dropthelights

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[dropthelights]

What even is this

How does one friend another? I don't understand the concept of being accepted but I understand judgement. Ever since I was a little girl with severe ADHD I've understood judgement.

Over time I began to understand what they were judging, my mental health. It affects both my behaviour and personality immensely. Knowing I'm judged based upon these two things, one of which I can't change has mentally exhausted me. Trying to make friends and have them understand who I am as a person has always been a struggle.

I don't know how to make friends without feeling extremely judged, nervous, and anxious. What do I do..?

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Livingwithborderline

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Magnus Bane (8/∞)

→ The High Warlock of Brooklyn

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“To The Wonder”.

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#whenever I look at this scene #I’ll smile along with them #look how happy and carefree they are #my babies

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like if you were long-term abused and all you got out of it was a mental illness and a life long trauma

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boy oh boy could I use a hot steamy cup of Mental Stability™

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Very often I don’t feel like I’m there, or here, or anywhere.

Mark Strand, from an interview taken by Adam Fitzgerald (via despina)

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things i hate about bpd

- your mood is not the only thing that will change in one sec, your decisions will too.

- the pain you feel in your chest whenever you are thinking or feeling something too much.

- the ability to show physical symptoms to every thing you feel too intensely.

- you hate to be alone, but at the same time you’re isolating from all of your friends.

- suddenly you just get tired of someone you love a lot.

- but now you’re not tired of them anymore and you need them to live and how can you stay away from them for just one second? impossible.

- you just don’t understand how there’s so much anger in you.

- headaches.

- stomach ache.

- the world is not real sometimes.

- feeling like you will lose control and getting suffocated by it.

- seeing a knife and thinking about cutting, seeing a bridge and thinking about jumping, seeing a car and thinking about being run over.

- feeling intensely two things at the same time.

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Do you ever feel like you’re too much. When I’m happy I’m too happy. When I’m sad I’m too sad. When I’m in love I’m too in love. Can my heart and brain just chill for a second. Feeling emotions so intensely is exhausting.

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my anger scares me because I’m such a gentle and calm person usually but when I get angry that all disappears

I swear I’m not a bad person

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me right after i was diagnosed: i'm fine!! no one has to know that i'm sick!!

me now after 4 years: hi nice to meet you my name is Hella Chronically Ill and my pain is at a six today so don't fuck with me

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