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[dumb-and-sane]

John B

JJ x Reader, John B x Reader  (you can decide which one wins out, I guess)

Summary: You go back to the chateau for the first time since your boyfriend John B has been lost at sea, though it seems you’re not the only one there.

A/N: this plays somewhere between season 1 and 2

For anyone else nothing about the chateau would have looked out of the ordinary. But you noticed all the differences.

There was none of the usual cackling coming from the coop. The chickens were gone. There were no empty beer bottles scattered around the porch, where you and your friends used to hang out and drink. There was no one lying in the hammock, where you and John B used to cuddle up some nights to watch the stars. 

This place carried so many memories and yet it felt so unfamiliar with no one living here anymore. It was weird to be back.

About three weeks had passed since John B, your boyfriend, and Sarah got lost at sea. What had happened to them, nobody knew. Their bodies weren't found and you didn’t want to believe they were dead, but then again it seemed like everyone else did. 

You hadn’t dared to go anywhere near the chateau since the incident but now you felt like you couldn’t stay away any longer.

You made your way to the front door and slowly pushed it open. Apparently, you weren’t the only one who couldn’t stay away. Someone was already sitting in the middle of the living room floor, slouched against the couch.

“JJ?” you asked surprised, “what are you doing here?”

The blond boy lazily lifted his head to look at you. He didn’t seem startled by your presence at all. His hair was disheveled. His eyes were red. Maybe from smoking, maybe from crying, maybe from both. ”What are you doing here?“ he returned.

“I don’t know.” Looking for John B, is what you almost had wanted to say, but that felt ridiculous to admit. You had known he wouldn’t be here. Still some part of you had hoped that you'd walk through the door and find him dozing on the couch. 

And looking at JJ’s expression you thought that maybe he had hoped that too.

You walked over and sank down next to him. You noticed him staring down to his hands, where he held a familiar a book.

“Hey, that’s the photo album I made John B for his 13th birthday. Where did you find that?”

You weren’t quite sure why you attempted conversation now. You and JJ hadn’t talked a lot the last couple of weeks. Even though, in your own ways, you had still managed to be there for each other. You let him crash on your couch whenever he knocked at your door in the middle of the night, no questions asked. And he’d share his blunt with you when you’d silently sit together on your front steps the next morning. Where he spent the rest of his time you didn’t know, and you’d never asked. Perhaps this wasn’t the first time he visited the chateau.

You brought your attention back to the album, ignoring the fact that JJ hadn’t answered you. The opened page showed a picture of JJ, John B and you at the beach, each of you holding a surfboard. “I remember that day. I’d just gotten my first board and you guys were trying to teach me how to surf,” you reminisced, “I sucked at first. I think John B got a bit frustrated with me. I can still see the face he made though, when, one day, I suddenly didn’t suck anymore because you’d been giving me extra lessons at night.” The memory made you smile. John B couldn’t believe his eyes when you’d managed to actually beat him in a friendly surfing competition.

You reached out, carefully nudging JJ’s hand away to flip to the next page. 

This book held so many fond memories. Bonfires. Boating trips. Birthday Parties.

You stopped at every single picture, commenting on the story behind it, and after a couple of pictures, JJ joined in. You and JJ laughed at some of them but in the end - when you’d gotten to the last page and closed the book - you cried. Because those were just memories, and in reality John B wasn’t actually here.

You fell back into what’s recently become your usual routine: Sitting next to each other in silence, while waiting for the tears to dry. After a while you retracted your head from JJ’s shoulder and inspected his face. 

Your gaze traveled down the wet streaks on his cheeks - from his slightly puffy eyes, where the tears had dropped, down to the corners of his mouth, where they had been caught. Then your eyes lingered on his lips. They were chapped as always - how often had you told JJ to try using chapstick? - but for some reason you thought they would feel soft regardless. They probably were just like JJ in that way; seemingly rough on the outside but once you got closer you’d feel the actual tenderness.

JJ turned his head towards you, making you snap out of your thoughts. 

You’d almost forgotten: What had happened. Why you where here. John B. 

Then again, there was really no such thing as forgetting John B.

