rest of the team worked to revive you from the cardiac arrest you had just fallen into.
It took about twenty minutes for him to finish treating the patient, who he recommended to return to check the wound and assigned medicines in case of infection or pain. When he left the room, he did again what he had done earlier: disinfect his hands and update the medical records.
“Woah, what happened in there?” Will asked one of the new nurses that had recently started working when his gaze fell on the now room.
He saw the state in which that room was, copious traces of blood stained the floor on which numerous bright red patches were scattered, soaked in the same blood of the victim he thought he didn't know. The defibrillator was nearby and positioned crookedly on its trolley indicating it had been used and Will hoped that whoever it was, had managed to survive.
“A gunshot victim, bad story. She went into cardiac arrest twice but they were able to revive her and Dr. Rhodes just took her to the OR,” explained the nurse who, being new, didn't know that said victim was his superior's wife.
Will nodded, looking away from the room for a second before handing her the patient’s medical record he had just seen and putting the pen back in his white coat’s pocket.
He took out his cell phone again, noting with equal disappointment that no message had arrived from you. He sighed again before putting it down and his gaze fell on that room again.
His gaze fell on the victim's objects which were in a transparent bag placed on one of the bedside tables next to the now absent bed. He didn't want to snoop but curiosity got the better of him and he thought maybe he could help track down the family.
His heart almost stopped when he recognized your clothes in that bag.
“What the fuck?” He whispered as his brain struggled to process what he was seeing. There was a police badge, among other items. Anxiety gripped his stomach in a vice, twisting it until he almost felt like he was going to throw up.
“No, no, no, no,” he babbled to himself as his eyes continued to scan the numbers on the badge again and again.
It was yours.
No, it couldn't be true, there had to be an explanation. There had to be a reason why your badge and clothes had to be there.
While his heart continued to beat voraciously in his chest, Will continued to look among those objects. There was also the gun and a cell phone, yours.
His hands began to shake as all of his worst nightmares seemed to come true. He couldn't believe it, he just couldn't, until the very end he hoped there had been some kind of misunderstanding, that it was definitely someone else but for some strange reason they had managed to take your gun, badge, cell phone and even your bloody clothes.
But it was when he saw the ring that he felt as if a train had hit him. There was no doubt it was your ring, a ring that was stained with your own blood.
Will felt as if the ground had slipped beneath his feet, for a moment so out of his mind everything seemed to happen in a blur.
He immediately ran out of that damned room, making space among his colleagues and passers-by and running like a madman towards the ORs. He looked crazy, but he didn't care, he didn't care to stop and apologize to the people he was clashing with, he just wanted to reach you.
This can't be true, please God.
He had to make sure, it couldn't really be happening.
He didn't even wash his hands before entering the OR, he simply took a surgical mask and placed it in front of his nose before entering where Connor was operating.
If Will had to describe how he felt, he would’ve said he felt like he was dying, that he felt the air stuck in his throat and his lungs collapsing. He felt his legs give way and had to lean on the doorframe leading to the OR to avoid falling on the floor.
It was you.
It was really you.
Unconscious and with a tube down your throat, but it was you.
“Why the fuck didn't anyone call me!” Will almost shouted, his hands shaking with fear and anger, holding back the desire to run to you and grab your hand since he wasn't sterile.
“Will, get out of here,” Connor replied, looking up from your open abdomen for just a second so he could look at his friend and the desperation he had on his face.
“How is she? Connor please tell me something,” the redhead begged as his eyes filled with tears.
“Will. Out. Now.”
“I'm not going anywhere until you tell me how you she is. She's my fucking wife, I'm her husband! I have to know!”.
“This is exactly why you can't stay here! I can't operate if you're here and I'm trying to save her fucking life so get out of my OR immediately!” Rhodes exclaimed loudly, feeling guilty for the tone he had used since Will was only worried about you, but thinking it was necessary. He looked up at one of the nurses and nodded at him at which he nodded back and walked over to Will, inviting him to come outside.
“Don't fucking touch me,” Will spat through gritted teeth, his eyes shining before walking out of the OR.
He slumped against the wall and slid down until he was sitting on the floor, legs bent and elbows resting on his knees while he had his hands on his face.
What the fuck happened?
It was unbelievable, he couldn't process it.
How did you go from making love that same morning to you having surgery a step from the death?
Where the fuck was Jay? Why wasn't he there?
Will let out a sob, praying with all his heart that at least his brother was okay. God only knew he wouldn't be able to survive if Jay got hurt too.
“Will!”.
But when he heard Jay's voice calling him out, a wave of relief washed away some of the anguish that had been plaguing him. Will stood up and saw Jay running towards him. He hugged him, in tears, holding him so tight his bones almost broke.
