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hey there!

it's been a hot second.

dunno why i got the compulsion to randomly log into this blog after four years or so give or take, but i did indeed feel like it.

a lot in my life has changed since i last used tumblr. i've had this blog up for over six years now and it has been a long journey. i was a tween when i created this account and now i'm a fully grown adult. i didn't deactivate even if it perhaps would have been the intelligent thing to do (i said a looooot of dumb things online as a teen, lots of meaningless discourse and all that crap) because it is a time capsule for a very different point in my life that i am long since past. gotta learn from the mistakes of old for the future, yaknow? i'm not sure if any old mutuals even still use tumblr or unfollowed me long ago for inactivity (or dumb old takes, both are totally reasonable) but if you're reading this, hello! i've missed you. i hope life has been kind to you since we last interacted.

this site had such a huge impact on how i grew up. i was a very troubled child/teenager with a horrid family life and i did not know how to cope properly. i lashed out online a lot as an outlet. i realized it was an unhealthy coping mechanism when my life came crashing down, i nearly died multiple times and was in a very very dark place. those clouds have since lifted and i like to think i'm pretty well adjusted now (fingers crossed!) with a stable job and years of therapy keeping me sane. to anyone who knew me as a teen, earnestly, seriously from the bottom of my heart My Condolences Lol. i took a long break from social media after some really awful family stuff went down and i realized the way i was engaging was not healthy. all the things i thought i cared about, i thought mattered, really didn't in the end. i took the time i needed to heal and it was good for me, i like to think.

apologies for this post getting rambly it's early in the morning and i'm kind of doing this on impulse but hey what the hell it's for old time's sake. i've been on hormones for around three years now and i'm coming up on the anniversary of my top surgery and life is finally okay. not perfect, of course, but good. i'm happy. i like me. i love my friends. and i want to be alive. there is a lot worth living and loving for in this life and it took me a long time to realize that.

anyways, i'll quit hogging your dash space. much love to anybody who bothered to read my silly little post. i've been considering actually deactivating this account and starting fresh as a way to let go of the past even if it is nice to look at embarrassing old posts every now and then. i hope you're all doing well on this big blue hell site. lots of love <3

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im on twitter at this same handle so feel free to follow me there if stuff goes sideways (even though this more than likely isnt gonna affect me)

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Minors being exposed to pornographic material on this website is pretty horrid but tumblr could’ve either been explicitly a no-pornography zone from the start OR, in the current version of reality, it can implement a legitimate filtering system ADMINISTERED BY HUMANS RATHER THAN RUNNING A SINGLE POORLY CODED BOT WRITTEN IN PHP, the current solution directly affects the survival income of a very large amount of people and is the laziest and cheapest one they could implement.

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im gone for like a week and more shit starts happening huh

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thinking about remaking since i keep getting recommendations for tf2 even though i don’t really post about tf2 anymore....plus ive had this blog for so damn long i think starting fresh would be nice

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minecraft villager: hrn…

everybody out loud: hrn..

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paypal.me/drpepperphd

hey hi were fuckin broke as per usual, anyone wanna send money so we can like, live and stuff ? thank u ily have a good day

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happy thanksgiving everyone. if anyone out there is not having the best holiday / is being forced to spend time with abusive or unsupportive families, please realize that you are loved more than you know and that things will be okay. not to be personal on main or anything but around this time last year, i was struggling through living with my mother’s abuse and it took a humongous toll on me mentally. i was so scared and upset and i thought things would never get better; yet here i am, away from her and safe, and i’m healing. each and every day it gets a little easier. and one day, no matter how far off that may be, you will heal, too. the pain will ease. life is always worth living, no matter the odds, and your presence has value. things will get better. you will get better. peace ✌️

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Undyne and alyphss :3

the lesbian & bi alliance! ✨♀️❤️♀️✨

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happy thanksgiving everyone. if anyone out there is not having the best holiday / is being forced to spend time with abusive or unsupportive families, please realize that you are loved more than you know and that things will be okay. not to be personal on main or anything but around this time last year, i was struggling through living with my mother’s abuse and it took a humongous toll on me mentally. i was so scared and upset and i thought things would never get better; yet here i am, away from her and safe, and i’m healing. each and every day it gets a little easier. and one day, no matter how far off that may be, you will heal, too. the pain will ease. life is always worth living, no matter the odds, and your presence has value. things will get better. you will get better. peace ✌️

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lgbt ppl won’t get their rights until megamind 2 is made

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thank you so much to the game that got

 me into the zelda series 20 years ago

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frisk is playing kirby super star ultra

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