“I miss him,” you said. And then you kissed JJ. 

You kissed him because you missed John B. And because JJ might have been the only person who missed him as much as you did.

He was surprised at first, freezing for just a second before reciprocating, his hand coming up to cup the side of your face. You had been right, his lips were soft.

The kiss felt way too short, only lasting for a moment, before you came back to your senses and gently pulled away.

“JJ…” you whispered, “I…This…” Guilt. You were filled with overwhelming guilt. You loved John B. You loved JJ too. They both had been your best friends for as long as you remembered. But John B was your boyfriend, even if he wasn’t here right now, even if he never returned.

“I know,” JJ just said. His hand fell off your cheek, brushing against your skin a last time, before he got up and walked out the door.

[dumb-and-sane]

you’re writing is amazing dude i’m excited to read more of your jj stuff

Aww thank you 🥺 this means so much to me ❤️❤️

[dumb-and-sane]

I exist

JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: JJ knocks at your door after an incident with Luke. aka you’re depressed and JJ’s father is abusive. inspired by i exist, i exist, i exist by flatsound

Warnings: depression, anxiety, mentions of physical abuse/violence and alcoholism

A/N:  idk if anyone will actually want to read this. i wrote this a while ago and idk how to feel about it. it’s a bit depressing

You were lying in your bed. Again. You hadn’t left it all day.

Some days it seemed like you would never leave it again, like you would grow old in here, and one day you would just fall asleep in here and never wake up again. But until then you would wake up in this bed and then you would stay in this bed until you fell asleep again, just so you could wake up in it again. It was a vicious cycle.

And since you lived alone there was no one to break you out of it – except, maybe, the soft knocks on your front door. You didn’t even hear them at first but soon they became louder, almost desperate, and it was impossible not to notice.

Maybe it was the neighbors? If you didn’t react they would hopefully leave and let you carry on with staring at the ceiling in peace.

And just as you thought that, the thumps stopped. You waited for them to pick up again and let out a sigh of relief when they didn’t. What could they have possibly wanted though? It was already kind of late for anyone to be showing up at your house.

Curiosity getting the better of you, you managed to get up for what might as well have been the first time today and dragged yourself downstairs. You expected whoever had been there to be long gone but when you opened the door you found a blond boy silently sitting on the steps, face in his hands.

“JJ?” you asked. There was no power behind your voice and you didn’t know whether that was because you were trying to sound soft or because there was barely any life left inside of you.

JJ lifted his head, turning around to face you, and you immediately noticed the red bruises all over his face.

Luke.

“I need a place to stay.” His voice was shaking, his eyes were puffy, you could tell he had been crying and it was obvious he was trying really hard to not start again and break down on your porch.

He broke down in your hallway instead.

That’s how far he made it when you motioned him inside before his knees gave out beneath him and he had to lean against the wall for support. You quietly sunk down next to him, putting an arm around him, as he sat there, sobbing.

He managed to press out a single sentence while trying to catch his breath through the tears, “I almost killed him.”

There was a heavy pause, none of you saying a thing, before JJ calmed down enough to continue. The sobs slowly stopped but the tears continued flowing as JJ’s body was shaking against yours.

“And I almost regret not doing it because I know he would kill me if he had the chance. It’s not as if he hasn’t tried it already… He fucking hates me. Guess he always has, but ever since he’s started drinking it’s-… he’s…not holding back anymore.” His breath hitched again. “I don’t even blame him. I’m a fuck up. How could anyone love me anyway?”

“Hey, that’s not true.” Your voice was firm. You despised JJ’s father and the things he did to him but you didn’t actually think that he really hated his son – not that it changed a thing, there was no excuse for his behavior. “Some people will say anything while drunk… but the truth is, it’s a cry for help. Your dad… he obviously has problems, he needs help. He just doesn’t know how to ask for it.” Maybe that was something that you and Luke actually had in common. 

“He’s messed up.” You knew because you were as well. “But you’re not hard to love, JJ… I… I love you.”

The confession surprised you as much as JJ. You hadn’t been sure if you were even capable of feelings like love, or any feelings for that matter. Sometimes you just felt so numb, like you were nothing but an empty shell.

