dxpaa

[dxpaa]

The smell of heavy cigarette smoke was in the air. It was so strong and intense that it can gave someone a headache. Even opening the windows wide open didn't help to remove this heavy odor. The entire penthouse from the first to the second floor was filled with the smell of Shiu's cigarettes as he sat behind the white leather sofa in the guest room, slowly sipping his cigarette and sorting through the paperwork on another new case.

Everything was a mess. Literally everything. The coffee table was littered with papers and various pictures of the new target the client had given. On the edge of the marble table stood an empty whiskey glass with a leftover ice cube inside. In the middle was an ashtray with more than five cigarette butts inside.

The wall clock strikes exactly midnight.

You open the bedroom door and, wrapped in nothing but a white silk robe, walk downstairs to the first floor. You cough a few times on the way down and cover your nose and mouth with the palm of your hand. Stepping barefoot on the cold tiled floor, goosebumps arrive on your skin.

Stopping at the penultimate staircase, you see Shiu sitting in the semi-darkness, concentrating in his work. Everything around him was dark aside from the chandelier above and the light of the moon from the window.

You watch your husband take another drag and exhale smoke into the air. A little bit of ash falls down.

Right on the white, expensive couch. The most expensive piece of furniture in this huge penthouse.

"What the hell, Shiu?!" You quickly run up to him and sweep the ashes off the couch.

You frown your eyebrows and bend down to look over to see if the ash left a mark on your favorite couch. You turn to your husband who stares at you silently and exhales smoke.

You cough and wave the smoke away with your hands. "Doll, don't worry about that couch. I'll buy you ten more of these if you want them" He smirks cheekily at you, but you didn't care about laughing or his stupid jokes right now.

"Ughhh, it's not funny, baby."

Your man sighs and finishes his cigarette and puts it out in the ashtray. He reaches for his glass, but seeing that it is empty, he reaches under the table and pulls out a bottle to pour himself another drink.

When you see this, you quickly snatch the bottle from his hands and put it behind your back.

"Alcohol won't help you with your work. Neither will cigarettes." You try to soften your tone so you don't sound too harsh. You've seen how tired your husband has looked lately and you didn't want to push him even harder.

"I don't like having that disgusting smell in our house all the time" You sit down on the soft rugs and look up at him. Shiu looks down at you too, sitting on the couch and remains silent. Though knowing him, he'd say something right now to tease you. But he just doesn't say anything. You lay your head in his lap.

"Let's go to bed, dear."

He runs his rough hands through your hair, looking at the mess on the table.

"I've got more shit to deal with. The customer has been very generous this time and if we get this bastard out as soon as possible, the payoff will be fantastic. I can't just let it go now."

He removes his hand from your head and reaches for the stack of papers to go through them again. You lift your head, feeling useless because there's no way you can help your lover.

"I can help you if you need it."

Shiu smiles snidely and looks at you out of the corner of his eye "So what are you going to help me with, doll?"

You run your eyes over the whole mess and remain silent.

Really, how are you going to help him?

"I can sort the papers. Or find information that will be useful to you." You look at him hopefully, but he doesn't even listen to you, leaving the two of you in silence.

"Shiu?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Yeah, you said you wanted to offer me your help" He sets aside the first stack of papers and picks up the second.

"Yes baby, I said I could sort your papers for you or find useful information for you." You say it again and get a short “mhmm” in response.

Your man didn't seem interested in your help. He doesn't even look at you. His eyes are scanning for more important things than your help. You sit down next to him on the couch and rest your chin on his shoulder. Your gaze falls on the photos of the man, taken surreptitiously in various locations.

"Is this your victim?"

After a few seconds of silence on his part, you hear a simple “yes”.

After a little more time, you ask the question again. "And what's his offense that he needs to be killed?"

"I don't give a fuck about what he did. I was given an assignment, I took it." Shiu gives out sharply irritated. He's never spoken to you so rudely.

You realize that he obviously doesn't want to be in your company right now, so you sit away from him a little. You both sit in silence for a while longer again. You glance at clock. It's almost 1. am in the morning.

"I can really be of use to you, baby. Just give me an assignment and I'll-"

"It's getting late, go upstairs and go to bed. I'll join you later."

You press your lips together with an incomprehensible sense of resentment. You don't want to be listened to and are considered a burden.

"Shiu?"

The man clenches his teeth, trying to even out his tone.

"Yes, doll?"

It still sounds fake. Like he's holding back aggression.

You gently take his hand.

"Love, let's go to bed. You don't need to stress yourself out with this work. This case and the customer can wait. You can finish everything tomorrow too. Let's just-"

"What the fuck are you saying that for?! Do you realize what kind of shit yer saying right now? No, the job and the customer can't fucking wait! Don't you realize how important this is to me?”

You recoil fearfully from his harsh tone. You look at his angry face and the expression he's literally yelling at you with. You silently rub your hands together to calm yourself down somehow.

"Why can't you just fucking go to bed alone?"

"I can't sleep without you. I'm cold and I feel lonely." your voice treacherously shakes, giving away the anxiety coming up to your throat. One foot begins to rub the other. Your fists rub together so hard that your knuckles start to turn red.

