drew61bhoy

[drew61bhoy]

[drew61bhoy]

From despair to the high life 🇮🇪⚽🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[drew61bhoy]

Zombies walk in ipox

[drew61bhoy]

Back to back champions 🇮🇪🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿⚽💚

[drew61bhoy]

A Irish 🇮🇪 maid

[drew61bhoy]

Book on how to understand woman 😂😅🤣

[drew61bhoy]

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[drew61bhoy]

PADDY SAY,S TO MICK ; PEOPLE THINK WE ARE THICK BUT I JUST OUT SMARTED A SCAMMER ONLINE WHO ASKED FOR MY BANK DETAIL,S I GAVE THEM MY WIFES BANK DETAIL,S SO MICK REPLIES ; BUT YOU HAVE A JOINT ACCOUNT WITH YOUR WIFE 🤪🤣😅😂

[drew61bhoy]

So, Wee Mary comes back in from taking her wee brother Jimmy to Chapel. She slams the door and her mum says, “What’s wrong Mary, you look upset.” Mary replies, “ That’s it, I am so embarrassed and I am never taking him to Chapel again!” Her mum says, “Why, what happened this time?” Mary replies, “You know it was a vigil Mass today.” “Yes, says her mum. “Well, they dimmed all the lights, everyone went quiet and the altar boys came up the aisle holding candles.” ”That sounds lovely Mary, so what’s the problem.” Mary says points at her brother, wee Jimmy, and says, ”HE started singing Happy Birthday to you!!” I’ll get my coat....😂😅🤣

[drew61bhoy]

DEAR NEIGHBOR: Hi, George. This is Richard, next door. I've a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. At least I'm telling you in this text. I can't live with myself a minute longer without your knowing about this. The truth is, when you're not around, I've been sharing your wife, day and night. Probably much more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently. I know that's no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt & hope you'll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you. Richard. NEIGHBOR'S RESPONSE: George, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door, and shot Richard dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. George then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Richard. SECOND TEXT MESSAGE: Hi, George. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned Spell-Check had changed "wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, huh? It'll be the death of us all.!!! 😂😂😂

[drew61bhoy]

A GLESCA WEAN by Cathleen Sweeney Ah wis born an bred in Glesca, Aye, Glesca is ma hame, Bein' brought up in a tenement Made me a typical wean. We didnae hiv much money So ma mammy went oot tae work An' when Ah hid oan ma Sunday claes Ah dareny play in the durt. Ah didnae hiv very many toys Like the weans a, hiv the day, Ma pals were happy girls an, boys Wi lots o' games tae play. We played at ,cowboys an, indians, We played at ,hide an, seek, , When we counted tae 100 nice an, fast An' ye wirnae allowed tae peek. Then we,d tie some string through two tin cans An' we,d put them oan oor feet An' stomp like something frae outer space Right up an, doon oor street. There wis ,doublers, ,ropes, an kick the can, We played 'rounders, roon the back Then we'd sit oan toap o' the midden Tellin' ghost stories till it goat dark. We'd walk tae the Pictures Matinee Oan a Setterday afternoon, Where a man came oot tae make us a'sing An wave hankies in time tae the tune. We booed an, cheered at the Westerns, The Three Stoogies made us a, laugh, Then came the cartoons - Mickey Mouse an, Popeye - Tae make up the hours an, a half We ate toffee apples an,candy cakes An chewed oan liquorice sticks, Soor plooms that pul't yir jaws right in, Dry wafers - a penny for six. We read the Beano an, Dandy, Oor Wullie an' The Broons, We even hid back court concerts, Tap dancin, tae popular tunes. In this rhyme Ah,ve tried tae turn back the clock Tae aboot forty-odd years ago, Tae paint a picture o, whit life wis like For a wean in old Glasgow. When there wisnae a word like junkie An naebody that Ah knew sniffed glue, Today Ah jist cannae help thinkin,- Whit,s happenin,tae Glesca weans noo?🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[drew61bhoy]

So, Auld Rab dies and leaves a £30,000 assurance policy in his will specifically for an elaborate funeral. As the last attenders leave, Rab’s wife Rose turns to her oldest friend Sadie and says, “Well, I’m sure Rab would be pleased.” “I’m sure you’re right,” replies Sadie, who leans in close and lowers her voice to a whisper. “Tell me, how much did it really cost?” “All of it?” says Rose. “Thirty thousand pounds.” “Naw!” exclaims Sadie. “I mean, it was very nice, but really… £30,000?!” Rose nods and continues. “The funeral was £3000." "I donated £500 to the church for the priest’s services." "The food and drinks were another £500." "And, the remaining £26,000 went towards the memorial stone.” "Sadie .stares at her friend and says, "£26,000 for a memorial stone? Exactly how big is it?” Rose holds out her hand and says, “Four carats, nice isn't it?" I'll get my coat....🤣😅😂

[drew61bhoy]

This is alarming Beer contains female hormones ! Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones ! Last month, Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schoonersof beer within a one (1) hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men:- 1) Argued over nothing. 2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong. 3) Gained weight. 4) Talked excessively without making sense. 5) Became overly emotional 6) Couldn't drive. 7) Failed to think rationally, and 😎 Had to sit down while urinating. No further testing was considered necessary !

[drew61bhoy]

A NUN DECIDED TO HELP FEED AND BATHE A HOMELESS MAN, SO AFTER HIS MEAL SHE WAS WASHING HIM AND ASKED HIM WHAT,S THAT BETWEEN YOUR LEG,S, SO HE KNEW NUN,S LED A SHELTERED LIFE SO HE REPLIED ; GOD GAVE ME A SWAN AND IT,S EGG,S TO LOOK AFTER . SO A FEW HOURS LATER THE GUY WOKE UP IN THE E,R OF THE LOCAL HOSPITAL IN SEVERE PAIN AND ASKED ; WHAT HAPPENED, SO THE NUN REPLIED ; I WAS STROKING YOUR SWAN AND IT SPAT ON ME SO I RUNG IT,S NECK AND SMASHED IT,S EGG,S 😢

[drew61bhoy]

TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, "GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.' THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, 'YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!' 'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?' 'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.' HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.' 'A WITCH ??. . WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?' 'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW..... TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER! ' 😂😅🤣