But then again, there were those other times where you were actually capable of feeling a single emotion: fear. It was overwhelming. The voices in your head would start screaming, the walls were caving in and everything came crashing down at once, making you suffocate under the weight. And you were scared you were going to die right then and there.

And because you didn’t want to feel scared you didn’t leave the house to not feel overwhelmed and because you didn’t leave the house you started feeling numb again. Another vicious cycle.

But right now there was no numbness and there was no fear, right now as you held JJ close to you, all you felt was love. And the warm tears rolling down your cheeks. They were neither sad no happy tears, they were just tears. A sign of emotion, a sign that you weren’t just a shell, a sign that you were capable of feelings like love.

“I love you, JJ.” You repeated as you leaned over to kiss him on the forehead before resting your head on his shoulder. You didn’t expect an answer, this was enough.

“Can we stay like that for a while?”

“Yeah.”

[dumb-and-sane]

Stranded

JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: You and JJ get stuck on a small sandbank in the middle of the ocean and you get stung by a jellyfish.

A/N: Don’t pee on a jellyfish sting, it doesn’t actually help lol

“Never have I ever had sex on a beach before,” JJ said, bringing his freshly opened beer bottle to his lips.

“You know that’s not how Never have I ever works, right?” You gave him a pointed look. “You’re supposed to say something that others have done but you yourself haven’t. You’re losing that way.”

“Can’t see how I’m losing by getting to drink beer.” He took another sip. “Playing with just two people is pretty pointless anyway.”

You sighed, annoyed. “Ok, how about this one? Never have I ever forgotten to refuel the boat before taking my friend to a sandbank in the middle of the ocean.”

JJ rolled his eyes at you but wordlessly drank from his bottle once again. The midday sun was burning down on you, only a single palm tree on the small patch of land providing you with some shade. You weren’t sure how long you’d been here already – three hours, maybe four -  but you knew you’d have to stay even longer as there was no way you’d get of this island without some gas for the boat.

“If you want someone to blame, blame John B,” JJ spoke up absent-mindedly, his fingers painting patterns in the sand, “I filled up the tank two days ago. Didn’t think he’d taken her out since then. And he didn’t tell me.”

“Well, it’s his boat, you know? …Not like it matters now.” Playing the blame game definitely wouldn’t solve your problem.

You stared out at the ocean for a while before JJ attempted to lighten the mood by changing the topic. “Hey, you forgot to drink before. Don’t think I’m letting you off the hook.”

“No, I didn’t?” you said confused, “When?”

“Sex on the beach?” he clarified but you just stared at him, “…you’ve never done it on the beach before?” He seemed genuinely surprised, shocked even. As if never having done it on the beach was totally unthinkable for someone living all their life near one.

“There’s just some places of my body that I don’t necessarily need sand in, okay? Don’t act like I’m missing out.”

“But you are missing out,” he insisted, “Sure, the sand isn’t the greatest but that’s why you’re so close to the ocean – you can wash it off afterwards.”

“Not convinced.”

“One day you’ll see that I was right.”

A comfortable silence washed over you. You lied down on the sand and JJ did the same, watching the clouds slowly wandering across the sky. Then the grumbling of JJ’s stomach disturbed the peacefulness. 

You propped yourself up on your elbows and turned towards JJ. “There’s still some food in the cooler on the boat. You want me to get it?” Not even waiting for an answer you got up on your feet and wiped the sand off your body.

“You mean watermelon? That barely counts as food.” He groggily sat up, giving you a look of judgement.

“Hey, at least I brought something to eat,” you returned, already wading into the ocean towards the boat, the water refreshing your legs. “Ahh, the this is nice... Care for a swim, J- ouch, shit!”

You flinched in pain, your left foot, that something had touched just now, shooting up reflexively.

“What’s wrong?” JJ came hurrying towards you.

“I think I got stung by a jellyfish,” you winced as you dragged yourself to the shore, “Oh my god, it’s fucking huge.” A swollen, purple bruise took up almost the entirety of your foot

“Heard that one before,” JJ joked, while laying your arm around his shoulder to support you on the way back to your sitting spot under the palm tree, “context was far more pleasant though.”