Shiu swallows. He slowly begins to realize what he has done. With just his words alone.

"I just don't like to see you get tired." You slowly get up from the couch and walk backwards away from your husband. "I feel just awful when I see you working all day, killing people and coming in at night covered in someone’s blood."

Your husband looks at your trembling hands that can't stop rubbing against each other. You don't even look at him. Your gaze is downcast.

"And me... I'm just sitting at home. Alone. Sometimes I go shopping and cook us dinner. I feel like a useless trophy wife. And I really… really want to try to do something for you."

"Fuck" The man lowers his face into the palms of his hands. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…"

But you don't stop. The words pour out of you like a flood. "Shiu, I don't know why it happened today. I really didn't mean to piss you off. Maybe I'm just too clingy. I hate seeing you working hard for us and me just sitting back."

You stare off into the distance at the kitchen cabinets. Specifically the outermost upper cabinet. That's where the last shelf on top holds your tranquilizers, which you stopped taking a long time ago after Shiu came into your life. But you always knew exactly where the medicine you needed was, and even with your eyes closed you could get to it from the other side of the house.

You swallow and close your eyes, trying not to think about the pills you've been addicted to for years. Anxiety was starting to come up your throat again and it was making you feel nauseous.

"I can sleep on my own tonight if I need to, it's fine. I-I... I mean y-you..."

You started gasping for breath from the sudden lack of air and rubbed your fists even harder until bleeding wounds appeared.

Shiu Kong, one of the most violent men in criminal organizations, abruptly drops to your lap and presses his forehead into your stomach. His arms hug you tightly and soothingly stroke everything he can touch. Your legs grow weak, but you try to stand still. Your trembling hands run through your husband's dark hair. You take his face in your hands and lift his face so he can meet his gaze with yours.

You see his red tired eyes that were wet with tears. The male hitman who brutally killed everyone was kneeling in front of his wife, resting his head on her stomach and crying.

"My love, I’m so deeply sorry. I don't fucking deserve you" He kisses your flat stomach and gently strokes your back.

You're still breathing hard, but you're trying to count backwards from a hundred to at least calm yourself down.

"I need the pills, Shiu. Otherwise I won't be able to calm myself down..."

"No, please, I'm begging you, love. Please forgive me for my words. I completely forgot about your fragile health. But please don't touch the pills."

Your husband rises to his feet and puts his hands on your shoulders. He's a whole head taller than you and you have to raise your gaze to him.

"No, I can't do without them. I need my meds" You say helplessly.

Shiu pulls you to him and bumps his nose against your neck. Your pulse races frantically, but begins to slowly return to a normal rhythm.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...Fuck… I’m so deeply sorry…"

You close your eyes and remain silent, letting yourself be hugged. Your husband's hands are still stroking your back through the silk robe.

"Please forgive me. I don't know what came over me, my love."

"It's allright, Shiu."

"No, it’s not. I caused you to have another panic attack after all these years. And I'm very sorry about that. I shouldn't have said those words to you."

"Oh, dear..."

You pull away from him and look at his crying face. It was obvious that he was very sorry for what he had done.

"Y/n, darling, what can I do to make you forgive me?"

"It's not your fault, Shiu. It's okay, I'm perfectly fine. The only thing you can do for me is to put off work and go get some rest."

Your husband returns his gaze to the stack of papers lying on the coffee table.

"Seeing the way you work yourself to your limit and fuel your stress with alcohol is hurting me."

You stare at your knuckles, blood dripping from them. Shiu brings them to his lips and kisses them very gently. A trace of blood remains on his lips.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me in my life. I'm often a bastard to you-"

"No, Shiu, you're perfect. You're the best gift fate could have given me. You're someone who works for both of us and our future. If it weren't for you, we wouldn't have what we have now. If it weren't for you, I'd be on tranquilizers until I die.”

"Y/n, please..." Your husband looks at you exhaustedly again, begging for you to stop saying things like that after what he did.

"What happened is just the stress accumulated on you over the past few days. So you just need to rest."

You stroke your husband's cheek. While his casual words caused you anxiety, you healed him with your words.

"I don't fucking deserve you, doll."

He reaches for your lips for a kiss that carries all his deep feelings and apologies to you.

[dxpaa]

You’re exhausted get off Toji’s body and fall on the bed. Your muscles are aching, your hips still a little shaky and your breath is completely compressed. Your hair stuck to your face and your lips were all bitten.

Your man’s big hand comes down on your back and gently strokes it. These movements were very caring for such rough hands.

These hands could hurt others, but also gently and affectionately move them around your skin.

«You did so well today, ma. Love you»

Toji was lying on his back and looking at the ceiling. One of his hands was behind his head, and the other was on you.

Although he could have sex with you for hours, but he knew that you couldn’t go on. Two hours without a break and he took everything from you. And now you were lying unconscious on the bed.

«Ugh babe, I can’t take it anymore. My body hurts… Let’s stop.»

You knew that Toji won't force you to do anything if you don’t want to. But on the other hand, you knew that for him was still not enough.

