dungeons-n-dragons-n-dumbasses

[dungeons-n-dragons-n-dumbasses]

Leander: Charges in to help Ilvarus

Ilvarus: “Do you still have any of your lay on hands left?”

Leander: “Good thinking!”

Leander: Uses all of his lay on hands to heal himself

Ilvarus at 1hp:

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Leander: Wanders off on his own in Thundertree.

Ash Zombies:

Leander:

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Party: Is ambushed at Wyvern Tor

Bart:

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Alphonse and Ilvarus: Trying to calm down Champion the horse to talk to it

Ignatius, Matthias, and Leander: Healing the dying Dustyn and removing the poison from his body

Rosamel:

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Ghouls: 🧟‍♂️

Sable: 💀🎲

Alphonse: 😱

Ilvarus:

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“No Ignatius, you can’t loot him! He hasn’t even finished rolling death saves yet!”

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Bugbear: Tries to eat a rat

Alphonse coming out of wildshape:

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DM: “At the center is a stone, gold-painted sarcophagus, the sides of which bear a beautiful relief carving of two humanoid women exploring a forest together. After a closer look, you realize the two women look like those depicted on the knight’s sarcophagus you saw earlier.”

Alphonse: “By the gods.”

Ultora: “What? Have you figured something out?”

Alphonse: “They were tombmates.”

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Vecna: Appears

Party: Begins to panic

Vecna: Gives them supernatural gifts and then fucks off

Party:

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Party: Meets up at the Unearthed Cafe to discuss the heist plan

Rosamel: “Are any of the guards assholes so I can avoid interacting with them?”

Ernaldis and Ultora: start venting about Maryam and Garent

Rosamel and Quinrich:

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Alphonse: “Ignatius! Put the shield back!"

Ignatius: "Why?"

Alphonse: “We're not grave robbers! And we certainly aren't stealing from a knight's tomb!"

Ignatius: “It's shiny. It's magical." (gestures at the sarcophagus) “And they're not using it any more."

Ultora: (calling from the doorway) “Hey guys? Is this gonna be a problem?"

Alphonse: (walks over to see what Ultora is talking about) “Is what going to be a- Is that a ghost in fucking plate armor?!"

Ignatius: Hastily puts the shield back

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