dtmijfeu

[dtmijfeu]

The problem with getting popsicles is then you have popsicles in the house and every time you feel bad (mentally, physically,) you think “well why shouldn’t I have a popsicle about it”

[dtmijfeu]

The problem with having a child with an attorney that has spoken to the child like an adult since birth is that she's 4 years old and she's negotiating the order in which we're going to complete tasks as a family to best suit her idea of an ideal day.

[dtmijfeu]

this pride month i want everyone to consider the benefits of abolishing the sex binary

[dtmijfeu]

we need to invent a spray tan-style treatment but instead of spraying you with tanning stuff it sprays you with heavy duty spf. and it lasts a few weeks so that way you can just get your spf spray a few times a summer instead of having to spend 10 minutes every day getting sticky and oily and making sure the sunscreen is all rubbed in. how do i get on shark tank

[dtmijfeu]

Arugula is some crap they found on the ground for real

[dtmijfeu]

It will get cold again eventually. The summer will not last forever. I’m not doomed to live in this unbearable heat for all eternity. <- said while gripping the countertop so hard that the tile is starting to crack

[dtmijfeu]

Alone From Night to Night Ya Find Me

[dtmijfeu]

this guy really always had something to say about almost everything and nearly all of it is still completely relevant almost 200 years later. fascinating stuff.

[dtmijfeu]

having ocs is so fucked .... i miss them so bad but im the guy who has to create new content. but im sleepy

[dtmijfeu]

having ocs is so fucked .... i miss them so bad but im the guy who has to create new content. but im sleepy

[dtmijfeu]

Flopped down on the floor next to one of the cats and he was like so surprised like woah you do that too that’s so crazy that we can do things that the other does. I’m gonna try to use your phone now why is my furious swiping not making the buttons work

[dtmijfeu]

I'm in your house picking your shy, uptight man like a lock.

[dtmijfeu]

obsessed with this photo my friend took of me simply talking & doing my job but it looks like i'm about to be killed by the thing

[dtmijfeu]

[dtmijfeu]

[dtmijfeu]

at literally any given moment my life could be improved by having a giant beverage. Like even if I already have one maybe I need another for later.

[dtmijfeu]

sorry bro I didn't hear your bit I got a little distracted reflecting upon my inadequacies