«I mean if you want me to give you a head…»

«Hey, relax, I don’t make you do anything if you’re tired. I have a hand for that, remember?» Your boyfriend winks at you and gives you a light slap on the ass.

«You were such a good girl today, so you deserve the best aftercare ever»

You didn’t have time to object, as Toji lifts you in his arms as if you don’t weigh anything and carries you into the bathroom. You watch his smug grin and realize that he likes it. He likes courting you after you’re fucking like rabbits.

He puts you in the bath and turns on the warm water. You sit and look at the tile wall opposite, sleepy and completely exhausted. Toji crawls into the bath and sits behind you. You lean your back against his chest.

«Are you hungry? Cause I am»

«We can order a tacos»

«Great idea, babe»

You guys sit in complete silence and listen to the sound of the water. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

«Toji, can I ask you something?» In response you hear Toji mooing, which means «yes».

«Can you be more gentle next time? I just understand that how often we fuck and it happens rudely, it affects me a lot»

«Fuck, did I really go too far today?»

Toji runs his hands through your body, trying to find traces of bruises. And he finds them. Various bruises on the thighs and marks all over your body covered your pale skin.

«I’m sorry. I really love it when you’re rude, you know… but every time my body hurts and I just-»

«No need to apologize, love. I must apologize. Sometimes I don’t understand how rude my actions can be towards you»

Toji leans slightly and leaves kisses on your head and shoulders, paying attention to the places where you had dark purple marks.

If people saw your body the morning after night with your boyfriend, they’d think he was beating you. But in truth, you both enjoyed the process. His huge back was scratched and there were also marks on his neck.

«Love, I promise to be more careful and tender with you next time»

«It’s okay. I’m glad you heard me»

[dxpaa]

You wake up in the middle of the night, all crawling and shaking. You’re hugging yourself trying to get warm. Your gaze rises to the window that is half open, from which a light wind blows directly on your naked body. You were in your panties and would have been covered by a big, thick blanket if it wasn’t by your man’s side who took everything and turned his back on you.

«Holy shit»

You sweared silently to yourself and started waking up Toji, who was sleeping soundly. He lay down and covered himself with your common blanket. You climbed half your body on him and started to lightly shake his shoulder.

«Babe, wake up please. You took all the blankets to yourself»

But he didn’t hear you. His face was frowned upon as usual. He just wrapped the blanket tighter under himself.

«Toji hey, I’m very cold, wake up»

You kept shaking him, but now even more. You decided to pat him on the forehead, but even that didn’t help. You finally decided to give up and just start pulling the blanket on yourself. You pushed and pulled it on yourself, doing your best.

«What the hell are you doing, woman?!»

Toji turned his head to you in a sleepy way and looked at you with skepticism.

«What the hell am I doing?! You took our blanket and opened a fucking window in the middle of the night!»

You stared at him and finally Toji decided to share the blanket with you. You finally took a deep breath and covered yourself, but unfortunately started to snort.

«Shit»

«What?»

«I fucking hate you Toji»

You should have stood up and closed the window. Turns out there’s more than one.

Your boyfriend opened two.

He liked to sleep with the windows open, but you loved the warmth. Because of that you guys often had misunderstandings.

You stood on your legs and reached for the window handle to pull it up and close. Your smooth body is stretched out, leaving your tattoo along the spine.

«How often do I tell you that your new tattoo looks very sexy?»

Toji lay sideways, his head in his hand. He looked at your perfect body. Thin waist, beautiful back, tight buttocks, long legs and thin wrists.

«Um, probably a couple of hours ago when we got back and I started to change clothes and you decided not to hold back and fuck me a few times until I almost passed out?»

You closed the curtains and turned on the batteries to the maximum and were about to go back to bed, but saw that your man was lying unashamed, completely naked and grinning at you.

«What are you trying to say with this, Fushiguro? You have sex ban»

Toji came very close to you, completely shocked, but you ignored him and just sat in bed and closed your eyes to fall asleep again.

«What the fuck, woman?! Why? How long?»

«Until I change my mind»

Toji was going to object, but you stopped him.

«You left me naked without a blanket with an open window and now I’m fucking sick because of you, Toji. I have to get up early tomorrow, so leave me alone»

You turned your back to him and yawned, obviously tired and sleepy, to continue the dialogue with him.

Suddenly you felt the strong hands of your man grasp your waist and begin to gently stroke your stomach. His massive palms were warm compared to your slightly cold body. The way they warmed you, relaxed and lulled you. His other leg was placed on yours, and his head was placed on top of yours.

Toji was very warm and his touch to your body felt like a pleasure. He completely embraced your little body with his big one.

«I’m really sorry doll that I made you shiver from the cold. I must be that piece of fucking shit» He gently kissed you in the hair. «But please, cancel the sex ban. When I see you, I turn into a teenager without a girlfriend that is dreaming of his first time like today»

«Okay… Now shut up and sleep»

You whispered very quietly, half asleep, not even aware of what was said.

Toji did so. He became silent and drew you closer to him, closing his eyes. Under each other’s quiet breath, you both fell asleep.