You groaned as you flopped down on the sand, not sure whether it was because of JJ’s comment, the pulsing pain in your foot or because of what you were going to say next.

You looked JJ in the eyes, dead serious, “I need you to pee on my foot.”

“What?” He stared back at you, not sure he had heard correctly.

“I need you to pee on my foot,” you repeated, “It’s supposed to help with jellyfish stings.”

“No way I’m peeing on your foot,” he protested, “Do it yourself.”

“I kinda thought you were at least somewhat familiar with the female anatomy, all things considered, but that’s not going to work,” you pointed out. “I promise I won’t look, okay?” 

“I’m not worried about you staring at my dick, Y/N! I’ve got nothing to hide!”

“Then what are you worried about?” You knit your brows in thought, “Are you… are you worried you’ll like it?” You were teasing, obviously – or well, you sure hoped JJ didn’t have some piss fetish going on.

“What? No!” he was quick to exclaim, “It’s just fucking weird. I’m not doing that.”

You were about to open your mouth again in another attempt to convince him when he cut you off. “I have a better idea.” 

You watched him take off towards the boat.

“Hey, don’t get stung, okay?” you shouted after him but he was already jumping on board by that point, grabbing his backpack and rummaging through it.

“Ta-da!” He held out his arm presenting an already pre-rolled joint.

And then he dropped it. Right in the ocean.

“You dropped it.” You stated.

JJ’s eyes were glued to the water, right where the blunt had disappeared. “That was my last one,” he muttered.

“So much for your great idea.” You looked down at your foot, the pain had barely faded and an unpleasant itch started setting in. You knew you’d be stuck here for a while, without medical attention. 

“Please, JJ?” You gave him your best puppy dog eyes.

He sighed, “Can’t believe I’m doing this.”

…

“Your foot any better?” You and JJ munched on your last watermelon slices while watching the sunset.

“Yeah, I think so.” Truth be told it was still itching like crazy but you weren’t going to admit to yourself that JJ had peed on your foot for nothing. “Hey, if we didn’t make it off this island what would be one last thing you’d want to do?” You decided to change the topic.

“Don’t be dramatic. We’re not gonna die out here.”

“Hey.” JJ put his hand on your shoulder in reassurance, his eyes meeting yours. “The others are gonna come looking for us. They’ll notice we’re missing.”

“And if they don’t?” You asked, not very optimistic.

“They’ll notice the HMS Pogue is missing.”

You chuckled, “Okay, fair point. But theoretically, if they didn’t, what would you do?”

“Well, I dropped my last joint in the ocean, so…” His gaze lingered on your face for a moment. “Do you know why I brought you out here?”

“Because you wanted to show off JJ-island, a totally ordinary sandbank in the middle of nowhere, discovered by the great JJ Maybank, and I was the only one who had time?” You guessed, not sure what he was getting at.

“Pope and John B actually didn’t have any plans today,” he sheepishly admitted, “I guess I just wanted to spend some time with you alone.”

You felt your cheeks heat up at the confession and suddenly JJ’s face was super close. You bit your lip unsure of what to say or whether to say anything at all. JJ took that decision from you as he leaned in further, his lips crashing into yours. You didn’t know how to react at first. You had never acted on your feelings for JJ, afraid of ruining your friendship if he didn’t return them, but you found that those worries quickly dissipated into thin air now that he was actually kissing you. You brought your hand up to cup his face and slightly opened your mouth to deepen the kiss even further.

“This,” JJ gasped, gently breaking away for air, “I guess, this would be the last thing I’d wanna do…”

You smiled against his lips, “So I heard I’m totally missing out on something called sex on the beach… And I don’t mean the cocktail,” then you captured him in another kiss. Your hands travelled down his shirt and disappeared underneath it, slowly starting to move up again. Before you could get any further though, the sound of a motorboat made you pull apart.

“What are you kids doing out here?” A male voice called out to you. Shoupe. 

The moment was definitely ruined now but at least you wouldn’t have to die here.

“Shoupe, I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see you,” JJ grinned at the officer before whispering to you, “Don’t worry, we have lots of nice beach spots at home.”