dreamyaubade

[dreamyaubade]

Everyone loves trudy 🐱 commission

[dreamyaubade]

[dreamyaubade]

when i was a kid i used to cry a lot, very easily, often unprovoked. a lot of times it was because i still couldn't regulate my emotions or process any degree of trauma healthily. but other times it was a product of being head in the clouds distracted, leading to overthinking, and dwelling on sad thoughts. i remember, while not being able to describe the feeling or understand at all why i felt this way at the time, i remember feeling SO sad that i was just so different from other kids, and that no matter what i did i couldn't help it, no matter what i did to try to "fit in" and "be normal, be like other girls" (wasn't nearly as good at masking back then, not that i'm that great now either). to this day i can't help perpetually feeling the strongest desire to go back and redo basically my whole life but do it better with everything i know now. because i struggled GREATLY to just GET things. and it got me into a plethora of trouble and horrible situations. i always did things "wrong" because i never understood how to navigate the "normal" way. and i literally did feel, even as a kid very clearly, that i was curiously mentally behind for my age, like i always felt like i had the cognitive abilities and milestones of a kid a couple years younger than me. i remember clearly thinking "wow (as a 5th grader) if only i could go back and redo 3rd grade with what i know now (not so much academically but socially), i'd be great at it this time!" i feel this way even as an adult, i feel like my capabilities and accomplishments and cognitive abilities and general where i am in life and even creative ability and art skill too, is like a person in their early twenties rather than late twenties. and to this day others still "sense" it on me and treat me accordingly (like i need extra help, like i'm not that smart, like i'm an alien, like i'm literally a kid), even if they don't consciously realize they're doing it. i feel incredibly "behind" when i compare myself to others in their late twenties. i still cry if i dwell on my past too much. i wish i could go back and defend and stick up for and teach and help myself when i needed it the most because no one was equipped to give me the help i needed except for the version of me that i am now. the cruel irony.

[dreamyaubade]

mentally, i am here ..,

[source: tamagotchi collectors reddit]

[dreamyaubade]

it feels like bluesky is my main platform for yapping except when i'm feeling shy and i come here lol

[dreamyaubade]

Fashion Dogz (2008)

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[dreamyaubade]

i think theres no ugly art style you just gotta be confident in what you create

[dreamyaubade]

Alolan Vulpix (2018) - Ultra Prism Illustrator: Tomokazu Komiya

[dreamyaubade]

Every man I encounter is like a punishment from god

[dreamyaubade]

STARDEW VALLEY ; 03

[dreamyaubade]

it really scares me when girls on here are married. they’ll be like my husband and i’m like ? that’s not funny... stop it...

[dreamyaubade]

[dreamyaubade]

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

[dreamyaubade]

this is the funniest intro to any johnny bravo episode

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[dreamyaubade]

Pokémon Cooking book