“What the hell happened Jay? Where the fuck were you? Why didn’t you call me? You okay?” Will peppered him with questions, taking a look at his brother and noticing with horror the blood staining his shirt.
“I'm fine… I-I'm so sorry Will, this shouldn't have happened I…” Jay blathered, also scared to death even though he knew what he was feeling was nothing compared to how Will must’ve going through at that moment. He told him what had happened. “How is she?”.
Will shook his head, as if to tell him he didn't know, and collapsed, letting himself go into tears full of terror, fear, fright. Jay wrapped an arm around his shoulders and helped him sit down, trying in vain to comfort him.
What would he have done if you hadn't survived? How could he go on with his life if you weren't there?
He didn't even want to imagine it, he didn't want to find answers to these questions because there actually weren't any answers. Will couldn't be without you.
He had known you since they were only a few years old, he had grown up with you, he had laughed, he had cried, he had fun with you, he had confided to you his deepest secrets, his deepest fears, he couldn't even think of not being able to do all this anymore. He remembered your friendship with so much warmth and joy before falling in love with you without even realizing it.
You made him happy, you understood him, you were his best friend, his lover, his wife, his confidant. Loving you felt like winning the lottery, marrying you was the most beautiful gift life could ever give him, he couldn't even think that all this was hanging by just a thread.
What would he have done without your laugh, your horrible jokes, without your smile, your eyes, the warmth of your hugs? How was he going to survive?
No, no, no, she’s going to be fine. She will be okay.
You were strong, one of the strongest people he had ever met in his life, there was no difficulty you wouldn't have solved, there was no obstacle you wouldn't have overcome. If anyone could do this it was you, Will knew you were going to be okay.
He jumped up, no longer able to sit still. Time seemed to stand still, passing so slowly that every minute was pure agony.
“Will…”
“Shut up Jay!” Will exclaimed loudly, not caring about other people. Jay remained silent as he stood up as well, letting his brother vent. “Where the fuck were you! You were supposed to protect her why weren't you there?!”
Will was not thinking clearly anymore because of the anger, not anger directed towards Jay – he knew it wasn’t his fault but only of the bastard that pulled the trigger.
He approached Jay and pushed him but Jay didn't react, his heart actually clenched as he saw the suffering Will was going through. He would probably have reacted the same way if his wife was fighting between life and death.
“If anything happens to her Jay… Fuck!”.
Jay raised a hand and shook his head when one of the doctors passing by tried to intervene, telling him he had everything under control.
“She’ll be fine brother. C'mon, this is Y/n, we know her, there’s nothing that woman can’t do.”
“How do you know huh?!” Will exploded, running his hands through his hair in frustration and desperation.
“I just know Will, she’ll make it, I'm sure of it,” Jay replied more calmly, moving closer to his brother. This time he was the one to hug him although Will resisted for a while, telling him to let him go. Jay didn't do it, he continued to hug him and hold him until he gave up and returned the hug.
Will cried on Jay's shoulders for the longest time, praying with every fiber of his being and whoever was up there to make you survive, to make you okay.
“I just want her back…” he whispered, not sure if Jay had heard him.
Jay helped him sit back down. “And you’ll get her back, just have a little faith. She is so strong man, do you really think she’ll leave us like this? C’mon, she has to be here and annoy us for the rest of our lives.”
Will chuckled through his tears, his eyes so blurry he couldn't make out the objects in front of him. He and Jay sat in that waiting room, waiting for hours to hear from you as he kept desperately praying.
Will sat with his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees while he continued to move a leg obsessively.
He had always tried to calm the patients' families, never fully understanding how they must really feel. But now that he knew, he felt guilty for not trying harder.
Please stay with me baby. Please just hang on for a little bit, please fight for us.
He had never understood what it felt like to be completely useless, what it felt like to be unable to do anything for the person you loved most in the world, to be unable to do anything to prevent that person from suffering.
He had always sworn to protect you, to not let anything hurt you and he felt like a failure for not being able to do this. He wished that damned bullet had hit him, that it had been him on the operating table having to fight for his life.
At every slightest noise he jumped, hoping it was Connor bringing good news but when he finally actually saw him appear in front of him, he feared it was just a hallucination.
Connor approached Will and Jay who jumped to their feet as soon as they saw him arrive.
“How did it go? Is she okay? Please tell me he's okay, Connor,” Will stammered, his heart beating so fast he thought he was going to have a massive heart attack.
“It was tough but she did well. The bullet had hit an artery and I managed to extract it but she lost a lot of blood and the next few hours will be delicate. But I'm pretty optimistic and she'll make a full recovery.”
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