drhouseoncesaid

[drhouseoncesaid]

21

House: Chase. Did you know about this woman? What she does? Chase: I met her at some parties, yeah. House: I wouldn’t have tortured you if I knew you liked it. 

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20

House: The eyes can mislead, the smile can lie, but the shoes always tell the truth. Wilson: They were Prada. It means she has good taste. House: They were not Prada. You wouldn’t know Prada if one stepped on your scrotum. Wilson: Okay, well, they were nice, pointy… House: Exactly, they were stylish, and very painful to wear. Only an incredibly shallow and insecure woman would rather be in pain all day then wear a decent looking, comfortable shoe, and that’s exactly the type I don’t need around here. Wilson: No, someone who can handle a lot of pain is exactly the type you do need.

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19

Wilson: I’ve got no kids, my marriage sucks; I’ve only got two things that work for me: this job and this stupid, screwed-up friendship, and neither mattered enough to you to give one lousy speech. House: They mattered. If I could do it all again – Wilson: You’d do the same thing. Well, you’ll be gone soon, too.

[drhouseoncesaid]

18

House: Are you comparing me to God? I mean, that’s great, but just so you know, I’ve never made a tree. Cameron: I thank you because it means something to me. To be grateful for what I receive. House: You are the most naïve atheist I’ve ever met.

[drhouseoncesaid]

17

House: Figures you’d try and come up with a solution where no one gets hurt. The problem is, the world doesn’t work that way just ‘cause you want it to. Cameron: Figures you’d stall and refuse to deal with the issue. Problem is, the world doesn’t go away just because you want it to.

[drhouseoncesaid]

16

House: Problem is, if I can’t trust you, I can’t trust your statement that I can trust you. But thanks anyway, you’ve been a big help.

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15

Cameron: People… dismiss me. Because I’m a woman, because I’m pretty, because I’m not aggressive. My opinions shouldn’t be rejected just because people don’t like me. House: They like you. Everyone likes you. Cameron: Do you? I have to know. House: No. Cameron: Okay.

[drhouseoncesaid]

14

Wilson: Even I don’t like you. House: You know, words can hurt!

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13

Wilson: I’ve got the oncology thing! I-I…The rectal cancer lecture, they booked me a year ago! I-I-I-I-I can’t get out, there’s no way out! House: Fine. I’ll ask one of my other friends... What, you’re saying I’ve only got one friend? Wilson: Uh, and who…? House: Kevin, in Bookkeeping. Wilson: Okay, well first of all, his name’s Carl. House: I call him Kevin. It’s a secret “friendship club” name.

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12

Cuddy: It’s not just your leg. You wanna get high! You’re doing what, 80 mg a day? House: Oh, that’s way too much! Moderation is the key. Unless there’s pain. Cuddy: It’s double what you were taking when I hired you. House: ‘Cause you’re twice as annoying.

[drhouseoncesaid]

11

Wilson: You really don’t need to know everything about everybody. House: I don’t need to watch the OC, but it makes me happy.

[drhouseoncesaid]

10

Foreman: It’s that simple? I should just ignore the mockery and abuse? House: Oh, how do I abuse you? Foreman: How do you not? If I make a mistake – House: I hold you accountable, so what? Foreman: Dr. Hamilton forgives. He’s capable of moving on. House: That is not what he does! Foreman: I screwed up his case, he told me – House: He never said you were forgiven. I was there, he said it wasn’t your fault. Foreman: So? House: So, it was. You took a chance, you did something great. You were wrong, but it was still great. You should feel great that it was great. You should feel like crap that it was wrong. That’s the difference between him and me. He thinks you do your job, and what will be, will be. I think that what I do and what you do matters. He sleeps better at night. He shouldn’t.

[drhouseoncesaid]

9

Wilson: “The healer with his magic powers… I could rub his gentle brow for hours… His manly chest, his stubble jaw, everything about him leaves me raw-” House: Psych ward’s upstairs. Wilson: “-with joy. Oh House, your very name… will never leave this girl the same.” Not bad for an eighty-two year old. She asked me to give that to her true love. House: What can I say, chicks with no teeth turn me on. Wilson: That’s… fairly disgusting. House: And that’s ageism.

[drhouseoncesaid]

8

Wilson: You can be a real jerk sometimes, you know that? House: Yeah. And you’re the good guy. Wilson: At least I try. House: As long as you’re trying to be good, you can do whatever you want. Wilson: And as long as you’re not trying, you can say whatever you want. House: So between us, we can do anything. We can rule the world!

[drhouseoncesaid]

7

House: You love everybody. That's your pathology.

[drhouseoncesaid]

6

Cameron: Happy birthday. House: OK… whose?

[drhouseoncesaid]

5

House: What the hell are those? Cameron: Candy canes. House: Candy *canes*? Are you mocking me? Cameron: No! It’s Christmas and, and I, I, I thought – House: Relax. It’s a joke.