duke-nitro - Tumblr blog

[duke-nitro]

i know that "unalive" is part of larger worrying trend of self censorship but if you really are in a situtation where you have to avoid the words "die" or "kill" the english language already has centuries worth of much better euphemisms. the iconic and perennial "six feet under"? the lovely imagery of "pushing up daisies"? "shuffle off this mortal coil"????? literally anything from the monty python dead parrot bit???? you have so many options. please try to be more creative at least

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big things happening in england

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does anyone have the gamer dance gif because i need it

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i want to masturbate but i cant afford the name brand stuff so im always jakeing off and busting a rut and shit

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Happy International Museums Day to the following people:

The guy who called me the Whore of Babylon for teaching kids about Ancient Egypt as I stood there and nodded.

The woman who was deeply incensed that staff wouldn't open the cases so she could touch the organic objects.

The one guy who made me translate hieroglyphs on a stele for him, then was mad because it didn't say what he wanted it to say, and reported me for 'lying' to the public.

The parents who objected to the taxidermied animals having taxidermied genitalia because it was unseemly.

Those kids on a school trip who got on the floor in front of a mummy and started chanting 'we worship Ra' as their teacher desperately tried to get them to leave.

That one guy who...uh...really liked geodes. No, they were not a special interest. He really, really liked geodes.

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I was at The Adventure Zone VS Great Gatsby, and I gotta ask: where on earth is anyone posting the cosplays they did? There were so many I couldn't get a good look at bc they were on the other side of the room

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Have you seen the new show? It's on Tubu. It's literally on Heebee. It's on Poodee with ads. It's literally on Dippy. You can probably find it on Weeno. Dude it's on Gumpy. It's a Pheebo original. It's on Poob. You can watch it on Poob. You can go to Poob and watch it. Log onto Poob right now. Go to Poob. Dive into Poob. You can Poob it. It's on Poob. Poob has it for you. Poob has it for you.

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I know it’s not hard to point out reactionaries hypocrisy when it comes to like safe spaces or hug boxes or whatever but genuinely how much of an echo chamber do you have to exist in for you to think this is a reasonable thing to say

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they never tell you abt The Skeleton's Curse (bone pain)

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frog in a pot slowly being raised to boiling: awawawa it's so warm in here !! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) i love it here yay !! i'm never leaving my favorite warm pot it's just so cozy

[duke-nitro]

last night my partner held a somber little passover seder to show me what it’s about and when they got to the part where they were supposed to open the door for elijah they paused, frowned, and said “oh. huh. there is a clown.” and I looked out. and sure enough. there was a clown.

[duke-nitro]

i hate it when game devs put “fixed several issues” in patch notes 

no. tell me what you fixed. i wanna know what the glitch was.

you know those patch notes that are like “fixed an issue where if the player sat in a bush for too long, they’d become the size of a skyscraper” 

i wanna read those. tell me those. 

[duke-nitro]

DIFFERENT WOMEN'S BODY TYPES SHOULD BE REPRESENTED NOT BECAUSE YOU FIND THEM HOT OR SEXY OR WANT THEM TO STEP ON YOU BUT BECAUSE THEYRE NORMAL RAAAAAH RAAAAAAAAAH I DONT CARE THAT YOU WANT A BUFF WOMAN TO THROW YOU SHUT UPPPPPP RAAAAAAAAAHHHH

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