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Technoblade: Is there actually even anyone named Sheldon in real life?

Wilbur: My class turtle from 6th grade

Technoblade: That is a turtle

Wilbur: When God sings with his creations, will a turtle not be part of the choir?

Technoblade:

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Ranboo: Why are you here?

Tommy: You texted and said Tubbo got hurt. So I bought a watermelon

Ranboo: Why?

Tommy: Tubbo loves watermelon

Tubbo: [hugging the watermelon crying]

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Tommy: Thank you for letting me stay with you, this has been the best week of my life; I haven’t even died once.

Puffy: Run that by me again?

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Wilbur, running for his life: This is entirely your fault.

Tommy, also running: How is it my fault?

Wilbur: Because if it’s not your fault then it’s mine and that can’t be right.

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Wilbur: I found that I have been happier ever since I changed from drinking coffee in the morning to orange juice

Wilbur: Doctors say it's the vitamin-C, I personaly think it's the vodka.

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:grabs you: come and join !! it’s a mcyt and mcyt fic focused, but all writers are welcome; there’s categories for all!

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Tommy: What happens if I press the gas and the break at the same time?

Wilbur: The car takes a screenshot! ^-^

Phil: Pull over right now.

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Ranboo: I was that kid who played with worms because I didn't have human friends

Wilbur: You are still that kid 😒

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Techno: Fuck! I fell in a hole.

Ranboo, no hesitation: That seems like a whole lot of trouble, Technoblade.

Techno:

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Bad: Stop saying ‘I wish’, and start saying ‘I will’.

Tommy: I will my family still loved me.

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Tubbo: I wanna put a poison dart frog in my mouth. they’re so… gummy. Chomp Chomp.

Ranboo: You’re mentally ill

Tubbo: Yes

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Ranboo: I mean, to be frank I-

Tubbo: Who the fuck is Frank and why do you want to be him.

Ranboo: …

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Tommy: How much does the earth cost? I’m gonna buy the earth.

Phil:

Techno:

Wilbur:

Wilbur: And what will you do? As leader of earth?

Tommy: Take all the strongest people in the world, and make them beat up the people that don’t like me.

Techno: Nice.

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Someone: Hey can I get your number?

Techno, visibly texting: I don’t have a phone.

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Technoblade: If I killed someone, would you rat me out?

Wilbur: No. But I would use it against you everyday.

Technoblade:

Wilbur: “Are you going to take the rubbish out today or am I making a phone call?” type stuff.

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Wilbur: Oh to float in a flooded park like that one painting of Ophelia in the swamp…

Technoblade: Life goals.

Tommy: Why the fuck are you both like this

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Wilbur: How dare you. I am never a simp.

Wilbur: I’m just horny for skin contact.

Technoblade:

Technoblade: That. That’s just touch starvation.